Saturday, September 12, 2015

Adios, MoFo (with a dream sequence update)

Too easy a headline, considering the departed has been on life support for some time.

Rick Perry's political career ended with a whimper, a remarkable if predictable fall for the longest-serving governor in Texas history and a leader many considered the Republican Party's savior just four years ago.

History may judge it an end sealed back in 2011, when Perry froze on a debate stage and tried to recover with an embarrassed "oops." Others may remember the former governor with the movie-star looks and resume to match as Donald Trump's first political victim.

He left with a tinge of bitterness against the candidate with even more remarkable hair than his own.

In July Perry blasted Trump as a "cancer on conservatism (that) threatens to metastasize into a movement of mean-spirited politics." On Friday he offered another, more veiled, jab at the real estate mogul and star of wildly popular television show "The Apprentice."

"The conservative movement has always been about principles, not about personalities," Perry told the Missouri crowd.

"Our nominee should embody those principles. He or she must make the case for the cause of conservatism more than the cause of their own celebrity."

With $13 million remaining in his super PAC account, Governor Oops can still be a kingmaker of sorts.  Don't count on him crowning The Donald with any money.  The fellow who stands to benefit the most from Perry's second crap-out in four years is probably Ted Cruz.

Cruz feels that Perry's exit will make it easier to attract top Texas donors who hadn't otherwise contributed to the senator, because they didn't want to be seen as publicly choosing sides against Perry, the person said. It also may make the March 1 Texas primary "a lot cleaner," since Cruz will be the clear home-state choice.

At the moment, polling in Iowa shows Trump, Ben Carson, Cruz, and Carly Fiorina first through fourth.

Between the four of them, there’s about two-and-a-half years of experience in public office — all belonging to Cruz — and that experience largely consists of shouting and/or reading children’s books in an empty room while C-SPAN cameras whir softly.

We're gonna let you git on down the road, Goodhair.

Update:  I did not have time to include this in the post, but on Friday night I had a dream that involved me being at a party with Taylor Swift (she performed in Houston this past week) and a few hundred other of her closest friends.  It should be noted here that I am not a fan, don't have any of her music, don't know any of the words or even titles of her songs.

But there I was, sitting at the edge of a luxurious, resort-style swimming pool, legs in the water, eating a delicious stuffed croissant with crab and mushrooms and some kind of creamy alfredo sauce (essentially something I can never eat, as I am diabetic).  A waiter came by and I asked me if I would like to have a 'margarita shrimp cocktail', which he promptly set down beside me.  It was, as you might visualize, a frozen margarita with boiled shrimp lining the rim.  As I surveyed the delicacies I was eating and about to eat, I looked up, and from across the pool Taylor was waving at me.  I smiled and waved back, then noticed from the lower corner of my eye that someone in one of those floating chair things -- the kind with a cup holder in the armrest -- had paddled over to me and was extending his hand to shake.

It was Rick Perry, and he wanted to thank me for everything that I had blogged about his campaign through the years, how grateful he was for all the help, and blahblahblah....

Apparently that was too much cognitive dissonance for my conscious mind to endure, and it promptly shook my subconscious/unconscious by the figurative shoulders and I woke up.  Grinning.

(That's the best imitation of your style that I am capable of, Katy.)


Zacherydtaylor said...

I just thought I'd offer my condolences.

I know you don't want him in office either locally or nationally any more than any sane person but he was so easy to criticize.

If it's any consolation you can pick any of the other GOP candidates or Hillary and they're practically as bad if not worse, so there is no shortage of clowns to criticize.

If that doesn't horrify you enjoy it.

PDiddie said...

There was a time, four or maybe five years ago, when I was worried that he might become POTUS. He had all the trappings of being successful at his quest; the Christian right adored him.

Nobody could have foreseen a greater fall from grace by his own hand.

Now I can finally change my Twitter avatar.

Gadfly said...

Wait, don't give up the corn dog. Or, if you do, replace it with Huckleberry J. having gay sex. He needs the publicity.

More seriously, do you think Perry throws what weight he has in Cruz's direction? I think he stays totally silent. He doesn't like the Donald; his Bush relations are troubled; I don't think he has special love for Ben Carson; he's already made the "just a senator" comments about Cruz.

PDiddie said...

I believe there's a Greg Abbott text message you promised to provide as a new Twitter icon...

The super PAC money (apparently) has to go back to them that gave it. So as for moral support, yeah, I suspect Cruz eventually gets it, certainly if he rises as Trump falls. And Trump may finally be peaking.

Gadfly said...

Here's the URL for the original:

Unknown said...

There was a time, four or five years ago, when I was also worried that he might wind up as President.

I was getting most of my news online, and not watching a lot of youtube clips at the time. So he LOOKED so darn presdiential, plus he had the resume and... I was worried.

Then I saw a clip of him cradling a bottle of syrup or soemthing and it was an entirely different Rick Perry than who I thought he was.

It's weird to think that, other than possibly his criminal trial, we might never have a reason to say the words "Rick Perry" ever again.

(Oh, and your dream sequence rocked. I am honored to have been mentioned in conjunction with it.)

PDiddie said...

"Honored". Pffft. Stop pumping sunshine up an old man's skirt, willya?

I ain't half the writer you are. If I was, I'd suggest a collaboration of some sort. As it is, I'd be happy to be your agent when you finally hit it big.

Gadfly said...

Katy needs to write a book out of some of these, as essays.