Regarding the mosque near ground zero, I say let them build it. But across the street, we should put a topless bar, called "You Mecca Me Hot". Next to that, a gay bar called "The Turban Cowboy" and next to that, a pork-rib restaurant called "Iraq o' Ribs"? And a check cashing center called..."Iran out of... money"
This is my response:
This is a great idea! But we could just get the strip club that's already there to change its name (from the Pussycat Lounge). And the Thunder Lingerie and More sex shop ('more' looks like peep shows and dildos) could rename itself "72 Virgins". Talk about Meccan me hot...
Within three blocks of Ground Zero, there are 17 pizza shops (one slice of Meat Lovers, extra sausage, for my Muslim buddy over there on the corner), 18 bank branches (Iran Outta Money is perfect), 11 bars, 10 shoe stores (I like "Duck, Bush!" personally) and 17 separate salons where a girl can get her lady parts groomed. How about "Brazilians by Chileans"? Allah Akbar!
Not to mention at least ten churches, three synagogues, one Buddhist community center, a Hare Krishna facility and an existing Muslim prayerhouse that, on its website, denies any connection to "any other organization trying to build anything new in the area of downtown Manhattan".
I'm not making any of this up (except the renames, in the spirit of the OP). Just Google 'ground zero strip club' and click on the NY Daily News link. It should be the second one from the top.
You know what I like best about this suggestion? Morons like Newt Gingrich may finally stop calling GZ 'sacred ground'.