Scattershooting Rand Paul, Rahm Emanuel, and other clay targets

It's as easy as Dick Cheney blasting a pigeon-load into that guy's face.

-- I wanted to save some Randy snark for today because everybody else in the world jumped on Ron Paul's boy yesterday.  Lindsey Graham -- excuse me, Senator Huckleberry J. Butchmeup -- got hot out of the gate on Sunday morning.

“The best (Iran nuclear) deal, I think, comes with a new president,” Graham said. “Hillary Clinton would do better. I think everybody on our side, except maybe Rand Paul, could do better.”

Ha.  Then the rest of the GOP hawks followed suit, running a million dollars' worth of television advertising as he was declaring, calling him a dove.  Or maybe a pussy.  NYT, via Crooks and Liars:

As Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky is set to announce his presidential campaign on Tuesday, a television ad tethers him to President Obama’s policy on Iran as part of a $1 million advertising buy painting him as “dangerous.”

The ad is a 30-second spot that will run on broadcast networks and on Fox News this week in the first four early primary states — Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina, according to a person familiar with the buy, who provided the spot. It is unusual for an outside group to try to swamp a candidate’s announcement day, but Mr. Paul has been viewed with deep concern by foreign policy hawks for his non-interventionist views. The ad is being run by a 501(c)4 group, the Foundation for a Secure and Prosperous America, that doesn’t have to disclose its donors and is led by Rick Reed, a strategist involved in the “Swiftboat Veterans for Truth” against John Kerry in the 2004 presidential campaign.

Their emphasis.  You gotta love it when they eat their own like this.

Libertarians said to stop calling Rand a libertarian.  FiveThirtyEight pointed out that he's losing his father's base (of racist wingnuts; they have many better options in 2016, after all).  Mark Halperin said -- in an apparent compliment, in context -- that Paul sounded like the "Peanuts mom" to the rest of the GOP. Wahwah wahwah wahwah.  At least he'll let me keep my dick pics.

Seriously though.  Which would you rather buy: a Rand Paul-autographed copy of the United States Constitution for a thousand bucks, or a cellphone case from Ready for Hillary that cannot be used for multiple devices for $20.16?

The choice is clear.  (Neither.)

Update: More hilarious misfires from AMERICAblog that include music copyright violations, Paul's "eductation" policy, use of stock photos to represent supporters, and reTweeting a picture of the Aurora, CO movie theater murderer, Photoshopped, holding  a "Stand with Rand" sign.

This is an even more epic online failure than Ted Cruz's rollout.

-- Score another win for the Evil Empire, as Rahmbo turns back Chuy Garcia in Chi-town.

With nearly all voting precincts reporting results, Emanuel had about 56 percent of the vote compared to around 44 percent for Garcia.

[...]

Many of those heading to the polls Tuesday said the election should be a signal.

"Hopefully he (Emanuel) takes heed of the runoff when he should have been a shoo-in," said Richard Rowe, a 50-year-old, who planned to vote for the incumbent.

Jesus Fernandez, a 44-year-old window washer who voted for Garcia, had the same view.

"If he (Garcia) gets close, we might push Rahm to do something," Fernandez said. "At least we push him a little bit."

Yeahno.

"The mayor is who he is," said Paul Green, political science professor with Roosevelt University. "I think he's sincere when he says he'll listen more, but I don't think it will change much."

Political consultant Don Rose, a Garcia adviser, said Emanuel is both the "ultimate pragmatist" and the "ultimate egotist," so it is tough to say what lessons he will take from the election. One change Emanuel will need to make is his reputation as anti-union, Rose said.

Good luck with the hope for change, Chicago.

-- Speaking of cannibalization, Shell is swallowing BG for $69 billion, and there's more devouring of each other by Big Oil in the pipeline.

I'm sure someone will tell us this is a good thing.

-- Speaking of dick pics, good old Uncle Sam has been wiretapping Americans without a warrant since at least 1992.

The U.S. government was tracking the international phone calls of Americans nearly a decade before the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, USA Today reported, citing current and former officials involved with the operation. The report said the Justice Department and the Drug Enforcement Administration amassed logs of virtually all telephone calls from the USA to as many as 116 countries linked to drug trafficking. The now-discontinued operation was the government's first known effort to gather data on Americans in bulk, the report added.

Why was it discontinued, pray tell?

The program, run by the (DOJ and DEA), was halted by Attorney General Eric Holder in 2013 amid the fallout from revelations by former National Security Agency contractor Edward Snowden about NSA data collection, the paper reported.

Another thing I am grateful to Snowden for.  That makes at least five, counting these four.