She said it

"She is not here. She is campaigning all over Texas. But she is taking her pay from the taxpayers ... I don’t consider that integrity, and I don’t consider it leadership."

-- Kay Bailey Hutchison, about her opponent, Harris County treasurer Nikki Van Hightower, in their 1990 run for state treasurer

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In her book "Going Rogue", Sara Palin says she made frugality a point when traveling on state business as Alaska governor, asking "only" for reasonably priced rooms and not "often" going for the "high-end, robe-and-slippers".

Fact-check: Although travel records indicate she usually opted for less-pricey hotels while governor, Palin and daughter Bristol stayed five days and four nights at the $707.29-per-night Essex House luxury hotel (robes and slippers come standard) overlooking New York City's Central Park for a five-hour women's leadership conference in October 2007. With air fare, the cost to Alaska was well over $3,000. Event organizers said Palin asked if she could bring her daughter. The governor billed her state more than $20,000 for her children's travel, including to events where they had not been invited, and in some cases later amended expense reports to specify that they had been on official business.

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"I went to sleep, and when I woke up people were mad at Obama. And I thought, 'Did I miss something? Did Obama start an illegal war? Did he fly over a flood zone and just wave? Did he torture detainees in a secret prison? Did he start illegally tapping phones? Did he alienate the world and squander a surplus? Because if he did any of that, we need to impeach that jackass.' ...

Carrie Prejean, the former Miss California, made a triple-X movie of herself. So now we know why she was stripped of her title --not for being anti-gay, but for being pro-stupid. She actually thought it wouldn’t get out? C'mon! It always gets out. That's the first 'Law of Pornodynamics': A pair of fake boobs in motion stays in motion."

"I hereby appoint myself the president's Tell-People-Where-to-Go-and-What-to-Kiss Czar. Fox News, if you want an exclusive: pucker up!"

-- Wanda Sykes