Saturday, December 29, 2007

In Harris County, DA stands for Dumb Ass

A few samples from around the Tubes regarding the escapades of Harris County's district attorney, Chuck Rosenthal:

As district attorney of a county with a population of four million, more than that of several states, Mr. Rosenthal also presides over the country’s busiest capital punishment establishment, which has sent 100 convicted murderers to their deaths since 1976.

Following in the footsteps of former congressman Mark Foley, it seems like Harris County’s District Attorney, Chuck Rosenthal, forgot emails are forever. Especially those emails you send from your County-owned computer. What part of “open records” do you not understand?? What part of “fidelity” and “adultery” do you not understand?

Dumb, Chuck. Really. Dumb.

What makes us want to up chuck, Chuck, are the mash notes emailed to your former mistress and current Executive Assistant, Kerry Stevens, some of which were printed in today’s Houston Chronicle. ...

This statement from Rosenthal:

Recently some Harris County District Attorney inner (sic) office emails have been released in the media.

I understand that I have said some things that have caused pain and difficulty for my family, my coworkers and friends. I deeply regret having said those things. Moreover, I am sorry for the problems I have caused anyone.

I also understand that sometimes things happen for a purpose. This event has served as a wake-up call to me to get my house in order both literally and figuratively.


Romeo, you’d best take your pants to the tailors and get those faulty zippers replaced. Again.

One of our usually reliable sources in Houston said to watch for Chuck’s resignation announcement. While we agree wholeheartedly that he needs to resign because his actions reflect his lack of personal integrity which; therefore, reflects poorly upon the integrity of his DA’s office, we’ll wait and see. We’re five days away from the filing deadline.

Five days can be an awfully loooong time in Texas politics.


"nonewsisgoodnews", commenting on the story at the Chron:


Why is anyone surprised Rosenthal put his (former???) girlfriend on the public payroll at about double the going rate for her "official" duties? This is the same guy that went to the jail to interview a defendant by claiming he was a defense attorney. The same guy who invited an attorney to bring his client to his office for a "private" meeting, and then planted a "bug" in a clock so that he could listen in to private discussions between the attorney and his client.

His biggest claim to fame was that when the federal building in Oklahoma City was blown up, he celebrated by getting drunk at his desk, and then set off firecrackers in the District Attorney's building. He had a heck of a laugh as terrified prosecutors scrambled down the stairwells in fear of their lives.

But, he is immune to critics. He goes to all Republican party gatherings with a bracelet that says "WWJD"...What Would Jesus Do?" Among the Republican faithful, that bracelet means you are free to do what ever you want.


And finally the translated statement from Rosenthal, courtesy Bay Area John:


Recently some Harris County District Attorney inner office emails have been released in the media. It makes me look like a hypocrite which lately is not hard to do in the Republican party.

I understand that I have said some things that have caused pain and difficulty for my family, like writing an email that said I wanted to kiss my secretary behind her right ear when in fact her left ear is just as luscious. Or wanting to caress her firm supple breasteses. (Ok I didnt write that, but I did think it) I deeply regret having said those things although I had quite a woody when I did.

I also understand that sometimes things happen for a purpose. Maybe this will encourage my wife to leave my sorry ass, or for the Harris County Republican Party to denounce my adulterous behavior and demand my resignation. But I am not going to hold my breath since Jared Woodfill is a big wuss and won't do diddly squat. In fact maybe Jared should resign.

This event should serve as a wake-up call to the voters of Harris County concerning the lack of ethics, intelligence, and Christian family values of the Gross Old hyPocrite party.

Charles "The Horny and Incredibly Stupid" Rosenthal
Soon to be Former Harris County District Attorney

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