Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Rick Perry unable to locate vagina on anatomical doll

At least he can count to three (special sessions)...

In a skirmish at the University of Texas Medical School in Houston about the state’s new ultra-restrictive abortion law, Democratic Senator Wendy Davis angrily told Texas Republican Governor Rick Perry he knows nothing about human reproduction or women’s vaginas.

“You don’t have to own an SUV to know where to pump the gas,” responded Perry, drawing immediate boos from the small lecture hall full of med students and from some of the media in attendance.

As the governor’s press handlers started to interrupt, Perry waved them off and stepped up to an anatomically-correct ‘female’ doll used in medical training that was lying on an examining table in the room.

“I’m not stupid.  Those are the vagina right there,” said Perry, pointing at but not touching the labia majora, the visible protruding edges leading in to the vagina.

As CNN reported, the room went quiet for a very brief second before erupting in “loud, loud laughter and what-the-f’s.”  Over the noise, Senator Davis could be heard repeating over and over, “Are you kidding me?  Are you kidding me?”

The best satire is when you have to question whether what you are reading is the truth. This isn't as pathetic as the Republican state representative who has suggested that Wendy Davis pay the state back for the costs of a special session with some of her fundraising, but it would be if it were reality.

As reporters began shouting questions at the governor, he and security team agents huddled around the medical-training doll with Chief of Staff Billy B. Adair seen talking quietly into Perry’s ear.

“Hell, I was close,” said Perry, shrugging to the crowd in the room as he was shuffled out of the room speaking back over his shoulder.

“It’s all about protecting unborn life, not about where some gal’s body parts are.  I knew it was there somewhere…” he could be heard saying as his voice trailed off into the hallway.

The governor's actual chief of staff is a woman. Presumably she could have been of more assistance. Presumably. 

Senator Davis, who filibustered the first attempt to pass the abortion bill, said she couldn’t stop laughing because Perry’s comments were so “scary, scary stupid.”

“He just compared women’s bodies to his Chevy Suburban,” said Davis loudly over the buzz of talking in the room.

“Governor Perry couldn’t find a vagina today.  Governor Perry couldn’t find a vagina if you put a post-it note on it.”

Update: More from Wonkette on Giovanni Capriglione, the Tea Pee state rep mentioned above...

Sorry Wendy Davis, but there is no arguing with logic like that! Maybe think of all the muneez it will cost you next time you use your rights as a member of a democratically elected body to speak your dumb lady words. Don’t think of it as a bunch of fascist yahoos trying to intimidate you out of exercising your rights. Just think of it as a special “poll tax” for your mouth! We are pretty sure the Supreme Court would be just fine with that.

I'm thinking that reimbursement should occur immediately after the governor pays the state back for his security detail expenses. Yes, that would be the same security detail that could not help him find the "lady's" business.


Ted McLaughlin said...

Great post. Wish I could say the same about our governor, but sadly, he is just a joke.

Greg said...

I suppose you would have preferred that he stick his finger in and finger-f*ck the thing.

The reality is that he pointed to where the vagina is with the degree of specificity and decorum that was appropriate to the discussion.

Unknown said...

I bet Rick Perry could find a Prostate in the dark on the first try.

PDiddie said...

LMAO, Greg. You obviously missed the satire disclosure.

Greg said...

No, I got the satire disclosures -- but note that what you and the semi-talented hack that you excerpted from are mocking the target for doing something which would, in context, have been perfectly appropriate. That's why the satire fails.

PDiddie said...

I hate for reality to intrude here, but the satire didn't fail: Statcounter shows 3,006 hits on that post -- my post, not the original -- this week. Most of the traffic comes from Google.

Maybe you would have been better off just deleting your first comment. I have a screenshot just in case ;)