Sunday, July 13, 2025

'The River Ran Cold as ICE over Biblical Grounds' Funnies


Sometimes the toons just can't be funny given the state of current events. This isn't one of those weeks. The wheels certainly came off for Trump and his cabinet of sycophants, but the gas tank also exploded and the airbags blew up in their faces. And as awful as it has been for Central Texas campers, migrant families, and the Americans who love them, the cartoonists cracked wise at the expense of our hapless, corrupt officials in all the ways they richly deserved.

If you’re brought to tears by images of waterlogged stuffies and want to know who is to blame for the deadly Hill Country floods, Gov. Greg Abbott doesn’t want to hear it. “That's the word choice of losers," Abbott said when asked by a reporter who was responsible for the devastation. As our governor tells it, the July 4th flood was less a preventable tragedy and more a fumbled play under the Friday night lights. “Know this, every football team makes mistakes,” he said. “The losing teams are the ones that try to point out who's to blame.’” So dry those eyes and rub some dirt on it. Coach Abbott is here to focus on results -- just don’t expect him to review the game tape.


Beck has got this. An anthem for Gov. Greg.

The forces of evil in a Bozo nightmare
Ban all the music with a phony gas chamber
'Cause one's got a weasel and the other's got a flag
One's on the pole, shove the other in the bag
With the rerun shows and the cocaine nose job
The daytime crap with the folksinger slop
He hung himself with a guitar string
A slab of turkey neck and it's hangin' from a pigeon wing

Gotta get right if you can't relate
Trade the cash for the beef, for the body, for the hate
And my time is a piece of wax fallin' on a termite
That's chokin' on the splinters
Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(Get crazy with the Cheeze Whiz)

Adam Zyglis drew death threats from MAGA for this one, above.


Kristi the Gnome has proven incapable of doing her job. Clay Jones does a masterful takedown of her shortcomings, but beyond the hilarity of her vacuous incapability is the fact that Texans calling for help in the wake of the flood couldn’t find any.
The City of Angels is under siege from an ICE storm. Brad managed several related toons and even worked Lalo Alcaraz in, but somehow overlooked the travesty in his own barrio.
Who would Jesus deport? Worse question: Who would deport Jesus? Why, Christian conservative Republicans, of course. Zionists would just bomb the concentration camp where he had fled.
King T has decreed that no one shall speak of his former best friend and pedophile, but unlike the files that have *allegedly* gone missing from AG Bondi's desk, that topic isn't going to be censored.
Ken Paxton is getting a D-I-V-O-R-C-E. It's bitter. Not their split; the reaction from MAGA toward state Senator Angela, whom they deem a saboteur of his US Senate bid against John Cornhen. Try to imagine being so radicalized that you think K-Pax becoming USAG would be bad because it makes Corn Dog's path to re-election easier.
And the Texas Lege reconvenes in short order to take up a few pressing concerns, like a bathroom bill, redistricting Democrats out of power, and (maybe) outlawing cannabis gummies. Ban Patrick is undoubtedly stressed out about having to kneel to the Fumbling QB.
Elon seems serious about a third party. I'd settle for a second one.
Ted Rall (commentary, no cartoon):

In this two-party system, a third party should begin by running as a second party. Seventy percent of the 76,902 elections held in the United States are uncontested, meaning that the number of candidates on the ballot is less than or equal to the number of seats up for election. Whether it's for state senate, city council or county coroner, unchallenged incumbents always win.

Seventy-eight percent of law enforcement elections have one candidate on the ballot.

So if reform/progress is still possible via elections -- a tenuous prospect on its best day -- people who care about that need to shift into high gear. You know, as with the climate crisis, building independent media, and a handful of other things.
Two obits, cartoonist Steve Benson and ...
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1 comment:

Sue said...

So yes as usual the dog killer, Kosplay Kristi, is trying to pick out the best photo of herself while people are suffering and people have lost their lives and lost children that were innocent in all of this. They can't even seem to muster outrage against the orange corpulent protuberance and the incompetent governance of this state when it's white Christian children that were killed. If it had been brown or black children it wouldn't have even made the news. Cancun Cruz is once again off vacationing with his family. He did it during the freeze and now during the flood maybe he doesn't like weather events that begin with the letter F or maybe it's a big F to all of his constituents.

2:42 PM

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