Sunday Funnies, Unscripted and Spontaneous edition

Adios, MoFo (with a dream sequence update)

Too easy a headline, considering the departed has been on life support for some time.

Rick Perry's political career ended with a whimper, a remarkable if predictable fall for the longest-serving governor in Texas history and a leader many considered the Republican Party's savior just four years ago.

History may judge it an end sealed back in 2011, when Perry froze on a debate stage and tried to recover with an embarrassed "oops." Others may remember the former governor with the movie-star looks and resume to match as Donald Trump's first political victim.

He left with a tinge of bitterness against the candidate with even more remarkable hair than his own.

In July Perry blasted Trump as a "cancer on conservatism (that) threatens to metastasize into a movement of mean-spirited politics." On Friday he offered another, more veiled, jab at the real estate mogul and star of wildly popular television show "The Apprentice."

"The conservative movement has always been about principles, not about personalities," Perry told the Missouri crowd.

"Our nominee should embody those principles. He or she must make the case for the cause of conservatism more than the cause of their own celebrity."

With $13 million remaining in his super PAC account, Governor Oops can still be a kingmaker of sorts.  Don't count on him crowning The Donald with any money.  The fellow who stands to benefit the most from Perry's second crap-out in four years is probably Ted Cruz.

Cruz feels that Perry's exit will make it easier to attract top Texas donors who hadn't otherwise contributed to the senator, because they didn't want to be seen as publicly choosing sides against Perry, the person said. It also may make the March 1 Texas primary "a lot cleaner," since Cruz will be the clear home-state choice.

At the moment, polling in Iowa shows Trump, Ben Carson, Cruz, and Carly Fiorina first through fourth.

Between the four of them, there’s about two-and-a-half years of experience in public office — all belonging to Cruz — and that experience largely consists of shouting and/or reading children’s books in an empty room while C-SPAN cameras whir softly.

We're gonna let you git on down the road, Goodhair.

Update:  I did not have time to include this in the post, but on Friday night I had a dream that involved me being at a party with Taylor Swift (she performed in Houston this past week) and a few hundred other of her closest friends.  It should be noted here that I am not a fan, don't have any of her music, don't know any of the words or even titles of her songs.

But there I was, sitting at the edge of a luxurious, resort-style swimming pool, legs in the water, eating a delicious stuffed croissant with crab and mushrooms and some kind of creamy alfredo sauce (essentially something I can never eat, as I am diabetic).  A waiter came by and I asked me if I would like to have a 'margarita shrimp cocktail', which he promptly set down beside me.  It was, as you might visualize, a frozen margarita with boiled shrimp lining the rim.  As I surveyed the delicacies I was eating and about to eat, I looked up, and from across the pool Taylor was waving at me.  I smiled and waved back, then noticed from the lower corner of my eye that someone in one of those floating chair things -- the kind with a cup holder in the armrest -- had paddled over to me and was extending his hand to shake.

It was Rick Perry, and he wanted to thank me for everything that I had blogged about his campaign through the years, how grateful he was for all the help, and blahblahblah....

Apparently that was too much cognitive dissonance for my conscious mind to endure, and it promptly shook my subconscious/unconscious by the figurative shoulders and I woke up.  Grinning.

(That's the best imitation of your style that I am capable of, Katy.)

Best Houston mayoral debate happened last night

Best performances by the media as well.  Give serious props to moderators Eric Barajas and Rebecca Suarez for solid prep and good questions.  Not tough ones; not softballs.  Update: And to Miya Shay, who wrote them.

Televised in Spanish by Univision and in English by KTRK, the mods asked each candidate about their most-presumed weaknesses.

"I've learned a lot more from my failures than my success," said King, who smoothly pivoted the question into one about becoming a better candidate because of his earlier mistakes.

Current state representative Sylvester Turner was asked about his two failed runs at mayor prior to now, and why voters should take him more seriously this time.

"Those first two occasions are dress rehearsals; this is the real deal," quipped Turner, before turning more serious. "In life, you will go after things and you won't get it. It doesn't mean you get a negative attitude, it doesn't mean you throw in the towel and quick (sic), you keep on."

Neither of these are particularly good answers, you might note.  And after something like 30 of these fora and no traction or buzz surrounding his campaign, Bill King finally decided it was time to come out against the HERO.

King asked to clarify his stance on #hero, says he's opposed to law as it's written. #houstonvote

— Katherine Driessen (@KatDriessen) September 10, 2015

It might be too late for Pothole Bill to recapture the Hate Caucus back from Ben Hall, but since those folks are also racists... there's always a chance.

Since I missed it live (or taped, so far), I can't tell if Turner's answer about Sandra Bland might be an issue or not.  This Twitter exchange set off some alarms.

.@ESmiley4TX I came off couch w/ @SylvesterTurner's comments on #SandraBland! My God... Victim blame/defame=Dangerous #HoustonVote

— Southern Rock (@SouthernRock3) September 11, 2015

We'll wait a bit and see if that's molehill or mountain.

Hall has a commanding presence on stage.  Trained as both lawyer and pastor, he comes off as relaxed and authoritative.  I was astonished two years ago at how poorly done his TV work was.  I suspect we will see better this time.  Watch his one-minute video segment and then King's (scroll down) and see if you agree.

As the perceived (no polling yet? in mid-September?!  The first and last one came out in late June.  WTF, people?) front-runners, Sylvester Turner and Adrian Garcia took the most incoming fire.

Former Sheriff Adrian Garcia was asked about his controversial management of the Harris County Jail, which was first brought to light by ABC-13. Garcia countered that he addressed the problems as quickly as he found out, then added, " If terrible things happen as mayor, I'll take full responsibility, take action."

Garcia just doesn't have it, whatever 'it' may be.  There's no charisma, no real thoughtfulness being demonstrated.  The lights are on but nobody's home.  Maybe he's too scripted or perhaps he over-practiced.  He simply does not show, through either word or deed, the ability to lead the city.  And that's not just me saying that, but the Harris County Deputy Sheriff's union, the people he formerly commanded, who endorsed Turner yesterday in a sharp jab at the former sheriff.

And that's before you even consider his record, which is stained with a lack of accomplishment beyond Bill White's help, and a repetitive cluelessness that crosses the line to malfeasance (not just the jail mess but the no-bid consultant contract) too many times for my comfort level.  I keep trying to give Garcia the benefit of some doubt, but I still find him unfit for public service.

For his part, Chris Bell enlisted Bill King's help in pointing this out again.

.@BillKingForHou we share disappointment in #HPD solve rate. Do you accept @AdrianGarciaHTX response to the crime rate? #houstonvote

— Chris Bell (@ChrisBell2015) September 10, 2015

Only organization in the US with lower clearance rates than HPD was Harris County Sheriff's Office. @AdrianGarciaHTX https://t.co/pitteulQTo

— Bill King (@BillKingForHou) September 10, 2015

Apparently Chris Bell's biggest flaw in the contest is that he hasn't raised as much money as everybody else.  Candidly, that's a benefit and not a problem.  As long as you're not a fan of oligarchy, of course.

It was Marty McVey who got eliminated from contention last night, sadly.

Local businessman Marty McVey was asked about the more than a dozen lawsuits filed against him in the past few years. The lawsuits, one of which is scheduled to go to trial next year, stemmed from his purchase and bankruptcy of Spring Branch Medical Center. 

"We must face litigation and it's part of doing business sometime," said McVey, who countered that the Medical Center was an anomaly in his string of business successes.

Stick a fork in him.  He had some brief shining moments during the early parts of the campaign, but he's not ready for prime time.  Maybe two years from now he can be saying the kinds of things Hall and King are saying now.

As opposed to McVey, I simply don't know what to make of Steve Costello's performance.  He seems a little too bland, unanimated, "low-energy" as somebody has said about Jeb Bush -- and that's saying a lot with McVey and King to compete with.

So... any clear winners and/or losers to you?

Thanks for playing. We have some nice parting gifts for you

The line forms right over there, behind a certain former Texas governor.

-- Jeb! on with Colbert opening night, was neither hit nor flop.  I wish Stephen had asked him about his economic adviser who doesn't believe in democracy.

"Capitalism is a lot more important than democracy. I’m not even a big believer in democracy. I always say that democracy can be two wolves and a sheep deciding on what to have for dinner. ... Look, I’m in favor of people having the right to vote and things like that. But there are a lot of countries that have the right to vote and they’re still poor. Democracy doesn’t always lead to a good economy or even a good political system."

-- Ted Cruz Huck-blocked at the Kim Davis-palooza.



Absolutely priceless.  Like Governor Oops, Cruz has also turned his campaign over to a super PAC, the one headed by David Barton, who believes that AIDS is a curse sent from God and therefore doctors will never be able to find a vaccine for it.

-- South Carolina Republicans to Lindsey Graham: Please stop already.

-- Scott Walker doesn't want to talk about either the past or the future.

ABC News asked Walker how he would respond to the massive influx of refugees from Syria if he were president today. He explained that the query was flawed. As he is obviously not president, Walker argued, there is no way that he would be able to answer that question. “I'm not president today and I can't be president today,” he said. "Everybody wants to talk about hypotheticals; there is no such thing as a hypothetical" — a sentence that probably would have moved Socrates to set Walker's pants on fire himself. 

Walker has avoided answering questions with similar evasions before — although "I'm not president, so I can't answer that" is the closest he has come to finding the secret cheat code that will allow him to advance to the convention without having to provide much insight into how he might deal with the types of difficult decisions a president has to make.

Walker's next campaign reboot involves renaming himself Chauncey Gardiner.

Sorry, no Trump around here.  Plenty elsewhere if that's what you like.  Update: More yahoos who might as well call it quits: Jindal, Santorum, Pataki, Gilmore.  I wonder why nobody mentions Fat Bastard.

Houston mayoral forum tonight, televised in English and in Spanish, and we'll be back to some local coverage after that with a few contested council district race profiles and analysis, and perhaps some other hot rumors circulating.

Hillary Clinton reinvents herself again

This is worse than watching Madonna through the years.  How many more versions do we need?

The New York Times reported Tuesday that the Democratic candidate will no longer use the term “everyday Americans” when promoting her plans to bolster the middle class. While continuing to draw on her experience as a new grandmother, Clinton will talk in more general terms about bettering the U.S. for future generations, instead of making specific references to her own, privileged granddaughter. And five months after launching her candidacy with a series of small, media-free meetings with voters in Iowa and New Hampshire, Clinton’s fall schedule includes upcoming appearances on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” and “The Tonight Show” with Jimmy Fallon, and plans for larger, more informal gatherings with supporters.

More general terms than she has to this point?

In the face of an email scandal that has swelled alongside the unexpected surge in support for her less-scripted rivals Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders, Clinton aides told the Times that they are determined to highlight the former secretary of state’s sense of humor and compassion on the campaign trail.

This is, of course, just the latest attempt to reshape Clinton’s public image. In the many public roles she’s played over the last two decades — from first lady to U.S. senator to secretary of state — appearing down to earth and even human has been among Clinton’s most difficult challenges.

One she is losing. Again.

The word “polarizing” has been used to describe Hillary Clinton since she first hit the presidential campaign trail alongside her husband in 1992. Clearly interested in more than just a supporting role in the White House, Clinton’s unabashed ambition became a source of contention early on in the primary race.

“You know, some people think of you as an inspiring female attorney mother, and other people think of you as the overbearing yuppie wife from hell,” a reporter from Ohio told the would-be first lady in May 1992. “How would you describe yourself?”

By then, New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd wrote at the time, Clinton was already “on a mission to soften her image and show that she has a sense of humor.” Months earlier, she’d caused controversy with the now infamous quip, “I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but what I decided to do was to fulfill my profession, which I entered before my husband was in public life.” So, Dowd wrote, “she smiled and described herself as a wife, a mother and an activist.”

This is simply excruciating.  And it's closing in on its 24th year in syndication.

In 2014, the Clinton Library in Little Rock, Ark., released nearly 4,000 pages of internal White House communications, including a series of confidential memos revealing much of the behind-the-scenes work that went into crafting Hillary Clinton’s public image.

Memos from 1995 show Clinton staff determined to rehabilitate the country’s perception of the first lady in the wake of the health care reform failure and ahead of the 1996 election. In one of many memos sent that year, press secretary Lisa Caputo described the Clintons’ 20th wedding anniversary as “a wonderful opportunity for Hillary” to regain public affection and suggested they throw “a big party” and invite People magazine to do a photo spread of the event.

Some of Caputo’s other image-conscious ideas for the first lady included an appearance on ABC’s family-friendly sitcom “Home Improvement,” a birthday celebration for Eleanor Roosevelt to make her look “less extreme” and monthly meetings with women’s magazine editors in an effort to “turn the editors into Clinton surrogates.”

I feel like Malcolm McDowell's character in A Clockwork Orange, forced to watch the carnage until I am desensitized to it.

“For someone like Hillary Clinton, who has gone through so many incarnations in the public eye, at some point they lose themselves,” (author of the 2006 biography Hillary Rodham Clinton: Polarizing First Lady Gil) Troy said. “It’s not just about her finding her voice, it’s also about her trying to convince people that she’s authentic.”

Somebody pleeeeze tell the lady that ship has sailed.

Update: "Clinton's bungled reboot", from The Atlantic.

She could win more votes in the 18-59 demographic -- and thus the election, hands down -- in five seconds if she would say, 'I support the full legalization of marijuana', but she won't say that because of the millions she's taken from Big Pharma and the private prison industry.  And I swear to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, if she starts twerking I'm voting for Trump.

The Weekly Wrangle

(We're back to Wrangling after one week of Wangling.)

"Nobody can think straight who does not work. Idleness warps the mind." -- Henry Ford

The history of Labor Day was, as we know, once quite radical.  The Haymaker Martyrs -- along with these other forgotten heroes of the labor movement -- are best remembered as such.  The battles of labor against their oppressors is somewhat lost to the history books Wikipedia pages, but the struggles represented by the birth of the Black Lives Matter movement remind us that, as Frederick Douglass said, power concedes nothing without a demand, and that there will always be reactionary pushback against that demand.

"One machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man." -- Elbert Hubbard

Here's to the radicals, the anarchists, and the actual socialists (not to be confused with our generation's Democratic ones) who gave us this day of rest, along with the elimination of child workers, the establishment of the 8-hour day and the forty-hour work week, the paid vacation, healthcare and retirement programs that were defined by their benefits and not by the employer's contributions.  They are precisely why we had a prospering middle class in the 1950s -- you know, the good old days for white men every Republican wants to take us back to -- and the reaction to their success from the greediest people history has ever seen is why we don't have one today.

“The only place success comes before work is the dictionary.” -- Vince Lombardi

People fought and died for those freedoms, too.

"Genius begins great works; labor alone finishes them." -- Joseph Joubert

Here's the blog post roundup from last week.

Off the Kuff reported on a busy week at the state Supreme Court, which heard the school finance appeal as well as a case involving the city's of Houston's anti-pollution ordinances.

Libby Shaw at Texas Kaos, and contributing to Daily Kos, is disgusted by the right wing's politicization of a horrible tragedy in Houston. Harris County needs a new sheriff.

SocraticGadfly, having edited photos from last month, shares National Parks' geographic beauty, wildlife, history and astrophotography, in photos, narrative and photo album links from his most recent vacation.

CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme thinks Bexar County Sheriff Susan Pamerleau should be ashamed of herself for inviting death threats and hate on the TV station that broadcast video of her deputies shooting a man. Now we're supposed to trust her investigation of the incident?

PDiddie at Brains and Eggs finished posting about Houston's citywide races on the November ballot with At Large 4, At Large 5, and the controller's contest.

Egberto Willies has an example of how white allies can dispel misinformation about BLM.

Dos Centavos wants to know why Bernie Sanders doesn't have his own Hispanic billionaire funding his campaign.

John Coby at Bay Area Houston exposes more WARTS on the GOP, and questions the motives of Harris County Sheriff Ron Hickman and District Attorney Devon Anderson.

Joe Deshotel at Left in Texas has the latest podcast on 'Guns, Alcohol, and the Confederate Fail Army' posted at Burnt Orange Report.

Gaswork, a new short film by anti-fractivist and actor Josh Fox, premieres in October, and TXsharon at Bluedaze has the details and the trailer.

And last, looking for a balance in a complicated world, Neil at All People Have Value visited the place were Deputy Darren Goforth was killed in Harris County and the location in Prairie View of the incident that led to the police death of Sandra Bland. APHV is part of NeilAquino.com.

================

And here's more posts from other great blogs from last week....

Scott Braddock reports on how Texas Republicans are sending mixed signals to business interests.

Better Texas Blog is ready for a school finance solution.

TransGriot gives you some reasons to fight for the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance.

The Texas Election Law Blog fears that with redistricting still unsettled, the 2016 primaries could be a mess.

Newsdesk looks back at the Austin smoking ban, ten years after its implementation.

Bonddad has five graphs for 2015, and four bonus ones for a look ahead at our economic forecast.  Don't miss his summary at the end.

Socialist Alternative explains what the two faces of capitalism in the world represent, and the options for left movements going forward.

Mock Scissors Paper has a "Happy Labor Day" message from Scott Walker.

If You Only News presents the perfect TeaBagger socialist-free Purity Pledge.

And Fascist Dyke Motors tries to start a rumor that she is having an affair with Huma Abedin.

The Houston city controller's contest

Once more from the top of your ballot to the bottom.

• M.J. Khan
• Chris Brown
• Bill Frazer
• Jew Don Boney
• Dwight Jefferson
• Carroll Robinson

Both of my previous postings about this race got lots of clicks, so if you want some recent past history about these men then there it is.  Here's one relevant excerpt...

Frankly I am delighted to see Jew Don Boney run for city controller against Carroll Robinson. They have squared off before, and it wasn't pretty. No matter his own bumpy history, I will be pleased to support former councilman Boney's campaign -- unless I vet the potential candidates for a better one -- because Robinson is not only shady himself but also aligned with the absolute worst political mafia in Houston politics. I'm looking at you again, Hector Carreno, you slug. And Reps. Miles and Thompson, you should know better.

But this "lesser of two evils" option once again might let the Republican slip into office.

As a reminder: one of the easiest choices you can make as a voter is to never, ever vote for a candidate who doesn't understand what the responsibilities of the office he is running for are.

Also in the doomed-to-repeat-history department, both of the two Republicans bidding again for this seat barely lost to outgoing incumbent Ronald Green.  From 2013, here's my live-blogging as the returns came in that night (scroll all the way to the bottom):

Bill Frazer - 47% 47.89% 48.28% 49.02% 48.86%
Ronald Green - 53% 52.11% 51.72% 50.98% 51.14% 

The incumbent may yet hold off the Republican challenger, but late returns will tell the tale. At 9:00 p.m., Election Day results continue to narrow the gap for Frazer. 

At 9:30 p.m., just 2200 votes out of 110,000 cast separate the two. But the real news is the 30,500 undervotes in this race. At 10 p.m. Green gets a little breathing room, leading now by 3000 votes 

At 10:20 p.m., when the votes from Fort Bend and Montgomery are added, Controller Green has a 5,062 vote lead. He has narrowly avoided being upset. 38,134 Harris County voters did not vote in this race.

Khan is experienced as a former three-term council member, came very close to beating Green himself in 2009 when the term-limited Annise Parker first ran for mayor, and benefits from being tops on the ballot in a race filled with qualified candidates.  But Khan's greatest value is in siphoning off enough of Frazer's Republican support to force him into a runoff with a Democrat.  Frazer is in the catbird seat with the four Ds squaring off and "bathroom election" turnout looking promising for the city's conservatives.  He's hosted fundraisers with David Dewhurst and state comptroller Glenn Hegar, and earned the endorsement of the Kingwood Tea Party (that covers all the the GOP bases, from plain old stupid to stupid, mean, and crazy).

So who has the best chance of advancing to the December playoff with Frazer?

Morning-line handicappers might favor Son of Brown-Schlumberger.  He's been the city's deputy controller throughout the Green years, has access to all the money he needs not to lose, and he's a legacy.  Constable David Rosen wrote his own forecast of this race in the Daily Court Review praising Brown's "colossal network", evaluating the candidates most particularly on the basis of their campaign finance reports.

At least two of those four are reasons are why I cannot support Brown, though many Democrats of the Caucasian persuasion will, and that could be enough to get him over the hump.  There's also the fact that African American voters both liberal and conservative will split their votes among Boney, Robinson, and Jefferson.  The two Democratic former city council members and one former Republican state district judge (in that order) have some divergent opinions about how the office they seek helps manage the city in harmony -- or discord -- with the mayor's office.  There's an opportunity here among all these controller hopefuls for some very strategic voting.

Consider some mayoral runoff possibilities: Hall-Garcia, Hall-Turner, Turner-Garcia for just a few. With a conservative Democrat or quasi-Republican mayor and Frazer (or Khan) crunching the numbers, you can pretty much count on a lot of municipal employee layoffs to try to balance the looming crisis of a city budget, a hard line on firemen and police pensions, lots of closed libraries and swimming pools, city parks going to seed, and yes, more potholes.  If the cons sweep some of the swingy seats on council as well, a new dark day of severe austerity and homophobia takes reign over Houston.

If a someone more moderate, like Turner (or Steve Costello or Chris Bell) makes the runoff and prevails in it, then a controller like Brown or Boney or even Jefferson gives the city a little less talk and a little more action that demonstrates tolerance for threatened municipal employees, be it their jobs or their retirement plans.  In short, consider whether your choice for mayor is going to have someone in the beancounters' office he can work with... or will have to fight with.  And which of those scenarios you think might be preferable, depending on how things turn out on November 3rd.

Chris Brown straddled the fence on this matter when asked about it at the Sunnyside candidate forum.  That's not leadership, IMHO.

Prediction for the general: Too close to call on whether there will be a runoff, or whether who on either the left or the right might make one.  This is the least predictable contest on the ballot, and one which depends completely on whose voters show up.