The South Carolina subheadlines: Colbert, Cain, Santorum and Paul

Jason Stanford:

Stephen Colbert might be funny, but his exploratory campaign is no joke. The point he’s been assiduously making on “The Colbert Report” is a smart bomb wrapped inside of an absurd conundrum. Simply put, there is no greater force for campaign finance these days than Colbert. By following the tortured laws and starting his own super PAC, Colbert has unleashed a prank that could embarrass the body politic into real change.

Stephen Colbert is the most talented improvisational comedian of his generation. Only one other person in my lifetime even comes close, and he never tried to stay in a single character 100% of the time. (Sasha Baron Cohen is a solid-finishing third and Pee Wee Herman comes in a fairly distant fourth, mostly because of his tragi-comic offstage altercations.)

... Colbert mocked the reductionist absurdity of the law that danced around limits to corporate influence in politics.

“It’s how much speech they can express, because money comes from speech. … Money equals speech,” said Colbert, who then challenged (ABC's George) Stephanopoulos: “Corporations are people. You won’t weigh in on whether some people are people? That seems kind of racist.”

Is any of this more absurd than Mitt Romney denying culpability for what his super PAC does because, as he claimed in Monday’s debate, he hasn’t talked to those guys in “months”? Or, for that matter, Romney’s contention that corporations are people?

Colbert's rally with fellow clown Herman Cain in Charleston yesterday was the purest poltical irony yet seen in modern times.



"If corporations are people, then I'm a people person. The Lockheed Martin Luther Burger King, if you will."

Chuck Todd sputtered that Colbert was 'making a mockery' of the political process. Dude: you obviously haven't been paying much attention to politics over the years. Google Pat Paulsen. This has been going on since before you were born. Todd did get one thing right, though...

While expressing admiration for how Colbert has exposed a lot of the idiocy involved with the marriage of politics and money, and saying he enjoys his show, Todd went after both Colbert and Jon Stewart for mocking members of the media, then backing off and saying “we’re just comedians” when the members of the media call them out on it. “Actually, no you’re not [comedians] anymore,” Todd said. “You are mocking what we’re doing, and you want a place in this, then you are also going to be held accountable for how you cover and how you do your job.”

Yeah, somebody has mentioned that before. Back to the Palmetto Bug State and the farce of actual Republican politicians.

With the race seemingly between Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich, Republican rival Rick Santorum is bracing for a setback and looking ahead to the next contest: Florida. [...]

Romney and Gingrich were battling for the top spot in South Carolina and Santorum was looking to post an acceptable showing. During campaign stops on Friday, he cast himself as a Goldilocks candidate: just right when compared to Gingrich's "too hot" rhetoric and Romney's "too cold" personality.

Santorum also looked to disqualify the fourth candidate in the race, Rep. Ron Paul of Texas. Santorum said there were three candidates who could capture the GOP nomination and cast libertarian favorite Paul as a gadfly annoyance.

That might sting a little more if it came from a guy who remembered to pay the fee for his law license. I'm thinking that Santorum's parochial school taunts aren't having as much effect as he is praying for. Still, it's probably enough to burn the bridge between Mr. Frothy Mixture's camp and Dr. No's. Not that they ever had much in common anyway.

Ron Paul finished a strong third in the Iowa caucuses on Jan. 3 and a distant second to Romney in New Hampshire. Although he has not campaigned as much in South Carolina as he did in Iowa, he is likely to at least triple his South Carolina support from 2008 (which was 4%).

The Paul campaign has spent about $1.5 million on television advertising in South Carolina, including a spiffy spot that features a number of federal agencies going up in smoke. Beyond the Palmetto State, the campaign has signaled it will make only a modest effort in Florida because of the high cost of campaigning and because the state is unlikely to field a full slate of delegates. Florida defied Republican Party rules by moving its primary to Jan. 31; as punishment, the party has threatened to strip the state of some of its delegates.

Most observers say Paul is unlikely to get above the 20 percent mark in the upcoming primaries in Florida, Missouri, Arizona and Michigan but should do well in the upcoming caucus states of Nevada, Colorado, Minnesota and Maine. Paul’s fervent believers tend to turn out for caucuses, as they did in Iowa.

The sooner Ron Paul slides back over to the Libertarians, the more fun it will be for everybody. One last snip of brilliance:

“Ron Paul’s expected third-place finish is not that much of a surprise, as Newt Gingrich has now firmly established himself as the conservative alternative to Mitt Romney,” said Rice University political scientist Mark Jones. “What we have witnessed is less Ron Paul rising to third place and more Rick Santorum dropping to fourth place from the highs he received immediately following his success in Iowa.”

"What we have witnessed". Keep in mind that Rice University's Mark Jones is one of the most massive dumbasses who wears the title 'political scientist' ever. It's not that he gets everything wrong. He actually gets something right once in awhile (acorn/blind hog); it's that he gets paid tens, maybe hundreds, of thousands of dollars for dreck like that.

People like Mark Jones are the ones making a mockery of the political process in this country. Him, and this guy:

Fox News ‘A-Team’ Psychologist: Being Married Three Times Could Make Gingrich A Better President

No excerpt. Go read it for yourself; just be prepared to piss yourself laughing.

Update: FTR, this is what 'political science' looks like.

SCOTUS tells lower court: Start over on TX maps

"And this time, make 'em more like the Republicans drew 'em".

The Supreme Court on Friday instructed a lower court in Texas to take a fresh look at election maps it had drawn in place of a competing set of maps from the Texas Legislature. The justices said the lower court had not paid enough deference to the Legislature’s choices and had improperly substituted its own values for those of elected officials.

“To avoid being compelled to make such otherwise standardless decisions,” the Supreme Court’s unsigned decision said, “a district court should take guidance from the state’s recently enacted plan in drafting an interim plan. That plan reflects the state’s policy judgments on where to place new districts and how to shift existing ones in response to massive population growth.”

Adding to the clusterfuck...

The justices acted just 11 days after hearing arguments in the case. Primaries in Texas had already been moved back to April. For those primaries to proceed, officials there said, an answer from the courts was needed by Feb. 1. [...]

One set of maps was drawn by the Legislature, which is controlled by Republicans. Those maps seem to favor Republican candidates. The other set was drawn by a special three-judge federal court in San Antonio, and it increases the voting power of Hispanic voters and seems to help Democratic candidates.

A unanimous ruling. As in 9-0.

So it appears the three-judge panel in San Antonio will go back to the drawing board, under a severe deadline to produce additional maps ... presumably still subject to approval of The Nine. If all that can't happen by February 1 -- 8 business days from today -- then the Texas primaries will get pushed to later in the year, creating still more chaos.

Where's all that wailing from conservatives about "activist judges" now?

Occupy the Courts today

Inspired by the Occupy Wall Street movement, and specifically the civil disobedience of Dr. Cornel West, Move To Amend is planning an action event today to mark the second anniversary of the infamous Citizens United v. FEC decision.

Occupy the Courts will be a one-day occupation of Federal courthouses across the country, including the U.S. Supreme Court in Washington D.C., on Friday, January 20, 2012.

Move to Amend volunteers across the USA will lead the charge on the judiciary which created — and continues to expand — corporate personhood rights.

In Houston this evening also, a discussion featuring 2006 Democratic candidate for Texas governor Chris Bell:

On Friday evening, January 20, join us for “Corporate Personhood vs. Your Personhood: Who Has More Rights?” This panel discussion commemorates the 2nd anniversary of Citizens United v. FEC, the latest in over a century of Supreme Court decisions establishing the doctrines that corporations are people and money is speech. Panelists include former Houston city councilman and former Congressman Chris Bell, activist Arthur Shaw, and NLG attorney Burke Moore.

7:30- 10 p.m., University of Houston main campus, SEC building room 102. Free parking off Cullen in the stadium lot, across from Entrance 14. Walk across the street into Entrance 14 and you’ll see the SEC building immediately to your left.

RSVP on Facebook here.

Cleaning up the Octagon after the fights

No blood, no teeth, but a nasty mess never-the-less.

The race for the Republican presidential nomination took a turn toward the South Carolina surreal Thursday as Rick Perry dropped out, Newt Gingrich faced stunning allegations from an ex-wife and Mitt Romney struggled to maintain a shaky front-runner's standing.

An aggressive evening debate capped the bewildering day.

"Aggressive" is a word I use when my pit bull sees a squirrel in the back yard. Newt turned rabid on CNN's John King.

Gingrich angrily denounced the news media for putting his ex-wife front and center in the final days of the race. "Let me be clear, the story is false," he said. Santorum, Romney and Paul steered well clear of the controversy. "Let's get onto the real issues, that's all I've got to say," said Romney, although he pointed out that he and his wife, Ann, have been married for 42 years.

The audience gave Gingrich a standing ovation when he assailed the media, a reaction he can only hope is reflected in voter sentiment on Saturday.

And just like that, it was over.

Paul Begala:

Newt Gingrich won the debate in the first minute by casting himself as the victim not of a failed marriage but of a corrupt liberal media that is in bed with Barack Obama.

Lloyd Grove:

The former speaker lashed out like the tough guy he is, as he endured everything from John King’s questions about his ex-wife’s open-marriage allegation to Santorum’s attack on his leadership abilities.

Newt Gingrich was like a giant death star, threatening at any moment to suck into his field of gravity every single molecule of matter—from his rival presidential candidates on the stage beside him to the raucous South Carolina Republicans in the audience in front of him.

Michael Tomaskey:

And that was the only truly dramatic moment of the night. John King started with Marianne, and Newt drew not one standing ovation as he had with Juan Williams, but two. “I am appalled that you would begin a presidential debate with a topic that …” You couldn’t even hear the rest in the hall. First standing ovation. “Every person here knows personal pain.” Nice! Blah blah blah, “as close to despicable as anything I can imagine.” Blah blah blah. “I am frankly astounded.” Blah. Then—right at King. “John, don’t try to blame somebody else.” Then—a brilliant opening of the hood, showing the assembled how the machine really functions. “We offered several friends to ABC,” which didn’t want to hear from them. And finally—it took him a while, but he finally hit on where to take this, which was against the media. “I am tired of the elite media protecting Barack Obama and …” Couldn’t hear the rest. Second standing ovation.

Those were turnaround lines that no one else on that stage could have pulled off, which speaks well of Gingrich in a way, but really poorly of him, which is to say that only a person essentially without conscience could do all that with such brio.

Bless his heart, Rick Santorum got in a few punches, kicks, and scratches -- not to mention the best scowls of the evening, seen repeatedly thanks to CNN's split screen. But he is simply no match for Newt. Michelle Cottle:

(Last night), Rick Santorum repeatedly and loudly cried bullshit on the speaker.

“Grandiosity has never been a problem with Newt Gingrich,” Santorum said of his opponent’s shameless self-promotion. “A month ago, he was saying, ‘Oh, I’m inevitable.’ It was, ‘I’m destined to do it.’”

Of Newt’s electoral braggadocio, Santorum charged, “These are not cogent thoughts.”

Spot on, brother. And yet...

I’ll bet $10,000 that none of Santorum’s attacks tonight will make a lasting impression on anyone who doesn’t already share his concerns.

It’s not really Santorum’s fault. The senator was, even more than usual, passionate, cogent, and earnest in his criticisms. Not to mention accurate.

But there is just something about Senator Sweater Vest that doesn’t resonate, no matter how fired up he gets. It is a matter of presentation: He is too plaintive, too beseeching—even when he’s got both barrels blazing. He is begging rather than commanding us to recognize Gingrich’s many absurdities.

It's just his fine Christian upbringing, I suppose. Not even God and His Earthly minions can save Frothy Mixture now. A smaller mess, easily cleaned up by next week.

Meanwhile, on a vast luxury cruise ship off the coast of Italy...

Mitt Romney still looks the most presidential of the foursome, but his claim of electability is wearing thin. In each successive debate, he reminds me more of Robert Redford in The Candidate. He will say and do whatever it takes, including withholding his tax returns until after he secures the nomination. Newt Gingrich is right when he says if there’s something in Romney’s tax returns that could sink his candidacy, it’s better to know now than after he’s the nominee.

Romney knows that too, which must be why he sputters and looks acutely uncomfortable when pressed to say declaratively when he’ll release his returns, and for how many years.

When asked if he would release twelve years of tax returns, as his father George did when he ran for president in 1968, Mitt said "maybe," and promptly got booed by those in the hall.

(Here's where Greg will send me another comment that says, "It was only a few people who booed...")

Ron Paul was, once more, the septuagenarian in comfortable shoes who got mostly ignored.

At one point, as moderator John King was making his rounds with each of the candidates, he inexplicably skipped over Ron Paul. The choice to skip the Texas congressman was odd given that Dr. Paul is a retired obstetrician and gynecologist. Paul, of course, noted this after a hearty round of boos from the audience.

“John, once again, it’s a medical subject. I’m a doctor!” Paul beamed. “No, I do want to make a couple comments because I can remember the very early years studying obstetrics and I was told — it was before the age of abortion. I was told taking care of a woman that’s pregnant, you have two patients. I think that solves a lot of the problem about, you know, when life begins and all.”

Paul went on to explain his experience with the 1960's culture and that "the morality of the country changed" and "the law followed up."

"When morality changed, it reflects on the laws. The law’s very important. We should have these laws. Law will not correct the basic problem. That’s the morality of the people."

That's a nice straddle between pro-life and pro-choice. Plenty of dog whistles to both sides in that answer.

All four candidates failed their history exams, as usual.

Prediction: Gingrich wins on Saturday, Santorum finishes fourth and quits shortly thereafter, and it's a two-horse race to Florida on January 31st. There are five states that caucus in February, but no primaries that count until Arizona and Michigan on February 28.

I hope this means there will be fewer debates...

Update: Santorum third with 17%, Paul fourth with 13%. It's the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse for at least a couple more weeks, maybe longer. "Hello, Costco? How much is a tractor trailer of Orville Redenbacher's?"

Happy Trails

Our long statewide nightmare is over. Governor MoFo is cuttin' and runnin'.

Rick Perry is expected to drop out later this morning at an 11 a.m. press conference, two sources confirmed to POLITICO. He's also expected to endorse Newt Gingrich, the sources confirmed.

But never without some last bit of drama.

The discord in Perryworld was evident even as the candidate prepared to drop out.

Top officials in Texas said they were unaware of his intentions and as late as this morning said they genuinely didn't know whether he was still running.

Gingrich has been assiduously lobbying Perry officials in recent days, POLITICO has learned. The former House speaker has repeatedly texted Perry manager Joe Allbaugh.

Should we tell him to go on and resign the governorship now? While's in a quittin' kinda mood?

Update: Harvey K with some "first-blush thoughts"...

-- Perry is damaged goods, even in Texas. Recent polling had him in low double digits and in third or fourth place among Republicans in his home state. Although he became a much better candidate at the end, he embarrassed supporters with how little he knew about the national arena and how incapable he was of verbalizing.

-- He leadership team is in tatters. What once looked like a formidable and unstoppable juggernaut now looks like the gang that couldn’t shoot straight. They can regroup, but rehab will be required. Finger pointing and claims of profiteering are already dominating the Capitol bar talk.

My recommendation remains: 'Go get you a nice lobbyist job with a big fat paycheck'.

Update: Via Progress Texas...

Estimates show Governor Perry owes $2,651,429.14 to Texas taxpayers for security-related travel costs incurred during his 160-day presidential run. With $2.47 million in his state account as of December 31, 2011, Governor Perry can immediately pay back 93% of those taxpayer dollars, leaving him with an outstanding taxpayer debt of $179.949.59.

"Hello, Bob and Doylene? Uh, I need one more favor..."

Update II: Before we say goodbye...

Paula Deen, diabetes, and Novo Nordisk

The celebrity chef famous for bacon and egg burgers with donuts as buns, deep fried bacon-wrapped macaroni and cheese balls, and more butter on all of it is a diabetic ... and has been for three years.

After becoming the face of diabetes-inducing cuisine, Food Network personality Paula Deen confirmed on Tuesday's Today show that she has known about having Type 2 diabetes for three years and used the occasion to start pitching diabetes drugs for Novo Nordisk. "I had to figure things out in my own head," Deen told Al Roker, explaining why she only decided to come clean about her metabolic disease now.

 That's right; she waited until this week to announce it publicly ... the same time she announced her sponsorship with a Dutch pharmaceutical company ... whose product is one of the leading treatments for diabetes.

What's wrong with this picture?

Ed. note: Here's my full disclosure. I have been diabetic for eight years, have been taking Victoza for the past year, have lost 50 lbs. mostly as a result of the medication, and haven't taken a dime for anything related to my diabetes from Novo Nordisk or anyone else.

Deen made in the neighborhood of $10 million from her TV show, endorsements and sponsorships (brands such as Philadelphia Cream Cheese and Smithfield Ham) in 2010; consequently New York magazine estimates she earned as much as $30 million since diagnosis while she 'figured things out in her own head'.

There is no word on exactly how much Novo Nordisk is paying her to say she takes Victoza, but this source indicates it's seven figures. Deen is preaching a message of moderation now, though...

"People see me cooking all these wonderful, Southern, fattening recipes... it's for entertainment. People have to be responsible."

Ohhh that's what it's been all this time. Entertainment. Some reactions were harsh.

Hours after Deen broke the news, (Travel Channel's Anthony) Bourdain posted this message on Twitter: "Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later." 

Other reactions were harsher still.

Paolo Lucchesi, the food columnist for Inside Scoop SF was frustrated "that there was not one modicum of regret or culpability for her entire persona and recipe encyclopedia, which is pretty much a butter-lubed bobsled ride to Diabetesville."

Deen has her libertarian 'personal responsibility' defenders, too.

But if Deen’s become rich showing Americans how to consume as much butterfat as possible, is that Deen’s fault? Last time I checked, cooking shows were entertainment -- what social critics call “aspirational” -- not the mandatory curriculum for home ec class. Obesity was a crisis in America long before Deen uttered her first “y’all” before a video camera. How many of Deen’s critics have also spoken out against the cream-enriched legacy of Julia Child, or James Beard -- a man of epic girth who cooked with butter and fistfuls of cheese, and who served as the moon-faced pitchman for Omaha Steaks?

John Birdsall at Chow takes it a step further, too, calling Bourdain's verbal assault not just hypocrisy but class war AND gender war.

Deen, we assume, speaks to a down-market audience who need to be lectured about nutrition and willpower. Bourdain speaks to the well-heeled traveler for whom a foie gras hot dog is an occasional indulgence, not a moral failing. Right? Or is it somehow acceptable for men to engage in extreme eating, while women have an obligation to show restraint?

Is there a moral to this story? Why, yes there is.

"Everything in moderation. Including moderation."

Obama denies KXL's permit; work on pipeline continues

And TransCanada will resubmit their proposal with a new route through Nebraska. Politico:

"This announcement is not a judgment on the merits of the pipeline, but the arbitrary nature of a deadline that prevented the State Department from gathering the information necessary to approve the project and protect the American people,” Obama said in a statement. “I’m disappointed that Republicans in Congress forced this decision, but it does not change my administration’s commitment to American-made energy that creates jobs and reduces our dependence on oil."

Hours before the announcement, environmental groups that consider Keystone a potential ecological disaster were signaling their glee with the expected decision. Meanwhile, congressional Republicans and GOP presidential candidates accused the administration of placating its green allies ahead of creating U.S. jobs.

I had given up any hope of stopping this calamity until about a month ago, when the House TeaBaggers screwed the pooch by including a provision to force a decision in 60 days as part of their capitulation on the payroll tax cut. Honestly, when I think about how blessed Obama has been with the ineptitude of his opposition, I just have to laugh.

And the pipeline may still come to be, Obama in the White House or no. But today's news has to be cheered for those who fought against the powerful, entrenched interests of the oil companies, and won.

The battle to kill this piece of shit for good goes on, however.

Thank you, Lamar Smith.

For assisting Google in getting 4.5 million signatures on their anti-SOPA petition, which in turn chased fellow Congress critters -- even John Cornyn -- away from the legislation in droves; and for instigating a populist uprising against your corporate-owned ass.

Some reactions:

-- From "SOPA Will Take Us Back to the Dark Ages":

I had an epiphany today. The Stop Online Piracy Act, or SOPA, was not written by people who fundamentally misunderstand how the web works. They understand all too well, and want to change it forever.

Behind the almost unreadable (yet truly scary) text of SOPA (and its Senate doppelganger, PIPA, or the Protect Intellectual Property Act) is a desire, likely fueled by powerful media conglomerate backers, to take us all back to the thin-pipe, content-distribution days of 1994

-- And from the douchebag himself...

“It is ironic that a Web site dedicated to providing information is spreading misinformation about the Stop Online Piracy Act,” said SOPA sponsor and chairman of the House Judiciary committee Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Tex.) “The bill will not harm Wikipedia, domestic blogs or social networking sites. This publicity stunt does a disservice to its users by promoting fear instead of facts. Perhaps during the blackout, Internet users can look elsewhere for an accurate definition of online piracy,” he quipped.

-- Who supports this legislation?

The biggest backers of the antipiracy bills are the industries hardest hit by online piracy: the makers of music and movies. The Internet, and the explosion of illegal copying and sharing of music and movie files that came with it, has been economically devastating for Hollywood and recording studios, and they’ve been pushing lawmakers for years to hold Internet platforms more accountable for the illegal content that flows through their servers. The bills are also backed by makers of pharmaceuticals and luxury goods that want to strangle the market for knockoff goods. All told, hundreds of businesses led by (the US Chamber of Commerce) are pushing hard for the bills.

My general rule if that if Rupert Murdoch is in favor of it, it's probably bad for everybody else in the world.

-- The Guardian live-blogged the day.

-- Here's a list of some of the major sites who participated in the blackout.

This site spent the past 12 hours dark in solidarity. Regular posting resumes in a moment.

Debate audience boos Romney's Mexican heritage

I realize it's the usual hypocrisy -- and that it's also South Carolina, where boorishness is home-schooled -- but if SC Republicans actually don't hate legal immigration, why the booing?

During a Fox News debate at the Myrtle Beach Convention Center on Monday, the Republican audience booed loudly after being told that Romney’s father was born in Mexico.

In a report last week, NBC revealed that Romney’s great grandfather, Miles Park Romney, had fled to Mexico with other Mormons to escape persecution for polygamy. Romney’s father, George, was later born in the northern Mexico colony of Colonia Dublan.

At the age of five, George Romney returned to the United States illegally after the Mexican Revolution broke out.

Were they booing Romney being an anchor baby? I doubt they were sophisticated enough to figure that out quickly enough to launch a catcall.

The audience also booed when Gingrich was asked about his "food stamps" remarks recently to a black audience, and then cheered his retort wildly. So obviously nobody reminded them that it was MLK Day. Or something.

South Carolina is breaking strongly for Mitt so this behavior is even more puzzling.

How do these Republicans behave -- what do they say -- when they're at their homes, with each other at their meetings which aren't televised? Worse than this?

I think these debates where they boo gay soldiers, boo the mention of Mexico, cheer for the death penalty and the repeal of child labor laws are something akin to picking one's nose while in traffic: I'm all alone here in the car, no one can see me, I can quickgetthis booger.

I hate to tell you this buddy, but people are watching, and they're disgusted.

MLK Day linkage

Here is a good listing of quotations by Martin Luther King Jr.

Here are five stories about relatively obscure people who stood near King as he gave the speech now called "I Have a Dream", in Washington DC on August 28, 1963, at the culmination of the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom.

Here's a link to the details of the ceremony honoring Dr. King this morning at the recently-opened MLK memorial in the nation's capital. The monument itself has a truncated quotation inscribed on it which misinterprets King's words, and will be replaced with another.

This error may -- or may not -- have a thing to do with the fact that the giant stone was partly carved using imported Chinese slave laborers. I doubt King would have approved.

There are several events in Houston marking King's life today, including two parades this morning. Competing factions of supporters can't agree to march together, it seems.

As Dr. King noted...

All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.

MLK Day Wrangle

The Texas Progressive Alliance honors the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King as it brings you this week's roundup.

Off the Kuff takes a look at Democratic primary races as they now stand in Harris County and elsewhere in Texas.

Refinish69 at Doing My Part for the Left thinks sometimes you just have to say "What the Hell?"

Bay Area Houston says it is time for a Joe Driver law.

CouldBeTrue at South Texas Chisme wants you to know that Vermin Supreme almost beat Rick Perry in Vermont.

The Texas Tea Party had a rally and a straw poll in Houston, a few rich white bigots showed up, and Rick Perry got his ass whipped again. In other words, as PDiddie at Brains and Eggs observes, nothing has really changed for the TeaBaggers.

At TexasKaos, Libby Shaw gets us up to date on who is calling who a vulture capitialist, (or Mr. Pot, meet Mr. Kettle. See her piece: Vulture Capitalist Supporters Perry, Gingrich Demonize Vulture Capitalism.

It's been a little quiet on the issue of transportation funding lately, but that's changed. WCNews at Eye On Williamson posts on the latest polling nonsense about how to pay for new roads, in Here we go again.

Neil at Texas Liberal offered the 5th annual posting of his Martin Luther King reading & reference list. There are 3 new additions for 2012. This list is the best starting point to learn about M.L.K. to be found on the web.

Sunday Funnies

Ron Paul, Ted Cruz win Texas TP straw poll

Ron Paul won a very listless Texas Tea Party straw poll, with 27.9% of 707 in-person votes cast, conducted today at Houston's Minute Maid Park.

Newt Gingrich was second with 23.8%. Rick Santorum, the choice of the College of Protestant Cardinals meeting today in the Sistine Chapel at a cattle ranch in Brenham, was third at 21.2%. Rick Perry finished just out of the money in 4th place with 19.4%. Presumptive GOP nominee Mitt Romney was well back of the pack at 6.6% and Jon Huntsman finished next-to-last at 1.1%, ahead of my selection, Buddy Roemer, who had 0.0.

Paul was even more popular with the 3,332 text voters at 54.4%. The rest of the field changed positions somewhat...

Rick Santorum 15.6%
Rick Perry 13.3%
Newt Gingrich 11.9%
Mitt Romney 4.2%
Jon Huntsman 0.5%
“Buddy” Roemer 0.0%

In the US Senate $75-a-head poll, Ted Cruz walloped David Dewhurst 47.8% to 10.3%. Glenn Addison, the crowd favorite from Thursday night's debate, came in second with 19.9% and Craig James fourth with 9.9%. Cruz also did a little better with the texters, getting 49.1% while Dewhurst slipped to fourth with 7.1% behind James and Addison, who received 12.9 and 12.0 respectively.

Lots of good seats remained available throughout the day.

Attendees and phone voters also got to pick their favorite Congress critters and statehouse senators and representatives. Those results are even less interesting than the ones above and can be found here and here (scroll down).

A riveting lineup of speakers kept the hundred or so Aricept-addled TPers transfixed throughout the day. Breitbart warmed 'em up with a little of his usual crap. "Rock Me Like A" Herman Cain brought some books to sell. Dick Armey pimped his PAC. Update: Both men pimped Mitt Romney, to little avail.

The rest of the talkers were there shilling for 2012 votes; even dipwad Jerry Patterson, not listed on the program, was spotted via stream speaking from the dais at one point.

The conservative local media tried as hard as they could to give the event relevance; alas, they failed. Michael Berry and Matt Patrick of KTRH, Sam Malone and Chris Baker of KSEV, Joe Pags of KPRC, Jon-David Wells of KSKY in Dallas, and Natalie Arceneaux of KNTH made a day of it, to the everlasting chagrin of their program directors. Thank goodness they'll all get a comp day for working on the weekend, giving the market a break from their hate.

All in all, a waste of a beautiful day by our local Tea Party contingent. Just what we've come to expect.

Texas Tea Time this weekend (and more minority reports)

The last time our loudest, whitest, most bigoted friends had a get-together it was at the LaMarque dog track to sing the praises of the Pizza Man. This Saturday they're drawing straws to let Rick Perry win something. Or maybe Ron Paul. Big Daddy Cain will be there again.

Former Texas Congressman Dick Armey, former presidential candidate Herman Cain and the Republican candidates hoping to succeed U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison are among the prominent names scheduled to speak to a weekend gathering of tea partiers at Minute Maid Park.

Sponsored by a coalition of Houston-area tea party groups, the Saddle Up Straw Poll gives attendees the opportunity to express their preferences in the presidential race, congressional races and Texas legislative races. About 1,000 people are expected to attend the two-day event. Voters must have a valid Texas ID.

"The goal is not to steer people towards one candidate or another, or promote only the Texas candidates Perry and Paul, or to promote a 'tea party' candidate, but to host a poll that more likely reflects the actual Republican primary voters," said event spokeswoman Felicia Cravens in a statement on the website Full Metal Patriot.

At least they're no longer pretending to be anything but Republicans. That's a good first step toward self-awareness. Most relevant items needed for this meetup:

Voters must have a valid Texas ID.

...and...

Tickets at the door are $75.

Speaking of Texas Republican Senate candidates:

Major Republican candidates for the U.S. Senate knocked heads Thursday night in a debate that was more lively than the presidential forums that have become a TV mainstay.

Several candidates threw verbal punches at Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst, the frontrunner. The guy in the back in the polls, Magnolia funeral home director Glenn Addison, turned out to be the evening's crowd pleaser, though.

None of the candidates had any immediately apparent campaign-altering gaffes. Most of the jabs were between Dewhurst, Ted Cruz and Tom Leppert, who've been in the race the longest and who were raising significant amounts of money in the last reports. Craig James, the fifth man on stage, got into the race in December — he actually made his formal announcement earlier on the day of the debate — and hasn't yet reported his campaign finances.

Sponsored by Mucous -- because it's cold and flu season, after all -- the race to replace "Texas' most popular politician" is as freaky as you would expect.

James: "I believe in the 2nd Amendment. I've got a pistol and a shotgun between my mattresses." 

A person would certainly need two mattresses if he chose to sleep on a shotgun. More like this...

• Dewhurst opens: Obama trampling on our God-given rights. "I want to go to Washington and cut spending."

• Cruz says he will throw his body in front of a train to stop Obamacare.

• Leppert: A flat tax is an opportunity to expand the base... the tax code has more words than the Holy Bible.

• Addison says he wants to kill the EPA; calls it a "job-killer." Now taking on China and "spineless, wussy senators" who won't react. 

More live-blogging of last night's debate here. Just can't wait for the next one. How about some more stupid and crazy?

Preaching a conservative message is a better way to connect with the growing U.S. Hispanic community than to mention the Republican Party by name, the nation's first Hispanic tea party group president said at an Austin forum on Thursday.

"Whenever the word 'Republican' is used, it was almost like an automatic wall that falls," George Rodriguez, president of the San Antonio Tea Party, said at a conference organized by the conservative Texas Public Policy Foundation. "Yet when we used the word 'conservative,' people were more responsive."

Got that, TeaBags? In order to woo Latinos, don't say 'Republican', say 'conservative'. That's your victory strategy. And don't wear your furry elephant head with the long trunk, wear your white hooded sheet. They'll never recognize you. It's like camoflage.

I wonder if the Tea Party has any plans for Monday? 

Update: There is also a separate straw poll being conducted via text from your cellphone.

In order to help Texans have a voice in the presidential primary process, Saddle Up Texas organizers have created a free text poll to accompany the in-person straw poll at the Saddle Up Texas Straw Poll event this weekend. ...

The poll will also include the same races featured on the ballot for voters at the Saddle Up Texas event. Text options include the U.S. Senate race, U.S. House races, Texas Senate races and Texas House races. Voters will not be charged for voting in the text poll, and will only be allowed to vote using phones with Texas area codes, and may vote only once in each race.

The Saddle Up Texas Straw Poll text option will be available from noon Thursday, January 12th to 2 p.m. Saturday, January 14th. Instructions for voting in the straw poll are available at http://www.saddleuptexaspoll.com/text

I have just cast my ballot. =)

Republicans activate self-destruction sequence

Three-minute version:



28-minute version:



When you have both Newt Gingrich (with a generous assist from his casino billionaire BFF Sheldon Adelson) AND Rick Perry calling Mitt Romney a vulture capitalist, the Republican nominee in 2012 -- be it Romney or "Not" -- is already in quicksand up to his waist.

Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity have both gone on the attack against Governor Oops for using OWS language against the front-runner. Gingrich, in his elegantly duplicitous style, blames Obama for his attacks on Romney. This is the big tent of the GOP collapsing under the weight of its own hypocrisy. An amazing sight, really.

I have mostly been of the mind that that Republicans would start falling in line like they always do, the Not-Romneys re-indoctrinating themselves into a hive mind of Not-Obamas. That, of course, could still happen. Romney's squeaker in Iowa, landslide in New Hampshire, and formidable lead in South Carolina strongly suggest he will be the nominee. But the probability percentage started moving down a week ago as the conservative infighting went public, and as these developments designed to influence Palmetto State voters continue to evolve, the long-term damage is deep and probably mortal. Whomever emerges from this dirigible explosion is simply going to be too wounded to win in November. And the worse it gets for that person, the more likely it is that Obama will coast to re-election -- with the usual conditions of no unforeseen crises (like a war with Iran, for example) or self-inflicted wounds -- and I am more convinced than ever that Ron Paul is going to have a larger say in the matter. Even Jim DeMint thinks so. Paul draws voters from every point on the political spectrum, particularly younger voters and the military. His acolytes see him as the agent of radical change they believe the country is in need of. I still cannot see Dr. No as the GOP nominee but he is Ross Perot-level viable as a third party candidate already.

Frankly though, to me it looks like it's time for party activists with a US Senate election in their state -- or a close contest in the US House -- to start concentrating on those races.

SCOTUS hears arguments about TX redistricting, leaves us guessing

Allow me to cut to the chase: the Texas primary election date (now April 3, previously March 6) is likely going to be shifted to later in the year again.

Well aware that it must act swiftly, the Supreme Court on Monday pondered two simple ways and one considerably more complex way to let Texas go forward with its 2012 elections for state legislature and Congress, but left open the possibility that Texas’ present election calendar might have to be stretched out.  In a 68-minute argument on three redistricting cases from the Lone Star State, the Justices eagerly explored specific solutions to an unusually tangled controversy, and got into the counting of days open for them to act.

The simplest plan was to let Texas do what it wants -- use the redistricting maps its state legislature drew earlier this year, unchanged. But only Justice Antonin Scalia seemed eager to embrace that approach. The next most simple plan, and one that seemed likely to get at least grudging support from the two legal combatants, was to let Texas use any part of its maps that have not been specifically challenged in court, and then require it to bear the burden of proving that the other parts were valid, too, before it can use those parts. It was an idea floated late in the argument by the junior Justice, Elena Kagan.

Justice Anthony Kennedy's idea, ominously predicted here, is to ignore Section 5 of the Voting Rights Act.

Potentially more complex was an idea put forth by Justice Anthony M. Kennedy, to take completely out of this case any consideration of Section 5 of the Voting Rights Act, and confine it to direct questions of what parts of the Texas plan violate Section 2 of that Act, violate the Constitution, or violate one-person/one-vote guarantees. So far, that plan would put the next step up to a federal District Court in San Antonio, whose “interim” maps are under challenge...

What Kennedy appeared to be suggesting was that the San Antonio court — the only lower court whose action so far is now before the Justices — should confine itself to Section 2 and leave the Section 5 dispute to the Washington court. He did concede at one point, however, that there were potential complications with that, because the Washington court also had before it, in addition to Section 5 challenges, some challenges under Section 2 and the Constitution. As Kennedy mused over the thought, he said, almost inaudibly, “That doesn’t work.”

Moving down a little further in the article, there is this:

After several of the Court’s more liberal Justices had said, in questioning Clement, that Section 5 barred Texas from using its legislature’s plans until they had gained clearance in the Washington court, Justice Scalia commented to the federal government’s lawyer that ‘that is not an absolute rule.” Allowing Texas to use its own maps, the Justice said, would be a “reasonable exception to a non-absolute rule” about the priority of Section 5′s clearance requirements. There was no indication that any other Justice picked up on that notion.

While the federal lawyer, Principal Deputy Solicitor General Sri Srinivasan, was making his argument, Justice Kennedy said “the problem with this case” was that the San Antonio court was dealing with “a Section 2 suit,” and yet “Section 5 is driving it.” Section 5, Kennedy went on, puts some states “at a tremendous disadvantage” as they try to defend themselves against a Section 2 lawsuit while they are simultaneously trying to get clearance for their election changes under Section 5. “Why,” Kennedy wondered, “should Section 5 take precedent in a Section 2 suit.”

Kennedy did not seem content with Srinivasan’s suggestion that, when a state was covered by Section 2, “it can’t help but drive” what a court like the San Antonio court can do even though that court had no authority to rule on the Section 5 aspect of a state election plan.

Section 5 of the VRA, also known as pre-clearance by the DOJ of proposed maps by certain states due to their history of voting rights abuses, is eventually going to get struck down by this Court. Perhaps not in this case, perhaps it will only be frayed a bit around the edges, but its day with the executioner is coming. The signs seem clear enough to me, but most on-hand observers -- particularly the ones who are lawyers, unlike me -- seem more upbeat; the only thing coming out of today's hearing that they agree on is that the state's primary elections are probably moving to later in 2012, perhaps May at this point.

That's OK with me; they used to be in May for years before Texas tried to get in the Super Tuesday sweepstakes.

One more thing...

Because the Court has been told that new maps must be in place by February 1, if the presently scheduled April 3 primary is to go forward, the Justices are expected to act quickly, though on no specifically known timetable. It is conceivable that they could issue a fairly brief order, with an explanation to come in a later opinion. Both of the two District Courts involved in the Texas cases have taken that very approach. However, if the outcome the Supreme Court chooses is to include new guidance for the San Antonio court, that presumably could not await the preparation of a later opinion.

And one last thing specific to Section 5 from Harvey Kronberg:

In one of the weekend talking head shows, Attorney General Greg Abbott lead with a core argument in challenging the Voting Rights Act. He said there was a fundamental shift because Texas Republicans were electing Hispanics.

His comments were part of his explanation about the arguments before the United States Supreme Court this afternoon which some see as a possible vehicle for overturning key elements of the VRA.

But General Abbott’s argument was misleading. The Voting Rights Act is less about election outcomes than it is election inputs.

The Voting Rights Act is about enabling African Americans and Latinos to impact the outcome of elections as communities of interest -- not guaranteeing a proportional quota of brown and black faces in a legislative body.

The VRA is intended to prevent the bank shot disenfranchisement of minorities that results by splintering their communities into politically neutered entities.

Harvey is, as always, correct.

Update: Republican lawyer and blogger Robert Miller has his take.

Update II: And some additional insight from HK.

Several justices queried counsel on both sides of the case on whether pushing back the primary date further into the spring or early summer would pose a problem. At one point, Justice Sonia Sotomayor asked Jose Garza, who presented oral arguments for the plaintiffs challenging the Texas maps, a detailed set of questions on how late could a decision be handed down to have a late June primary (my emphasis). The last Presidential primary this year is June 26. After doing some back of the envelope math, they seemed to agree that late March would be the latest possible date for establishing interim maps.

Late March? The primary is currently scheduled for April 3. This part makes no sense to me. And a ray of light:

Many court observers in recent days have speculated on whether Supreme Court justices hostile to the pre-clearance section of the Voting Rights Act would seize on this case to make a further statement on the section’s viability. But Chief Justice John Roberts seemed to take such speculation off the table when he pointedly interrupted Garza to state that the VRA’s constitutionality wasn’t at issue today.

The Weekly Wrangle

The Texas Progressive Alliance thinks that watching football this past weekend -- in particular the Houston Texans' victory over the Cincinnati Bengals -- was a much better use of your time than watching the 388th and 389th Repubican presidential debates. Here's this week's roundup.

Off the Kuff discusses the state's appeal of the injunction granted against the horrible sonogram law.

WCNews at Eye On Williamson posts on the fact that our politics can't be fixed until the money is taken out of our political process: It's the money.

The case against the Texas Republicans' redistricting argument (beginning before the SCOTUS on January 9) rests almost entirely on two generations of legal precedent. And with a Court that has indicated an interest in eviscerating the Voting Rights Act, precedent doesn't mean diddly, either. PDiddie at Brains and Eggs elaborates.

BossKitty at TruthHugger has had enough of the religious bullying by the 2012 Republican presidential candidates, specifically Rick Santorum. Why do we need a Jesus candidate?

At TexasKaos, Libby Shaw explains why Romney's "job creator" lies are, well ... lies. Check it out: Mitt Romney: A Job Killer, Not Creator.

From Bay Area Houston: The Texas Ethics Commission, Jerry Eversole, and the GOP. Texas sized embarrassments.

BlueBloggin sees the consequences of not paying attention when corporate-funded American politicians make it easy to break environmental rules, ruin natural resources and not be held accountable to the human victims.

Neil at Texas Liberal noted a certificate he received in the mail from the Department of Veterans Affairs that noted his recently deceased father's military service. Neil's dad, a Korean War combat veteran, would have been glad that the certificate was signed by Barack Obama and not by a draft-dodging liar like George W. Bush.

Sunday Funnies

This post was almost comprised completely of Rick Santorum quotes as captions for New Yorker cartoons. But after yesterday's takedown, I didn't want you to think that I was being overly harsh on the man.

Rick Santorum on pre-existing conditions

Falling ill because you did "things wrong" seems to be in complete contradiction to what Jesus actually said about pre-existing conditions.

Rick Sanctimonious is really not just the worst kind of Republican or even the worst kind of Christian; he's the worst kind of human being. Because he either willfully ignores the teachings of Jesus for the sake of political expediency, or he's a bald-faced liar and prevaricating ass masquerading as a pious man.

But more importantly this reveals in its purest form the rationale (sic) of the ultra-conservative Christian. If you are healthy God has blessed you because you are a devout Christian, if you are sick God is punishing you for something. In this delusion you may also substitute for healthy/sick the words rich/poor -- this particularly is the gospel of Joel Osteen -- and white/any other skin color, etc. Consequently ... why should I pay more in taxes because you sinned?

Understanding it is really as simple as this: My Faith is Better and Stronger Than ANY Science. This in turn explains their disbelief in evolution, climate change, the Frankenstein-like transformation of women's reproductive choice into "baby-killing", and so on and so forth.  When Pat Robertson says that New Orleans was flooded by a hurricane because God perceived the city as full of sin, that's part of it. When Rick Perry says that the nation is in crisis and the only thing that can save it is thousands of people gathering in a football stadium to simultaneously pray, that's part of it too.

This is plain old Christian Science. Most Christians don't want to admit that.

The worst part is that this is not the kind of thinking that can be improved with education. This is chosen ignorance; a lucid rejection of facts and logic. I'm using the word 'lucid' in its most generous definition (#2, here).

I almost want to avoid exposing this charlatan in the hope that the GOP presents him as their presidential nominee -- almost as much as I do Ron Paul -- but rarely does a man this vile provide such an opportunity to crucify himself with his own words.

Just couldn't let that pass.

Texas redistricting case hinges on legal precedent

The case is as cut and dried as the beef jerky at Buccee's.

The U.S. Supreme Court would have to close its eyes to precedent if it agrees with the state of Texas regarding disputed redistricting maps, a voting rights expert said Thursday.

The court will hear arguments Monday on efforts by the state of Texas to stop interim maps drawn by a federal court in San Antonio. The state wants to use maps drawn by the Republican controlled Legislature, which minority and civil rights groups contend discriminate against minorities.

The legislative-drawn maps have not been cleared by the Department of Justice or, alternatively, by a federal court in the District of Columbia. Because the state’s map has not been pre-cleared, it can’t be used for the 2012 election, said Pamela S. Karlan, co-director of the Supreme Court Litigation Clinic at the Stanford Law School. She also made the short list of candidates to replace Supreme Court Justice David Souter when he retired.

[...]

“This case, as a sheer matter of law, is such a straightforward case under the Supreme Court’s existing precedent,” Karlan said in a conference call with reporters. “It’s pretty clear what they have to do here.”

We already know that this Court has a fondness for disregarding precedent, between Bush v. Gore and Citizens United.

The state’s map also has a serious flaw in the congressional district (No. 23) stretching from south San Antonio into far west Texas. The court struck down the drawing of that district in a 2006 ruling when (Supreme Court Justice Anthony) Kennedy said it denied Latinos an opportunity to elect a candidate of their choice.

An expert witness for the state conceded during a trial last fall that the 23rd Congressional district was not a minority-opportunity district, which the law required.

“This time around the state has gone back and done it again – in exactly the same district,” Karlan said, suggesting the replay could have a powerful effect on the court.

“The Supreme Court, for all the other things it doesn’t like, one of the things they really don’t like is when states disregard the Supreme Court’s own decision,” she said. “And the Supreme Court’s decision was Texas had denied Latinos on the border an opportunity to elect candidates of their choice, and now we see Texas doing it again.”

Let's back up in the article and pull out the specific legal precedent the SCOTUS -- more specifically Justice Kennedy -- would have to overturn:

In a 1991 redistricting case (Clark v. Roemer) Kennedy, writing for a unanimous court*, said: “Section 5 requires States to obtain either judicial or administrative preclearance before implementing a voting change… Failure to obtain either judicial or administrative preclearance 'renders the change unenforceable.'”

Simply stated, the State of Texas, Attorney General Greg Abbott, and his hired gun Paul Clement do not have a case ... unless Anthony Kennedy has changed his mind 180 degrees from Clark v. Roemer twenty years ago. *Note in that link that even Justice Antonin Scalia voted in favor. For many reasons, this one among them, it wouldn't be hard to imagine that either man would reverse himself.

And on the chance that Kennedy has changed his mind, that would represent the epitome of a flip-flopping judicial activist. And the only good thing about that outcome is that we won't have to endure Republicans' cries of agony if Kennedy decides to put on the robe emblazoned "I busted up the Voting Rights Act".

Their confidence in this outcome may have been tipped by Abbott's taking a few days off last week from preparing for the case and rolling up to Iowa to campaign for Governor Oops.

The trial begins Monday and will conclude before the end of the month, with a swift decision expected, possibly by January 31st.

Update: Via Michael Li, from Facebook...

The State of Texas keeps hinting in various courts that there are constitutionality problems with section 5 of the Voting Rights Act (the so-called preclearance provisions). However, in Gov. Perry's Virginia ballot access suit, he argues that Virginia's ballot access rules are not legal because (wait for it) they have not been pre-cleared under the Voting Rights Act.

Republicans in turmoil following Iowa

Frank Luntz, one of the guys who tells the Republican party what to say, do, and think, is scared. And speaking about it publicly indicates how scared he is.

At Ron Paul's caucus night event in Ankeny, Iowa, most of his supporters were celebrating. Paul finished a strong third in Tuesday night's caucuses.

But one man in the crowd -- famed Republican strategist Frank Luntz-- was much more concerned with what happens next.

"I think over the next 24 to 48 hours, the campaign's gonna get a little bit meaner, a little darker, and a little bit more personal, as the candidates now fight for their life," said Luntz, who spoke with NPR in between television appearances Tuesday night.

For Luntz, the lack of a clear GOP front-runner will make for a protracted primary season that could drag on through April. And he says it won't be pretty: "Republicans are not gonna like what's about to happen. ... I think a war is about to break out within this primary field."

The Christian conservative elitists -- James Dobson, Donald Wildmon, Gary Bauer and many of the people who organized Rick Perry's Prayerpalooza in Houston last August -- have called an executive session with God to help them pick between Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum.

A group of movement conservatives has called an emergency meeting in Texas next weekend to find a “consensus” Republican presidential hopeful, POLITICO has learned.

“You and your spouse are cordially invited to a private meeting with national conservative leaders of faith at the ranch of Paul and Nancy Pressler near Brenham, Texas, with the purpose of attempting to unite and to come to a consensus on which Republican presidential candidate or candidates to support, or which not to support,” ...

Following Rick Perry's about-face in spandex yesterday, you have to think he's still under prayerful consideration from the God Squad. It's South Carolina we're talking about, after all. Perry still has $3.5 million to spend, and is just the kind of guy they like in SC. Newt is clearly bitter and wants to take a piece out of Romney. Santorum, the luckiest last man standing before Iowa, is already defensive about his earmarks and his racially-charged statements. Ron Paul is, well, Ron Paul. Nobody in the GOP really cares for the man except for his brainwashed caucus, and it turns out most of them aren't Republicans anyway. He will eventually be excommunicated, but that will take another month or two to finish.

This theory that Mitt Romney loses by winning is plausible. Yesterday the Atlantic made the case, and reading that today you can see how the scenarios have been scrambled again just by Rick Perry's forgetting to drop out (yet). I have no doubt that the folks assembling outside of Houston next weekend convinced Governor Oops to stay in the race long enough for them to figure out what God is telling them.

I need another pallet of popcorn delivered by forklift. How about you?

Spinning class in session

These results can mean anything you want them to mean.

"Thank you Iowa": Those were the first three words of Mitt Romney's planned speech on Tuesday night after the caucuses, according to a photographer who saw the text queued up in the candidate's teleprompter. Minutes before Romney took the stage, his staff took the teleprompter away.

He wanted to claim victory, but couldn't because the outcome was still in doubt (at 11:30 p.m. CT). Mitt eventually did win, however -- by 8 votes out of just over 119,000 cast. Iowa, it turns out, has about three-fourths the electorate of the city of Houston's mayoral contest two months ago.

Considerably less diversity, of course. To say nothing of giving Mayor Parker bragging rights in her own landslide. But back to Cornpocalypse; the media dutifully reported the caucus results with all of the horse race aspects intact ... and as if the results actually meant something of significance.

But Tuesday's close call undermined (Romney's) rise. Even as he earned back much of the vote he won four years ago, Romney failed to grow his base of support, or to elicit much passion from a Republican electorate that has spent much of the last year searching for an alternative candidate.

Perhaps most nerve-wracking for the Romney campaign is that his close finish came even as his GOP rivals largely ignored him in the state, instead training their fire on one another. That free pass won't exist starting Wednesday, as Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum and Ron Paul have all announced plans to aggressively go after Romney's candidacy.

Ah, there he is: Mr. Frothy Mixture, surging from behind.

"Game on," Santorum said as he took the stage at his victory night celebration in Johnston, Iowa.

"What wins in America are bold ideas, sharp contrasts, and a plan that includes everyone," he said. "A plan that includes everyone across the economic spectrum."

Yes, and it nearly won in Iowa also. Too bad the eight Hawkeyes who had the Santorum Salad at the Pizza Ranch in Boone had a bad taste in their mouths and switched their votes to Romney at the last minute. We'll never know for sure.

Ron Paul's close third continues the dilemma for the Greedy Old Pharts.

"This momentum is going to continue. This movement is going to continue, and we're going to continue scoring, just as we did tonight," Paul told cheering supporters at a hotel in a northern suburb of Des Moines. "We will go on. We will raise the money. And I have no doubt about the volunteers. They will be here."

The libertarian-leaning Paul challenged Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum for the top slot in the leadoff nominating contest, cobbling together an enthusiastic and diverse coalition of college students, veterans and tea party activists in a sign of the divided GOP's struggles ahead.

"There were essentially three winners," Paul told the crowd as it chanted "Doctor Paul, Doctor Paul."

At some point Fox is going to have to start mentioning his name. Maybe have him on a show or two. Ask him some questions. You know, acknowledge his existence.

Meanwhile, Newt plots his comeback. And revenge.

Bruised, battered and defiant, Newt Gingrich limped out of Iowa after a fourth-place finish in the state's Republican presidential contest on Tuesday. But he is still alive.

Hit by plummeting poll numbers in recent days, Gingrich is likely now to hold on until the South Carolina primary on January 21 and hope for the backing of conservatives there.

[...]

Gingrich lashed out at Romney, a former Massachusetts governor, who has been linked to some of the toughest attack ads that toppled the former House of Representatives speaker from the top place in the Iowa polls. (He also) blamed SuperPAC fundraising groups linked to Romney and libertarian Ron Paul for the negative TV ads.

"Together I think we survived the biggest onslaught in the history of the Iowa primary," Gingrich said.

"We aren't going to go out and run nasty ads," Gingrich told supporters after it became clear he had won just 13 percent of the Iowa vote.

"But I do reserve the right to tell the truth. And if the truth seems negative, that may be more a comment on (Romney's) record than it is on politics," he said.

"We will have one other great debate and that is whether this party wants a Reagan conservative who helped change Washington in the 1980s ..." Gingrich said.

"Somebody who is into changing Washington or we want a Massachusetts moderate who in fact would be pretty good at managing the decay but has given no evidence in his years in Massachusetts of any ability to change the culture, or change the political structure, or change the government."

One thing is clear; that's more manly talk than than Rick Perry is mumbling.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry said Tuesday that he would head home "to determine whether there is a path forward" for his White House bid after he finished a distant fifth in the Iowa caucuses.

At times pausing to collect his emotions, Perry told supporters that he appreciated their work but that he needed to consider whether there was a viable strategy for him to restart his campaign in South Carolina.

"With the voters' decision tonight in Iowa, I decided to return to Texas, assess the results of tonight's caucus, determine whether there is a path forward for myself in this race," Perry said, his family standing behind him.

Oh come on, Governor Oops. Have Anita whip you up some fresh brains and you'll be alive and stumbling like a zombie again in no time. I hear South Carolina and Florida actually have weather as nice as Galveston this time of year.

Why even Michele Bachmann has bigger balls than you.

"I believe that I am that true conservative who can and who will defeat Barack Obama in 2012," she said. "What we need is a fearless conservative, one with no compromises on their record on spending on health care, on crony capitalism, on defending America, on standing with our ally Israel."

Shortly before Bachmann spoke, her campaign manager suggested she might leave the race. Asked if he could say with certainty whether she would go forward with her candidacy, Bachmann campaign manager Keith Nahigian told The Associated Press in a telephone interview, "I don't know yet."

You may not know yet, Keith, but The Iron Lady does.

"Over the next few days, just be prepared," Bachmann said. "The pundits and the press will again try to pick the nominee based on tonight's results but there are many more chapters to be written on the path to our party's nomination."

Bachmann, it seems, is surrounded by pussies, some current advisers and some former.

“I feel badly for Michele and her team because she has worked very, very hard,” (former campaign manager Ed Rollins) said. “Unfortunately she may have peaked too soon and at the end of the day she didn’t pass the muster that you need to be seen as a credible candidate. I think if she goes on she will go into debt.”

Rollins said that after the Iowa caucuses, Bachmann’s prospects will grow even dimmer.

“I think to a certain extent, there is no way — she has no organization in New Hampshire,” he said. “South Carolina is toughest politics that we play. And you’re going to have Perry and Gingrich and others fight. She would be better to endorse somebody today. She won’t take my counsel but at the end of the day, don’t go in debt.”

Fight on, Crazy Eyes! Fight on! Show Rick Perry and the rest of those liberal rat bastards what "man up" looks like!

I really don't want it to be over. It's been such a thrill ride, these madcap Republicans and their campaign follies. By this time next week we may only have three or four of 'em to kick around some more.

Update: Alas, the Warrior Queen lays down her sword ... but the Head Figure Head Tweets that it's still on for him.

Update II: Transmogrification of Rick Perry into Farouk Shami is complete.

About (10:30 a.m), after Gov. Rick Perry tweeted, "Here we come South Carolina!!!" my editor asked me to try to confirm the Texas governor's apparent reversal of his plans.

I called Perry spokesman Mark Miner. No answer. I then called Perry press person Catherine Frazier. This time, I somehow was connected, though she didn't say hello. I heard Miner telling her, "He tweeted we're going on to South Carolina. Every reporter in the world is calling."

The line then went dead, and in further calling, I could reach neither spokesperson nor Perry adviser Ray Sullivan.

First Weekly Wrangle of 2012

The Texas Progressive Alliance wishes everyone a happy and prosperous New Year as it brings you the first roundup of 2012.

There were two big redistricting stories last week, and both favored the plaintiffs against Texas and its retrogressive maps. The DC Court issued its decision defining preclearance standards, and the Justice Department filed an amicus brief with SCOTUS arguing it should use the interim maps drawn by the San Antonio court. Off the Kuff has the details on each.

BossKitty at TruthHugger can only laugh at what the GOP has put in the store window this election season: 2012 GOP Lineup and Songs From The 1960s.

WCNews at Eye On Williamson weighs in on redistricting and the Voting Rights Act: Texas Redistricting Round Up.

More Dallas wastewater is headed for Houston, as a project to route more of the Trinity River toward the Bayou City moves forward. PDiddie at Brains and Eggs says that he can't wait to pour a tall glass of Metroplex toilet water.

CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme screams to the high heavens that Ron Paul is not a principled man.

Neil at Texas Liberal posted about a longtime musician friend looking to form a new protest band in Cincinnati. It's unlikely that anybody in Texas will be able to join this band. But that's not the point. The point is that we all have talents, and we should work hard to make the best use of our talents in the big political year ahead. Don't just sit around and let somebody else generate content for you to consume.

The Lewisville Texan Journal (formerly WhosPlayin) examined TxDOT right-of-way purchases along the I-35E corridor in Denton County, finding that the state was paying much more for properties than the tax roll values. Denton County's Republican County Judge Mary Horn, who is spearheading the effort to expand the road with toll lanes received $993,000 for an investment property she had, which was 19.7 times more than what it was on the tax rolls for.

Auld Lang Syne Funnies