This Week in Felons

-- I've been remiss in following the trials of the two Enron scoundrels Skilling and Lay. You've got many sources who have been doing the yeoman's task, and I trust you're already aware that the two men have employed the Sergeant Schultz defense, which I believe will be a losing one.

Update (5/2/06): Houstonist summarizes Lay's bipolarity.

-- Karl Rove is on the verge of indictment for perjury. Will he resign if he is, or continue working to repair the GOP's political fortunes for November? I suppose Fitzo de Mayo sounds as good as Fitzmas.

-- Rush Limbaugh made an arrangement to avoid his drug charge. He smiled broadly for his mugshot, as did Tom DeLay. This appears to be an extraordinarily lax penalty: 'stay clean for a year and a half and we'll drop the charges', essentially. Does it seem as if the state of Florida has really lenient narcotics law enforcement -- or does this only apply to Republican addicts?

-- Finally (for the time being), the Republican lobbying mega-scandal seems to have lately taken a sexual turn. Who could the "one person who holds a powerful intelligence post" be?

Porter Goss, CIA director, whoremonger? What's that likely to mean for national security? If you recall, Goss (in refusing to investigate the Plame leak case) said, "Somebody sends me a blue dress and some DNA, I'll have an investigation." So I suppose we can anticipate a potential case made on the basis of hands-on physical evidence.

You know, photos, call logs, credit card transactions, that sort of thing.

Who cares about $3 gas? The Texans drafted WHO!?!

Bob McNair better hope Mario Williams is real good, real fast, or there will be blood in the streets of H-Town, and not over trivial matters such as immigration or the legislature failing to fund public education or even the exorbitant price of gasoline.

Osama ain't got nothin' on Casserly if this turns out bad.

Net Neutrality (and why you should care)

Sean-Paul Kelley has been leading the charge in the battle to keep the Internet wild and free despite the whining of corporate titans like AT&T's Ed Whitacre, who would rather make us all pay dearly for the privilege of using his "pipes".

(A personal shoutout to Big Ed: I just upgraded my service with you despite the fact that you signed off on the most massive invasion of privacy in recorded history. If you keep trying to shaft the entire world, you'll force me to drop my DSL like a bad transmission and encourage all ten of my loyal readers to sign up with Time Warner Cable. Capice?)

Little would have come of this had it not been for five Democrats in the House, two of which sold out extraordinarily cheap: San Antonio's Charlie Gonzales and Houston's Gene Green. Charles Kuffner, as usual, has the best summary and linkage.

Please go and follow them -- his links, and his suggestions.

Some days I think that the Romans really were onto something

It's been a couple of weeks since I last mocked out the Christians, so let's laugh first at what Lisa sent me:

God Hates Shrimp

... and then at one of the archived "Jesus of the Week" features:

You can’t read it at this size, but the little sweetsie cutesie cross-stitched pillow (go here to see it) next to this fine white lady says “Awaiting Christ’s Return.”

Well, turn around and try not to flip off the porch swing! He’s right behind you!

Is there room for two on that bench?

Please take note of the Son of God's perfectly blow-dried, Aqua-Netted coif in the photo linked above. Never in his entire life has Rick Perry had a hair day that good.

And Christ's Commandant has the last word for Shelley Malkin.

Update (4/29): Pete details how the Christian marketing effort has spread into throwback jerseys.