-- I wish I could write satire like this. (Except it's not, of course.)
Seemingly thinking brushing and flossing is for Socialists, Dr. Ben Carson, on the campaign trail in South Carolina, has lost two teeth while in the state.
Carson was eating breakfast at Tommy’s Country Ham House in Greenville, South Carolina, and according to TMZ:
“The good doc stared into his plate, thought for a second then discreetly placed the errant chomper into his shirt pocket.”
via TMZ
At the South Carolina Freedom Summit, Carson joked about losing a couple of his teeth while in the state. He said:
“They said [South Carolina] was a pretty rough-and-tumble place. But I lost two teeth since I’ve been here… This one went out last night, this one went out — but I also had a chance to see two very fine dentists here in South Carolina, so it’s very good.”
via TMZ Is anyone else concerned that his teeth are falling out at such a high rate? That doesn’t seem normal.
Neither does being a brain surgeon who doesn't believe in climate change.
-- Senatah Huckleberry J. Butchmeup will drone you just for thinkin' about hooking up with ISIS.
"If I'm president of the United States and you're thinking about joining al-Qaida or ISIL—anybody thinking about that? I'm not gonna call a judge. I'm gonna call a drone and we're gonna kill you."
He wasn't kidding around, either. Graham doesn't think the Iraq war was a mistake, does want 10,000 troops there. But with regard to extrajudicial assassinations, perhaps Miss Lindsey inadvertently dropped a state secret: can anyone confirm that Lockheed Martin has been working on one of those Pre-Crime time machine thingies?
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie offered a vigorous defense of post-Sept. 11 surveillance tactics on Monday, backing existing programs and calling for an expansion of intelligence-gathering capabilities even as Congress seeks ways to rein in the programs.
Christie, who spent seven years as the U.S. attorney in New Jersey before he was elected governor, said that he had used provisions of the Patriot Act in pursuing terrorists after the Sept. 11 attacks and argued that the country must not weaken its anti-terror and surveillance laws.
"We need to toughen our anti-terror and surveillance laws to give our services the legal mechanisms to do their job," he said in a foreign policy-themed speech.
Last week more than 300 House members voted to end the NSA's bulk phone records collection program and replace it with a system to leave the data with telephone companies and allow the NSA to search the data on a case-by-case basis. The supporters of ending the program include Democrats and Republicans, and even the NSA doesn't object to having private companies store the data.
Independent reviews have found that the bulk collection program did not foil a single terrorist attack.
But Christie slammed those pushing reforms as "intellectual purists" and insisted law-abiding citizens had nothing to fear from the surveillance efforts.
"The vast majority of Americans are not worried about the government listening in on them, because it hasn't happened. They are worried about what happens if we don't catch the bad people who want to harm our country," he said.
Stay tuned for Rick Perry and Donald Trump and Rick Santorum in a couple of weeks, folks. These three clowns were just the warm-up band.
Update: There's always going to be at least one conservative malcontent who doesn't think anybody's got big enough balls to be the commander-in-chief.
Former Defense Secretary Robert Gates, who served under all 44 presidents plus two you don’t know about, told Morning Joe Tuesday morning that the 2016 field so far can suck a foreign policy tailpipe.
“Particularly on the Republican side, most of them have not been in jobs that required them to know anything or be involved in foreign policy,” Gates said. “A couple have been in the Senate two or three years. So my hope is that as the campaigns unfold and as time goes along, they will flush out their views and we’ll see something impressive.”
"Flush out their views". Surely he meant 'flesh'. Otherwise that's so classically Freudian that I wish I had read it at The Onion.
“On the Democratic side, I’m sorry that Secretary Clinton has not come out in favor of the trade agreements,” he added, referring to the Trans-Pacific Partnership currently dividing the Democratic Party.
“And so I -- basically what I’ve said is that I’m not seeing a lot of courage out there and I’m seeing a lot of very simple solutions to very tough problems.”
Still can't believe that Texas Republicans elected a confessed felon the state's top law enforcer.
Ken Paxton earned thousands of dollars by referring his private legal
clients to a financial adviser now accused of “unethical and fraudulent
conduct” by the state, records obtained by The Dallas Morning News show.
Paxton,
now Texas attorney general, did not tell them he was getting paid. He
steered his clients to a financial adviser who had declared bankruptcy
and who now faces losing his state license over questionable business
dealings.
Paxton’s referral agreement with Frederick “Fritz”
Mowery, the head of McKinney-based Mowery Capital Management, has
created a yearlong political and legal headache for the Republican
attorney general. He acknowledged last year, in the middle of his
statewide campaign, that he violated state securities law by failing to
register as an agent for Mowery. He paid a $1,000 administrative fine in
April 2014.
Failing to register can also be a third-degree felony under state
law. Complaints by a watchdog group have led to a Texas Rangers
investigation and appointment of special prosecutors.
Because there's not a Public Integrity Unit in the Travis County DA's office any longer -- because the outside folks in charge will be under enormous political pressure to whitewash it -- Paxton isn't going to be investigated, unless you count the appearance of such as an actual one. This is a similar arrangement to police internal investigations of shootings of unarmed black men. "We investigated ourselves, and found we did nothing wrong."
A Paxton aide said Paxton was unaware of Mowery’s financial trouble and business conduct. Mowery, reached by The News,
deferred to his lawyer, who declined to comment. In court proceedings,
the attorney has acknowledged his client’s mistakes with paperwork and
other matters but said he did not defraud his clients.
Court
transcripts, documents and interviews reveal new details in what started
as a verbal agreement between Paxton and Mowery in 2004. The two
had met serving on a nonprofit board together, and both had offices in a
small building in McKinney. Paxton agreed to send law clients looking
for a financial adviser in Mowery’s direction. If they signed on as
customers, Mowery would split their management fees with Paxton for as
long as they remained clients.
But most of the clients say they
were not told of the fee referral arrangement; nor was the state, as
disclosure regulations require.
Just your basic financial-advisor ripoff.
In a five-day administrative court hearing in early March, the Texas
State Securities Board alleged that Mowery engaged in
misrepresentations, conflicts of interest and breach of fiduciary
duties.
The allegations include that Mowery used a high-cost
brokerage firm for his clients’ equity trades, and also had a separate
business arrangement with that firm that paid him more than $1 million
over seven years. The state contends the arrangement was a conflict of
interest that could have cost his clients thousands of dollars in fees.
The
two judges who heard the case against Mowery are likely to make their
recommendations on sanctions, if any, to the State Securities Board this
summer.
Rick Perry is expected to announce he is running for president of the United States on June 4, less than three weeks from today. Do you think that would be happening if he had any concerns whatsoever about going on trial?
The Texas Progressive Alliance doesn't need hindsight to know that invading Iraq was a tragically stupid decision as it brings you this week's roundupof the best lefty blog posts from last week.
Off the Kuff is pleasantly surprised to hear that the Houston Metropolitan Transit Authority and US Rep. John Culberson have reached an accord in their longstanding feud over funding for light rail in Houston.
Letters from Texas provides a step-by-step guide to using your hypocrisy to justify your bigotry.
Libby Shaw, at Texas Kaos and contributing to Daily Kos, calls it like she sees it when Congress cuts Amtrak's budget within hours of the deadly train wreck outside of Philadelphia last week: Republican Austerity Kills. Literally.
Julian Castro is Hllary Clinton's pick for running mate, according to Henry Cisneros. That suggests a Latino will also be the vice-presidential nominee of the Republicans. PDiddie at Brains and Eggs thinks that might be the most interesting thing that could liven up an otherwise completely predictable 2016 presidential season.
Egberto Willies (happy birthday, dude!) instructs progressives to make the case to Democratic senators that free trade deals impact American lives more than they do corporate bottom lines.
TXSharon at Bluedaze wants Texas Republicans to understand that while they may not mind living next door to a fracking operation... what if it was a strip club instead?
jobsanger lists the lies Texas Republicans want our children to learn.
Dos Centavos wonders if the discussion surrounding the separation of the Harris County jail administration from the sheriff's office is a prelude to privatization.
And here are some posts of interest from other Texas blogs.
Texas Clean Air Matters examines what Tesla's Powerwall home energy storage battery means for Texas.
Better Texas Blog names the least worst way to under-invest in schools, college access and health care systems.
Stephanie Wittels Wachs documents her efforts to get the Legislature to require insurance companies to cover the cost of hearing aids for children under 18.
The Lunch Tray calls self-regulation of kids' food advertising a "doomed effort".
Paradise in Hell warns us that the anti-gay crowd isn't going anywhere.
Joe the Pleb at BOR had a podcast about Blue Bell, barbecue sauce, and some less savory Texas traditions, while the SA Current also reported its horror at Governor Abbott's professed "most important ingredient" of barbecue. Is he really Texan? Has anyone seen his birth certificate?
In a different vein, Bay Area Houston questions Abbott's intestinal fortitude.
The Quintessential Curmudgeon sees some winds of change that blew through Amarillo city hall in this year's municipal elections.
BEYONDBones explains why you should care about endangered species.
The Texas Election Law Blog tracks what has happened to election law-related legislation so far this session.
Last, Fascist Dyke Motors calls in sick -- err, e-mails in sick when she really isn't.
