Sunday Choose Funnies

"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." -- Rush

Texas Republican Douchebags of the Week

First Place, going away: our gloriously good-haired governor and his massive, big-footed flip flops.

-- Had Anita deliver the shiv to Dave Carney, replacing him with Joe Allbaugh, who ran W's successful (sic) 2000 campaign.

-- "It's fun to poke at" President Obama about the long-past-its-expiration-date birth certificate non-issue, but "it's a distractive issue".

-- Needs to spend more time in Iowa romancing voters one-on-one, so he will be appearing in a lot fewer debates. Update: Whoops. No, he won't.

-- That flat tax plan? Not so much. Gotta get off that Confederate license plate thingie, too.

-- Poll numbers sagging into Bachmann territory, he drags the money bag around California. Is more money really going to help this guy now? Oh yeah; it can't hurt any worse.

And this is actually a better week for Rick Perry than he's been having.

Runner-up: Congressman Michael McCaul, who alas won't run for the US Senate. Because the Rich White Guy Caucus is already well enough represented by David Dewhurst and Tom Leppert. Speaking of Dewface...

Show: ...he comes in third by virtue of his carefully following the Rick Perry 2010 campaign lead and making his Senate '12 race all about Obama. 

Fourth (in the money for those holding superfecta tickets): Herman Cain, riding high atop the national polls and cashing in on the strength of his haunting television ad and the Internet meme it has spawned. Earns honorary Texan status by virtue of his rally with the Clear Lake Tea Party, 3000 strong showing up at the dog track in La Marque to see, hear, and buy his book. If he were a real Texan he might have come in first with this effort.

Place your bets for the next Battle of the Douchebags, ladies and gentlemen. Post time in one week.

Is this what they are talking about?

You know, those roughly 50% of Americans who do not vote who say things like 'Republicans and Democrats are all the same'?

The king of natural gas will be dining with the First Lady.

On November 1st, Michelle Obama will headline a fundraiser hosted by the the young billionaire (via a Houston Chronicle blog).

From the piece:

"The super-wealthy hedge fund manager and his wife will introduce Obama to individuals who paid $10,000 for the privilege or couples who paid $15,000."

Arnold manages Centaurus Advisors.

You remember John Arnold, don't you? He founded Centaurus with his Enron bonus from 2001, which was the year before Enron collapsed under the weight of its scams.

Now he and his wife are tackling pension 'reform' (sic) in California.

John D. Arnold, a former Enron Corp. trader in Texas who became a billionaire by buying and selling natural gas, is bankrolling a group supporting changes to limit California’s pension-fund obligations.

Arnold, who formed hedge fund Centaurus Advisors LLC in Houston after leaving Enron, started a foundation that Meredith Simonton, a spokeswoman, said has given $150,000 to the California group.

The organization set up by Arnold and his wife, Laura, a lawyer, plans to be involved in pension-overhaul efforts around the U.S., Simonton said by telephone from Houston. State and local governments confront “massive financial distress” from the gap between assets and promised benefits, she said.

Let's count the six degrees of separation: Michelle Obama, John and Laura Arnold, Enron (Ken Lay, Jeffrey Skilling, Andy Fastow, et.al.), George W. Bush.

Whoops. That's only four.

Anybody still confused about what OWS is all about?

Update: CA Gov. Brown seek sweeping pension rollbacks. It's not just for Wisconsin any more.

Update II: POLITICO's Julie Mason (formerly of the Houston Chron) picks up the story.

An upcoming Houston fundraiser featuring first lady Michelle Obama at the home of a former Enron executive who is part of a movement to convert public pensions to 401(k)-style plans is angering some local Democrats.[...]

Gayle Fallon, president of the Houston Federation of Teachers, called the 401(k) proposal "very frightening for teachers." She noted the nose dive many retirement plans took in the stock market in 2008, saying, "What if I was retired and that happened?"

"My people supported Obama big-time in 2008," Fallon said. "This is not helping." [...]

Art Pronin, a Houston Democratic activist, said, "This just got my dander up."

"Does Obama support converting teacher pensions to 401(k)'s? I doubt it," said Pronin, president of his neighborhood Democratic club. "This is creating a lot of consternation in Democratic circles, and it's going to make it that much harder to get the vote out next year politically."

Local activists, including the Houston chapter of Occupy Wall Street, are considering some kind of protest of the first lady's event. Meanwhile, the local teachers' union is working to educate members about the pension campaign.

"We need street action that will make Wisconsin look like a picnic," Fallon said.

Update III (Monday 10/31): Thanks to Matt B. in the comments for the news on Halloween -- the day before the event -- that the First Lady will not be attending and the fundraiser will be "rescheduled at a later date".