Cold comfort

I'm still not as thrilled as I ought to be about Tuesday's election returns flipping the Congress from red to blue. There's much that is historic about what occurred: 28 House seats, six in the Senate, six new Democratic governors, lots of new faces in state legislatures -- even including the ones I personally know going to Austin in January -- and no incumbent Democrats having lost, provided Rep. William "My freezer is my bank" Jefferson in Louisiana survives his runoff, a hopefully unlikely occurrence. (To that end, I have renamed my ActBlue page "The Jefferson/Bonilla Retirement Fund".)

But Texas, and particularly Houston and surrounding Harris County, built a red levee strong enough to withstand the blue tsunami that washed across the land.

I have a lingering taste of quinine over that.

But the cold comfort part of this posting regards the political epitaph of one Donald Rumsfeld, the architect of military failure in the Middle East, whom President Warmongerer sacrificed on the rubble of his two-year-old political capital just before lunchtime yesterday.

Rumsfeld wasn't just one of the sorriest men Bush brought back to Washington six years ago, he was probably THE sorriest. His contempt for the military -- "people are fungible", "you go to war with the army you have, not the one you wish you had", and on and on like that were verbals displays of it.

The physical display of his contempt can easily be found lying in beds at Walter Reed, and in eternal rest in Arlington National and many more cemeteries around the country.

His contempt for those who who dared question him in the media room at the Pentagon was legendary and obvious. Last week it had moved from "Henny Penny the sky is falling" to "Back off". Well Rummy, this week it's "back your ass out the back door and don't come back". And take that goddamned PNAC manual with you.

And from the Decider-in-Chief last week it was "Rumsfeld will stay until the end of my term"; this week it was "fresh assessment". The president now simply mocks the White House press corps with every lie that falls out of his mouth.

I don't expect a McNamara-like change of heart from old Don in a few years regarding his Iraq/Afghanistan folly. I do expect him to land not on his front porch in a wooden rocking chair but in a plush leather seat in a defense contractor's boardroom, in short order.

Where he can no doubt continue his good work for America.

And don't expect any revealing truths to be told by his replacement, Bob Gates, who as deputy chief spook in Ronald Reagan's government and the top one in Poppy Bush's, kept the dirty details of Iran/contra covered up. Gates has been an efficient trucker of smiling insincerity throughout his life.

When Dick Cheney comes back from his Wyoming hunting trip he'll find another old pal in the Pentagon, one with plenty of secrets to tell but also with a lifetime of of CIA discipline meant to enforce their secrecy. Gates isn't at Defense to win the war on terror; he's there to keep the mess Rumsfeld made safely under wraps from a Democratic congressional investigation.

See, Big Daddy Bush dispatched Gates to Arlington from College Station and his post at Texas A&M where's he's been zealously guarding the Bush library's papers, raising money from Republicans for the university, visiting with Governor MoFo about reigniting the Aggie bonfire tradition and other important tasks like that.

James Baker says he's perfect for the job.

Not really cheery over here

Ugh. Kuffner may be happy, but me? Not so much.

On a night when Democrats nationally seized the House and possibly the Senate, Texas Republicans suffered barely any losses, re-electing incumbents in wide margins.

No statewide offices, no Harris County-wide officeholders were upset -- yet. Oh, Nick Lampson's win is sweet, and so is Ellen Cohen's, and Hubert Vo put old Talmadge out to pasture again. Locally, we may yet pull out a county judgeship (Jim Sharp, Mary Kay Green). Across the Lone Star, our dear friend Valinda Bolton over in Austin is to be heartily congratulated. And a special tip o' the chapeau to the good folks in Hays County, who managed to sweep their trash out.

But for that to be all the change Texans demanded in a year like the last one -- to quote an obnoxious chain of Mexican restaurants -- ees preety pathetic.

Here's some quoteworthies:

"I feel like the Republican Party is not my party anymore," Joan Domek, 75, said after voting in Parma Heights, near Cleveland.

Way to go, lady. I'm glad y'all killed 'em in Ohio. They've dug their little claws into the upholstery down here.

"It's time for a change. That's the buzzword," said Cindy Mushrush, 54, a stay-at-home mom from suburban Columbus.

Not in Deep-In-the-Hearta, honey. Some of us like one-party rule.

On a night that began with promise and after a long day at the polls, we couldn't find parking at Jim Henley's party just down the road from our house, so we went on to see my birthday buddy Barbara Radnofsky. She took a call about 9:30 from someone who told her Chris Bell had already conceded. So we headed over to the Sheraton Brookhollow to drown some sorrows and got encouraged by the national returns. But not nearly enough so.

Governor MoFo now goes back to Austin for a total of ten years (unless the 2008 GOP presidential nominee is stupid enough to give him another job). Kay Bailey Sock Puppet glides back to DC and a seat in the Senate she can have until she dies. Lite Guv Dewhurst might have been the only underperformer on the GOP side of the slate, as Maria Luisa Alvarado held him under 59% (big whoop). Greg Abbott's millions in campaign contributions from the state's largest companies, and the video production department he bought with taxpayer money, enabled him to run TV commercials non-stop for the three weeks before Election Day and swamp my man David. (WFAA-TV in Dallas, the recipient of a good portion of the Attorney General's largesse, sat on the followup to the story they originally aired three years ago regarding Abbott's malfeasance. This is what neofascism looks like, people.)

Judge Bill Moody's endorsements and experience went for 44%+. Our other judicials across Texas came closer, in the high forties. Hank Gilbert fared a few percentage points better than the other statewide executive candidates, at 41.7%. But Valinda Hathcox and Dale Henry, two statewides who had the least money and exposure, actually pulled a little better than most of those upticket Democrats. This left me with the distinct impression that our candidates could have -- in the spirit of the nearly-immortal Gene Kelly -- stayed home and done nothing and fared better.

I'm proud of Texas, how 'bout you?

So then, let me count the ways this pisses ...

1. To the winners go the gloating. Congratulations Chris E and Matty B, your Texas Fascists spent millions of bucks on TV advertising and ran up the score. That caysh bought a lot of political power, leaving the Republicans once again at the mercy of their corporate masters. And now several of them need to start raising money for their next step up, repeating the cycle of money breeding corruption.

Dewhurst for Governor in 2010? or Kay Bailey? or Abbott? Or maybe Mr. Wheelchair Molester Protector for Lt. Governor? Or maybe that's Susan Combs' next rung on the ladder, or Todd Staples.

My God they just reproduce like rats, don't they. Or javelinas in heat (thanks for nothing, Kinky).

2. Harris County remains the belly of the GOP beast in Texas. Dallas is doing better than us. *retch* A lot better.

3. Down in Corpus, the Seaman-Garcia race remains too close to call. That will be a nice victory for Democrats if the current numbers hold. And out in West Texas, Henry Bonilla was forced into a runoff with Ciro Rodriguez (hey, didn't he quit earlier though? I forget). Bonilla may still get kicked out of the US House, and in any event can kiss his Senate dreams goodbye. This contest may yet prove to be a win for redistricting (the court-ordered kind).

4. I'm going to be blogging a lot less about politics here for a good long while. I need a break. OK, a bit more about the future:

5. Where does the Texas Democratic Party go from here? The Dream Team choked in 2002; and when our merry band of populists stood up when no one else would in 2006, they were similarly drummed by the electorate.

Whither Void Richie? He was AWOL during this campaign. I'd like to see who he can recruit to run for office besides himself. I don't think Fred Baron is going to be a candidate. And who's going to take on Senator Box Turtle? Christ, he's not going to get a free pass too, is he Boyd?

OK, I'm going back to bed now. It's time for my nap. Maybe this afternoon I'll go see my massage therapist. This weekend is a big birthday bash for a couple of my friends, and the Veterans Day parade is Saturday. I'll be marching with the Veterans for Peace.

There's a couple more weekends of the Renaissance Festival, and the Civil War Weekend in Hempstead. I'll also be in the Diabetes Walk for Life this month.

And hey, the holidays are coming up; that means Dickens on the Strand, one of my favorite festivals. Fall is the best time of year -- I used to say 'October', but global warming moved it into November. I might even drag the sticks out and go golfing.

But no more politics for awhile. Or maybe I'll just quit worrying about Texas politics. Don't fret; I'll think of something to bitch about.

Off to party now

The wife took tomorrow off, so we're going to be late making the rounds at all these locations.

First stop: Henley, then Radnofsky, then Bell, then the big one at the Sheraton Brookhollow, then the nightcap at the Red Hat with Goodwille.