Sunday Funnies

Walker, Tosa Ranger vs. The Outlaw Jersey Whale

Showdown at the Lambeau-K Corral.  Thanks to capper at Crooks and Liars, and also at Cognitive Dissidence.

In Green Bay, Wisconsin, the wind chill is a biting 30 below zero and there is plenty of snow on the ground. However, as the Green Bay Packers are getting ready to host (and defeat) the Dallas Cowboys this weekend, things are heating up in the smash-mouth political football game known as the 2016 GOP presidential primary.

When the Cowboys come to Lambeau Field, they will be probably bringing along their biggest - and I do mean biggest - fan, Chris Christie, otherwise known as the Outlaw Jersey Whale.

He's paying his own way to the game tomorrow.

But even Bridgegate wasn't enough for Christie's insatiable appetite, so he got himself tied up in yet another scandal, (facing) yet another possible investigation for taking gifts from Cowboys owner, Jerry Jones, after allowing the Port Authority enter into a business relationship with Jones.

But Christie isn't going to be throwing his weight around Green Bay without a challenge. He's going to be on the turf of Scott Walker, Tosa Ranger, aka Desperado.  

Everybody know where the 'Tosa' comes from?  See, it has only a little to do with Chuck Norris (who probably still prefers another governor for president).  Okay then.

Walker is the only governor to be a person of interest in not just one, but two, John Doe investigations. Six of Walker's aides and friends have already been convicted of illegal politicking, embezzling money from a veterans fund and other sordid affairs and more than a score of others have been granted immunity for their testimony. The only reason Walker has escaped the long arm of the law is the millions of dollars of dark money thrown at his legal defense cooperation fund.

Walker, like Christie, thinks he should be president. Or at least the voices in his head that he mistakes for God are telling him he should be governor.

Walker believes this so much that he has rehired a consultant with experience running national campaigns while he is busy explaining that he doesn't really need a college degree to be president, as long as he can follow orders from the Koch Brothers, Sheldon Adelson and the Bradley Foundation.

I'm surprised that Rick Perry hasn't tried to oops his way in on this action, but he's probably busy eating corndogs in Iowa.  It should be a real tough battle on the frozen tundra, especially if Jerrah isn't bringing the refs from last week.

Please, don't anyone tell Walker that the Green Bay Packers are a communist collective, and that the NFL is a socialist enterprise.  We don't want him to choke on his cheddar until after he's eliminated from 2016 presidential contention.