Cheney having heart surgery tomorrow, Bush will briefly be 'President'

Wonkette:

Last Saturday doctors performed surgery on George Bush’s asshole, and this Saturday they’ll do it again! But this time, it’s the other asshole, Dick Cheney. They are going to take apart his robotic pig heart and replace the core reactor.

That’s the Friday News Fun from the White House this afternoon. The procedure is just the latest of so very many operations for Cheney, who has already racked up “four heart attacks, quadruple bypass surgery, two artery-clearing angioplasties and an operation to implant the defibrillator.”

During Bush’s time as “president” tomorrow morning, he is expected to play with his dogs and maybe work on his fort in the back yard.

Overheard this week

“This senator (John Cornyn) decided early on to represent one Texan -- the President of the United States. He has carried George Bush’s brief case. He has not represented the 22 million people that live in the state of Texas."

-- State rep. and LTC Rick Noriega

“I would love to earn Mikal’s support. With his support we have a much better chance of defeating Cornyn.”

-- Noriega, gently suggesting that his potential primary opponent find another statewide office upon which to spend his considerable fortune


"Well, you know, what’s interesting is that there have been all these hearings on the attorney general and yet nobody’s really laid a glove on him. … At this point, we have hundreds of hearings that have produced bupkis."

-- Tony Snow, talking about Alberto Gonzales


“Coming soon to a classroom near you, Al Qaeda!”

-- Alan Colmes, on FOX News

Bill O'Reilly: "(Daily Kos is) like the Ku Klux Klan. It's like the Nazi party."

Stephen Colbert: "Exactly! The Ku Klux Klan and the Nazis were both notorious for allowing people to express unpopular views in an open and free forum. "

-- The Colbert Report

(Bob Costas is a) "little midget man who knows (nothing) about baseball."

-- Barry Bonds, in response to this week's edition of HBO's Costas Now, which discussed Bonds' alleged steroid use

"As anyone can plainly see, I'm 5-6 1/2 and a strapping 150, and unlike some people, I came by all of it naturally."

-- Costas

"How do YOU know?"

-- Bonds, to the reporter who relayed Costas' retort