Showing posts sorted by date for query greg abbott. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query greg abbott. Sort by relevance Show all posts

Sunday, July 13, 2025

'The River Ran Cold as ICE over Biblical Grounds' Funnies


Sometimes the toons just can't be funny given the state of current events. This isn't one of those weeks. The wheels certainly came off for Trump and his cabinet of sycophants, but the gas tank also exploded and the airbags blew up in their faces. And as awful as it has been for Central Texas campers, migrant families, and the Americans who love them, the cartoonists cracked wise at the expense of our hapless, corrupt officials in all the ways they richly deserved.

If you’re brought to tears by images of waterlogged stuffies and want to know who is to blame for the deadly Hill Country floods, Gov. Greg Abbott doesn’t want to hear it. “That's the word choice of losers," Abbott said when asked by a reporter who was responsible for the devastation. As our governor tells it, the July 4th flood was less a preventable tragedy and more a fumbled play under the Friday night lights. “Know this, every football team makes mistakes,” he said. “The losing teams are the ones that try to point out who's to blame.’” So dry those eyes and rub some dirt on it. Coach Abbott is here to focus on results -- just don’t expect him to review the game tape.


Beck has got this. An anthem for Gov. Greg.

The forces of evil in a Bozo nightmare
Ban all the music with a phony gas chamber
'Cause one's got a weasel and the other's got a flag
One's on the pole, shove the other in the bag
With the rerun shows and the cocaine nose job
The daytime crap with the folksinger slop
He hung himself with a guitar string
A slab of turkey neck and it's hangin' from a pigeon wing

Gotta get right if you can't relate
Trade the cash for the beef, for the body, for the hate
And my time is a piece of wax fallin' on a termite
That's chokin' on the splinters

Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(Get crazy with the Cheeze Whiz)

Adam Zyglis drew death threats from MAGA for this one, above.


Kristi the Gnome has proven incapable of doing her job. Clay Jones does a masterful takedown of her shortcomings, but beyond the hilarity of her vacuous incapability is the fact that Texans calling for help in the wake of the flood couldn’t find any.
The City of Angels is under siege from an ICE storm. Brad managed several related toons and even worked Lalo Alcaraz in, but somehow overlooked the travesty in his own barrio.
Who would Jesus deport? Worse question: Who would deport Jesus? Why, Christian conservative Republicans, of course. Zionists would just bomb the concentration camp where He had fled.
King T has decreed that no one shall speak of his former best friend and pedophile, but unlike the files that have *allegedly* gone missing from AG Bondi's desk, that topic isn't going to be censored.
Ken Paxton is getting a D-I-V-O-R-C-E. It's bitter. Not their split; the reaction from MAGA toward state Senator Angela, whom they deem a saboteur of his US Senate bid against John Cornhen. Try to imagine being so radicalized that you think K-Pax becoming USAG would be bad because it makes Corn Dog's path to re-election easier.
And the Texas Lege reconvenes in short order to take up a few pressing concerns, like a bathroom bill, redistricting urban Democrats further out of power, and (maybe) outlawing cannabis gummies. Ban Patrick is undoubtedly stressed out about having to kneel to the Fumbling QB.
Elon seems serious about a third party. I'd settle for a second one.
Ted Rall (commentary, no cartoon):

In this two-party system, a third party should begin by running as a second party. Seventy percent of the 76,902 elections held in the United States are uncontested, meaning that the number of candidates on the ballot is less than or equal to the number of seats up for election. Whether it's for state senate, city council or county coroner, unchallenged incumbents always win.

Seventy-eight percent of law enforcement elections have one candidate on the ballot.

So if reform/progress is still possible via elections -- a tenuous prospect on its best day -- people who care about that need to shift into high gear. You know, as with the climate crisis, building independent media, and a handful of other things.
Two obits, cartoonist Steve Benson and ...
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Sunday, April 27, 2025

"The Grift of the MAGA" Toons


(All apologies to O Henry, whose family home in Austin is a museum hosting the 48th Annual Pun-Off World Championships on May 10.)

Beginning today with the passing of the plate in the Texas Lege as vouchers will soon become law.
“It’s one of the most important votes you’ve ever taken,” Trump told the (statehouse) GOP caucus in a meeting that Governor Greg Abbott had called.

Standing around Abbott, House Republicans listened as Trump rambled on about Texans, freedom, families, and how he would return education policy back to the states. He then promised to back them if they voted for school vouchers: “I’ll be endorsing you. ... Everybody that I endorsed, every single person that I endorsed in the state won.”


There's blame aplenty to pass around, of course. The GOP fascists don't really respond to criticism or mockery as we know, or constitutional rights, as we are now learning.


Personally I fault the enshittification of the Democratic Party, who keep losing to the worst people in the world. But I get particularly angered watching the old sheepdog Bernie Sanders passing his dogwhistle to new hotness fraud AOC. Two hundred and fifty million dollars raised over two cycles and not a dime's worth of change.


So now we're rapidly moving past the point where voting is going to fix this.

Some are blaming the corporate media, and they're certainly a reasonable foil.
Polls are a reflection of an already deeply devolved media environment rife with propaganda, and the more you let them dictate what is acceptable for Democratic leaders to say, the further into authoritarianism we slide.
When even the most liberal pope ever cannot make God's Chosen Genociders feel the slightest guilt or remorse, perhaps it's for the best that the self-destruction of a habitable environment assures a factory reset.
Yeah, coulda been funnier. Too bad.
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Sunday, November 10, 2024

"A Flawless Campaign" Funnies


Somebody's living in a mirrored funhouse.
It's not her fault, it's his fault.

(T)he ritual knives are also out for Biden, who some Democrats,including Harris campaign staffers, are eager to offer up as a sacrifice for the loss. “Biden will hold a lot of blame for it,” a senior unnamed Harris campaign official told CNN. “And frankly, he should.” This is shameful asscovering. Harris ran the worst, most uninspired Democratic presidential campaign since Mondale, but Fritz was more likable and actually tried to offer a slate of policies to counter Reaganism.

What about all that disgusting sexism and misogyny?

Noted diversity expert Joe Scarborough: “Democrats need to be mature and Democrats need to be honest. And they need to say yes, there is misogyny. But it’s not just misogyny from white men! It’s misogyny from Hispanic men! It’s misogyny from Black men who do not want a woman leading them. There might be race issues with Hispanics. They don’t want a Black woman as president of the United States. The Democratic Party likes to Balkanize people into groups and say, oh, white people don’t like women and Blacks. A lot of Hispanic voters have problems with Black candidates! They don’t like each other.”

And then there's those revolting transgenders.

Rep. Tom Suozzi (D-NY, re-elected) says Democrats “have to stop pandering to the far left ...I don’t want to discriminate against anybody, but I don’t think biological boys should be playing in girls’ sports.” I don’t want to discriminate against anyone but them, them, uh, pro-noun people! Rep. Seth Moulton (D-MA, re-elected) also blamed Democratic support for trans rights for their losses: “I have two little girls. I don’t want them getting run over on a playing field by a male or formerly male athlete. But as a Democrat I’m supposed to be afraid to say that.” I wonder if Moulton can contemplate his two little girls getting burned to death in a tent by a US-made bomb?

Moulton's campaign manager resigned on Friday, joining Texas Democratic Party Chairman Gilberto Hinojosa in the unemployment line.


If you’re looking for one anecdote that explains why Harris lost the election, this one is hard to top: According to a piece by Franklin Foer in The Atlantic, Harris’ early attempts at voicing a populist economic message, timid though it was, attacking corporate greed was quickly muted by one of her top economic advisors, her brother-in-law and chief legal officer Tony West, who told her that if she wanted to curry favor with his network of CEOs she’d have to lay off Big Business. So figures like UAW president Shawn Fain were replaced on the campaign trail with the likes of Mark Cuban.

In October, Harris appeared more times with Cuban than Fain and was escorted by Liz Cheney more often than anyone else.

That's not anybody's defintion of a 'flawless campaign' but that's what I keep seeing over and over again. Does anybody who voted for Kamala feel propagandized yet?

Leave it to Mike Ramirez to interpret the election results as Kamala needing more conservatism.
A few distractions, maybe some busy work for those still grieving.
AOC is gonna have to do that Resistance shit again.

I shoud make a more significant acknowledgement of the troubles to come for all of us.

For Texas Democrats, A Lost Decade

The losing streak goes back a lot farther than that (1996); for yours truly it began in 2002 and the founding of this blog, but whatever.

There is a room with three doors. Each bears a label: “Latino Vote”, “Purpling Suburbs”, and “Big City Turnout”. This November, Texas Democrats opened these three doors, and behind all they discovered a Cerberus from Greek mythology with the heads of Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, and Greg Abbott. Then the monster ate them.

That pretty much sums it up, so feel free to stop reading now. But if you insist, I’ll elaborate.
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Sunday, January 28, 2024

"Hague, Schmague" Toons

*Actual quote from Israel's National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir.
Greg Abbott might be having the time of his life. He might also be cruising for an epic bruising. Social media has been both kind and unkind.

Ken Paxton's life, by contrast, is getting a little worse.
What's rough about this next one is that Team Donkey thinks that should be an elephant talking. They just cannot see that all those Republicans who've defected -- who say they're perfectly comfortable in the Democratic Party -- aren't helping them succeed electorally.
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Sunday, July 02, 2023

Supremely Ridiculous Funnies

Joe Biden refuses to step aside in favor of a more electable Democrat.  Now the voters are presented with a choice between him and Donald Trump.  Somehow this is not his fault, but your problem.

There's a lot wrong with the toon above: Greg Abbott looks more like Rick Perry, his name is misspelled on the limousine. Contrast with Clay Jones' below, which gets the receding hairline right and the fish lips perfect.
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Sunday, January 01, 2023

Twenty Twenty-Three Funnies




These toons of course are all from last year.  This year's will appear next week, after some news gets made and the artists react.  The circle of life and all that.

I probably won't be doing much more blogging going forward than I did in the last half of '22.  Uvalde broke me, and the failure of the Texas electorate to hold anyone accountable for it and all the other cruelty demonstrates a profound psychological dysfunction.


Greg Abbott and the rest are still playing 'hold my beer' with the lives and welfare of millions of people, and documenting those atrocities as I have over the past twenty years (my blog-versary was in November, whomp whomp) is beyond me.  The Lone Star State is rotten; filled with too many Christian fascists and entirely too many enablers, grifters, and 'good Germans'.  And I'm not seeing the fighters the Democrats keep calling themselves actually doing anything to slow the evil down, much less stop it.
So Happy New Fear.  More of that on the way; the Texas Lege convenes later this month.  In the meanwhile please be safe, warm, and find some joy outside the political arena.  Or respite, as the case may be.
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