WASHINGTON, D.C. – As the outcry from religious groups intensified following the White House decision to sign its holiday cards “Have a Happy Holidays,” it would appear as though Bible-thumping levels across the nation are approaching near-deafening levels.
Members of the Christian Right are promoting a period of “prolonged Bible-thumping” in the wake of the President's holiday card decision and have moved in for the kill in the self-proclaimed War on Christmas.
This new war has taken precedence over the other, harder-to-spin and much bloodier war in Iraq. Supporters are now arguing that saving impossible-to-prove religious symbolism and rehashed Kerri Underwood Christmas sing-along CDs are more important to the future of humanity than a terrorist-making factory in the Middle East.
“We’ve done near worn out 12 Bibles just this week so it’s a good thing that, as God-fearing Christians, we keep an ample supply by taking the ones from the nightstands at all the hotels we stay at,” said Mary Joe Joe, a Catholic. “And who could not love Christmas trees and presents? It was all in the Bible after all, wasn’t it?”
It would be so much more funny if I didn't actually know people like this.