In Harris County, DA stands for Dumb Ass

A few samples from around the Tubes regarding the escapades of Harris County's district attorney, Chuck Rosenthal:

As district attorney of a county with a population of four million, more than that of several states, Mr. Rosenthal also presides over the country’s busiest capital punishment establishment, which has sent 100 convicted murderers to their deaths since 1976.

Following in the footsteps of former congressman Mark Foley, it seems like Harris County’s District Attorney, Chuck Rosenthal, forgot emails are forever. Especially those emails you send from your County-owned computer. What part of “open records” do you not understand?? What part of “fidelity” and “adultery” do you not understand?

Dumb, Chuck. Really. Dumb.

What makes us want to up chuck, Chuck, are the mash notes emailed to your former mistress and current Executive Assistant, Kerry Stevens, some of which were printed in today’s Houston Chronicle. ...

This statement from Rosenthal:

Recently some Harris County District Attorney inner (sic) office emails have been released in the media.

I understand that I have said some things that have caused pain and difficulty for my family, my coworkers and friends. I deeply regret having said those things. Moreover, I am sorry for the problems I have caused anyone.

I also understand that sometimes things happen for a purpose. This event has served as a wake-up call to me to get my house in order both literally and figuratively.

Romeo, you’d best take your pants to the tailors and get those faulty zippers replaced. Again.

One of our usually reliable sources in Houston said to watch for Chuck’s resignation announcement. While we agree wholeheartedly that he needs to resign because his actions reflect his lack of personal integrity which; therefore, reflects poorly upon the integrity of his DA’s office, we’ll wait and see. We’re five days away from the filing deadline.

Five days can be an awfully loooong time in Texas politics.

"nonewsisgoodnews", commenting on the story at the Chron:

Why is anyone surprised Rosenthal put his (former???) girlfriend on the public payroll at about double the going rate for her "official" duties? This is the same guy that went to the jail to interview a defendant by claiming he was a defense attorney. The same guy who invited an attorney to bring his client to his office for a "private" meeting, and then planted a "bug" in a clock so that he could listen in to private discussions between the attorney and his client.

His biggest claim to fame was that when the federal building in Oklahoma City was blown up, he celebrated by getting drunk at his desk, and then set off firecrackers in the District Attorney's building. He had a heck of a laugh as terrified prosecutors scrambled down the stairwells in fear of their lives.

But, he is immune to critics. He goes to all Republican party gatherings with a bracelet that says "WWJD"...What Would Jesus Do?" Among the Republican faithful, that bracelet means you are free to do what ever you want.

And finally the translated statement from Rosenthal, courtesy Bay Area John:

Recently some Harris County District Attorney inner office emails have been released in the media. It makes me look like a hypocrite which lately is not hard to do in the Republican party.

I understand that I have said some things that have caused pain and difficulty for my family, like writing an email that said I wanted to kiss my secretary behind her right ear when in fact her left ear is just as luscious. Or wanting to caress her firm supple breasteses. (Ok I didnt write that, but I did think it) I deeply regret having said those things although I had quite a woody when I did.

I also understand that sometimes things happen for a purpose. Maybe this will encourage my wife to leave my sorry ass, or for the Harris County Republican Party to denounce my adulterous behavior and demand my resignation. But I am not going to hold my breath since Jared Woodfill is a big wuss and won't do diddly squat. In fact maybe Jared should resign.

This event should serve as a wake-up call to the voters of Harris County concerning the lack of ethics, intelligence, and Christian family values of the Gross Old hyPocrite party.

Charles "The Horny and Incredibly Stupid" Rosenthal
Soon to be Former Harris County District Attorney

Terrified Huckabee demands immediate border wall construction

The only thing faster than Huck's rise in the polls has been his remarkable talent for shooting himself in the foot:

Mike Huckabee used the volatile situation in Pakistan Friday to make an argument for building a fence on the American border with Mexico and found himself trying to explain a series of remarks about Pakistanis and their nation.

On Thursday night he told reporters in Orlando, Fla.: “We ought to have an immediate, very clear monitoring of our borders and particularly to make sure if there’s any unusual activity of Pakistanis coming into the country.”

Yes, that's exactly what 'we' ought to do, Mike. Double-check the IDs and nationality of every single one of those "illegals" pouring over the border.

On Friday, in Pella, Iowa, he expanded on those remarks.

“When I say single them out I am making the observation that we have more Pakistani illegals coming across our border than all other nationalities except those immediately south of the border,” he told reporters in Pella. “And in light of what is happening in Pakistan it ought to give us pause as to why are so many illegals coming across these borders.”

Wrong again, Huckster:

In fact, far more illegal immigrants come from the Philippines, Korea, China and Vietnam, according to recent estimates from the Department of Homeland Security.

Asked how a border fence would help keep out Pakistani immigrants, Mr. Huckabee argued that airplane security was already strong, but that security at the southern United States border was dangerously weak.

“The fact is that the immigration issue is not so much about people coming to pick lettuce or make beds, it’s about someone coming with a shoulder-fired missile,” he said.

Obviously 'we' had better to go to Orange Alert.

This flip-flop on immigration (coincidentally coming in the wake of Tom Tancredo's withdrawal) surprises and disappoints a LULAC official who once worked with Huck:

Hispanic activists in Arkansas who viewed former Gov. Mike Huckabee as a voice of moderation on illegal immigration say they've been taken aback by the hard-line stance he's adopted.

While governor, Huckabee gained favor with Hispanic leaders by denouncing a high-profile federal immigration raid and suggesting some anti-illegal immigration measures were driven by racism. He advocated making children of illegal immigrants eligible for college scholarships.

Huckabee's Republican presidential rivals have tried to make an issue of the scholarship plan, portraying him as soft on illegal immigration. Huckabee responded this month by unveiling a plan to seal the Mexican border, hire more agents to patrol it and make illegal immigrants go home before they could apply to return to this country.

"He's trying to be tougher on immigration than we've ever seen him before," said Carlos Cervantes, the Arkansas director of the League of United Latin American Citizens. " ... I don't see that he's willing to work with us now."

And also underscores a number of Hucko's embarrassing gaffes (including this hilarious "eastern borders with Afghanistan" mistake):

The sudden emergency in Pakistan and Huckabee’s response come at a time when he has come under increasing scrutiny from opponents for his lack of fluency in foreign policy issues, and the situation in Pakistan appeared to have challenged him.

“We have seen what happens in the Musharraf government,” Huckabee said on MSNBC. “He has told us he does not have enough control of those eastern borders near Afghanistan to be able go after the terrorists. But on the other hand, did he not want us going in, so what do we do?” Those borders are actually on the west, not the east.

Further, he offered an Orlando crowd his “apologies for what has happened in Pakistan.” His aides said later that he meant to say “sympathies.” He also said he was worried about martial law “continuing” in Pakistan, although Musharraf lifted the state of emergency on Dec. 15. His campaign told CBS News that his statement was not a blunder.

Stace awards Huck the Tancrazy. I heartily concur.

Update (12/29): Lone Star Times, my favorite right-wing blog -- seriously -- has more on Huck's foibles that include John Bolton and Condi Rice having to straighten him out.

The hate never takes a break

... not even on Christmas:

-- "I'm a racist POS, so are all my commenters, and we lovin' every minute of it"

-- "Schadenfreude San Fran Style". An excerpt:

San Francisco, like many libtard outposts, has made it extremely difficult for large chain stores to operate in the city. Libtards think that they must put up barriers to successful businesses, in order to protect "Mom and Pop" businesses from actually having to compete in the marketplace. Well, this Christmas, the chickens came home to roost. Seems that San Franciscoans are having a hard time finding the popular toys this season, because none of the Mom and Pop stores carry them.

"San Franciscoans"? If the link wasn't broken we might be able to understand what this goon is trying to say. On the other hand, maybe not.

Some people need to recognize when they are just too stupid to blog. This is one of those people.

-- Still fighting the War on Christmas, even on Christmas. Maybe he's getting a jump on next year.

-- This poor fool consistently demonstrates the most twisted logic on the InnerTubes. Christmas Day's sample:

Evan's (sic) argument makes no sense. You can't even apply for welfare without an ID. So why would voting "skew" against Democrats. There is only one good reason. It skews against voter fraud and Democrats think they need it to succeed at the ballot box. The idea that requiring an ID would stop a valid voter is absurd and preposterous. It starts with the ludicrous premise that requiring an ID is exclusionary. There is no credible evidence that it is. To the extent that it might be, the laws permit affidavits. Anybody can get an ID card, even terrorist. The requirement just makes it inconvenient to vote more than once are vote for someone else without going to extra trouble. The only reason to oppose voter IDs is to facilitate election fraud.

A conclusion reached on the forests of evidence completely the opposite of all the experts (sort of like global warming, the casus belli for Iraq, etc.). No wonder this fellow is a "former general counsel". Between his active retirement building furniture and studying military history, Merv finds time for twenty posts a day, sampling the worst the Right has to offer and making observations of the pretzel logic variety. Occasional entertainment, mostly dross.

-- The most consistently noxious local rightie posted this frothing diatribe two days before Christmas (so we should be thankful he was able to empty his spleen on the Lord's day):

It seems the only thing the left despises more than Soldiers is Christians. So I can see why this picture would drive them insane.

Previously challenged Ezra Klein to a fight, also called out Rick Noriega for his Gold Star award (a theme initiated by this conservative blogger, and similarly rebuked in his comments). Those were actually two of Rob's least vile posts. He elicits considerably more in the way of mocking laughter than he does outrage, which likely makes him even more bitter.

Well, that's all the gall my bladder can process for a while. We're off to Lose-iana for a couple of days to watch the ponies and arm the bandits. Play nicely with your toys and don't bother Mommy and Daddy while they worry about how all this Christmas is going to be paid for.

Season's Greetings

Because Jesus never rode an elephant.

Back with a year-end Wrangle sometime after Christmas.