Sunday Funnies

PerryCare, not peri-care

In the wake of her disastrous attempt to score a political point on Rick Perry's Gardasil problem in this past week's Republican presidential candidates debate, Michele Bachmann is now referring to a government official's interference in the occasionally difficult medical decisions people must make as "PerryCare".

"Whether it's Obamacare or Perrycare, I oppose any governor or president who mandates a family's health care choices, and in turn, violates the rights of parents on these issues ..."

Forget for a moment the conflation of disparate issues. Ignore Bachmann's stark contradictions associated with this statement and her virulently anti-choice view. Overlook the redux of fear-mongering we last saw in the discussion regarding 'death panels' and that nonsense.

Bachmann might be onto something, however unwittingly, with PerryCare and its phonetical twin, peri-care.

I'm certain she has no idea that peri-care (short for perineal care) is ...

... the washing of the genital and rectal areas of the body. Perineal care should be done at least one time a day during the bed bath, shower, or tub bath. It is done more often when a client is incontinent. Perineal care prevents infection, odors and irritation.

Perineal care is done when a patient has a urinary catheter in place. It is also done when the client does not have a urinary catheter. Perineal care is done differently for men and women.

The link gets more specific about how the procedure is specifically performed for men and for women.

If any of you have cared for an elderly parent or an incapacitated person then you might already be familiar with peri-care, usually (thankfully) performed by home health aides when a person is confined to bed at home and by nurses and nurse's aides in hospitals, nursing homes, etc.

So my first response was: 'It makes perfect sense that both PerryCare and peri-care are close to an asshole'.

I think this could quite possibly develop into a meme. "PerryCare: when you care enough to do the very best for your loved ones."

"Under PerryCare, Texans are getting their clocks cleaned. And that's not all."

"Without PerryCare, we'd have been in a world of shit."

"PerryCare covers my entire family. And when I say 'covered' and 'entire', I mean it."

Do you have a similar campaign slogan for 'PerryCare'?

Update: In related news, Bachmann reinvigorates her continuing quest to out-"side of life" Rick Perry ...

“We must respect every life, even those yet to even be created. If we don’t give them the hope of becoming an embryo, we are letting down future generations of American citizens.”

"Screweth thou, every man for himself, lest ye be socialist"

Last week they cheered the execution record of Rick Perry; this week it was poor sick uninsured people.

When debate moderator Wolf Blitzer brought up a hypothetical young, uninsured American in a coma, he asked, “Are you saying society should just let him die?” and the tea party crowd cheered, some shouting, “Yes!”

So much for that compassionate conservative shit. Ron Paul's got a better idea, though.

“The churches took care of ‘em. We never turned anybody away from the hospitals,” he said, suggesting that society seems to have given up on people assuming responsibility for themselves: “Our neighbors, friends, churches would do it.”

But if your neighbors are Tea Partiers, you better just die quickly.

Update: Geoff Berg of Partisan Gridlock expands ...

This all probably came as quite a surprise to Michael Schiavo. You might recall that multiple courts found that his wife, Terri, (who had been in a vegetative state in a hospital in Florida for several years) should be allowed to die a natural death in accordance with her wishes.

In response, the Republican Congress passed and President Bush signed a law written just for her. Tom Delay hailed it as a legislative achievement honoring the sanctity of life. People who’d read the Constitution observed that it was “demonstrably at odds with our founding fathers’ blueprint for the governance of a free people.”

Barack Obama believes society has an obligation to provide health care to Blitzer’s hypothetical sick thirty year old. That, of course, makes him a crusading big government socialist Kenyan America-hater, obviously.

The freedom-loving Constitutional scholars who yelled “Yeah!” at the prospect of allowing uninsured sick people to wither into dust clearly disagree with the president. Tea party bigshot Senator Jim DeMint agrees with the pro-death to the uninsured delegation. He says “health care is a privilege. I wouldn’t call it a right.”

So to sum up: Republicans believe health care is a privilege. Choose not to buy insurance and you can die (or ask your HMO if it’d be interested in trading medical services for live poultry). On the other hand, if you’re desperately ill, have insurance and are being cared for in a hospital, there’s a good chance a conservative member of the Senate will challenge your diagnosis because of something he sees on tv, then pass a law so that your wishes can’t be carried out.

All I want to see tonight in the Teapublican debate is

... Ron Paul and Rick Perry get into a fistfight. With that in mind ...



Go Ron Paul. LMAO

The Weekly Wrangle

The Texas Progressive Alliance joins the rest of the country in honoring our first responders as it brings you this week's roundup.

Off the Kuff discusses how many votes it will take to have a shot at winning citywide office in Houston this year.

Eric "Illegal Signs" Dick gets nailed to a utility pole the wall once more, and PDiddie at Brains and Eggs laughs and points.

Bay Area Houston notices that a new flavor of ice cream has been created for the Tea Party: Schweddy Balls.

Don't use 9/11 to promote Bush or Cheney. CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme is appalled at the thought that anyone would give them credit for good actions.

Neil at Texas Liberal made note of his growing appreciation for Rick Perry. With his lack of second-guessing over all the people who have been executed while he has been governor, at least Mr. Perry embraces our culture of violence and death with open arms. The governor of Texas offers voters a clear choice. We'll see what people want in 2012 and we'll move ahead from that point.

WCNews at Eye On Williamson demonstartes that a picture is worth a thousand words: Perry/Texas GOP budget cuts already proving costly for Texas.

At TexasKaos, lightseeker ponders the relationship between Rick Perry, Wildfires and Cultism. Give it a read.

Did you watch the Republican debate last week? So did McBlogger...

Nation Would Rather Think About 9/11 Than Anything From Subsequent 10 Years

The Onion, in a searing bit of irony that transforms into reality before our eyes.

As media coverage of the 10th anniversary of 9/11 ramps up this week, citizens across the United States collectively realized they would rather think about the terrorist attacks of 2001 than about anything else that has transpired in the subsequent decade.

"The events of Sept. 11 were unspeakably tragic, but really, when you think about it, things have only grown more horrible and unbearable since then," said Phyllis Bennett of San Jose, CA, who considered 9/11 a notably less unpleasant topic than the Iraq War, the worldwide financial meltdown, Hurricane Katrina, the nation's debt burden, the deaths of 6,200 U.S. troops, China's rise into a global superpower, the housing market, relentless partisan bickering, millions of job losses, the war in Afghanistan, nuclear proliferation, unchecked climate change, declining household income, swine flu, or the 9/11 Truth movement.

"That was an awful day for America, but at least the nation came together and people actually seemed to care about one another. Just compare that to now, Jesus Christ."

While stating they felt "kind of terrible" about it, Americans expressed a longing to return to those "better days" of shared national agony in September 2001, when everybody truly believed things couldn't get any worse.

Of course if you would prefer to be consumed by grief and horror on this day, then go ahead and read this. Personally I was only able to read a few paragraphs in before becoming too nauseous to continue.

And if you would rather be reminded of the actions of one of 9/11's biggest heroes, Rick Rescorla, then by all means read his story. And be sure to click on the links embedded there.