Sunday Funnies (early edition)

And starring Scooter Libby as Paris Hilton

The Wonkette, via Editor and Publisher. Schadenfreude levels are dangerously elevated:

WASHINGTON (AP) — Screaming and crying, Irve “Scooter” Libby was escorted out of a courtroom and back to jail Friday after a judge ruled that he must serve out his entire 30-month sentence behind bars rather than in his home.

“It’s not right!” shouted the weeping Libby, who was convicted of four felonies in a reckless spy-outing case. “Mom!” he called out to Dick Cheney in the audience.

Libby, who was brought to court in handcuffs in a sheriff’s car, came into the courtroom disheveled and weeping, hair askew, sans makeup, wearing a gray fuzzy sweat shirt over slacks.

He cried throughout the hearing, his body shook constantly and he dabbed at his eyes. Several times he turned to James Carville and Mary Matalin, seated behind him in the courtroom, and mouthed, “I love you.”

Federal District Court Judge Reggie B. Walton was calm but apparently irked by the morning’s developments.

“I at no time condoned the actions of the Dick Cheney and at no time told him I approved the actions,” he said of the decision to pardon Libby after three days.

Really though: why should Scooter receive a presidential pardon? Has he ever gone down on anyone in a bootleg Internet video or flashed his kootchie to the paparazzi?

"I am so wasted"

Today this blog received about seven times its usual traffic because a poster at Daily Kos noted that Bush was drinking again, and linked to this earlier evidence of European alcohol abuse.

Update: It's worth noting that the Telegraph reported that Bush spent twelve hours in his hotel room with a stomach ailment the day after these pictures were taken.

When even surfermag.com is getting in on the action, you know your president is a failure. Why are we not impeaching this fool again?

You are invited to add your own caption in the comments.

Update II (6/9): Pensito Review has more ...

Even if there was video of Bush puking in the bushes in Germany yesterday, the White House would never admit that the president got drunk and then was sidelined from the conference today because he over-indulged. It’s a moot point in any case because even if the media types who cover the president saw evidence that he’d been drinking, they would not dare to ask if it were true.

Chronicle's readers admit to hiring undocumented workers

Farmerjones wrote:

Sadly, this is just a result of many of the stupid laws we have in place right now. I hire "wetbacks" because they will work...if they don't work I can get rid of them and not worry about being sued for discrimination. If they do work, I pay them and treat them quite well. I would prefer to hire US citizens, but I need them to work and not cry about how they are victums and how much they are owed.

minniemax wrote:

Want to talk about cheap labor?? You go try to hire someone off one of those street corners. Tell them you're looking for someone to work for less than $10 an hour, and watch them walk away laughing. I know what I'm talking about because I've done just that...

These are but two recent examples of Houston Chronicle posters to news stories freely admitting that they're hiring or attempting to hire undocumented immigrant labor.

That is against the law, isn't it?

It's a unique strain of chronic conservatism that runs rampant here; people who type on the daily newspaper's website about the "scourge of illegal aliens", that they ought to be "rounded up" and so on are, when they're not at their computers, out driving down North Sheperd in their pickup trucks trying to hire a few unauthorized laborers to do their odd jobs for five dollars an hour.

As they have said so many times themselves: what part of "illegal" do they not understand?

Clue to you, goonbats: if you're hiring an undocumented worker, you're part of your immigration "problem".

You might want to stop that. You might want to stop hiring them to do your lawn or clean out your garage or look after your children -- or your parents. In fact, just stop eating at your favorite Mexican food restaurant, because the person cooking -- or serving -- your food, or bussing your table might not have papers. In fact, it's possible none of them do.

And you just wouldn't want to support all of this "illegal" activity with your dollars, would you?

Morons.

We're going to StopCornyn.com

If it's the last thing we ever do.

John Cornyn, the junior Senator from the Great State, has been the epitome of bad representation in Washington during the past six years. He was elected in the first Bush red tide of 2000, getting a promotion from Texas Attorney General.

I wrote to him earlier that year, asking him to kindly give back the contributions he received from the Enron Corporation (some of us may recall the implosion of the World's Leading Energy Company that same year). One of Cornyn's lickspittles wrote me back to tell me that Cornyn never took money from Enron for his Senate campaign. Well, that was accurate; he took money from them for his attorney general race. I wrote back to say that I thought it was quite disingenuous to make that statement, and that if this was the kind of forthrightness Texans had to look forward to that we would be better off without him in DC.

That was the last time I ever got a written response from the Senator's office, and I have probably written, e-mailed, and faxed him over one hundred times since.

Since then John Cornyn has spoken eloquently -- even lovingly -- about torture, about inter-species relationships, and about his relationship with Our Leader, George W Bush. Cornyn, a former Texas Supreme Court Justice, casually mused that physical violence against the judicial branch is just an unfortunate consequence of their unaccountability to the public. As attorney general he gave an award to the law officer who participated in the Tulia drug bust, now discredited as a racial frame-up.

Among the many insipid things he has said, this one is classic:

"None of your civil liberties matter much after you’re dead."

Six years is long enough to endure this man's crap. To that end, a merry band of bloggers has launched StopCornyn.com, dedicated to the retirement from elective office of this abomination. We'll use it to chronicle the coverage of the final months of his tenure, to support the person(s) who stand up to challenge him, and to laud the champion of the people who will end this darkness.

You're welcome to join us in this quest, if only just to read along.

Melissa Monday, on Thursday

To say I have been remiss in reminding my six loyal readers, four of whom live in Houston, to vote for Melissa Noriega for Houston City Council is, as the title implies, an understatement.

So join me and Kuff and Stace at an early polling location today through June 12th to cast your vote for Houston's next exemplary councilwoman.



If you'd like to do more than just vote, contact the campaign office for phone lists to call voters. info@melissanoriega.com or 713-MELISSA (635-4772). They are easy calls to make, and they are to Democrats, so the reaction is usually "thanks for the reminder" or "I thought she already won!" They'll send a script along with the names.

Polling locations will be condensed to a greater degree on Election Day, June 16th from what they were on May 12th due to the anticipated low turnout. It's going to be confusing as to where to vote, so get it out of the way early.

Block walking will be conducted this Saturday and next Saturday (election day) from 9 a.m until 1 p.m. It breaks down like so:

-- Arrive at headquarters, 7401 Gulf Freeway 77017, at 9 a.m. for donuts, training and to pick up supplies
-- Out at your block walk location at 10 a.m.
-- Back to HQ by 1 p.m. with your completed lists

Once we complete the process of getting Melissa elected, we can turn our attention to getting her husband to run for the Senate.