Sunday Funnies

“President Obama’s inaugural parade (featured) eight floats, including a Hawaii float to honor his birthplace, an Illinois float to honor the first lady’s home state, and a Kenyan float just to mess with Republicans.”

-- Jimmy Fallon

"Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant on Wednesday asked state legislatures to declare President Obama's new gun control proposals 'illegal.' Though I'm not sure if the Mississippi state legislature has that kind of power since it's just thirty hissing possums in a barn." 

-- Seth Meyers

Speaking of torture...

"Yes, lip-gate. Beyonce-gate. The crisis in Lip-ya. Beyonc-gazi ... If Beyonce lip-synced at Obama's inaugural, do you know what that means? If so, please write in because I'd love to know why I'm so angry!"

-- Stephen Colbert

"Rick Perry said Obama's suggestions for gun control disgust him. He said the real answer to this problem isn't laws, it's prayer. I know you're not supposed to say this about elected officials, but I would pay to see Rick Perry defend himself against a school shooter with prayer." 

-- Bill Maher

 "I guess that's just a crazy fantasy, Rick Perry in a school." 

-- Bill Maher

Results for SD-6 *updates*

7:20 pm: Here are the candidate tallies for the early voting period of the Senate District 6 special election today, as reported at last by the Harris County Clerk.

Sylvia Garcia - 49.19%
Carol Alvarado - 41.65
RW Bray - 3.8
Dorothy Olmos - 1.77
Rodolfo 'Rudy' Reyes - 0.72
Joaquin Martinez - 2.25
Susan Delgado - 0.29
Maria Selva - 0.34

The only question is whether Garcia can avoid a runoff. This was her stated intention, going all the way back at least as far as our blogger's luncheon in December.

Update:

If a runoff election is necessary, when it occurs would depend heavily on what Gov. Rick Perry decides. Harris County elections officials have 10 days to canvass Election Day results, while Perry’s office has 14, according to the Secretary of State. The governor’s canvass can’t take place until the county finishes its canvass, and the governor has five days after his canvass to order the runoff election. The runoff would have to be set on a date between the 12^th and 25^th day after Perry ordered it, and it must take place on a Tuesday or a Saturday.

Update (8:05 pm): With another 1200 votes counted, a runoff looks more likely.

Sylvia Garcia - 47.87%
Carol Alvarado - 42.08
RW Bray - 4.45
Dorothy Olmos - 1.96
Rodolfo 'Rudy' Reyes - 0.73
Joaquin Martinez - 2.27
Susan Delgado - 0.29
Maria Selva - 0.35

Update (8:30 pm): With 79% of precincts in --178 of 226 -- and 14,419 votes counted, the race tightens slightly again. About 650 votes separate the top two.

Sylvia Garcia - 45.99%
Carol Alvarado - 41.9
RW Bray - 5.74
Dorothy Olmos - 2.74
Rodolfo 'Rudy' Reyes - 0.83
Joaquin Martinez - 2.44
Susan Delgado - 0.28
Maria Selva - 0.43

Update (8:45 pm): One of the nice things about exceptionally low turnout is an early bedtime for the politicos. 94% of precincts, just under 16,000 votes, and the outcome is all but determined: a runoff between Garcia and Alvarado.

Sylvia Garcia -   45.51%
Carol Alvarado - 41.64

RW Bray - 6.02
Dorothy Olmos - 2.81

Joaquin Martinez - 2.48
Rodolfo 'Rudy' Reyes - 0.78
Maria Selva - 0.46
Susan Delgado - 0.31