Sunday Funnies (Make this War More Gay edition)

"Better to be thrown accolades than shoes"

The bellowing indignation over Obama's Nobel certainly -- and rather successfully -- minimizes the intolerable hell the rest of the world endured during the previous eight years.

"Certainly from our standpoint, this gives us a sense of momentum — when the United States has accolades tossed its way, rather than shoes."

That's the take of Hillary Clinton's State Department on President Obama being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, according to her spokesman, Assistant Secretary PJ Crowley.

Crowley was referring to the incident last December when an Iraqi journalist threw his shoes at President George W. Bush during his final visit to Iraq of his presidency.

Muntader Zaidi, who worked for the Iraqi television station Al Baghdadiya, hurled both his shoes at Bush and called him a "dog" during a press conference with Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. He narrowly missed the president, who quickly ducked.

The shoe-throwing, considered one of the highest insults in the Middle East, illustrated the deep anger toward the United States over its invasion and occupation of Iraq.

Crowley's comments suggested a recognition by the Obama administration that the Nobel Prize was as much an indictment of the Bush administration as it was an effort to praise President Obama's outreach to improve the US image around the world.

Echoing comments by the White House, Crowley said the award was not just an "affirmation" of the Obama administration's foreign policy strategy of engagement, but also on its robust foreign policy agenda, which includes non-proliferation, dealing with Iran and North Korea, and pursuing peace in the Middle East.

"There is an opportunity here," Crowley said. "The tone has changed — but obviously we recognize that, while the tone in the world has changed, the challenges remain. They are very significant."

Forget the missing weapons of mass destruction and the Nigerian yellowcake and the smearing of an ambassador and the outing of his wife as a CIA agent. Overlook the torture of Iraqi POWs and the warrantless wiretapping of Americans (after all, Obama isn't moving nearly fast enough on either of those to satisfy me, for certain). Disregard even the photos of Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse that continue to be shielded from public view, perhaps forever if Congress gets it way.

Consider only the non-American lives lost: the millions of innocent Iraqi civilians whose misfortune was to be in the way of the bombs and the bullets from both sides, the "coalition of the willing"'s soldiers whose leaders were browbeaten into supporting the war of lies, the deaths by torture and rape at the hands of American troops.

By all means, I expect Obama to actually accomplish a hell of a lot more than he has to this point. President Kumbayah has maxed out on victories by smile and speech.

But if the Nobel committee wants to bet on the come, good on 'em. It's their money. And if anybody wants to keep on playing the tear-down game, they're just stuck in Sore-Loserville.

And Harvey Wasserman, via The Rag Blog, is correct: this Nobel is a pay-it-forward request from the international community to get out of Afghanistan.

Clerk Kaufman retiring

Harris County Clerk Beverly Kaufman, a one-time Waller County farm girl who oversaw record-keeping and election functions of the nation's third largest county, announced Friday she will not seek a fifth term next year. ...

n 1994, Kaufman was appointed to fill an unexpired term as county clerk after the death of Molly Pryor, who had been appointed eight months earlier after the death of longtime clerk Anita Rodeheaver.

Duties of the county clerk include maintaining records for commissioners court, probate and civil courts; overseeing records of real property, tax liens and vital statistics, and supervising elections.

Congratulations and enjoy your retirement, Ms. Kaufman.

Let the speculation begin on her 2010 potential successors. Councilwoman and Vice Mayor Pro Tem (and DNC member) Sue Lovell is widely rumored to be interested in the post, though we likely won't hear anything about it from her until after the November municipal elections. Hector de Leon, Kaufman's director of communications and voter outreach, could have an interest; 2006 Clerk candidate and 2008 judicial candidate James Goodwille Pierre may as well.

Republicans will line up to replace Kaufman, too. Their ranks could include former and very temporary District Clerk, Theresa Chang; the man she replaced when he unsuccessfully challenged County Judge Ed Emmett, Charles Bacarisse; and Tom Moon, whose long record of both Republican activism and government service includes a stint working for both Kaufman and former tax assessor/collector Paul Bettencourt.

Dwayne Bohac and Ed Johnson probably have ruined their chances.

What names are you hearing bandied about, from either side of the aisle?

Update: Carl Whitmarsh advances the name of Sue Schechter.

MLB realllly needs instant replay

Jeff Passan:

On Friday night, a bad call might have cost the Minnesota Twins a chance to beat the New York Yankees on the road in their American League Division Series. In the 11th inning of Game 2, Minnesota catcher Joe Mauer sliced a ball down the left-field line that not only glanced off Melky Cabrera’s glove in fair territory but also bounced at least 6 inches inside the line and then into the stands for what should’ve been a ground-rule double. Umpire Phil Cuzzi, standing 10 feet away, called it foul. (See photo above.) And even though Mauer singled and the Twins managed to load the bases with no outs, they didn’t score, and the Yankees won 4-3 on a Mark Teixeira home run later that inning.

The Twins were here, of course, because of an umpiring error earlier in the week. A pitch glanced off the jersey of Detroit third baseman Brandon Inge with the bases loaded in the 12th inning of the Tigers’ one-game playoff with Minnesota. Umpire Randy Marsh didn’t call it. The Twins scored in the bottom half of the inning. Marsh claimed not to have seen the video, and MLB’s umpiring boss, Mike Port, said he stood by Marsh.

A pair of bad calls, one completely hideous, as all after-the-fact evidence easily reveals.

So that’s what baseball has come to: supporting egregious flubs to protect their own. It’s the epitome of an old-boys’ network, and it’s insulting to the game. MLB says it uses a grading system during the regular season that rewards the best umpires with playoff assignments. That alleged fair and impartial grading system, mind you, rewarded a postseason series to C.B. Bucknor, about whom a player once said: “My grandpa would be a better umpire than him. And my grandpa is dead.”

Bucknor, by the way, blew three calls at first base in Game 1 of the Red Sox-Angels series. Bungling one call is bad. Mangling two is unconscionable. Blowing three in a single game is fireable.

All of this, again, has happened within a half a week’s time. Two game-defining calls and three more that could have led to … well, no one knows. That’s a wall MLB hides behind: that even if Mauer were on second, who’s to say Jason Kubel and Michael Cuddyer would’ve followed with singles?

Baseball has to start getting these right.

Technology exists to ensure that such errors are rectified before they cost a team. If Cuzzi is willing to admit he’s wrong after the game – “There’s a guy sitting over in the umpire’s dressing room right now that feels horrible,” crew chief Tim Tschida said – then it behooves him and others to allow their calls to be vetted in-game. In no way does it subvert their authority. Players will respect their fallibility, a grand quality for so many who try to play god.

Take the cue from football. Use a red replay flag. Each team gets two per game. If the manager throws them too early, or misuses them, and can’t overturn a poor call later, it’s his mess. ... Accompanying the technology is the urgency. Nobody inside baseball wants a postseason defined by its umpiring screw-ups, and yet year after year, they happen. Ignoring the issue won’t make it go away.

Watch for the next blown call, and whether the outrage is sufficient to drive baseball out of the 19th century and into the 21st. Next season. Perhaps.

The human element. That’s the best argument purists muster against widespread instant replay in Major League Baseball. Let’s see how that works: Umpires make mistakes because they’re human, and ... that makes it OK! Somehow, it’s difficult to believe such reasoning would stand up in a court of law or, say, anywhere in the world not populated by baseball’s dopey decision makers who don’t understand that a huge integrity problem is about to smack them in the face.

I just hope he donates the prize money to ...

ACORN.

That would result in emergency rooms crammed full of conservative stroke victims from coast to coast, wouldn't it? A bonafide health care crisis for the Right.

Friday Funnies (alternate realities edition)

Cornyn and Gohmert: sex fiends of a varying sort

While John Cornyn only votes to support the rape of government contract employees by their co-workers without recompense, Louie Gohmert has apparently enrolled in the same kinky turtle club Cornyn once spoke fondly of:




I can't decide which is more offensive: his comparison of homosexuality to necrophilia, bestiality, and pedophilia, or his citing of Chuck Colson on the subject of morality.

It's just so difficult to pick a "worst Texas Republican" when they all compete so vigorously for the title, and when they all belong in the Hall of Shame.

Link via TPM.

Pistachios and Playgirl

Every time Levi Johnston rankles the Palin family, an angel gets its wings.



Truly, as long as Sarah keeps trying to extend her fifteen minutes, there will be little Levi, leeching his commission.

You don't think it drives the conservative hockey moms crazy, do ya?

US Attorney and US Marshal recommendations

A press release from Cong. Lloyd Doggett today revealed the recommendations from the Texas Democratic Congressional delegation for the Obama administration's selection of the US Attorneys and US Marshals for the four Texas federal districts.

While the entire list is noteworthy for its diversity and depth of experience, I'll focus on the two nominees -- both for the Eastern district -- with which I have a passing familiarity: Jefferson County criminal district court Judge John B. Stevens, Jr. for US Attorney and Jefferson County Sheriff Mitch Woods for US Marshal.

First, a little about Judge Stevens, from an announcement in 2006 in conjunction with our shared alma mater, Lamar University:

John B. Stevens Jr., a Beaumont lawyer and Lamar alumnus, has presented Lamar University with first editions of “The Papers of Mirabeau Buonaparte Lamar” and other rare documents chronicling the man regarded as the father of Texas education. ...

“These documents chronicle Texas history at a time when its leadership was just made up of dreams and hopes,” said Stevens. “They had little or no money. They just had a love of freedom to inspire the people to follow them and pledge their lives and their sacred honor. And what has come of that? A great nation, then a great state and a great educational institution.”

“Anything related to Texas history is directly related to Mirabeau Lamar,” Stevens said in an earlier interview. “I don’t believe any of our Texas forefathers compiled such an extensive set of manuscripts chronicling Texas’ road to independence. Many owe much to Mirbeau B. Lamar, and he is often taken for granted.”

At the conclusion of his presentation, Stevens announced a surprise gift: A signed and numbered edition of Philip Graham’s “The Life and Poems of Mirabeau B. Lamar,” published in 1938 and which he described as the pre-eminent work that is not only the greatest chronicle of Lamar’s poems, but also one of the best biographies of Lamar.

“The first 1,000 of this issue of the book were numbered, and Lamar University already has No. 441,” Stevens said. “The first 300 were numbered and signed. You do not have a numbered and signed one – until today. It is my great honor to present No. 219.” ...

Stevens graduated from Lamar in 1974 with a degree in government and history. He went on to post-baccalaureate studies at the University of Texas and to receive a law degree from the University of Houston Law Center in 1979. He earned a master of social sciences from Syracuse University in 2001.

He began his legal career in the Jefferson County district attorney’s office, where he served as an assistant district attorney from 1979-81. Stevens spent four years in private practice, then began a 20 year career as an assistant U.S. attorney for the Eastern District of Texas.

He resigned from that post to become a candidate for judge of Jefferson County Criminal District Court. After receiving the Democratic nomination for the post, he is unopposed on the Nov. 7 (2006) ballot.

Sheriff Woods:

Jefferson County Sheriff Mitch Woods is a step closer to becoming the next U.S. Marshal for the Eastern District of Texas. The U.S. Marshal Services is a federal law enforcement agency that protects the federal courts and its personnel. It is the oldest law enforcement agency in the United States. He applied for the job in July and recently his name was submitted for it. Sheriff Woods tells FRONT ROW that the next step is to pass an FBI background check and receive Senate confirmation. Woods has been sheriff since 1996.

The position is appointed by the President of the United States. There are 94 U.S. Marshals, one in each federal judicial district. If Woods gets the job, he'll remain in Beaumont. The office is housed at the federal court building.

The state's senators usually have a say in these appointments, but since Texas has no Democratic representation in that body, the Congressional delegation took on the task of initial vetting and selection of these recommendations.

Congratulations to all of the esteemed officials on that list, and let's look forward to speedy confirmation by the US Senate.

The Weekly Wrangle

The Texas Political Alliance hopes that everyone reading this today has ensured they are registered to vote in the November election, as the deadline for doing so is Monday, October 5.

The Texas Cloverleaf reviews proposed changes to the city of Denton's charter that will be on the November ballot.

CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme notices Rick Perry has had a busy week what with channeling Glenn Beck and messing up a wrongful execution investigation.

TXsharon of BlueDaze had a hard time keeping up with all the fracking, moving, shaking and gasping for toxic air in the Barnett Shale this week so there is a BS recap that includes a recently released URGENT alert for all current and former residents of DISH -- formerly Clark -- Texas to complete and submit a health survey.

Bay Area Houston wonders what $640 a frickin hour buys you in the Houston mayor's race.

If a Republican holds an online event, will they properly provision for the people who want to join it? McBlogger's pretty sure they won't and isn't terribly surprised that they blamed it on the nefarious actions of others.

At Texas Vox, Citizen Andy fills you in on the Senate incarnation of the climate change bill. Waxman-Markey, meet Kerry-Boxer.

WCNews at Eye On Williamson posts on Gov. Perry's latest outrage. It's another example of why Texas needs accountability in our state's government: Perry's pride and the Willingham case.

This week on Left of College Station, Teddy writes about why he gets up early on Saturday mornings to escort patients at Planned Parenthood; guest blogger Litia writes about the frustrations they fell while trying to get students to participate in class at Texas A&M. Left of College Station also covers the week in headlines.

XicanoPwr is encouraging people to vote for Prop 4, the national research university proposition, on November 3. Texas currently has three flagship universities -- The University of Texas at Austin, Texas A&M University and Rice University -- compared to states such as California, with nine, and New York with seven. If passed, it would allow seven emerging universities -- Texas Tech, University of Houston, University of North Texas, University of Texas at Arlington, University of Texas at Dallas, University of Texas at El Paso and University of Texas at San Antonio -- tap into a $500 million education fund to help them be part of the elite three and achieve national prominence as major research universities.

WhosPlayin' has video from Denton County's "Donkeyfest" where candidates John Sharp for U.S. Senate and Neil Durrance for U.S. Congress spoke.

Off the Kuff has a simple suggestion for how Governor Perry and Williamson County DA John Bradley can counter the perception that Bradley's elevation to chair of the Texas Forensic Sciences Commission was a blatantly political move designed to bury the findings of the Cameron Todd Willingham case: reschedule the meeting that the Commission was going to hold before Perry's maneuver.

Neil at Texas Liberal offered a post this week about the famous Dogs Playing Poker paintings. These paintings have been around for more than 100 years now. How many of our blog posts will last in any meaningful respect beyond next week?

The Doctorate of Shadetree Psychology is hereby awarded to PDiddie of Brains and Eggs, for his compelling dissertation that Rick Perry is a sociopath.

At TexasKaos, Libby Shaw gives Senators Hutchison and Cornyn a chance to put up or shut up. If government health care is so horrible, so "socialist", give up your govenment coverage. Read the rest here: Senators Hutchison and Cornyn: Get Us What You Have or Give Up Yours.

Why do conservatives hate America? (part II)

During the Bush era, Republicans from Karl Rove to Joe Wilson questioned — in ways both veiled and overt — the patriotism of Democrats who challenged the administration’s Iraq policy, pre-war intelligence and surveillance programs.

But the joyous reaction in some GOP quarters to the International Olympics Committee's snub of Chicago — coupled with the party’s rapid-fire reaction to bad economic data – has some Democrats turning the tables and asking if Republicans are the ones cheering against America now.

Many Democrats saw the outbursts following the IOC decision – the merry Tweets, videos of cheering conservatives and chest-thumping by party leaders like Newt Gingrich — as part of larger pattern that includes the flirtation of right-wing Texans like Gov. Rick Perry with secession and the caustic tone of right-wing talk radio, embodied by Rush Limbaugh’s “I want him to fail” comment about Obama in January.

“Some of these people are starting to put politics first and country second,” said Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-Md.), the head of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, taking particular issue with Limbaugh and Glenn Beck.

“The American people are starting to wonder if they are rooting against America,” he added.

Remember "freedom fries" instead of French fries in the Congressional cafeteria? Yeah, even Walter Jones knows now how stupid that was.

That was a long time ago -- before teabag parties, before Orly Taitz and the "birthers", before disruptive town halls, before Barack Hussein Obama not placing his hand over his heart during the national anthem, before Sarah Palin and "death panels", before the scapegoating of Van Jones for calling them assholes, before "You lie", before Rick Perry's secessionist adventure, and certainly before last week's celebrating over Chicago losing the Olympics.

A young organizer at the conservative “Defending the American Dream Summit” interrupted a panel discussion last Friday to reads the news from a BlackBerry.

A tracker attending the event caught the crowd’s reaction in the Arlington, Va. hotel ballroom on video: The place erupted in hooting and wild applause, a scene perversely reminiscent of the exultation that followed the U.S. Olympic hockey team’s “Miracle on Ice” victory against the Soviets in 1980.

“[Chicago lost] on the very first vote! They did not have any chance…” the woman said to an ovation, according to the video, which was recorded by a National Journal tracker and blasted to reporters by Think Progress, an offshoot of the liberal Center for American Progress.

A blogger with the right-wing Weekly Standard reported: “Chicago loses! Chicago loses!... Cheers erupt at WEEKLY STANDARD world headquarters,” before hastily pulling down the post and replacing it with an item that omitted the newsroom reaction.

RedState's Erick Erickson ditched loftier prose and punched out the letters "Hahahahaha,” while former House Speaker Newt Gingrich combined the loss with Friday’s dreadful unemployment report to conclude "President Obama fails to get the Olympics while unemployment goes to 9.8% …America needs focused leadership," on his Twitter account.

So obviously this is supposed to be about taking Obama down a notch or two and winning a few seats back in Congress next year, and then the White House in 2012. But it has metastisized in something quite a bit more ridiculous, unstable, and deranged than just political points on a scoreboard.


And that's just the locals -- who are, naturally, representative of the last bastion of ultra-conservatism in the country, good ol' Deep-In-The-Hearta. Look who's going to be the next chairwoman of the RPT, after all:

Texas Eagle Forum’s Cathie Adams shows once again how extreme and unhinged the far right has become. In an e-mail to far-right activists sent out late Saturday night, Ms. Adams — who is also a Republican National Committeewoman and has endorsed Gov. Rick Perry for re-election next year — compares President Obama to Adolf Hitler and twists the purpose of his planned speech to students about the importance of staying in school and getting a good education:

“(The president) has NO AUTHORITY to intrude into our children’s classrooms and simultaneously address every child in every state.

If parents want their children to view the president, then they have ample opportunities at home without taking time away from their studies. This is eerily like Hitler’s youth movement. . . .

IF your child’s school is allowing this intrusion, then you can either ask that your child be sent to study hall during the showing AND that NO study guide be used to ask your child to “serve the president.” Or you can ask that your child be granted an excused absence from school. . . . “

That’s just shameful. One need not be a supporter of President Obama to agree that comparing our country’s duly elected leader to one of history’s most evil men — someone who ruthlessly presided over the murder of millions of people — is vile. Moreover, no suggested study guide asks students to “serve the president.” Ms. Adams’ claim is simply untrue. And the president has not asserted that he has the authority to demand that school officials have students listen to his speech. The administration has simply invited students and educators to do so. Ms. Adams is dishonestly and cynically trying to stir up anger and hostility toward a president who won an election despite her militant opposition.

Christ, how could I have forgotten all about that whole "Obama isn't speaking to MY children" bullshit.

Personally I don't see this lunacy winning any independent voters back over to the GOP -- quite the contrary -- and I'd like to let them just keep on with their bigotry and ignorance and fear and loathing, but the truth is the last time there was this much crazy going on among the extreme right a president got shot in the streets of Dallas.

And if anything close to that happens again, there will be a lot more than any kind of typical hell to be paid.

First Monday in October and five SCOTUS cases to watch

Excerpt summaries courtesy TIME; links are mine.

Salazar v. Buono
At issue: Whether the government can permit the display of a crucifix on public land as per the Establishment Clause.

Maryland v. Shatzer
At issue: The scope of the rights of police suspects, as given in the court's landmark 1966 decision, Miranda v. Arizona.

Graham v. Florida / Sullivan v. Florida
At issue: Whether life imprisonment for juveniles on non-homicide charges constitutes cruel and unusual punishment.

The Eighth Amendment precludes cruel and unusual punishment, but it has long been left to the Supreme Court to define exactly what that term means. This court will be asked to consider it again in a pair of cases on the docket.

National Rifle Association v. Chicago / McDonald v. Chicago
At issue: Second Amendment rights to gun ownership.

A pair of cases challenge Chicago's 27-year-old ban on handgun sales within the city limits. Originally designed to curb violence in the city, the ban has long irked Second Amendment advocates, who take an expansive view of the amendment's wording that the "right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." But the Supreme Court had long held that the Second Amendment pertained only to federal laws, until a 2008 decision in District of Columbia v. Heller struck down a ban on handguns and automatic weapons in Washington, D.C. The ruling marked the first time the Supreme Court acknowledged an individual right to bear arms, and it opened the door for these challenges to the Chicago regulation.

American Needle v. National Football League
At issue: Whether sporting leagues should be exempt from antitrust regulations.

Experts say American Needle may turn out to be the most important legal decision in sporting history. The sportswear manufacturer contracted with NFL teams to produce hats and headgear with official team logos. But the NFL decided to give an exclusive leaguewide license to Reebok in 2000, leading American Needle to sue, claiming the NFL's action violated the Sherman Antitrust Act by limiting the market for who could produce team-branded merchandise.

The fundamental question for the court to decide is whether the NFL should be considered a single entity or a collection of 32 individual businesses. The answer to this question has repercussions beyond the production of licensed merchandise. If the NFL is considered a single entity, it would largely be exempt from antitrust laws, giving the league not only continued right to grant exclusive licenses for team apparel but also the ability to make decisions on a leaguewide basis. This opens the door to the NFL - rather than individual teams - determining things like ticket prices and player salaries. Indeed, the bargaining power of the NFL Players Union is based on antitrust legislation that the league would largely be immune to if it receives a favorable ruling from the Supreme Court.