Sunday Funnies

The Turner-Whitmire dynamic

It's the key to the runoff, and perhaps the mayor's office itself.  Not the most recent news development for observant watchers, but it's been busy blogging around here for the past couple of weeks.

The mayor, the senator, and the representative 

announcing the firefighters pension agreement last month.

"My name is John Whitmire, and I'm Sylvester Turner's state senator," he said, a go-to laugh-line that landed in a sea of donors. "Everyone in my district is important, but Sylvester Turner kind of stands out."

Kind words like those -- exchanged again and again over the past 12 months in both directions -- have gone a shade past the standard "good friend" lavished by nearly every politician on their predecessors at a dais. The alliance between Turner, a powerful Democratic state representative, and Whitmire, the most senior Democrat in the Senate, say people familiar with their ties, is genuine yet politically potent and already is sculpting the local Democratic landscape.

"The moon, the sun and all the planets have come together in the Sylvester-John orbit," said Carl Whitmarsh, a longtime Democratic activist close to both men.

This is the primary reason -- beyond all the other good reasons -- why Sylvester Turner is and has long been the front-runner in the race for mayor of Houston.  It's why Noah has already picked him as his favorite, why Kuff has taken note, and why the stars seem to be aligning, as Carl Whitmarsh pointed out above.  They're both not only senior legislators in powerful chairs in the Lege (in a dominated minority party), they're also personal friends.

Earlier (in March), Turner and Whitmire claimed credit for brokering a deal between an equally dug-in City Hall and fire pension board to modify the city's pension payments. And Whitmire is expected to co-chair Turner's mayoral campaign, formalizing what has been an aggressive courting of the local political establishment by the senior senator on Turner's behalf.

To see how their long and strong partnership is shaping the race, just look at a couple of the other contenders' reactions.

"They've been allies for a long time. It doesn't surprise me that they support each other," said Turner opponent Oliver Pennington, a city councilman who is critical of the pension deal struck by the Democratic pair.

Pennington is one of two Republicans most likely to be in a mayoral runoff with Turner.  (The other is Steve Costello.)  The Democrat most likely to join Turner in the second round is Chris Bell, and Turner and Whitmire know it.

When Jim Jard, a politically connected developer, planned to align with Chris Bell, one of Turner's opponents, Whitmire "called in a chit," according to a person with direct knowledge of the interaction.

Jard is now supporting Turner.

"  'Hey Jim, Sylvester has a self-interest in fixing a lot of these problems that everyone's worried about,' " Jard recalled Whitmire saying. " 'If he's going to be mayor, who has more of an interest in getting it fixed?' "

Seems a little redundant, Whitmire's rationale.  Jard's probably not telling us everything he knows.

It's still too early to rank Pennington, Costello, and/or Bell after the odds-on favorite, and if Adrian Garcia ever busts a move, things get scrambled... but only for second place.  I remain of the opinion that Garcia is wise to stay out because he has by far the most to lose.

I just don't think Sylvester Turner is going to let himself get Laniered a second time.

Update:  This kiddie pool-depth "Where's Waldo" article -- meant to update us on Garcia's status but not telling us anything new -- from Groogan at Fox26 (who usually does a better job) contains yet another odious fundraising importance meme from a political consultant, and the most ridiculous Mark Jones quote to date.

As for the threat of losing support among influential Hispanics, Jones says rivalry driven defection among Latino leaders has become the norm.

"I think there are quite a large number of Hispanic political elites in Houston who believe if they can't be mayor or someone in their faction can't be mayor I think they would prefer that a non-Latino be mayor," said Jones.

Remind me what you think their options are again, Dr. Jones?  Latino, non-Latino and what else?

K-Pax draws grand jury scrutiny

Our lazy-eyed unlicensed financial adviser/attorney general might be in trouble... but is probably not.  RG Ratcliffe (who is really doing a great job in taking over Paul Burka's blog):

The Houston Chronicle’s Lauren McGaughy got the break on reporting that the Collin County grand jury had asked the Travis County district attorney for its files in the Paxton securities case. District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg had previously decided the proper venue for the case was Collin County and referred it to Collin District Attorney Greg Willis. Paxton is from Collin County and any possible crimes occurred there. Willis, who is a Paxton friend and former business partner, has refused to act.

[...]

Paxton admitted to the Texas State Securities Board that on multiple occasions he sold securities without registering as a securities dealer. The board issued a reprimand and fined him $1,000.

To review, this is stuff we all knew a year ago, when Paxton was in the process of being nominated by the TXGOP to replace Greg Abbott in the OAG, and the bad news kept breaking all through the election season, and into this year.  Here's more on this week's worm-turn from Chris Hooks at the TO.  (Be sure and read from the start to understand his premise that Paxton is in deep doo-doo.  Let's scroll to the bottom, excerpt, and disagree.)

Once the grand jury hears the evidence in Paxton’s case, an indictment seems more likely than not.

“This case is absurd because Paxton has already admitted to a crime with Texas regulators,” says )Texans for Public Justice head Craig) McDonald (who has called for a special prosecutor). His admission of guilt, passed off by his consultants during the election as the end of the matter, “in no way adjudicates his potential felony criminal behavior.” As a reminder of the surreal nature of the fact that he may not be prosecuted for a crime which he has apparently admitted to committing, McDonald says, he keeps Paxton’s “signed confession” on his desk.

"Once the grand jury hears the evidence in Paxton’s case, an indictment seems more likely than not."

I doubt it.  It's just as easy to no-bill a ham sandwich when your pal is the DA.

*coughDavidMedinaArsonChuckRosenthalcough*

And I would surmise that more than a few of Willis' and Paxton's supporters sit on that GJ.  I smell a whitewash, but then I'm a skeptical sort when it comes to Republicans and ethics.

Update: DallasMorningViews reveals the big stall.

One hundred fifty, one hundred, and fifty years ago today

-- Sesquicentennial: The War between the States ended.

Lee and Grant, both holding the highest rank in their respective armies, had known each other slightly during the Mexican War and exchanged awkward personal inquiries. Characteristically, Grant arrived in his muddy field uniform while Lee had turned out in full dress attire, complete with sash and sword. Lee asked for the terms, and Grant hurriedly wrote them out. All officers and men were to be pardoned, and they would be sent home with their private property – most important, the horses, which could be used for a late spring planting. Officers would keep their side arms, and Lee’s starving men would be given Union rations.

Shushing a band that had begun to play in celebration, General Grant told his officers, “The war is over. The Rebels are our countrymen again.” Although scattered resistance continued for several weeks, for all practical purposes the Civil War had come to an end.

Yes, about that 'scattered resistance'.  It continues to this day.

(T)he Sons of Confederate Veterans are now nearing completion on a monument to their ancestors just off I-10, just this side of the Sabine and the Louisiana border.
 
Situated at the corner of I-10 and Martin Luther King Jr. Drive, “The Confederate Memorial of the Wind” will feature a walkway lined by the Confederate battle flag and those of several dozen (the count varies in every article) Texas regiments leading up to a circular monument composed of 13 columns honoring each of the Confederate states.

Around the time the project got underway two years ago, Granvel Block, an Orange resident and the SCV’s Texas statewide commander, rejected the idea, often espoused by the NAACP, that Confederate symbols are hateful relics of white supremacy and slavery.

Block said the group wants to preserve history. He said some people, white and black, do not like the Confederate battle flag design because they don’t understand the history. “So many things (about the Confederacy) have been taught wrong or with a poor skew,” he said. As examples, he said the Civil War was not fought over slavery and that slaves were owned in the north, not exclusively in the south. He said individual state governments were sovereign and that “our states were invaded by northern troops.”

Right.  Not about slavery.  Despite what the secession statements of Mississippi, Georgia, South Carolina, and Texas actually say.  Despite what the vice-president of the Confederacy, Alexander Hamilton Stephens, said.  Tip of the hat, Grant-to-Lee-style, to Infidel for the links, and for this.

That was the Confederate cause: slavery and explicit racism drenched in self- righteous Bible-thumping.  It's no wonder certain elements today feel nostalgic for it.

Related: Gadfly, on why we need an Appomattox (or a "You lost, traitors") Day.

-- Centenary (plus two days): The birth of Billie Holiday.

She wore white gardenias in her black hair and sang about the scent of magnolia, sweet and fresh.

Billie Holiday, born 100 years ago Tuesday, is being remembered as a timeless American jazz singer who risked her career to record a song with a civil-rights message that resonates still today.

In 1938, Holiday became the first Black woman to work with a White orchestra. One year later, her label, Columbia Records, would refuse her request to record "Strange Fruit," a song about the lynching of a black man.



Major record labels feared losing sales in the South. Holiday recorded "Strange Fruit" with Commodore Records, recognized as America's first independent jazz record label.

[...]

Time Magazine called Holiday's haunting ballad the song of the century. It has sold millions of copies.

The late jazz writer Leonard Feather called "Strange Fruit," "the first significant protest in words and music, the first unmuted cry against racism."

-- Golden anniversary: The opening of the Astrodome.

They're throwing a party for her tonight, and I'll be there.

Scattershooting Rand Paul, Rahm Emanuel, and other clay targets

It's as easy as Dick Cheney blasting a pigeon-load into that guy's face.

-- I wanted to save some Randy snark for today because everybody else in the world jumped on Ron Paul's boy yesterday.  Lindsey Graham -- excuse me, Senator Huckleberry J. Butchmeup -- got hot out of the gate on Sunday morning.

“The best (Iran nuclear) deal, I think, comes with a new president,” Graham said. “Hillary Clinton would do better. I think everybody on our side, except maybe Rand Paul, could do better.”

Ha.  Then the rest of the GOP hawks followed suit, running a million dollars' worth of television advertising as he was declaring, calling him a dove.  Or maybe a pussy.  NYT, via Crooks and Liars:

As Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky is set to announce his presidential campaign on Tuesday, a television ad tethers him to President Obama’s policy on Iran as part of a $1 million advertising buy painting him as “dangerous.”

The ad is a 30-second spot that will run on broadcast networks and on Fox News this week in the first four early primary states — Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina, according to a person familiar with the buy, who provided the spot. It is unusual for an outside group to try to swamp a candidate’s announcement day, but Mr. Paul has been viewed with deep concern by foreign policy hawks for his non-interventionist views. The ad is being run by a 501(c)4 group, the Foundation for a Secure and Prosperous America, that doesn’t have to disclose its donors and is led by Rick Reed, a strategist involved in the “Swiftboat Veterans for Truth” against John Kerry in the 2004 presidential campaign.

Their emphasis.  You gotta love it when they eat their own like this.

Libertarians said to stop calling Rand a libertarian.  FiveThirtyEight pointed out that he's losing his father's base (of racist wingnuts; they have many better options in 2016, after all).  Mark Halperin said -- in an apparent compliment, in context -- that Paul sounded like the "Peanuts mom" to the rest of the GOP. Wahwah wahwah wahwah.  At least he'll let me keep my dick pics.

Seriously though.  Which would you rather buy: a Rand Paul-autographed copy of the United States Constitution for a thousand bucks, or a cellphone case from Ready for Hillary that cannot be used for multiple devices for $20.16?

The choice is clear.  (Neither.)

Update: More hilarious misfires from AMERICAblog that include music copyright violations, Paul's "eductation" policy, use of stock photos to represent supporters, and reTweeting a picture of the Aurora, CO movie theater murderer, Photoshopped, holding  a "Stand with Rand" sign.

This is an even more epic online failure than Ted Cruz's rollout.

-- Score another win for the Evil Empire, as Rahmbo turns back Chuy Garcia in Chi-town.

With nearly all voting precincts reporting results, Emanuel had about 56 percent of the vote compared to around 44 percent for Garcia.

[...]

Many of those heading to the polls Tuesday said the election should be a signal.

"Hopefully he (Emanuel) takes heed of the runoff when he should have been a shoo-in," said Richard Rowe, a 50-year-old, who planned to vote for the incumbent.

Jesus Fernandez, a 44-year-old window washer who voted for Garcia, had the same view.

"If he (Garcia) gets close, we might push Rahm to do something," Fernandez said. "At least we push him a little bit."

Yeahno.

"The mayor is who he is," said Paul Green, political science professor with Roosevelt University. "I think he's sincere when he says he'll listen more, but I don't think it will change much."

Political consultant Don Rose, a Garcia adviser, said Emanuel is both the "ultimate pragmatist" and the "ultimate egotist," so it is tough to say what lessons he will take from the election. One change Emanuel will need to make is his reputation as anti-union, Rose said.

Good luck with the hope for change, Chicago.

-- Speaking of cannibalization, Shell is swallowing BG for $69 billion, and there's more devouring of each other by Big Oil in the pipeline.

I'm sure someone will tell us this is a good thing.

-- Speaking of dick pics, good old Uncle Sam has been wiretapping Americans without a warrant since at least 1992.

The U.S. government was tracking the international phone calls of Americans nearly a decade before the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, USA Today reported, citing current and former officials involved with the operation. The report said the Justice Department and the Drug Enforcement Administration amassed logs of virtually all telephone calls from the USA to as many as 116 countries linked to drug trafficking. The now-discontinued operation was the government's first known effort to gather data on Americans in bulk, the report added.

Why was it discontinued, pray tell?

The program, run by the (DOJ and DEA), was halted by Attorney General Eric Holder in 2013 amid the fallout from revelations by former National Security Agency contractor Edward Snowden about NSA data collection, the paper reported.

Another thing I am grateful to Snowden for.  That makes at least five, counting these four.