Sunday Funnies

The "boarders"

That misspelling by too many pathetic conservatives is, sadly, now a haunting description of the current situation in South Texas.  And the proposed responses to the humanitarian crisis are getting more shrill.  Ted Cruz is squealing, Dan Patrick is shrieking... but fortunately for us all, Greg Abbott is still in hiding and Rick Perry is busy cleaning something off his new shoes (no boots for him anymore).

State Sen. Dan Patrick the Republican candidate for lieutenant governor, joined some of his conservative colleagues on Tuesday in calling for “immediate action” to address the surge of undocumented immigrants crossing into Texas.

“The Texas Department of Public Safety has indicated that sustained operations along our southern border will require $1.3 million per week," Patrick said in a statement. "I am calling on the governor, lieutenant governor and speaker of the House to immediately allocate $1.3 million a week in emergency spending for the rest of the year for added border security through Texas law enforcement."

That's a Band-Aid on a bullet wound.

There is going to be a horde of armed folks showing up with guns to play soldier. I can't think of a more dangerous situation. The border is a dangerous place to begin with. A surge only makes it worse.

Rick Perry should return to Texas and address this problem. A letter signed by state leaders in support of a surge is not a fix. An armed vigilante force is not a fix. A letter from the tea party is not a fix. I'm not sure that there is a fix, but this plan isn't it. There is no doubt that the situation on the border is serious. It is both a humanitarian and a demographic crisis. But it can't be fixed by politicians playing politics during an election season in an attempt to throw red meat to the base.

Rick Perry won't be fixing it, won't even be trying to.  Neither will Greg Abbott or Dan Patrick, of course.  It is, in fact, something that Barack Obama needs to take action upon.  More than likely, however, it's going to be a problem that Hillary Clinton -- together with Wendy Davis and Leticia Van de Putte -- will have to address when they all are elected.  Hopefully.

State Sen. Leticia Van de Putte, D-San Antonio, Patrick’s opponent in the race for lieutenant governor, said that “partisan politics and fear-mongering” would not solve the problem at the border and called on federal lawmakers to turn their attention to what she said is the driving force behind the exodus.

“Washington must tackle the root causes of this crisis: weak governments, entrenched poverty and the growing power of violent criminal actors in Central America,” she said in a statement. “Texans have a long tradition of looking after our neighbors in times of need. These too are children of God. State and federal government should follow suit, and partner with our faith-based organizations, nonprofits, food banks, and health providers to help these children.”

ICE, as we know, is overwhelmed.  They are staying busy shipping migrants to Arizona and flying them back to their home nations, and still they come, fleeing the economic injustices in Central America that have left them sick and starving.  Even burying those who have died in transit has now become an American disgrace.

And, though he earns a share, you cannot blame it all on Obama.

(T)he only way to tackle root causes is for Washington to stop meddling in other countries’ affairs -- political and economic. The influx of kids mostly comes from El Salvador, Honduras, Belize, and Guatemala; all countries whose governments are or have historically been supported by the U.S. because they elected whom the U.S. wanted (or placed in power by coup), as our friends at Latino Rebels remind us. The Central American Free Trade Agreement and meddling in these countries’ elections has certainly taken its toll to the point where cash-rich criminal enterprises easily yield power. And let’s not forget that some of these right-wing governments are quite oppressive, as well, particularly toward the poor. What do you think is the socio-economic status of the kids coming over? So, if these governments are weak, we can definitely point to US Latin American policy as a root cause.

As things stand, there is a crisis and it’s growing. With 90,000 kids expected to come over and be apprehended by the end of 2014, facilities and manpower are already busting at the seams. As we heard recently, the Border Patrol was complaining about doing diaper duty and babysitting. If only the DPS dollars were for humanitarian aid, rather than a weak attempt at border militarization. Because all of this just seems to be another dose of Republican theater -- $40 million worth of bad theater.

Even Bill Clinton -- as far back as 2010, mind you -- has come to the realization that these free trade pacts turned out badly for everybody involved.  And for the record, Hillary needs to quickly get to the same public understanding about her role in the Trans-Pacific Partnership.  The children streaming across the Rio Grande have exposed the naked greed and corruption associated with politicians of both parties currying favor with the diversified global conglomerates.

As bad as it is, our free-trade, cheap-foreign-labor Democrats still ain't got nuthin' on Republicans.

The chickens of NAFTA and CAFTA are coming home to roost.  And if we the people don't stop it, the TPP will eventually produce the same economic disparity and dislocation.  It's going to take much more critical thinking to apply some remedies to our hemispheric economy than a police surge at the Texas border can fix.

And let's establish that Republicans just are not capable of that much deep thought.

Update: Rick Perry writes a sternly worded letter.  I seem to recall television commercials from 2002, 2006, and 2010 suggesting Rick Perry was capable of taking more action about immigration than just writing a letter.  Conservatives, you've been played.

Another round of bad news for Republicans

-- Wendy Davis defeats Greg Abbott... again.  She won a lower court decision in her redistricting case, which meant he had to pay her legal fees.  He contested that, and not only lost but got slapped by the federal judge, Rosemary Collyer.  Emphasis mine.

This matter presents a case study in how not to respond to a motion for attorney fees and costs. At issue is whether defendant-intervenors, who prevailed in Voting Rights Act litigation before a three-judge panel, may recoup attorney fees and costs even though the Supreme Court vacated that opinion in light of the Supreme Court’s subsequent decision in a different lawsuit that declared a section of the Voting Rights Act unconstitutional. A quick search of the Federal Reporter reveals the complexity of this narrow question. Yet, rather than engage the fee applicants, Plaintiff Texas basically ignores the arguments supporting an award of fees and costs. In a three-page filing entitled “Advisory,” Texas trumpets the Supreme Court’s decision, expresses indignation at having to respond at all, and presumes that the motion for attorney fees is so frivolous that Texas need not provide further briefing in opposition unless requested. Such an opposition is insufficient in this jurisdiction. Circuit precedent and the Local Rules of this Court provide that the failure to respond to an opposing party’s arguments results in waiver as to the unaddressed contentions, and the Court finds that Texas’s “Advisory” presents no opposition on the applicable law. Accordingly, the Court will award the requested fees and costs.

What a splendidly crappy lawyer Greg Abbott is.  The whole thing, if you're into that.

-- TXGOP chair Steve Munisteri backs slowly away from the reparative therapy plank in his party's platform.

Munisteri, who won re-election as chairman during the convention in Fort Worth, told Texas Public Radio this week he doesn’t think it’s possible to convert someone from homosexual to heterosexual through therapy.

“And I just make the point for anybody that thinks that may be the possibility: Do they think they can take a straight person to a psychiatrist and turn them gay?” Munisteri said.

Yeah... no.  You broke that shit, you own it. Update: Wonkette.

-- A majority of Americans, between 57% and 67% depending on how the question is asked, support the Obama administration's new EPA guidelines meant to throttle power plant pollution.  A majority of TeaBaggers -- 74% -- do not.  Of course, they are out of step with the country on Common Core, and immigration, and pretty much everything else, so is this really news?

The only reason they think they're the majority is because they're the only ones voting.  Then again... is that their fault?

#FightBackTexas

Reading this is like reliving it.  It's a powerful testament to everyone who pushed back against the radical right last summer.  Here's just a few examples of the ludicrousness and the triumph -- and the defeat -- among the many unforgettable moments.

I was sitting on the fourth floor with a bunch of people around a table and someone tweeted at me, “They took my tampons.” And I was like, “Oh, you’re funny.” So I tweeted to all the people, “Has anyone else experienced this?” I started tweeting trying to crowd source info, walked downstairs and found a DPS guy and asked, “Are you taking tampons?” And he said, “Yes, we are.”

When I said, “At what point must a female senator raise her hand or her voice to be heard over the male colleagues in the room,” it was out of pure anger and frustration. I raised my hand. I spoke out, and the gallery heard me. The press table heard me. But my mic was purposefully turned off — as I learned later, all the Democrats mics were turned off.

That question encapsulated so much of what I had been feeling — all of my frustration at the system, at Republican lawmakers who were smugly ignoring the stories that Wendy Davis was reading, at lawmakers playing Candy Crush on their smartphones instead of paying attention.

Everyone erupted. We all did that collectively as the people of Texas. We defeated legislation in the most grassroots way you can defeat legislation.

We yelled. It was hours, weeks, years worth of frustration at being told to be quiet, being ignored, being patronized with claims that this bill was for "women's safety" when anyone who's been paying attention knows that the opposite is true--all coming out in one long, cathartic roar of frustration.

We were shouting so loudly by the end of the night that the building shook. I mean, it's a granite building.

I was three stories down under some pretty thick limestone, and you could feel the building move from the sub-basement. It was incredible.

The thing about the filibuster, and the entire performance of the filibuster, is that it wasn’t politics and it wasn’t theater. It was sports. It was an endurance test. It was the best sporting event I’d ever been to, because it was a contest to see who could endure and who could come up with the right play at the right time.

It was more like watching a fixed fight.

And the main players, drawing the battle lines today (and to November).

“We are fighting to keep Austin politicians like Greg Abbott and Dan Patrick from getting between a woman and her doctor by eliminating crucial health services like life-saving cancer screenings and making abortion illegal in the case of rape and incest,” Davis said.

Van de Putte attended her father’s funeral on the day of the filibuster and returned to the Capitol that night.

“June 25, 2013 marks the end of the time that this Legislature can work in a vacuum. The people spoke up. It was the people’s filibuster. And with all my heart, I know they are going to show up at the ballot box in November,” Van de Putte said. 

We all certainly hope so.