Sunday Funnies, Gordo Corpus Christie edition

Annnd here come the fat jokes.

"A year ago, when I saw Christie palling around with Barack Obama after hurricane Sandy, I was worried he was one of those 'fake conservatives' who secretly believe that the government can do things. But now I realize he's the kind of leader I can get behind -- the kind who says, 'It's my way or I shut down your highway.' Christie is a true conservative! He's committed to proving the core conservative value that government is the problem, even if he has to create those problems himself. I can already see his 2016 bumper sticker: Christie -- Bringing America Together Or I Will Fuck You Over."

-- Stephen Colbert

Fear and greed, and 2010 and 2014

Is this year going to be more like four years ago than 2012?  The answer is 'probably'.  Think Progress rains on the parade.

Barring another big Democratic wave in November, 2014 is likely to be a bad election year for Democrats. That’s because they are stuck defending the big Senate victories Democrats made in the 2008 wave election, as well as several seats in states that have trended red in recent years. Any year when Senate Democrats need to defend seats in Alaska, Arkansas, Louisiana, Montana, South Dakota and West Virginia is likely to be a difficult time for Team Blue, regardless of how they perform at the polls.

In the fairly likely event that Republicans regain control of the Senate next year, they will suddenly enjoy a power they haven’t held since Senate Democrats invoked the so-called nuclear opinion last November — the power to block every single one of President Obama’s nominees to any Senate-confirmed job. That is, at least, if the Supreme Court gives them this power. (Next) Monday, the justices will hear a case that could effectively shut down the president’s power to make recess appointments, potentially cutting off the primary avenue a president has to push back against a Senate that refuses to confirm anyone to key government jobs.

That article continues in similarly gloomy fashion.  The $64,000 question remains: can Texas -- Wendy Davis and Leticia Van de Putte and Battleground Texas and all the others -- overcome the bad trend lines?  History is unkind.

The Herculean task of registering hundreds of thousands of eligible non-voters (in Texas these reputedly number between 2.5 and 3 million), making certain they have proper ID to vote, and then getting them to actually cast a ballot (Texas registered voters who did not vote in 2012 counted 8 million) -- is still Job One.  It's the linchpin on which everything else hinges.  Unfortunately, no amount of Republican infighting is going to dampen the conservative hatred enthusiasm in November.  Ted Cruz is furiously whipping them into a foaming frenzy, and that will be something you can count on him doing once a week for the next ten months.

U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz has told a conservative conference that President Barack Obama is lawless, providing the right wing rhetoric that makes him so popular in his home state.

The conservative Republican laid out his reasoning for why he thinks the president is “dangerous and terrifying.”

According to the Statesman, Cruz also slammed Obama for what he referred to as a pattern of “lawlessness on a breathtaking scale.”

“We are a nation of laws and not men,” Cruz was additionally quoted as saying by the website. “If we had a system where a president can pick and choose what laws to follow at utter whim … that is seriously dangerous.”

The only thing that's dangerous, as everyone knows, is the inflamed rhetoric Cruz keeps spewing.  He is a demagogue of the highest rank, and he stimulates the worst elements of the far right every time he runs his mouth.  If you can stomach it, check the comments at the links for confirmation.

I don't think Cruz will be satisfied until somebody gets physically hurt, and we all know who that is.  Which sounds more and more like his intent.

But Cruz warned those with that mindset that they ought to contemplate that their “guy ain’t gonna be there forever. If this president has that power so does the next one and the next one and the next one, and my message to all the Democrats and all the liberals is, what do you think about the next president, maybe a Republican, having the power Barack Obama has as a president who is not bound by the law?”

Personally, I don't think there are going to be any more Republican presidents for a long, long, time (and not just because Chris Christie has self-destructed).  There ARE, however, going to be odious pieces of crap like Cruz in the US Senate, terrible fools like Louie Gohmert in the House of Representatives, and homegrown lunatics like Greg Abbott and Dan Patrick in Austin for much longer than anyone wants to think about.

That's what Texas Democrats are up against.  Texas Republicans all pattern themselves now after their god, Ted Cruz.  And it worked in 2010 like a charm without him around.

So in my life experience, there are two primary motivators of human behavior: fear and greed.  Greed is well understood and easy to identify; fear is a little more complex. There's fear of loss (of money, status, "values"), fear of the unknown (xenophobia), and a few more like that.  Just this simplest of understanding takes care of explaining the motivations of 80% of all Republican voters (the 80-20 rule).

And, of course, Occam's razor is being used to illustrate it.

This is where it gets complicated.  If you believe, as I do, that Wendy Davis has risen as a leader on the strength of her abilty to inspire others, then her challenge going forward -- against what would probably be the discouragement of her advisers -- is to use (for best results) either fear or greed as a method of inspiration. 

1. That's not what Democrats do (motivate by provoking base instincts). They don't have much successful experience doing it, and when they occasionally resort to it, it they rarely do so effectively.  Democrats like to think of themselves as thinkers, thus the grand policy initiatives like Davis' education proposals, released last week.  Hopeful and inspiring to many, yes, but not so much for those who haven't previously been motivated by the concept of a better educated Texas to register, or just show up and cast a ballot.  The people, in other words, who are key to Texas Democrats winning a statewide election.

2. You must discard 'greed' as a tool to motivate potential Democratic non-voters.  Republicans have already co-opted and framed it against Democrats ("these goddamn Ill Eagles and welfare queens and poverty pimps are lining up for free Obamaphones!").  See also Gohmert's latest.

3. That leaves 'fear'.  And that means harsh language.

"Do you want your kids to grow up in a Texas where everybody works for minimum wage, where there's no hope to get a good education, much less pay for it, where you go to the emergency room to find out your child has asthma, or cancer, because your air and water has been ruined by the oil and gas companies?"

"Do you want to keep buying lottery tickets as your only hope for a better future? As your only retirement investment?"

'Are you going to just sit on your couch and watch TV and say your vote won't matter, when YOUR life and the lives of your children and grandchildren are at stake?  Do you want to see your kids grow up like this... or do you want to do something to help build a better Texas for them, and your neighbors, and their kids?"

And Republicans' greed can be used against them.

"You know who that 500% interest is going to, right?  Greg Abbott and his buddies. You want to keep living like that -- payday to payday?  Never able to dig out, much less get ahead?  While they get rich off keeping you poor?"

"You know things will never get better if you don't change them, right?"

You can't have this kind of blunt conversation with a total stranger -- i.e. someone you want to register to vote, or to come to the poll during election season -- any place but in person.  It must be had at their door, or in front of the Walmart.  Or in front of the payday lending store, where you are registering voters.

It's a dirty-ass job, an Aegean stables-type job, but BGTX has to do it.  They better be doing a lot of it already.  Else 2014 is going to be exactly like 2010.

(How's that for using fear as a motivational tool?)

GOP civil war comes to Houston

Let's just hope they don't start shooting (I'm more worried about them hitting innocent bystanders than I am each other).

Harris County Judge Ed Emmett has endorsed Paul Simpson, who is challenging six-term incumbent Jared Woodfill for chairman of the Harris County Republican Party, according to the Austin political website, the Quorum Report.

Reporter Scott Braddock quotes Emmett as saying that he believes the party should be making a greater effort to reach out to young people.

“Ronald Reagan would probably not be welcome in today’s Republican Party,” Braddock quotes Emmett as saying. “I would like to see the base in Harris County to be 400,000, not 150,000.”

The QR link doesn't offer much more unless you're a subscriber.  But Greg "Rhymes With Hate" is all over it, like orange cones on the George Washington Bridge.

No really, you should click over.  It's calm, reasoned, insightful; not at all like the deranged and hyperbolic comments he occasionally leaves here. Here's an example (of the former, not the latter)...

First, the Harris County GOP is the largest local Republican Party in the United States. Any change of direction here indicates the potential for a seismic shift in the state of Texas, with the shock waves rippling out to impact the entire country. And since Emmett is the highest ranking elected official in the county, it indicates that there are powerful people here in the Houston area who are not comfortable with the direction the county party has been headed for some time.

Secondly, it is important to note that the reason for the shift is the recognition by many Republicans that the party needs to move in the direction of greater inclusivity. In recent years the party has been controlled by a social conservative faction that has recently been loathe to include anyone who is not purer than Ivory Soap in terms of their support for every jot and tittle of the Texas GOP platform. It would appear that this is a significant factor in Judge Emmett's decision to throw his support behind Paul Simpson's candidacy -- the willingness of Jared Woodfill and those who back him to leave precinct chair positions vacant rather than fill those slots with someone who Ronald Reagan would have defined as friends and allies rather than traitors to the Republican cause. Judge Emmett openly expressed his concern that men like Reagan and Barry Goldwater, a pair who were once the gold standard for what it meant to be a Republican and a conservative, would no longer be considered acceptable candidates for office (even to be precinct chairs) by the current leadership in Harris County.

The GOP, from DC to Austin to Houston, obviously has tremendous issues.  I have catalogued many permutations of the insidious conservative virus and the damage it has done in over ten-plus years of blogging here, and things have only gotten worse over that time, in direct contrast to the party's stranglehold on state politics.  This movement to push back against their ideological extremists is a noble bid for survival and relevance.  Some of them are smart enough to glimpse the future and are rightly scared about it.

I became a Republican myself in 1974, when I heard Reagan speak at a banquet I worked as a 16-year-old busboy-promoted-to-waiter in Beaumont, TX.  I stayed a Republican until Clayton Williams ran for governor against Ann Richards in 1990 (I lived in Midland at the time, Ground Zero for witnessing the carnage of William's political seppuku).  I haven't been anywhere near the party in the twenty-four years since for easily discernible reasons, among them that they have only coarsened in the years since Claytie's rape joke -- meaner, more obnoxious, more fascist, and more irrelevant to people's daily lives.

Any movement by Republicans to try to pull their party away from the right and back to the center (in other words, to the left) is something I cannot oppose.  So I wish Judge Emmett and Mr. Simpson well in their endeavor and will watch these developments closely.

I have no idea -- and frankly don't care -- if Simpson is who Emmett thinks he is, or if he can accomplish what he says.  That isn't what matters at this point.  He's got to get elected first.

And to that end, this small internecine skirmish in the grand scheme is a little ripple in a big pond.  The overarching point is that America actually benefits from a sane Republican Party, if for no other reason than such a development would force the Democratic Party to keep practicing kaizen by trending left, an encouraging development in and of itself.

So I'll wish them luck because it's an extremely tough task they have ahead.  If they lose, the GOP keeps hurtling down the road to extinction (that's not necessarily bad if you're a Blue-ish-Green partisan like I am today, but "devil-you-know" and all that).  In the meantime -- if you're a conservative that doesn't like one of the two factions of the GOP, be it moderate or extreme -- you might consider going to see Gary Johnson, the 2012 Libertarian presidential nominee, speak in Austin, Houston, or San Antonio next week.

The most influence to be had by voters dissatisfied with the lesser of two options is to help a third voice grow louder.  That is the most effective protest vote a person can cast.

Update: Holly Jolly is a little puffed up over this post, but what's noteworthy is the careful drawing of his toe across the sand between the two conservative factions, who sound ready to go at each others' throats.  First, from Woodfill's e-mail, firing back against Simpson.

‘CONSERVATIVE’ REPUBLICAN COUNTY LEADERS SUPPORT WOODFILL

Judge Robert Eckels, Commissioners Cagle, Morman, and Tax Assessor Mike Sullivan ENDORSE Jared Woodfill

It’s unanimous – conservative county leadership only trusts one man to continue leading the Harris County Republican Party (HCRP) – Jared Woodfill.  Why change what works? Conservative leaders like Woodfill do not come often, and there is a reason he has served longer than any other predecessor – he does the right thing, and he does the right thing effectively.

What is significant here is that Jolly himself has called out Woodfill for his leadership of the party and supported challengers Simpson and Ed Hubbard against Woodfill in the past.  Apparently not this time, though.

For anyone that thinks yesterday’s sloppy release of Ed Emmett’s endorsement of Paul Simpson was a game changer, think again. Communication skills are arguably the biggest part of the Chairs job in the HCRP and Jared Woodfill excels at that portion of the job.

If you are a conservative Republican, and most Harris County Republicans are conservative, which lead do you follow? It was a huge mistake for the Simpson campaign to give talking points to the left media and bloggers in their attempt to oust the chair of the very conservative Harris County Republican Party.

This much I know: cheerleading for Simpson and Emmett from far-left vulgar bloggers isn’t going to help their cause. And advice from moderate Republicans to disavow social issues will, if heeded, result in losing elections and destroy the party. There is a balance that must be maintained between all factions of our coalition – dropping any of the factions is bad advice.

Dave: for the record, nobody who is a Republican -- with the notable exception of Burt Levine -- has ever given me anything but shit, just like you.  (But hey, thanks for the traffic!)

Moderates versus Tea Party.  The country clubbers against the kooks.  It's going to be fun watching them sort themselves out.

Christie. Over.

I just thought he was done yesterday morning.  By yesterday afternoon, he was crisped.

New details in the New Jersey traffic scandal that implicates people close to Governor Chris Christie show that the lane closures at the George Washington Bridge happened for political reasons, and on the same day, The Bergen Record has a new report saying that a 91-year-old woman died because of the traffic.

On four separate occasions, emergency responders were reportedly unable to respond to a situation due to the gridlock, and response time “doubled” in just two of those cases.

EMS coordinator Paul Favia made Fort Lee Mayor Mark Sokolich aware of these concerns in a letter last September, which included the 91-year-old woman who they could not get to in time.

It also took EMS seven minutes to reach an unconscious 91-year-old woman who later died of cardiac arrest at a hospital. Although he did not say her death was directly caused by the delays, Favia noted that “paramedics were delayed due to heavy traffic on Fort Lee Road and had to meet the ambulance en-route to the hospital instead of on the scene.”

Yeah, Christie was kept in the dark about a political vendetta.  It's not like the Cincinnatti IRS office, where Obama kept close track of every detail.

Jon Stewart still doesn't think so, but he might just be kidding around.  Hugh Hewitt thinks Christie can save himself, but I don't think there's a life preserver big enough to fit around the guy.

Say hello to Scott Walker of Wisconsin, gubernatorial-loving Republicans desiring a 2016 candidate without the negativity of Ted Cruz or Rand Paul.

Catch-up (not Ketchup)

-- Hat tip to Rep. Wu for the condiment theme.

If Srircha comes to Texas. Location MUST be settled by legislative cook-off. #txlege http://t.co/PYmzRsNRJQ
— Gene Wu (@GeneforTexas) January 8, 2014

-- I'll be reading the book about Roger Ailes, but I probably won't read Bob Gates' book.  I agree with others who say that Gates is providing an assist to Hillary Clinton's presidential aspirations by throwing a brick at Joe Biden.

Gates wrote: “I found her smart, idealistic but pragmatic, tough-minded, indefatigable, funny, a very valuable colleague, and a superb representative of the United States all over the world.”

And at Gates’ farewell ceremony in 2011, he had high praise for Clinton, saying she’s become a cherished colleague and a good friend.

That makes his criticism of anybody else's decisions being influenced by politics thoroughly suspect.

-- Speaking of political machinations... Chris Christie is so over.

Then again, maybe this bridge thing is a Sopranos-style enhancement to his presidential aspirations.  Who can ever tell what the GOP values any more?

-- The dirty laundry about Florida Republican Congressman Bill Young, who died last October, is now being aired by his two families, and the stench is putrid.

Young had three children with his first wife, Marian, before divorcing her in 1985 to wed his 26-year-old secretary, Beverly, with whom he'd fathered a child while still married to Marian. (Young was 51 at the time.)

Young somehow kept the affair out of the papers (thanks in part to a quiescent media) and ensured Marian's silence with a lifetime alimony payment of $2,000 a month. He also rarely saw the kids he'd raised with Marian and stopped initiating contact in 1986. Young's first family, it seemed, had disappeared and few knew of its existence. But this all came to light at Young's funeral last fall, when Robert, one of his sons by way of Beverly, acknowledged his half-siblings at the end of his eulogy, admitting he didn't even know their surnames but later saying he "didn't think it was fair that they weren't being noticed."

This, my friends, barely begins to tell the story. Among the many eyebrow-raising details, few things come through more powerfully than what a horrible, horrible human being Bev Young is. My skin crawled to read her nasty comments about her husband's children. Terry Young, she said, is only speaking up now because he's "trying to get rid of his guilt for being a horrible son."

Of course he voted to impeach Bill Clinton over an extramarital blowjob.  Just when you think Republican family values can't sink any lower...

-- One last frozen toon before the thaw.

Abbott escorted the loansharks into Texas in '06

Matt Angle waves to the media and says, "Over here, folks. The ballgame has moved back onto the playing field".

Greg Abbott’s office issued the key document that has allowed payday lenders to operate outside of Texas usury laws and exploit Texans across our state. A letter issued from the office of the Attorney General carefully lays out that payday lenders in Texas can take advantage of a loophole used by credit service organizations to avoid Texas laws preventing unscrupulous lending. It is essentially a “how-to guide” for payday lenders to expand and grow their predatory lending businesses.

Payday lenders had been nervous about expanding their operations in Texas, but Abbott’s letter gave them the go-ahead they needed. The respected financial industry publication American Banker reported how payday lender Ace reacted to the Abbott letter:

"The Irving, Tex., company originally saw too much legal risk in the CSO setup, in which payday specialists can collect as much as 20% in fees for arranging a short-term loan from a third-party lender. But this month Texas' attorney general, Greg Abbott, sent a letter to the state's Office of Consumer Credit Commissioner saying that CSOs are permissible. So on an earnings conference call last week Ace said it will begin brokering loans as a credit service organization sometime in the next two quarters." (American Banker, February 1, 2006)

The El Paso Times, once more, shows the Hearst affiliates locally how to cover the news.

State Sen. Wendy Davis is highlighting a 2006 letter by the office of Attorney General Greg Abbott that says there are no limits to the fees that payday lenders can charge.

Davis said the letter, which was written in a response to an inquiry by former state Sen. Eliot Shapleigh of El Paso, set the stage for an explosion of high-interest lending that critics say exploits the poor.

[...]

Abbott's campaign did not respond to a request for comment on Monday. It also has not responded when asked for more than a week whether Abbott believes the Texas payday lending industry needs to be reformed.

This is also top-notch explanatory journalism.

The concept of usury -- unconscionably high interest rates -- goes at least as far back as the Old Testament.

It's also part of the Texas Constitution, which says that in the absence of legislation, interest rates in the state are limited to 10 percent a year.

Lenders that are licensed and regulated under Texas law face caps of their own. Commercial loans in most instances can't exceed 18 percent except when the loan is greater than $250,000, when they can't exceed 28 percent.

Auto loans can't exceed 27 percent. Short-term loans by licensed lenders can't exceed 150 percent and pawn loans can't exceed 240 percent.

But the letter by the attorney general that was released Monday said fees associated with payday and title loans have no limits.

So what Abbott did not only violates the Texas Constitution... but the Bible, too.  That reality is going to rock his Christian army's world.

Please, go read the whole thing.  So when you see former conservative bloggers who consider themselves devout Catholics taking up the cause of the poor, picked-on payday lenders in the comments of what's left of the sagging Houston conservative blogosphere... you know that desperation has really set it.

Now if you want the straight story, no spin, then read Wayne Slater.  If Abbott and company really wanted to say something truthful and still damaging about Davis in this matter, then they would point out that she's taken money from payday lenders also.  About one-tenth the amount he has.

Bay Area Houston skewers it again, much to the cringing rage of other sad-sack Christian conservative blogging Republicans (the small caucus of those without a shred of common sense).

The Frigid Wrangle

The Texas Progressive Alliance is turning up the thermostat as it brings you this week's roundup.

Off the Kuff ponders the potential political future of Houston mayor Annise Parker.

A Green candidate's long-distance bid for Congress got picked up by the mainstream media, just a week after PDiddie at Brains and Eggs blogged about it. The story raises the larger issue of whether Texas might benefit from a jungle primary for Congressional seats, as occurs in California, Louisiana, and Washington state. And that's an open question.

Texpatriate published a brief summation of 2013's major political events.

Eye On Williamson posts on the three Texas Republican money men who passed away last year: Texas GOP lost three sugar daddies.

CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme hopes that the La Villa school district and the city end their water dispute. The kids suffer enough under Republican rule; why add to their misery?

Neil at All People Have Value started off the New Year with the message that the work of freedom is up to each of us. All People Have Value is part of NeilAquino.com.

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And here are some posts of interest from other Texas blogs.

Jason Stanford tells Texas Democrats to embrace their underdog status.

The Texas Living Waters Project reviewed the year in water news, and Texas Clean Air Matters did the same for Texas air quality news.

Lone Star Ma explains what "bubble kids" are and what they have to do with the classroom instruction other kids get.

New Media Texas gives four reasons why blacks should support immigration reform.

Nancy Sims looks ahead to November.

SciGuy lists the top five stargazing events for 2014.

Juanita Jean wonders if David Dewhurst knows what day of the week it is.