Sunday Choose Funnies

"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." -- Rush

Texas Republican Douchebags of the Week

First Place, going away: our gloriously good-haired governor and his massive, big-footed flip flops.

-- Had Anita deliver the shiv to Dave Carney, replacing him with Joe Allbaugh, who ran W's successful (sic) 2000 campaign.

-- "It's fun to poke at" President Obama about the long-past-its-expiration-date birth certificate non-issue, but "it's a distractive issue".

-- Needs to spend more time in Iowa romancing voters one-on-one, so he will be appearing in a lot fewer debates. Update: Whoops. No, he won't.

-- That flat tax plan? Not so much. Gotta get off that Confederate license plate thingie, too.

-- Poll numbers sagging into Bachmann territory, he drags the money bag around California. Is more money really going to help this guy now? Oh yeah; it can't hurt any worse.

And this is actually a better week for Rick Perry than he's been having.

Runner-up: Congressman Michael McCaul, who alas won't run for the US Senate. Because the Rich White Guy Caucus is already well enough represented by David Dewhurst and Tom Leppert. Speaking of Dewface...

Show: ...he comes in third by virtue of his carefully following the Rick Perry 2010 campaign lead and making his Senate '12 race all about Obama. 

Fourth (in the money for those holding superfecta tickets): Herman Cain, riding high atop the national polls and cashing in on the strength of his haunting television ad and the Internet meme it has spawned. Earns honorary Texan status by virtue of his rally with the Clear Lake Tea Party, 3000 strong showing up at the dog track in La Marque to see, hear, and buy his book. If he were a real Texan he might have come in first with this effort.

Place your bets for the next Battle of the Douchebags, ladies and gentlemen. Post time in one week.

Is this what they are talking about?

You know, those roughly 50% of Americans who do not vote who say things like 'Republicans and Democrats are all the same'?

The king of natural gas will be dining with the First Lady.

On November 1st, Michelle Obama will headline a fundraiser hosted by the the young billionaire (via a Houston Chronicle blog).

From the piece:

"The super-wealthy hedge fund manager and his wife will introduce Obama to individuals who paid $10,000 for the privilege or couples who paid $15,000."

Arnold manages Centaurus Advisors.

You remember John Arnold, don't you? He founded Centaurus with his Enron bonus from 2001, which was the year before Enron collapsed under the weight of its scams.

Now he and his wife are tackling pension 'reform' (sic) in California.

John D. Arnold, a former Enron Corp. trader in Texas who became a billionaire by buying and selling natural gas, is bankrolling a group supporting changes to limit California’s pension-fund obligations.

Arnold, who formed hedge fund Centaurus Advisors LLC in Houston after leaving Enron, started a foundation that Meredith Simonton, a spokeswoman, said has given $150,000 to the California group.

The organization set up by Arnold and his wife, Laura, a lawyer, plans to be involved in pension-overhaul efforts around the U.S., Simonton said by telephone from Houston. State and local governments confront “massive financial distress” from the gap between assets and promised benefits, she said.

Let's count the six degrees of separation: Michelle Obama, John and Laura Arnold, Enron (Ken Lay, Jeffrey Skilling, Andy Fastow, et.al.), George W. Bush.

Whoops. That's only four.

Anybody still confused about what OWS is all about?

Update: CA Gov. Brown seek sweeping pension rollbacks. It's not just for Wisconsin any more.

Update II: POLITICO's Julie Mason (formerly of the Houston Chron) picks up the story.

An upcoming Houston fundraiser featuring first lady Michelle Obama at the home of a former Enron executive who is part of a movement to convert public pensions to 401(k)-style plans is angering some local Democrats.[...]

Gayle Fallon, president of the Houston Federation of Teachers, called the 401(k) proposal "very frightening for teachers." She noted the nose dive many retirement plans took in the stock market in 2008, saying, "What if I was retired and that happened?"

"My people supported Obama big-time in 2008," Fallon said. "This is not helping." [...]

Art Pronin, a Houston Democratic activist, said, "This just got my dander up."

"Does Obama support converting teacher pensions to 401(k)'s? I doubt it," said Pronin, president of his neighborhood Democratic club. "This is creating a lot of consternation in Democratic circles, and it's going to make it that much harder to get the vote out next year politically."

Local activists, including the Houston chapter of Occupy Wall Street, are considering some kind of protest of the first lady's event. Meanwhile, the local teachers' union is working to educate members about the pension campaign.

"We need street action that will make Wisconsin look like a picnic," Fallon said.

Update III (Monday 10/31): Thanks to Matt B. in the comments for the news on Halloween -- the day before the event -- that the First Lady will not be attending and the fundraiser will be "rescheduled at a later date".

Anita Perry brutalizes Dave Carney

Maybe you missed it. It's being called a 'campaign shake-up'. WaPo's Right Turn:

Time’s Mark Halperin reported yesterday that Texas Gov. Rick Perry is bringing in two nationally known GOP insiders, Nelson Warfield and Curt Anderson, to help turn around his ailing campaign. Halperin writes, “In some ways, the Texan’s original, relatively small team had been overwhelmed by the demands of getting a campaign up and running.” 

Burka has the skinny.

An advisor to Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R) tells [Politico's] Ben Smith that the Texas governor has reassembled the team that helped run Scott’s “unlikely, big-spending, and successful 2010 campaign.”

It’s about time. It is my understanding that Anita Perry was the driving force who insisted upon a reorganization.

She's on a mission from God, you see. After the brutalizing her man took at the hands of ... well ... everybody, something had to be done. Which gives me the opportunity to insert this barely-a-sequitur, starring Mandy Patinkin as Governor Goodhair, fresh off the farm in Paint Creek or maybe the campus of Texas A&M University.



Back to the story.

It is hardly surprising that Perry has decided to shake up his campaign staff. (For some time Right Turn has suggested a major overhaul of Perry’s campaign would be in order.) A GOP operative told me last night, “I had heard about a week ago that there was a move to get rid of Dave Carney. This was almost 100% predictable given the collapse of the Perry campaign. Plus, when Perry was deciding if he should run, Carney had made assurances to him that he could do very well in New Hampshire.” Perry is now in the low single digits there. Carney is expected to remain on the campaign but plainly has lost his perch as the top campaign guru.

Sure enough ...

Joe Allbaugh, who headed George W. Bush’s presidential campaign and served as director of FEMA in the Bush administration (pre-Katrina), will hold the title of Senior Adviser in the Perry campaign. He specifically did not want a title that suggested he was in charge of the campaign (although he is).

Allbaugh seems to have a good sense of timing: bailing out of FEMA right before Hurricane Katrina -- leaving the debacle to Heckuva Job Brownie -- and now parachuting in to a Perry campaign that may or may not be swirling the drain. If things go well he gets the credit, if they don't Rick Perry still gets the blame.

The house-cleaning comes just before Perry’s major policy rollout Tuesday, and to a large extent, will dominate political coverage. Why release the news now? Well, given a choice between being overshadowed by a staff shakeup and having the press focus on Perry’s bizarre interview on birtherism and secession, I suppose the former seems preferable. Interestingly, the shakeup follows Perry’s meetings with K Street lobbyists, an effort to staunch concern about his campaign. It may have been essential for Perry to demonstrate swiftly that he understands the campaign’s dire straits and is willing to shove aside even longtime aides to get his campaign on track.

Warfield was Bob Dole’s press secretary in his 1996 presidential campaign, and he acquired a reputation for a sharp tongue and pointed humor. Interestingly, in that capacity Warfield led the attack on Steve Forbes’s flat tax. Forbes is now a Perry adviser, and a flat tax will be part of Perry’s policy initiative unveiled Tuesday. Back in 1996, the Dole campaign criticized a flat tax as a “soak the middle class” plan that would increase the deficit. Presumably, that experience will help Warfield fend off attacks on the flat tax plan Forbes developed for Perry.

Warfield also spent time on the ill-fated Fred Thompson 2008 presidential campaign. He joined in June 2007 and jumped off the sinking ship in October. More recently, Warfield worked on Rick Scott’s successful Florida gubernatorial campaign, during which the candidate used the illegal immigration issue to savage primary opponent Bill McCullough. ...

Let's finish with Burka again.

The first thing Allbaugh ought to do is send Perry to Dallas to apologize for badmouthing W. all over the country.

Yeah, that oughta fix things right up.

Weekly Early Voting Wrangle

The Texas Progressive Alliance provides you with all the information you need to cast your ballot early -- beginning today -- in the Houston municipal and educational elections. There are also ten Texas constitutional amendments on your ballot. Rep. Scott Hochberg provides in-depth background on each.

Here are early voting locations and hours for those voting in Houston (.pdf, 1 page).

Here's the League of Women Voters guide to all candidates on the ballot in Houston (.pdf, 51 pages).

As previously posted here, your progressive voter's guide for Houston municipal candidates is here (Jolanda Jones ... or Bob Ryan, but only if you just have to vote for a Republican), here (Annise Parker, Don Cook, and Karen Derr), here (Kristi Thibaut or Jenifer Rene Pool, and Amy Price and Larry Green), here (Melissa Noriega, Bob Schoellkopf, Wanda Adams, Peter Rene'), and here (Ronald Green, Ed Gonzalez, James Rodriguez, and Mike Laster).

Here is more on the status of the mayor's race, and more on the developments in District C.

And here is the roundup of TPA blog posts, the best from last week.

Off the Kuff has information about the interim redistricting maps that the federal court in San Antonio will be considering.

Letters From Texas discusses Republicans not understanding basic biology, which is why some candidates might not even realize that they're advocating banning birth control. Much worse, others do understand it.

Several Houston city council candidates earned the coveted PDiddie endorsement. Pick up your progressive voting guide at Brains and Eggs.

As early voting for the November constitutional amendment election gets started, WCNews at Eye On Williamson says Vote No on Prop 4 - the latest transportation scheme.

Libby Shaw says it best in Rick Perry: A Right Wing Wrecking Machine . She compares the degrees of diaster that separate Perry from Romney. The result is a "how low can you go" contest that America can't afford, not when one of these mean-spirited clowns could be the next American President. See her post at TexasKaos.

Neil at Texas Liberal continues to blog about and to support Occupy Houston and Occupy Wall Street.