Extra Sunday Funnies

TeaBaggin' bloggers fellate Rick Perry's gun barrel and boots

I couldn't make up shit this crazy if I tried with all my might and smoked heroin too:

Gov. Perry looked over at me and asked if I wanted to squeeze off a few rounds with his personal handgun. I jumped at the chance. So there we are, Gov. Perry and I, squeezed into a 5′ wide alley ... and the next thing I know, Gov. Perry has cocked and loaded his handgun, and hands it to me and says, “It’s live.”

There I am, standing no more than 6-9″ from the Governor of Texas, holding his loaded handgun. ...

-- Robbie "Douchebag" Cooper

During his speech, at one point the Governor hoisted his leg up onto the table, lifted up his pant leg to reveal his specially made leather boots with a cannon and insignia "Come and Take It!." He pointed to Andrew and said this is what the spirit of Texas is all about.

-- Eric Dondero, "Yes, that really is the Governor himself who Tweats"

Don't miss the photos of all the TeaBagging, circle-jerking conservatives shooting their wads.

If you ever really wondered why Texas is so screwed up, you have a small bit of raw, naked evidence at those links.

Thanks, Governor Perry.

Sunday Funnies

Playoff football

I don't think they realize that they have already lost (and it was the Super Bowl).

Time for a new coach, and a new quarterback, and training for next season.

Wilson off the ballot, Sylvia in big trouble

-- Homophobe Dave Wilson is disallowed from being a Democratic candidate, and we're all appreciative of that.

The 14th Court of Appeals in Houston has denied a request for a place on the March Democratic primary ballot from a would-be challenger to Precinct 4 Commissioner Jerry Eversole.

Sign company owner Dave Wilson sought to run for the Democratic nomination for commissioner. Because no other Republican or Democratic candidates filed to run, Wilson would have faced Eversole in November. ...

Wilson filed a writ of mandamus last week seeking to be placed on the ballot. The appeals panel denied his petition late Wednesday. Wilson said he has not given up and intends to file an appeal with a state district court today.

“I'm disappointed, but not surprised, that the 14th Court of Appeals has made a political ruling rather than one based on the law,” Wilson said, speculating that the court's motive is to protect Republican office seekers.

Allen Blakemore, a political consultant for Eversole, said of the court's decision, “It means that the commissioner is re-elected and excited about that and excited to dispense with politics and get back to the business of roads and bridges and parks and libraries and all of the business of Precinct 4.”

The only larger schmucks in this matter are Eversole and his attorney Blakemore, whom we're still stuck with.

--Meanwhile over in Chambers County, Judge Jimmy Sylvia -- apparently by enjoining his son Jimbo in an employment fraud that is Sopranos-worthy -- is in big trouble for allegedly bilking FEMA out of a boatload of taxpayer money. Wayne Dolcefino (via Bay Area H-Town) did the deed:



Read these two previous entries about my meeting with Sylvia in 2006. It appears there's going to be some music to face for the county judge and his son in this matter. FWIW Sylvia was a Democrat for many years but switched to the GOP in 2007 -- just like some other exurban Texas county officials -- in order to hang onto his job.

-- Update: John links to Dolcefino's second nightly newcast explaining how the scandal is spreading to other Chambers County officials. And here is part three.

SCOTUS removes campaign spending limits on corporations

You know, it's been a really shitty week for justice and democracy.

In a stunning reversal of the nation's federal campaign finance laws, the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 Thursday that as an exercise of free speech, corporations, labor unions and other groups can directly spend on political campaigns.

Siding with filmmakers of "Hillary: The Movie", who were challenged by the Federal Election Commission on their sources of cash to pay for the film, the court overturned a 20-year-old ruling that banned corporate and labor money. The decision threatens similar limits imposed by 24 states.

The justices also struck down part of the landmark McCain-Feingold campaign finance bill that barred union- and corporate-paid issue ads in the closing days of election campaigns.

Because, after all, corporations are people too, and they need First Amendment protection like any other living, breathing person.

The ruling is sure to send a jolt to political campaigns throughout the country that are gearing up for the 2010 midterm elections. It will also impact the 2012 presidential race and federal elections to come. ...

It also undercuts recent congressional legislation mandating tighter controls on political donations that had restricted the flow of corporate dollars into the political system.

Some other opinions of the ruling:

The ruling marks the boldest step yet for Roberts and fellow George W. Bush appointee Alito, who previously had shied away from explicitly reversing precedents. The majority overturned a 1990 Supreme Court decision that said corporations can be barred from using general treasury funds to pay for campaign advertisements.

-- BusinessWeek

Today’s decision in Citizens United v. FEC abolishes the previously settled distinction between corporate and individual expenditures in American elections and would appear to apply to state and local elections as well as Federal ones given that the Court recognizes such a First Amendment right. This is literally an earth shattering change in the lay of the land in campaign finance, and it will have ramifications in every way imaginable for the foreseeable future.

-- emptywheel at firedoglake

If you like Congressional gridlock and insider politics, then you'll love this decision. If you think the lobbyists for the banks, insurance firms, and oil companies need more power, you'll love this decision. But if you value fairness, democracy and the free speech of ordinary citizens, this is a disaster. It is an immoral decision that puts the Roberts' Court on the side of Wall Street and the big money lobbyists against the interests of Main Street America.

-- Nick Nyhart of Public Citizen

Update: Olbermann spells it out.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Killer Keller skates

Because "public humiliation" is punishment enough for her.

A special master has concluded that Texas Court of Criminal Appeals Presiding Judge Sharon Keller doesn't deserve to be removed from office or even given “further reprimand beyond the public humiliation she has surely suffered” for her conduct in a death row inmate's failed effort to file a last-minute appeal before his execution. San Antonio-based District Judge David Berchelmann Jr., serving as special master in the case of alleged judicial misconduct, wrote that the Texas Defender Service in representing Michael Richard “bears the bulk of fault for what occurred on September 25, 2007.”

Unbe-fucking-lievable. Here's her attorney:

"Judge Keller takes to heart the advice that she should strive to be more collegial and that the Court's internal communications should improve," (attorney Chip) Babcock's statement said.

'More collegial'.

Grits:

Interesting to note that "public humiliation" is a substitute for an official reprimand when a judge engages in behavior that's "not exemplary of a public servant" and considered "highly questionable." ... Judge Berchelmann's recommendation will now go to the full Commission on Judicial Conduct who will decide whether to dismiss charges, reprimand Keller, or recommend her removal from office.

And Elise Hu:

The timing of (death row defendant Michael) Richard's last-minute appeal was especially key in this case. He was set to be executed the same day the U.S. Supreme Court stayed all executions in the country after it decided to hear Baze v. Rees, which questioned whether lethal injection constituted cruel and unusual punishment. The SCJC review says Richard's execution would have likely been stayed too, but his lawyers had to exhaust the lethal injection argument in state courts first. The claim was never presented to the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals, which Keller leads, after a series of miscommunications between her court and lawyers from the defender service. A key miscommunication had to do with the message about the early closing time.

I gotta say I'm speechless. A compilation from the StandDown Texas Project for the history of this case is here and my previous postings are here.

Updates:  More astounded reactions. Othniel ...

Equality under the Law?
Due Process for all?
Not in Texas. More process than is due to and superior standing under the law is accorded to Chief Judge Keller than to litigants before her.  Apparently those who dare approach her Court seeking Justice enjoy neither equality nor due process.  She cannot be bothered to keep open the Court House door after 5:00 p.m., even though a defendant's life hang in the balance.

WSJ Law Blog (the most conservative source I would ever post):

Well, we weren’t entirely sure that Sharon Keller, the presiding judge the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals, was going to get in big trouble over the events of Sept. 25, 2007.

But we hardly expected that the special master presiding over the judicial misconduct charges against Keller would blame another party for the unfortunate series of events. Or that the master, San Antonio-based judge David Berchelmann Jr., would express sympathy for Keller.

Texas Cloverleaf:

Ethics in Texas is never really ethical, and this case is no different. Judge Sharon Keller closed her office promptly at 5pm and allowed a man to be executed, rather than accepting the appeal. ...

Republican judges saving Republican judges. Ahhhh the ethics of Texas. Way to go, impartial judiciary.