Satire-too-close-to-reality Friday

I threw in a little irony-you-wish-wasn't-real and a couple of non-sequiturs for good measure.

SNL's Weekend Update took on President Obama's decision to exclude Fox News from his Sunday media tour last night. Despite granting interviews to ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and Univision he left Fox off his roster ... (the cast) took on specific aspects of Beck's character: his propensity to misspell things, to use that muppet-like voice, and, of course, invoke Hitler.

-- BREAKING: Democrats Hoping To Take Control Of Congress From Republican Minority In 2010

-- Thank goodness that Senate Finance Committee Democrats Max Baucus and Tom Carper and Bob Menendez are looking out for the prescription drug companies and not those evil seniors trying to buy meds.

-- Finally, be aware that earlier this week Republicans at last discovered the secret that pornography makes people gay. And of course it then follows that gay marriage is socialist. Extending this out to its illogical conclusion, Larry Flynt is quite obviously a Stalinist.

"Either the scientists are wrong, or Texas is wrong."

" ...and we all know that Texans just aren’t wrong.”

No, not Rick Perry. Not John Cornyn. Not even Michelle Bachmann or Glenn Beck.

Nope. It was Todd Staples (speaking right after the governor blew his own stupid, however):

The governor’s harsh remarks opened a daylong joint meeting of the Public Utility Commission of Texas, the Texas Railroad Commission and the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality to discuss the potential impact of the climate bill. Texas, the second-most populous state, leads the nation in carbon emissions, with 676 million tons of carbon-dioxide emissions from fossil-fuel combustion in 2007. The state also leads the nation in oil and natural gas production, petroleum refining and petrochemical manufacturing. All are heavy emitters of carbon dioxide.

Perry’s denunciation of the Waxman-Markey bill seemed timed to coincide with a conference at the United Nations today in which President Obama and President Hu Jintao of China pledged action on reducing carbon emissions. Perry’s talk underscored the uphill battle the legislation faces in the Senate.

Under Waxman-Markey, industries will ultimately be required to pay a fee for carbon emissions, under a regime similar to that currently in place for other airborne pollutants. Opponents of the bill contend that such a policy is tantamount to a new energy tax.

“This misguided piece of legislation would essentially be the single largest tax in the history of our nation,” Perry said. “These energy taxes will cause every product that uses energy to become more expensive.”

“If the United States Senate were to take leave of its senses and pass this bill, it would precipitate an economic disaster in the state of Texas.”

But leave it to the state's commissioner to agriculture to top that.

Just when you think you've had your last breath taken away by the arrogant ignorance of a Texas Republican, another one comes along and says, in his best Darwin-Award-winning challenge, "Hey! Watch this!"

Everything is bigger here and that goes for fools too. Look for more of this nonsense as Waxman-Markey takes center stage in right-wing nuttery Fauxtrage.

Save our poor picked-on health insurance companies!

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

After all, no health insurance company should be forced to sacrifice one penny of their billions in profits just because sick Americans need health care.

Besides Ferrell, you may recognize Jon Hamm of "Mad Men," Olivia Wilde of "House," Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant of "Reno 911," Masi Oka of "Heroes," Jordana Spiro of "My Boys," Linda Cardellini of "ER," and Donald Faison of "Scrubs."

Kay Bailey sucker-punched Gov. MoFo with the video edit

I didn't think she had it in her, frankly. KHOU first ...

A spokesperson for Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison confirmed that her campaign videotaped a speech by Gov. Rick Perry in Houston Thursday, and released a section of video in which the Governor questioned whether Texas is in a recession. ...

Laughter can be heard in the room, and then the tape stops.

... and then Burka:

After Perry asks, “Are we in one?” — referring to a recession — and the laughter, Perry says:

But seriously, the fact is that because we have positioned ourselves so well economically, we’re going to be the first state that starts showing that major recovery, and the rest of the states will follow [behind us? beside us?] whenever that is going to be.

The tape was unquestionably edited after “Are we in one?” to eliminate the words, “but seriously….”

Yep. That was a solid kick to the groan. And Burka is correct that we'll all remember the governor's gaffe and not the senator's trick.

Jason Embry notes that it's game on, again from the elitist perspective, in both camps:

A race between two well-funded — I mean, really well-funded — politicians for an office this big would be heated no matter the personal relationship of the candidates. And yet it can’t help matters that, if you listen closely, it’s clear that Perry and Hutchison each feel that the other has no business running. You could say that each has expressed a certain entitlement to the Republican nomination.

Expect some solid counter-punching shortly from the girly-man, especially in the wake of polling that shows Kay Bailey back in the lead.

The Weekly Wrangle

The fall is upon us, and so the Texas Progressive Alliance closes out another summer with some more hot blogging.

Halliburton was fracking for Cabot and...Oh Oops! We Spilled Some! TWICE! Deadly Hydraulic Fracture Fluid! Ironically, industry just released part of their $80 million propaganda campaign asking people to submit "Eureka" moments. From TXsharon at Bluedaze: DRILLING REFORM FOR TEXAS.

Congressman "Deer in the headlights" Pete Olson (R-TX) gets called out at his town hall meeting and the police are called in! Johncoby at Bay Area Houston posts the deets.

The Texas Cloverleaf wonders when police departments will enter the 21st century. A San Antonio lesbian couple sues in federal court over blatant harassment in their own home.

This week at McBlogger, Mayor McSleaze took the time out of his life to educate you people on some things going on around the country.

CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme notes Rick Perry won't admit execution might have been a mistake. To be a Republican is never to say you're sorry.

At Texas Vox, nuclear energy and economic experts explain just how much is at stake with the South Texas Nuclear Project expansion: the entire San Antonio economy.

Off the Kuff takes note of some hot judge-on-prosecutor action going on at the Court of Criminal Appeals.

Neil at Texas Liberal ran a one-minute video this week, filmed in front of hurricane remembrances in Galveston, Texas, in which he made a plea for folks to be aware of the past.

Kay Bailey has two purse boys, and Rick Perry is unaware there is a recession. Sometimes the cluelessness and utter hypocrisy of Texas Republicans still amazes the cynical PDiddie at Brains and Eggs.

WhosPlayin had video of parents handing all kinds of hell to Lewisville ISD board and administration over banning the Obama pep talk. Perhaps the bigger story though is that like many other school districts in the state, the financial situation looks bleak for the coming year.

Over at Texas Kaos, Bulldog reminds us that health care -- like national defense -- is NOT about profit, but about the security of the American people. She tells her story and does it well in Health Care Rambling.

Henry Gibson, Patrick Swayze, and Mary Travers

Gibson, who more recently played a recurring role as cantankerous Judge Clark Brown on "Boston Legal," was part of the original ensemble cast of “Laugh In,” which ran ... from 1968 to 1973. ...

In the show's famous cocktail party scenes, when the music would stop and each cast member would deliver a funny line, Gibson was a religious figure holding a teacup and saucer. "My congregation supports all denominations," he said on one show, "but our favorites are twenties and fifties."

But Gibson was best known as the poet, holding a large flower and beginning his brief recitations with his signature catchphrase, "A poem, by Henry Gibson." ...

Gibson also played an Illinois Nazi in "The Blues Brothers," a menacing neighbor in "The 'Burbs" and a priest in "The Wedding Crashers." He also was the voice of Wilbur the Pig in the animated "Charlotte's Web."

A three-time Golden Globe nominee, Swayze became a star with his performance as the misunderstood bad boy Johnny Castle in "Dirty Dancing." ... It became an international phenomenon in the summer of 1987, spawning albums, an Oscar-winning hit song in "(I've Had) the Time of My Life," stage productions and a sequel, 2004's "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights," in which he made a cameo.

Swayze performed and co-wrote a song on the soundtrack, the ballad "She's Like the Wind," inspired by his wife, Lisa Niemi. The film also gave him the chance to utter the now-classic line, "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."

Swayze followed that up with the 1989 action flick "Road House," in which he played a bouncer at a rowdy bar. But it was his performance in 1990's "Ghost" that showed his vulnerable, sensitive side. He starred as a murdered man trying to communicate with his fiancee ( Demi Moore) – with great frustration and longing – through a psychic played by Whoopi Goldberg.

Swayze said at the time that he fought for the role of Sam Wheat (director Jerry Zucker wanted Kevin Kline) but once he went in for an audition and read six scenes, he got it.

Why did he want the part so badly? "It made me cry four or five times," he said of Bruce Joel Rubin's Oscar-winning script in an AP interview.

"Ghost" provided yet another indelible musical moment: Swayze and Moore sensually molding pottery together to the strains of the Righteous Brothers' "Unchained Melody." It also earned a best-picture nomination and a supporting-actress Oscar for Goldberg, who said she wouldn't have won if it weren't for Swayze.

"When I won my Academy Award, the only person I really thanked was Patrick," Goldberg said in March 2008 on the ABC daytime talk show "The View."

Swayze himself earned three Golden Globe nominations, for "Dirty Dancing," "Ghost" and 1995's "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar," which further allowed him to toy with his masculine image. The role called for him to play a drag queen on a cross-country road trip alongside Wesley Snipes and John Leguizamo.

His heartthrob status almost kept him from being considered for the role of Vida Boheme.

"I couldn't get seen on it because everyone viewed me as terminally heterosexually masculine-macho," he told The Associated Press then. But he transformed himself so completely that when his screen test was sent to Steven Spielberg, whose Amblin pictures produced "To Wong Foo," Spielberg didn't recognize him.

There was also this number, with the late Chris Farley, from SNL:

Though their music sounded serene, Peter, Paul and Mary represented the frustration and upheaval of the 1960s, as a generation of liberal activists used their music not only to protest political policies, but also to spark social change. And even as the issues changed, and the fiery protests abated, the group remained immersed in musical activism. ...



The trio mingled their music with liberal politics, both onstage and off. Their version of "If I Had a Hammer" became an anthem for racial equality. Other hits included "Lemon Tree," "Leaving on a Jet Plane" and "Puff (The Magic Dragon)."

They were early champions of Dylan and performed his "Blowin' in the Wind" at the March on Washington in August 1963.

And they were vehement in their opposition to the Vietnam War, managing to stay true to their liberal beliefs while creating music that resonated in the American mainstream.

The trio's self-titled debut album — named the 19th best album of the '60s by Rolling Stone — was released in 1962 and became an instant hit thanks to "If I Had a Hammer" and another single, "Lemon Tree." Along with folk tunes, Peter, Paul and Mary were among the first to cover songs by up-and-coming writers like Laura Nyro and Gordon Lightfoot and they released one of the first covers from Dylan's Basement Tapes (their version of "Too Much of Nothing" appeared in 1967). Their own songs, like "The Great Mandala (The Wheel of Life)" or Stookey and Yarrow's adaptation of the folk song "The Cruel War," were also infused with social commentary, and they wrote and recorded a campaign theme song for Eugene McCarthy in 1968. For their efforts, they were rewarded with a letter of praise from John Kennedy and a stench bomb set off at a show in Oklahoma.

Peter, Paul and Mary disbanded in 1970, after which the trio recorded solo albums. Travers' first, Mary (1971), had a modest pop hit in a cover of John Denver's "Follow Me," and her 1972 album Morning Glory featured "Conscientious Objector (I Shall Die)," based on the writing of Edna St. Vincent Millay. The trio reunited in the late '70s and picked up where they left off, recording, touring and singing at political rallies for the homeless and against apartheid.

Sunday Funnies "I'm not a racist, but ..." edition

Rick Perry's "What recession?" and Kay Bailey's purse boys

I was all set to post about Governor 39%'s Claytie Williams moment ...

"Why is Texas kind of recession-proof, if you will? As a matter of fact ... someone had put a report out that the first state that's coming out of the recession is going to be the state of Texas ... I said, 'We're in one?'"

For hell's sake, I was prepared to agree with Paul Burka that the gaffe was a turning point -- downward and eventually out. Adios, MoFo!

(It's worth mentioning that Burka, still struggling with the New Media, already is trying to cover his ass just in case the video turns out to be a John-Cornyn-box-turtle-style 'dirty trick'.)

But then I found Wayne Slater's post about Matt Latimer's Speechless excerpt on the queen running to replace the king:

As the elevator proceeded downward, the senator turned to her J. Crew aides. They were 'the purse boys.' That was the nickname staffers gave them because their job seemed to consist of carrying Sen. Hutchison's purse around Capitol Hill. They also were known to drive her from her house to work - a distance of approximately two blocks. They were basically taxpayer-subsidized butlers.

This was an unusual day, since normally only one purse boy was with Sen. Hutchison at a time. (The other must have been a trainee). As one of the boys quietly held her large purse, she started to fish through it. Then she issued a list of instructions.

"Now I want you to take my purse back to the office," she said.
"Yes, senator," the purse boy responded.
"Take the nail polish out and put it in the refrigerator."
"Yes, senator."
"Take the rest of the makeup out and put that in the refrigerator too."
"Yes, senator."
"Then put the purse by my desk." She said this as though it were her routine speech.

The purse boy nodded dutifully, and the trainee looked like he wanted a pen to jot all this down. Elizabeth and I gazed at each other uncomfortably. I felt a little like entering your parents' bedroom and finding your mother putting on deodorant. It was something you knew happened, but you didn't really want to think about. Then the elevator doors opened. We moved to the side to let KBH pass. She did so regally, without a word to either of us, the purse boys following close behind. In those few minutes, my enthusiasm for KBH sunk to a previously unfathomable low.

'Speechless' (as an adjective) nails it.

Why exactly is this harridan so 'popular'? It can't because of all of the legislation she has written and co-sponsored; it isn't because she's a conservative heroine.

It may be that she's so 'popular' because the traditional media keeps repeating it over and over again.

These two miserable jerks are nothing except a microcosm of those Texans who have repeatedly voted for them: insensitive, clueless, and hypocritical.

Update: “The answer is ‘Yes,’ Governor. Texas and the nation are in the midst of the worst economic collapse since the Great Depression, and just this week your administration announced that the number of jobless Texans is at a 22-year high. Those men and women deserve better than a governor who smirks ‘Recession? What recession.’”

Senate special election update

RG Ratcliffe at the Houston Chronic (bold emphasis throughout is mine):

U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, according to several reliable sources, has been telling Republicans in the past week that her current plan is to send Gov. Rick Perry a letter next month announcing her intention to resign from office effective on either Dec. 31 or Jan. 1.

By doing that, Hutchison remains in the Senate through this fall's health care debate while also giving Republicans who want to run for other offices when the dominos fall a chance to shuffle their campaigns. The two most obvious instances are Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst, who likely wants to run for Hutchison's Senate seat, and Attorney General Greg Abbott who wants to run for lieutenant governor.

The filing deadline is Jan. 4, 2010.

The move also would put the ball in Perry's court for naming an interim senator and then calling a special election to fill Hutchison's term through 2012.

Now Kay Bailey said six weeks ago: "The actual leaving of the Senate will be sometime -- October, November -- that, in that time frame", so this obviously appears to be a change of plans. Kay Bailey waffling on previous statements is nothing new; it does however affect the timing of the special election significantly ...

If she resigned at the end of the year, she would force Perry to make the interim appointment before Jan. 4 if he wanted to give the position to someone such as Dewhurst who has to make a choice about running for re-election. It also might push him to allow the Senate special election to occur on the uniform election date in May so that race won't interfere with the governor's race.

Perry can declare an emergency and hold the election sooner, but state law forbids him from setting the special election on the same day as the primary.

There is a high likelihood either way that the Senate race and governor's race would overlap. The potential exists for a gubernatorial primary in March, with a runoff in April, followed by the Senate special in May with a runoff in June. Four major elections in four months.

I (and Harvey Kronberg) had previously written that the special would likely be during the holidays -- between Thanksgiving and Christmas of this year -- on the previous declaration by Kay Bailey that she would cut and run in "October, November".

What changes here is the likelihood of any Democrat running for Senate -- be they named Bill White or John Sharp -- shifting into the race for governor at the last minute. With a four-month timeline between resignation, appointment, and special election, either man is much less inclined to cede the Senate nom to the other.

The other potential clusterfuck is if Perry does NOT name Dewhurst to the vacated seat, leaving him cock-blocking Abbott, who similarly impedes Ted Cruz and Dan Gattis Branch (both of whom have already raised a million bucks each for that race), and so on. A five-month campaign puts a little pressure on the various GOP fund-raisers, with whatever eventual gaggle of Republicans -- Michael Williams, Roger Williams, Florence Shapiro, Elizabeth Ames-Jones, blahblahblah -- vying for caysh with Perry and Hutchison (who have no limits on the amount they can raise for a gubernatorial contest). I'm pretty sure Perry wanted to avoid that, not to mention sharing headlines and dates of campaign events around the state and so on.

And some of those incumbents are going to decide not to make the run, keeping their safe seats in the Texas Senate or the Railroad Commission rather than gamble on the US Senate.

But really: who knows if Kay Bailey means what she is rumored to be saying THIS time?

Anybody need more popcorn?

Friday Funnies "Dancing with the Czars" edition

Mighty oaks and ACORN

Hey Robbie, you five-day-old douchesack, take your tongue outta Glenn Beck's anus and look around; maybe you'll see something besides right-wing shit.

ACORN has received a grand total of $53 million in federal funds over the last 15 years -- an average of $3.5 million per year. Meanwhile, not millions, not billions, but trillions of dollars of public funds have been, in the last year alone, transferred to or otherwise used for the benefit of Wall Street. Billions of dollars in American taxpayer money vanished into thin air, eaten by private contractors in Iraq and Afghanistan, led by Halliburton subsidiary KBR. All of those corporate interests employ armies of lobbyists and bottomless donor activities that ensure they dominate our legislative and regulatory processes, and to be extra certain, the revolving door between industry and government is more prolific than ever, with key corporate officials constantly ending up occupying the government positions with the most influence over those industries. ...

So with this massive pillaging of America's economic security and the control of American government by its richest and most powerful factions growing by the day, to whom is America's intense economic anxiety being directed? To a non-profit group that devotes itself to providing minute benefits to people who live under America's poverty line, and which is so powerless in Washington that virtually the entire U.S. Senate just voted to cut off its funding at the first sign of real controversy -- could anyone imagine that happening to a key player in the banking or defense industry?

Local frothing idiots aside, the manipulation of the masses of fools on the right would continue to be laughable if it weren't spreading like swine flu at the day care.

If one were to watch Fox News or listen to Rush Limbaugh -- as millions do -- one would believe that the burden of the ordinary American taxpayer, and the unfair plight of America's rich, is that their money is being stolen by the poorest and most powerless sectors of the society. An organization whose constituencies are often-unregistered inner-city minorities, the homeless and the dispossesed is depicted as though it's Goldman Sachs, Blackwater, and Haillburton combined, as though Washington officials are in thrall to those living in poverty rather than those who fund their campaigns. It's not the nice men in the suits doing the stealing but the very people, often minorities or illegal immigrants, with no political or financial power who nonetheless somehow dominate the government and get everything for themselves. The poorer and weaker one is, the more one is demonized in right-wing mythology as all-powerful receipients of ill-gotten gains; conversely, the stronger and more powerful one is, the more one is depicted as an oppressed and put-upon victim ...

It's such an obvious falsehood -- so counter-intuitive and irrational -- yet it resonates due to powerful cultural manipulations. Most of all, what's so pernicious about all of this is that the same interests who are stealing, pillaging and wallowing in corruption are scapegoating the poorest and most vulnerable in order to ensure that the victims of their behavior are furious with everyone except for them.

UPDATE: John Cole highlights what might be the most telling aspect of all of this: demands for a "Special Prosecutor" into Obama's so-called "relationship with ACORN" from the very same circles that vehemently objected to investigations into torture, illegal government spying, politicized prosecutions, military contractor theft, Lewis Libby's obstruction of justice, and virtually every other instance of Bush-era criminality. Those, of course, are the very same people who, before that, demanded endless inquiries into Whitewater and Vince Foster's "murder." There's nothing more valuable than petty, dramatic "scandals" to distract attention from what is actually taking place.

This is, obviously, the Fauxtrage we were waiting for this week. The Chron's Nick Anderson has the summation:

Locke, Brown, Costello and Holm: Vote No

The Houston mayoral and city council elections aren't this blog's typical beat, but what's being discussed elsewhere is worth repeating here. Namely ...

-- Gene Locke is a misogynist ass.

-- Stephen Costello is a duplicitous Republican masquerading as an independent.

-- Peter Brown can't get his supporters' list straight. No wonder, since he has demonstrated trouble remembering which candidates he is supporting.

-- And lastly, the one person among these four not afraid to call herself a Republican, city comptroller candidate Pam Holm, attended a fundraiser for District A Republican candidate Brenda Stardig last evening, skipping the Houston Hispanic Heritage awards presentation (via Carl Whitmarsh).

Holm appeared on Glenn Beck's program earlier this year. That's all anyone with a functioning brain stem should need to know.

So now you know who not to vote for in November.