Conservative hysterics

Via The Agonist, The New York Sun reports that Deadeye Dick Cheney is the GOP's best hope in 2008 ...

For all the talk about potential candidates who haven't entered the 2008 presidential race — from Mayor Bloomberg to Vice President Gore to Senator Thompson and Speaker Gingrich — the one that who would bring the most to the race is Vice President Cheney.

Commenters there declare Dick and running mate Tom DeLay as the unbeatable combination for rogue elephants longin' to keep hangin' in the White House. Here's a sampling of campaign slogans and bumper sticker ideas:

Cheney/Delay Just a Heartbeat Away
Dick & Hammer (I can see the logo, can't you?)
"30% of Americans can't all be wrong"
Cheney 2008: "Pump Action"

In other hilarious news, right-wing blogs discovered the plot to hide WMDs in Iraq. This delusion has been making the right-rounds for quite a few years now. It's almost as ridiculous as Laura Bush saying "no one suffers more than the president and I" and almost as funny as Rudy Giuliani thinking a gallon of milk costs a dollar-fifty. Almost.

And don't watch this video of Michelle Malkin leading cheers until you've peed first. Really.

Much less funny: Rep. Dana Rohrabacher declared to audience members in a subcommittee hearing that he hoped their families would "suffer the consequences" of a terrorist attack.

It's important to note that what I find funny about this demonstrated ignorance is the sheer cluelessness of the Republicans spouting this nonsense and their believers believing it. The popularity of Fox News among this subset is also proof of their stupidity.

Of course it would be much more funny if people and planets weren't dying because of it.

Skilled facility postpourri

Today Mrs. Diddie's mother is moving from the hospital to the nursing home.

Here's a few updates on things that you have probably been able to follow elsewhere ...

-- Republicans are determined to disenfranchise Texas voters (they had help from two House Democrats who failed to show up for the vote), but Rodney Ellis and other Senate Democrats are just as determined to stop them. Kuffner has a good link assembly.

-- Pulitzer author David Halberstam was killed in an auto accident this week. Eye on Williamson has a nice remembrance. And also Boris Yeltsin, whose mighty heart finally gave out. Don't miss mcjoan's eulogy.

-- The Army lied about Pat Tillman's death and Jessica Lynch's ordeal. As I posted at this link:

Why does the Pentagon feel it necessary to concoct these falsehoods? Is this war lacking heroes?

Were the fabrications invented to give the GWOT some measure of credibility that the generals perceive it to be lacking?

And do the military leaders take their cues on lying from their civilian commanders?

-- Bush says "Screw you" to Gonzales critics (which means everybody in the world).

-- The storms are again swirling around the Turdblossom. Paul Wolfowitz takes Abu Gonzales' lead and digs in, refusing to quit the World Bank over his girlfriend scandal. Dennis Kucinich files articles of impeachment against Deadeye Dick. Another Republican congressman resigns his committee seats over his relationship to Jack Abramoff, and DeLay aide Ed Buckham moves deeper into legal jeopardy as well.

More when I can.

More Sunday Funnies

Sunday Funnies

Good Puppy Academy, Class of 2007

The little black puppy (photo here) has given way to a tan adolescent. When Teddi gets her next grooming, her winter coat and baby fuzz will be gone, revealing a lanky dog; a German Shepard's body and a Chow-Chow's head.

She graduated from obedience school yesterday. Good thing it was a pass/fail course, because I would have graded her out C-minus on a curve.

Bush's "soiled and blood-soaked underwear" and additional bloggerrhea

-- Sean Penn defeated pretend-Fascist Stephen Colbert in last night's Metaphor-Off. This classic debate is one of the most hilarious things ever shown on television. No video I can yet find, but will add it here later. Here we go:



-- Freeper responses to yesterday's Gonzo-palooza:

"I am hoping against hope AG Gonzalez slaps these jerks down... Clinton’s firing of over 90 US attorneys... Gonzales needs to check his tongue the door... the AG is rambling... This is bad... AG is stuttering... Yikes... AG has nothing to loose by starting to kick some serious butt... He’s doing a little better now... I take it back. I’ll have a hub cap full of Marguerita’s please... Poor AG is simply not ready for the bigs... Pathetic... the Clintons... I keep wanting to tell Gonzo to stop talking... I’ll take 3 Rum Runners... This is not his best hearing... Gonzales is obviously a boob... Clinton and Reno... Its like watching someone eat themselves to death... I can’t take any more of this. Gonzales is pathetic... wounded deer in the clutches of wild beasts... GONZALES is getting reamed... this is like a tooth extraction without anaesthesia... Sadly, Shumer’s remarks seem to be correct... Make John Bolton the new AG in a recess appointment, or Ann Coulter... this worse than the a Friday the 13th movie. It is a bloodbath... Clinton... Clinton... Clinton... Is this guy retarded?... Gonzales is doing an awful job... Clinton... W needs to cut his loses... can anybody who is watching this really say that this is the guy we want as AG?... It’s embarrassing. Lights are on but nobody’s home... He is like Miers or Brown... After watching this I wouldn’t want him to handle a traffic ticket for me... Janet Reno... Clinton..."

Will Pitt, after watching the hearings:

I am sometimes motivated to distrust my own internal Outrage-O-Meter whenever the needle pins deep in the red zone. Am I just too involved? Too biased? Is my bottle so filled with this nonsense that small pours into it become flooding slop-overs?

I watched every second of those hearings.

I think that was among the most embarrassing things I've ever seen. I'm ashamed for my country after that. This man is in the line of succession? Egads and gad zooks.

Was it really as spoon-bendingly bad as it seemed to me?

-- Jimmie "JJ from Good Times" Walker and Annthrax Coulter draw the paparazzi like they usually draw flies. I'm so old I remember when JJ was as emaciated as Coulter.

-- "Internet Argument" is another great toon from August J. Pollack that couldn't wait for the Sunday Funnies.

-- Tom DeLay compares himself to the Duke lacrosse players who were falsely accused of rape, and repeats his double-negative: "I haven’t been found guilty of nothing."

Must stop here, because I'm still laughing so hard it's difficult to breathe.

Richardson outpolls "Other" and "No F'ing Clue"

Edwards stretches his lead over Obama to 43-25 in April's survey of Kossacks. Hillary finally pulls ahead of Kucinich, 3-2.

Update (4/18): Jerome has more polls and more analysis.

In other non-shooting-rampage related news ...

-- Go see a movie tonight with filmmaker and Houston native Richard Linklater at the MFAH. He's picked Some Came Running, Vincente Minnelli's 1958 film starring Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and a very young Shirley MacLaine.

-- When the focus shifted from trying to catch drug traffickers to people crossing the border, then sure enough, drug prosecutions went down. Which of these is the real crime? (I realize you libertarians should answer 'neither'...)

-- My old state rep, the art censor, is building a large house in the district. A very large house.

-- Harris County's new judge, Ed Emmett, supports the completion of the Grand Parkway (bad) but sounds like he's opposed to both the TTC -- mostly he thinks it was bad PR -- and rail anywhere except on Richmond (both good, if true). He's not likely to do much about any of this until he faces the voters (and wins).

-- Republican state legislators are playing smoke-and-mirrors with the stem cell bill. Apparently they can only get things like this done when the Democrats aren't paying attention. South Texas Chisme has more on the story, and the Texas Freedom Network has a petition for you to show your support for stem cell research.

Restricting the Vote: HB-626

Tonight the Texas Progressive Alliance conferenced with John Courage and Terri Sperry of True Courage Action Network, Nate Isaacson of PFAW, and other voting rights activists on HB-626, the voter ID bill which would place too onerous a burden on the rights of Texans to cast their ballots.

The bill requires requires voters to provide a certified copy of a passport, birth certificate, or naturalization papers (proving citizenship) at the time of voter registration, and a photo ID at the polling place. Sonia Santana, my friend and the most engaged citizen in the state of Texas on this issue, posted a recent diary detailing the concerns. Vince and Hal posted on the bill's filing in January, and it comes up for a vote this week.

Certified copies -- not the original documents -- are necessary because the copies are retained by the voter registrar, which will no longer be the person you sign up with at the Wal-Mart, or the county fair, or even at the driver's license renewal office. Certified copies aren't inexpensive; costs vary but they're in the range of $20 to $30. That makes this requirement essentially a poll tax, which is precisely what the Republicans sponsoring it want to achieve: suppression of votes by minorities and less-than-wealthy people. But it also will exclude students, seniors, the disabled and many working people by putting too high a price on a person's time and mobility to acquire the proof.

People whose names have changed, through adoption or marriage, will be at an additional disadvantage. People born at home -- a not-so-insignificant number of people in Texas -- don't have a birth certificate, and as such will likewise be inconvenienced at best and disenfranchised at worst.

This is bad legislation with nefarious intent: suppressing the vote under the guise of a concern for a problem which exists only in the imagination of men like Karl Rove.

Contact your state representative and tell them to vote NO. Look up your state rep with this link.

Update (4/17): Paul Burka and I are in complete agreement.

Sunday Funnies

Frost on the postpourri

in April?

-- The guy who got Pipped by Jackie Robinson lives in Houston. (The link is not working at this posting. When the Chron fixes it, I'll note it here.) (Link fixed.) He got shafted by Branch Rickey but doesn't hold a grudge. This is another great story about the old school and baseball.

-- The fried chicken that saved New Orleans. I can't wait to eat it soon.

-- Brian Williams on blogging:

“You’re going to be up against people who have an opinion, a modem, and a bathrobe. All of my life, developing credentials to cover my field of work, and now I’m up against a guy named Vinny in an efficiency apartment in the Bronx who hasn’t left the efficiency apartment in two years.”

That sounds like the Vinny I know. It also sounds like Angie, rachel, Claude, and about a dozen other aliases he/she uses. And if Vinny is providing better information than Williams, what does that say about them? And NBC?

Here's an idea, Brian: do your job so we bloggers don't have to.

And for Jeebus' sake, who actually blogs in a bathrobe? I always go al fresco.

-- The Blogger's Code of Ethics just isn't for me, either.

-- The Price is Right Wing, with Tucker Carlson!

-- A dirty hippie blogs from Baghdad. Here's her blog. Thanks to the Lone Star Iconoclast for making sure the truth gets told, like always.

On slanguage

This conversation is the best result that's coming out of the Imus affair ...

Don Imus' firing Thursday was the result of a collision between mainstream popular culture and hip-hop culture. This generational and cultural debate has been fueled by the concept of "you people," whoever they — or we — are.

Imus testily used those words during his appearance on the Rev. Al Sharpton's radio show Monday. "You people" seemed directed at Sharpton and other activists more than African-Americans as a whole, unlike Ross Perot's use of that phrase during his 1992 presidential run.

Hip-hop has enjoyed tremendous crossover success. For better or worse, depending on one's tastes, it's unavoidable. And rap has, for years, been built on its street credibility, reflected in no small part in its slanguage. There are regional shorthands for cars, neighborhoods and other, more unsavory things. Hip-hop's impact explains how the phrase "nappy-headed hos" ever found its way to Imus' microphone.

"How can we ignore the problem that every 12-year-old in the country knows this phrase?" asks comedian-turned-gubernatorial candidate Kinky Friedman, who also has been accused of being a racist and sexist. "And we're giving Grammys to guys for using the same phrase that gets Imus fired."

Are some words simply the sole property for use only by certain (race-specific) people?

Can words or symbols be "owned" and repurposed? The theory that the rampant use of the n-word in hip-hop has removed its poison is faulty. Ask comedian Michael Richards. Or better yet, ask the black audience members at his comedy show that turned into an epithet-filled meltdown, complete with threats.

Salikoko S. Mufwene, a professor of linguistics at the University of Chicago, says, "It's a matter of who has authority in language. There are certain terms used in the African-American community that are not licensed to other people."

I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes. If you want the conservative talking point go read these comments.

Kurt Vonnegut 1922-2007

The author speaking at a rally against the Persian Gulf war in 1991.

The first book of his that I read was Breakfast of Champions, in 1974. I was a high school sophomore and thought I had just found some key to the universe. Here's what the NYT Book Review wrote when it was published the previous year:

You have to hand it to Kurt Vonnegut Jr. In his eighth novel, "Breakfast of Champions, or Goodbye Blue Monday," he performs considerable complex magic. He makes pornography seem like any old plumbing, violence like lovemaking, innocence like evil, and guilt like child's play. He wheels out all the latest fashionable complaints about America--her racism, her gift for destroying language, her technological greed and selfishness--and makes them seem fresh, funny, outrageous, hateful, and lovable, all at the same time. He draws pictures, for God's sake--simple, rough, yet surprisingly seductive sketches of everything from Volkswagens to electric chairs. He weaves into his plot a dozen or so glorious synopses of Vonnegut stories one almost wishes were fleshed out into whole books. He very nearly levitates.

Vonnegut was the greatest American novelist of our generation. That's only my humble o, but also certainly that of many others. Few writers have really grasped my mind around its figurative throat and shaken it like a dog with a rag as he did.

He was pretty much everything a free-thinking person could aspire to. His essays from In These Times were compiled into a short book called A Man Without a Country in 2005 and they chronicled his path from conservative to liberal, a trail I have similarly walked.

There's a photo of Vonnegut -- probably at an anti-war rally -- holding up a Bartcop sticker. Perhaps we'll see that and some other remembrances of the author today posted by others. I'll collect some and update here later. I'm a bit too distraught at the moment to collect and post all of my own feelings about the passing of this literary titan.

Updates (4/13):

Racy Mind quotes a random passage from Champions.

Tom Kirkendall is uncharacteristically snide.

Norbizness provides the scene from Rodney Dangerfield's epic Back to School.

Katrinacrat feels the loss and has the classic quote from God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater.

My Left Nutmeg has some YouTube of the man.