This Week in Irony (and it's only Monday)

One of the companies hired to build a wall to deter illegal immigration is being investigated by the Department of Homeland Security for hiring undocumented workers.

Senator Dan Patrick -- the general in his self-proclaimed army of douchebags conservatives -- might just be a bleeding rectum. And the other Republicans in Austin might have to curb their fascism alter their strategy.

The oil companies could be -- surprise! -- squeezing production in order to prop up the price of gasoline.

The Bush twins, Jenna and Not Jenna, went buckwild in South America for their 25th birthday celebration. Apparently they did oversee a little family bidness while they were there: their dad purchased a hundred thousand acre property in Paraguay and Jenna took a meeting with the president of the country and the US ambassador. I hope she didn't have to take her clothes off.

NBC and MSNBC decide to call it a civil war. They are not joined by the rest of the corporate media yet. Kofi Annan says it is almost civil war. The Bush administration calls it a "new phase".

Tired of turkey already

... and of media reports of shopping. Do they simply regurgitate last year's story so that they don't have to go out to the mall and honestly report the percentage of the parking lots' capacity? As if that's news anyway?!

... How about football? Anybody tired of football yet? Shit, I might have to go shopping just to get away from it.

... who's grown weary of certain relatives they only see once a year?

... and why doesn't anyone serve a freaking vegetable at Thanksgiving dinner? Is green bean casserole as close as it gets? Cornbread dressing, oyster dressing, mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, baked yams, candied yams, squash casserole, dinner rolls, croissants, cranberry sauce, giblet gravy and the nearest I came to a vegetable was a piece of celery the size of my pinkie fingernail and a chive. One. Chive. No wonder everybody falls asleep after feasting on so many carbs.

Boy, I'm tired. And I think I want some sushi for dinner this evening. Or some Vietnamese soup. Maybe a movie. Anybody seen Bobby yet? The reviews are cruel. Those who've written the ones I've read must be all Republicans ...

Black Friday Postpourri

Scattershooting while wondering what it's like to be fighting for a parking place -- or the last of a certain sale item -- at the mall right about now ...

-- Two separate groups of 20,000 people each in downtown Houston yesterday were fed, and some of those were clothed. Five thousand showed up to help. Elsewhere the need is similarly great.

-- A terribly bloody day in Iraq, but the stores here open early anyway.

-- Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings lost on Jeopardy to David St. Hubbins of Spinal Tap (or Lenny from "Lenny and Squiggy" if you prefer). I believe another "fresh perspective" is in order.

-- FOX prepares a conservative version of "The Daily Show". No, really. Their current lineup isn't funny enough (of course).

-- Newt Gingrich intends to use the power of magic -- well, hocus-pocus -- in order to be "elected" President. I'm scared. No really, I am.

After all, it could happen. He could easily carry Georgia and Florida and South Carolina and Texas and several other southern states using this strategy.

-- Jordan Barab at Firedoglake has the comprehensive wrap on the Houston janitors strike.

-- the American Family Association wants you NOT to shop at Wal-Mart this weekend because of their sublime support of the "radical homosexual agenda". No, really.

-- here's some more backstory on last week's James Carville-Howard Dean dustup.

-- The Time is Yao.

Update: I shouldn't mention Black Friday without quoting Steely Dan ...

When Black Friday comes
I'll stand down by the door
And catch the grey men when they
Dive from the fourteenth floor
When Black Friday comes
I'll collect everything I'm owed
And before my friends find out
I'll be on the road
When Black Friday falls you know it's got to be
Don't let it fall on me

When Black Friday comes
I'll fly down to Muswellbrook
Gonna strike all the big red words
From my little black book
Gonna do just what I please
Gonna wear no socks and shoes
With nothing to do but feed
All the kangaroos
When Black Friday comes I'll be on that hill
You know I will

When Black Friday comes
I'm gonna dig myself a hole
Gonna lay down in it 'til
I satisfy my soul
Gonna let the world pass by me
The Archbishop's gonna sanctify me
And if he don't come across
I'm gonna let it roll
When Black Friday comes
I'm gonna stake my claim
I'll guess I'll change my name