Patriotboy has me in tears again

He's got some cinematic suggestions for conservatives who will need help coping with the avalanche of bad news (for the unenlightened, the Mrs. Apuzzo he refers to is this woman) :

National Security -- A top White House aide teams up with a columnist to defend the president's honor by exposing a CIA agent and a CIA front company. Think All the President's Men with the President's men being the good guys. I see Jeff Gannon as Karl Rove and Shelly Winters as Bob Novak. Mrs. Apuzzo could play the positive immigrant maid who lets Mr. Rove's late night visitors into the White House.

Duke Cunningham, Capitalist Tool -- Rep. Duke Cunnigham rubs a flag and a lobbyist/genie appears, granting him the power to make ridiculously lucrative real estate deals. Duke uses this power to enrich himself through a series of house and boat deals and becomes a star on the conservative speakers circuit giving presentations about the rewards of hard work. Think I Dream of Jeannie crossed with Wall Street. I see Ernest Borgnine playing Duke and Mrs. Apuzzo playing the positive immigrant maid who sweeps up all the cash that falls out of visiting lobbyists' pockets.

They Fight Alone -- The untold story of the brave men who proudly wear the Cheeto-stained briefs of the 101st Fighting Keyboarders. In cold, damp basements across our nation, these courageous young men endure their mothers' nagging while fighting Islamo-fascism by flinging accusations of treason against Democrats. Think The Green Berets mixed with Beavis and Butthead. I see Cory Feldman as Ben Shapiro and Mrs. Apuzzo playing the positive immigrant maid Ben's mother hires to hose him down once a week.

The Passion of the Hammer -- The House Majority Leader is subjected to Gitmo interrogation techniques and then crucified by an activist judge who refuses to acknowledge the vital role that graft plays in a democratic society. Think The Passion of the Christ meets The Godfather. I see Randall Terry making his acting debut as Rep. DeLay and Mrs. Apuzzo playing the positive immigrant maid who the Majority Leader receives as a gift from a contributor in Saipan.

And from the comments:

"The Boys from Brazos." When their maximum leader gets in trouble by betraying a secret agent, his former clients in Texas are notified by phone, fax, and pony express to get their talking points synchronized. Congress is played by congress. The Press is played yet again by Karl Rove.

"Weekend in the Tropics." It's about a noble country forced to imprison evil thugs bent on destroying civilization. The noble country treats the prisoners so well that they come around in the end to realize the error of their ways. Think Midnight Express where the captors are the good guys.

... he's a treacherous, fleshy sociopath bent on world domination, forced by circumstances to move into a cheap apartment. His new roommate is an uptight male prostitute with a penchant for get-rich-quick schemes. Put them together, and you've got the original odd couple! It's Karl and JimJeff starring in "Below the Beltway." Rated PG-13 for brief (and patriotic) displays of little soldiers...

Has anyone ever had to be hospitalized for intense, prolonged, vertigo-inducing laughter? Because I'm about to have to call myself an ambulance ...

Bluebonnet at Pink Dome

has a Q & A with Chris Bell.

This is a good one:

BB: Your thoughts on Kinky Friedman? Carole Keaton Strayhorn?

CB: Kinky's a humorous guy who I've enjoyed listening to over the years. I once won a pitcher of beer for singing a Kinky Friedman song.

As far as Carole, I'm glad she's in the race.

More at the link in the header.

Turd Blossom needs a hug

Atrios points us to one-click way to e-mail your support for Bush's Brain-Leak.

Rove-ing around the Internets

Though I could have indulged my schadenfreude every day this week by posting something about The Leaky Turd Blossom, I have hesitated doing so, mostly because the situation seems to change by the hour. Blow-by-blow ringside action of the bout between Scotty "Pinata" McClelland and a suddenly testicular White House press corps has been well-documented by others; many have weighed in on the is-it-smoke-or-fire aspect, and the GOP, after one day of news blackout, all got their talking points distributed ("Poor Karl is being smeared!") and started slamming them hard, right down to their wretched lickspittles in the media.

But this post represents today's most intriguing development, in my humble O:

On July 11th, 2003, Karl Rove, the Chief Adviser to the President of the United States, told Time reporter Matthew Cooper that he knew who had sent Ambassador Joseph Wilson on his fact-finding trip to Niger: Wilson's wife.

According to the RNC statement released today, more than two months later, Vice President Dick Cheney told NBC, on September 14th, 2003, "I don't (know) who sent Joe Wilson (to Niger)."

So: Karl Rove was leaking information to Time that he wasn't willing to share with the Vice President of the United States? A top Administration official (Rove) tells Time that it (the Administration) "knew" who had sent Wilson to Niger, and then two months later another top official (Cheney) denies that knowledge?

I don't think so.

At some point, Rove's supposedly lying to so many people -- first Bush, now you'd have to believe he was lying to Cheney, too -- that you realize, he didn't lie to any of them: they've all been lying to us.

So, did Cheney repeat this lie to the prosecutor investigating the Plame leak, Attorney Fitzgerald, when the latter interviewed him?

If so, guess what: that's obstruction of justice.

You know, (that was) one of the things they tried to impeach Clinton for -- and Clinton's deceit was both less direct and pursuant to a civil (not criminal) investigation.

Think about it: if Cheney did tell Fitzgerald that he knew who had sent Wilson, then he would also have been forced to tell him how he got that information -- from Rove. Which means Rove would be in a jail cell right now, either for the leak itself, or for perjury, or for obstruction of justice. The fact that Rove remains free is, politically-speaking, res ipsa loquitur proof ("the thing speaks for itself") that Cheney maintained his claim of ignorance not only to NBC and to America, but to Fitzgerald as well. Which makes him not only a liar, but also, almost certainly, a criminal.

And if it really is true that Rove was withholding information from Cheney, that fact would already have been uncovered and Rove would have been fired from the Bush Administration. The fact that they haven't fired him is, again, at least in political terms, res ipsa loquitur proof that the Administration was wise to the same intelligence Rove had.

And by Administration, I mean President and Vice President.

And by President, I mean the man who told the American people repeatedly that he wanted to uncover the source of the leak and didn't know himself who the leaker was.

But what did he know, and when did he know it?

White House Press Corps reporters have already asked White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan that question, and he's refused to answer; now the RNC statement casts an even greater shadow on whether Cheney and Bush have lied publicly about the Plame leak. That is, did Bush lie to the cameras, in a Lewinsky-like moment, in order to save his corrupt king-maker, Rove?

And what sort of dirt would Rove have to have on Bush for Bush to be willing to do that?

Seth Abramson has been blogging these angles heavily. Go check him out.

Ted Poe steps in it

Ted Poe, who represents the 2nd Congressional District of Texas, wrote this yesterday at Arianna Huffington's blog under the headline "Has the Supreme Court Lost its Way?". At heart it's just another rambling right-wing screed against the judiciary, but it's also remarkable in its ignorance considering the source:

As a former felony court judge in Houston, Texas for over 20 years, I used the Constitution and made decisions that affected real people – defendants, victims, and the community. I took the same oath as our Supreme Court justices and never rendered a ruling based upon the sentiments of another nation. I determined whether individuals should lose their property, liberty, and freedom. On occasion, my decisions even resulted in those individuals forfeiting their lives. Nonetheless, every ruling was rooted in the United States Constitution, which those who came to my court unquestionably knew constitutes the basis of all American law... not the judge’s personal opinion or the holdings of a foreign nation; not the British way or the European way; but rather the American way. Had I used any other law but that of the Constitution, I would have been removed from the bench and rightfully so.

The overarching thrust of this rant -- decrying the influence of international law on American jurisprudence -- is specious. Surely Poe has knows enough of law history to recall that Franklin, Hamilton, et al drew inspiration -- if not entire passages -- from the Magna Carta, the English Bill of Rights, and other foreign sources.

And the portion I emphasized above is just plain foolish. Unless the death penalty appears somewhere in the Constitution, then Poe was just another "activist judge" doing his best to interpret the Framers' intent, and not the strict constructionist he believes himself to be.

Poe was nationally renowned for his creative punishment sentencings while he was a judge locally, and was widely known as a "tough-on-crimer" (even if he let a lot of criminals off the hook after the fact). "Poetic Justice", as it were. I'm not sure where Poe found constitutional authority to order child molesters to put signs on their front doors advertising their convictions, or command drunken drivers to walk at the scene of their crime with sandwich boards publicizing their circumstances, or force people to take out newspaper ads apologizing for their dastardly deeds.

Nor how that ensured the "predictability, consistency, and uniformity of justice".

Then there's this:

Having been down in the mud, blood, and beer with real people, I have witnessed the Constitution’s impact on the lives of Americans. I submit that looking to foreign court decisions is as relevant as using the writings of Reader’s Digest, a Sears and Roebuck catalog, a horoscope, my grandmother’s recipe for the common cold, tea leaves, star gazing, or the local gossip at the barbershop in Cut N’ Shoot, Texas.

I have to wonder here if Poe's father actually named him Sue ...

Maybe while the judge works out his own private personal hypocrisy he can go huntin' with Ag Commissioner Jerry Patterson.

Or sumpin'.

Some Goober news

Chris Bell blew them away at the SDEC in Austin last Saturday. Go read the entire speech.

One Tough Grandma raised $1.5 million in the first ten days of June -- that was before she even declared for Governor -- and has over seven million samolians on hand, as of June 20.

But she's going to have to spend all of it and more to beat God's Own MoFo'n Governor:

Texas Republican primary voters would support incumbent Governor Rick Perry over State Comptroller Carole Keeton Strayhorn by a two-to-one margin, according to a recent poll.

Since the summer of 2001, Montgomery and Associates, an independent research firm based in Austin, Texas, has been running surveys tracking statewide political issues and elected officials. This survey was conducted from June 27 – July 1, 2005 and tested 905 Texans who had voted in at least one out of the past two Republican primaries. The margin of error is plus or minus 3.3%. Montgomery & Associates conducted the survey independently, and has not been paid by any candidate or party. In partisan political races, the firm works for Democratic candidates.

Damn, this is going to be fun to watch...

More Supreme Court gossip -- three vacancies?

As Hope indicates, one is bad enough, two is pretty scary ...

... but three?

I have to hope this really is just an unfounded Internet rumor.

(Hat tip in there to Republic of T)