Billo: "Slavery is essential for a healthy agrarian economy"

If Fox News Had Existed Throughout History

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My response from Bartcop

He basically told me it's all a lie. Which is kind of disappointing:

It's Hillary's election to lose.
People hate it when I state the facts, but what choice do I have?

Hillarty's (sic) going to win every state Kerry won
- then add about 6 million women voters and pop the champagne.

But when she takes the oath, people can't hold me responsible for everything she does..

He didn't address the whole toxicity issue, but Bart really only ever talks about Congress to complain, Dems or Repukes.

Still love him, still think he's wrong about Hillary.

"Crapping our pants with musketballs of joy"

Jesus, please just let me post this before I crap my own pants with musketballs of jocularity:

Mitt Romney: That jaw! Those FAA-approved shoulders! So tall! So presidential-looking! And thank goodness someone's willing to stand up to the arrogant, know-it-all truth and insist that Saddam rejected IAEA inspectors. Can we double Guantanamo now, daddy?

Rudy Giuliani: Tough! Steely! Take-charge hero of 9/11! He'd be a great hunter if he hunted! Messy divorces? Bernie Kerik? Megalomania? Water under the bridge. And if you make Lieberman your veep we may crap our pants with musketballs of joy. Now, tell us more about Iran nuke plans, daddy!

John McCain: Maverick's hittin' his stride? Straight Talk Express back on the tracks? Answer to immigration question at last debate puts him in driver's seat? Even nuke-ier on Iran than the cross-dresser? New slogan---"Iraq 4evuh, my friends"---has edgy, youthful ring to it. Can we sit on your lap and do pony rides, Granddad?

Sam Brownback: A sweet man who's simply getting overshadowed by his wealthier rivals. But he's a shoe-in to head the new Department of Womb Management. ("Ya keeps the baby or ya gets the lash!")

Mike Huckabee: Started off strong by scaring the fur off the Great Orange Satan's hindquarters, and had us in stitches by attributing 110lb weight loss to a stay at "a concentration camp held by the Democrat Party of Arkansas." Then, to nation's horror, turned heretic by forgetting Ronald Reagan's birthday. No more funds, governor, 'til you make Simi Valley pilgrimage and atone.

Tommy Thompson: Hate to break it to ya, son, but if you can’t control your bowels, you can't control the country.

Fred Thompson: Christ is risen.

Hillary loses to all three top Republicans

and Barack Obama defeats them all (LA Times/Bloomberg, .pdf):

Hillary - 41
McCain - 45

Hillary - 41
Romney - 43

Hillary - 39
Giuliani - 49

***

Obama - 47
McCain - 35

Obama - 50
Romney - 34

Obama - 46
Giuliani - 41

****

Edwards - 40
McCain - 45

Edwards - 46
Romney - 32

Edwards - 46
Giuliani -43

****

Also, 18 percent of Democrats polled say they will never vote for Hillary under any circumstances. That is true for only six percent for Edwards and five percent for Obama.

Texans are lovin' Hill hard at the moment.

Now if that's not enough evidence to those who do not accept the premise that Clinton is ruin to Democrats down-ballot -- and their numbers include EOW, Kuff, and Greg -- then just wait a while longer, gentlemen, and there will be some more coming shortly. Just please don't wait until November 2008. Or next summer. Or even next winter. (And please do tell me again how I cannot infer such a result from these abysmal numbers. Please.)

In Austin today, John Edwards -- the Democrat Republicans fear the most -- picked up several endorsements, from Senator Kirk Watson to Rep. Garnet Coleman to Ag Commish candidate Hank Gilbert.

I'll take two, please

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music -- inside a woman's breast implant.

The iBOOB will cost between $499 and $599.

This is considered a major technological breakthrough, addressing the concerns of women who complain about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Regarding Tony

Nothing happens. Credits. What?

It is what it is. Whaddyagonnado?

Melissa Monday -- and Tuesday, then Saturday

My dear Boadicea, Warrior Queen (Google it):

With a hat tip to Kuff, I'll let John Whiteside at Blue Bayou do the heavy lifting, because he does it so well: When there are just two candidates, the distinctions become clearer than when you've got a whole pack running. Front-runner Noriega has behaved like a front-runner, with some get out the vote activities. Morales has, to be kind, stopped making a lot of sense. Before the first election, his focus seemed to be statements about dramatic property tax cuts (but not, as far as I was able to see, any details about what cuts to city services would make this possible). Now he's talking about "sanctuary." What that means, of course, is the police department's policy of not asking everyone they encounter whether they are in the country illegally. It's a reasonable policy, and one that you will find in a number of large cities; aside from the drain on police time (a particular problem for our understaffed department), there are practical matters. Could you prove that you're in the country legally during a traffic stop? I couldn't. Think what would happen next would depend on your accent and skin tone? You bet. The police department does, of course, cooperate with Homeland Security on immigration enforcement activities and DHS has had positive things to say about the relationship. This is not "sanctuary," which means protecting someone. If you're providing "sanctuary" you're not cooperating with the authorities trying to catch somebody. Anytime you hear someone talk about "sanctuary" it's a sure sign that they are misinformed, or - in the case of a politician - bending the truth to stir people up. Election day for the runoff is June 16, but the number of voting locations has collapsed, so it's going to be confusing. Better to early vote at a convenient location. 2% turnout is being expected. That's approx 15,000 voters deciding this city council race in the fourth largest city in the country. If you're a Houstonian, be one of the few, the proud, the actual voting public. Vote early. Vote for Melissa Noriega. Vote with a friend. Be one of the approx 7,501 deciders of this race. You'll be glad you did.