Spring Forward into Madness Funnies

"March Madness" usually involves a loss of sleep.

Though he talks a good humanitarian game, President Joe Biden keeps cracking down on people fleeing danger and persecution in their home countries. One of the most galling examples of this is the recent requirement that people who are seeking asylum in the United States must first download the “CBP One” app to arrange an appointment at the border.

If you want a real-time window into the frustration and hopelessness of the situation, just check out some of the heartbreaking reviews of the app in Apple’s app store.

It’s been widely reported that the buggy app crashes regularly and — even though you’re required to take a short video selfie — for some reason the app has been having difficulty handling darker skin tones.

Let’s hope that’s a bug and not a feature of the app.

It’s absurd the United States is requiring people who have uprooted their families and may very well be fleeing past (and current) violence to download an app on a smartphone they may or may not have. (And be sure you have at least 178.6 megabytes of space free on your phone as you hike across the desert!)

While an app requirement may not seem like much, it sure appears like it’s intended to be nothing more than a new technological hurdle to avoid dealing with people who have a legal right to seek asylum.

Meanwhile, if you’re an “unaccompanied minor” who has made it into the US, there’s a very good chance you’ll be absorbed into a shadowy world of exploitative child labor.

Watch Mark Fiore's video, The Killer App, here.

Black History Month Funnies

It’s possible for cis people to make pronoun jokes totally innocently – maybe they’re not very hooked into the current political culture, and they don’t realize that pronoun jokes have been weaponized by the right as a way of saying “fuck trans people.” But we should learn better, because whether or not we all realize it, these jokes have been weaponized and come off as deliberate disrespect.

And for many, it’s not so innocent. For right-wingers, pronoun jokes aren’t about being “cute or funny”; they’re a form of virtue signaling (for the peculiar form of contempt that right-wingers erroneously consider virtuous). A pronoun joke is a way they recognize each other. It’s a way of saying “I’m with you, I’m in the in-group, I hate all the same people you hate.”

Sunday "Sleeping In" Funnies

Sunday 'Derailed' Toons

As we look to the heavens for mysterious balloons overhead, we may catch a glimpse of oil industry profits somewhere in the upper stratosphere. (Or more likely in the exosphere.)

The West’s top oil and gas corporations posted eye-popping profits recently, with a combined total of around $200 billion for the leading five oil giants.

War profiteering and taking advantage of consumers as inflation rose? Not according to the oil-soaked CEOs. Record-breaking profits merely show that they are doing everything right as they lead the world to a green energy future. Never mind that their actual investments in renewable energy pale in comparison to what they put into fossil fuels.

Oil and gas industry shills are quick to point out neat greenwashing programs like powering one (1) bus with coffee grounds and collecting “renewable natural gas” (also known as cow farts).

Don’t be fooled, they’re war profiteers who saw their chance to make up for profits lost during the Covid pandemic—as their balance sheets and corporate planning show, they have no intention of undermining their core business by switching to renewables.

Watch the video "Big Oil, Big Green" from Mark Fiore on Vimeo.

Sunday 'Trial Balloons' Funnies

In two major polls released (last Monday), most Democrats said they want someone besides President Biden as their nominee in '24. 37% of Dems in an AP-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research poll said they want Biden to seek a second term — down from 52% in the weeks before last year's midterms. 31% of Dems and Dem-leaning independents in an ABC News-Washington Post poll said the party should re-nominate Biden. 58% — almost twice as many — want someone else. By contrast, 44% of Republicans and GOP-leaning independents want Trump.

Will wait for Ted to graph these out after he settles back into blogging after his Jamaican vacation (hope you got braids and some Bob Marley veggies, old boy). And maybe anticipate a SOTU bump.

I am not.

But I was hoping for some late-arriving UFO toons; alas, it looks as if they'll be appearing in the Tweet feed later this week.

Enjoy the very large football game this evening, then for Jeebus' sake focus on your Valentine.  Here in H-Town we're already gearing up for the Fat Stock Show and Rodeo (that's what they called it when I was a kid) while celebrating Mardi Gras and mudbug season.  Next month we'll be hosting the Final Four.  So more madness than usual about.