Sunday Funnies

Is god willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.

Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.

Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?

Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?

-- Epicurus

The scene inside and outside Reliant

Let's say some nice things first.

I believe the crowd was closer to 30,000 than any other number. I was on the floor of the stadium, to the left front of the stage and ahead of the soundboard but three rows back in the second seating section, by 8:25 yesterday morning.

The crowd was not only much larger than projected but also very diverse. I expected mostly white, middle-aged, and well-fed but there were many younger people of all creeds. In front of me was a row of high school -- or maybe college-age -- kids: one skinny tall red-headed Caucasian with a scruffy little beard, next to a shorter and even thinner black guy, next to a girl of Indio-Pakistani descent, next to her African-American girl friend, with two more of their Latina friends behind them.

They all not only held hands with God and prayed and sang at the top of their lungs but also bounced and pogo'd throughout the musical accompaniment, which occupied much of the time leading up to about 10 a.m.

In my row and those behind me were nearly all middle-aged and senior white people, but there was also a Hispanic family wearing Texans jerseys, having walked over after that morning's team practice across the street. Two guys, one woman -- all of them no more than late '20's, two little guys about 10 or so. The kids were munching from a big tub of popcorn, and the aroma was as sinful as it always is. I saw a senior Asian couple walking slowly arm in arm. Nearly no wheelchairs or walkers and no scooters (mobility-challenged people might have had a special section that I didn't see, higher up). But very few coming in, maybe because Reliant is so damned difficult for them to access -- long, sloping ramps or escalators being the primary entry.

The Responders were just as demographically mixed as any game at the ballpark I've been to, any street festival or outdoor concert in Houston. There were plenty of southern Baptist conventioneers by appearance, to be sure. Many obvious, ah, rural folk. But many Latinos and many African Americans also, of all ages.

OK then; to the play-by-play.

My intention was to get with the protestors outside early and then go into the stadium later in the morning, but the group I was looking for was nowhere in sight around 8 a.m., so I parked at the Holiday Inn due north of Reliant and ambled south across the vast asphalt expanse toward the giant dome. There's a VIP parking area to the immediate north of the arena, and as I walked past it headed for the south side gates I saw a bomb-sniffing dog and his handler sniffing out the cars there. I'm certain that detail isn't part of the normal stadium security even on an NFL Sunday, and I wondered who was paying for it. That was my first Tweet of the day.

As I came around to the south end there were ten or fifteen queues for bag checks and light patdowns, same as on game days. I lined up and took off my backpack for inspection, observing the stout little man in a grey polyester suit ahead of me as he was instructed to throw away his snacks -- a package of cinnamon rolls on a tin tray -- and his bottle of water. At his feet, under the table, were about 20 more abandoned water bottles.

I unzipped the compartments of my backpack, which contained sunblock, two frozen plastic bottles of water, some beef jerky, peanut butter crackers, a Luna bar, my diabetes and Meneire's meds, a notebook and some pens. I lifted it to the table and said, as the guard peeked in: "I have my Bible, my diabetes medication, a notebook, some pens ..."

He said, "you're good; go ahead". And so on I went.

As I made my way down to the floor there was a Christian rock band playing. A heavily U2-influenced one. Everything they played sounded like "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" to me. But let's be kind and say that Christian rock music and its associated production values have come a long, long way just in the past few years. (One favorite artist from my youth -- Mark Farner of Grand Funk -- saw the light and crossed over years ago, but I was never, ever into the Strypers and the Jars of Clay and the like. And those are old farts compared to Switchfoot and Five Iron Frenzy. Anyway ...)

Up in front of the stage they had cleared out some seating and created ... you guessed it, a Christian mosh pit. And some of the people coming out of there were white, middle-aged, and profusely sweaty. There was a little bit more than the predictable swaying and arm-waving going on. A little more, not a lot.

A prayer, a song, then a slow-dance version of 'The Battle Hymn of the Republic'.

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord:
He is trampling down the vineyards where the grapes of wrath are stored
He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword
His truth is marching on.

Glory glory hallelujah!
Glory glory hallelujah!
Glory glory hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

Everybody sing along!

Another band -- a folk instrumentalist dead-ringer for Glen Maxey (if Glen still had shoulder-length hair that was salt-and-pepper) and a soloist singing some old revival hymn, a prayer, another song, a truly great gospel choir of at least 60 African Americans, then an introduction of the co-sponsors by Richard Land: the Dobsons, Tony Perkins, the others ... 

Around ten o'clock Luis Cataldo, the director of The Response, came out and opened the show. He took complete control of the assembly, by this time at least ten and maybe fifteen thousand, with his opening remarks. Paraphrasing from my hastily scribbled notes ...

"This day is for one person. ONE man." (No, he was not referring to the governor of Texas.) "Today will be a day of fasting and prayer, a gathering unto God as the body of Christ to worship, repent, and pray for America. May Jesus' name be lifted above every other name today in Reliant Stadium."

So much for the fasting. For some. More on that in a moment. Cataldo likewise and deservedly praised the diversity of the assembly and went on:

"We will have a Spanish translator shortly, but she is stuck in traffic. Now when she arrives, you'll hear our speakers in English and her Spanish translation immediately following. It will sound a little confusing at first, but after awhile it won't bother you and then you won't even notice it. As you look around, you may see people doing something and you'll ask yourself: 'what are they doing? Why are they doing that? Should I be doing that?' Don't worry about that. Just worship and pray in your own way and don't be concerned with what others are doing."

"Some people are fasting and some are not, for whatever reason. Some people will be praying and singing out loud and some won't. Some will be raising their hands to God and some won't. When we break into small groups later to share our prayers with each other, if you don't have a prayer or can't think of one then say 'Amen', or 'ditto', or 'what he said'. We want you -- the Lord wants you -- to be a participant today, not a spectator. You are standing before God on behalf of America; He wants to hear your voice. But don't worry about what others are doing or how they are doing it. Give grace to God in your own way and allow everyone else the freedom to do the same."

I cannot emphasize this point enough: Cataldo took total control of the crowd. He confronted their biases and their anxiety, and asked -- no, instructed -- them to lay off that burden. And I think his directions mostly took hold, as well.

"We're not selling any merchandise here today. There's no offering being collected. There are no signs or banners, there's no one denomination authorizing or being featured by our guest speakers or musical groups.

"This day is to worship God in spirit and truth, to come together as a diverse body with sincerity, wholeheartedness, and repentance. We believe that America is in a state of crisis. Not just politically, financially or morally, but because we are a nation that has not honored God in our successes nor humbly called on Him in our struggles. According to the Bible, the answer to a nation in such crisis is to gather in humility and ask God to intervene.

"Today is a historic day of people from across the nation to pray and fast for America."

Or something like that. Thoughts of the highway to hell's pavement came to mind often.

The only time things got offensively political was when a stream of teenagers came forward and screamed out prayers for "God's intervention in stopping abortion in America". I wondered if their interpretation of  'God's intervention' includes clinic bombings and doctor assassinations. No, I really do wonder about that. Because I fear that it does.

Rick Perry was scheduled for 11:20 a.m. I left the arena floor around 10:45, my toxicity meter redlining, my phone battery waning and my back teeth floating. As I made my way out I stopped and talked to my fellow Demoncrat Erik Vidor, who was setting up his video camera in front of the soundboard. Knowing there would be plenty of opportunities later to see the Prophet's remarks, I headed up to the concourse, took a piss and then walked outside to find MY people. My Chosen Ones.

Where there was no one in place responding to The Response at 8 a.m. there were now around a couple of hundred, with signs and hats and costumes and songs and chants. There was a large group -- 60 to 75 -- at the front door, in the shade of the towering Reliant structure on the west side facing Kirby Drive at Murworth, and several more gatherings along Kirby all the way down toward 610, collecting under the shade of the small oaks there in numbers of a dozen or so each.

I joined the shady siders and stayed until about 12:30, retiring to break my own fast with a Satan Sandwich, a side socialism salad, and an independent progressive ale at the Sports Page, the bar inside the Holiday Inn, before returning home and streaming The Response's video while joining the Twitter feed. (#theresponse)

More coverage:

More photos from the Houston Chronicle

More photos of protestors from thanks_imjustlurking's Photobucket album

God's Response to Rick Perry

Kate Shellnutt's Believe It or Not live-blog of The Response

Rick Perry ain't whistlin' Dixie ... or is he? (YouTube)

Tens of thousands of Houstonians turn out for back-to-school help

A good seven miles from Gov. Rick Perry's much-anticipated prayer rally, an even larger crowd of Houstonians gathered in preparation for another sacred event: the first day of school.

Some families camped out for hours to gain admittance into Houston's first-ever, citywide back-to-school event at George R. Brown Convention Center, where free backpacks, school supplies, uniforms, haircut vouchers, immunizations and fresh produce were provided.

Others were turned away.

(The article originally contained crowd estimates of 100,000 but that has now been edited out.)

A bit more Response

The ADL's David Furlow presented "Roger Williams, Thomas Jefferson, and the Origins of Religious Freedom" at the Jewish Community Center here last Tuesday evening.



And one more, a classic scene from Blazing Saddles, that exemplifies everything the Christians assembling in Reliant tomorrow and their TeaBagger brethren represent.

Countdown to Prayerpalooza

The governor will give brief remarks, read scripture and offer a prayer in the middle of the seven-hour-long program, said Eric Bearse, spokesman for the event, called The Response.

Even the pandering is bigger in Texas.

Alice Patterson is the Texas state coordinator for The Response. And while The Response is explicitly a nonpartisan event, that hasn't kept Patterson from arguing that the Democratic Party is "an invisible network of evil." Hey, that could mean anything!

Controlled by demons! Demoncrats! It all makes sense now.

"They're intolerant, they're hateful, they're vile, they're spiteful," Family Research Council President Tony Perkins said of gay rights activists in April. "They're not the enemy. The enemy is simply using them as pawns. They are held captive by the enemy." Perkins, whose FRC was recently labeled a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center for its anti-gay rhetoric, has been named as a co-chair of The Response and will speak at the event. Bryan Fischer, the American Family Association's issues director, has taken things even further:

So Hitler himself was an active homosexual. And some people wonder, didn't the Germans, didn't the Nazis, persecute homosexuals? And it is true they did; they persecuted effeminate homosexuals. But Hitler recruited around him homosexuals to make up his Stormtroopers, they were his enforcers, they were his thugs. And Hitler discovered that he could not get straight soldiers to be savage and brutal and vicious enough to carry out his orders, but that homosexual soldiers basically had no limits and the savagery and brutality they were willing to inflict on whomever Hitler sent them after. So he surrounded himself, virtually all of the Stormtroopers, the Brownshirts, were male homosexuals.

All of which is false.

The AFA, which is co-sponsoring the event, recently launched a boycott of the popular Fox television program Glee because it is "glamorizing homosexual behavior."

But it's not just gay people and Democrats they hate; it's grizzly bears and killer whales and the Statue of Liberty and the Sun Goddess.

The recently emerging perception today, PrayerMania Eve, is that all of this attention being paid to Perry, his Response -- and particularly the vicious criticism he has endured -- is drawing legions of sympathetic Christians, previously turned off by the governor's public piety, to rise up and rally to his defense.

Yes, now the spin is that he's being persecuted for his religious beliefs, just like That Other Prophet, and he must be Saved.

I suppose if the Christian Soldiers rallying tomorrow in the football stadium can produce Perry to meet his critics face to face, then perhaps the cross, the nails, and the angry mob could be produced to give them what they want.

A martyr.

FAA goes back to work, no thanks to Congress

Not much to add to Loren Steffy here:

The 13-day shutdown of the Federal Aviation Administration appears to have ended yesterday in a patchwork compromise, and although President Obama praised congressional leaders for “working together,” they really aren’t. It’s Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood that deserves credit for breaking the stalemate.

As I wrote earlier, long-term FAA funding has been mired in a political debate over issues unrelated to agency funding. One pertains to how airlines unionize, and the other to federal subsidies for rural air service. Republicans in the House slipped the rural air provision into the emergency funding bill, and Democrats in the Senate refused to accept it. It was, in the words of Texas Republican Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, a “procedural hand grenade.”

As I said earlier, rural air subsidies are definitely ripe for review, but they are always a political hot potato because no lawmaker wants to vote to eliminate subsidies in his or her own district. In other words, this isn’t the sort of measure that should be determining funding for the agency that oversees the entire commercial aviation infrastructure for the country. But as they did on the debt ceiling debacle, lawmakers gave politics precedence over national interest.

Relief came only after LaHood determined that he has the authority to waive the subsidy cuts, which essentially postpones them until Congress returns from vacation. That enables the Senate to approve the emergency funding by unanimous consent later this morning. But it’s important to realize that Congress did nothing to reach this temporary compromise. If the administration hadn’t intervened, 4,000 FAA workers would remain on furlough and thousands more private-sector construction jobs, including many here in Houston, would remain in limbo.

In the meantime, the shutdown has cost the government some $350 million in lost aviation taxes while lawmakers squabble over $16.5 million worth of route subsidies.

Once again, Congress has attempted to disguise dysfunction and delay as compromise. Lawmakers have resolved nothing, and taxpayers and the FAA will get to endure all this again when Congress returns from vacation.

The GOP is still whining that "card check" The Employee Free Choice Act legislation they continue to stall and obstruct is part of the problem, but that is -- as usual -- false, and a straw man argument.

The Tea Party's full-court assault on the rights of all Americans that aren't white and wealthy is slowing destroying this great nation.

Slow, hell. It's been pretty rapid from my POV.

The response to 'The Response': not what Perry was hoping for

Maybe God has overlooked telling the governor a few details about his big tent prayer meetin'.

And though it won't be nearly as crazy as next week's Jets-Texans preseason opener, there will be a good crowd inside and outside Reliant on Saturday.

Two days before several thousand Christians are scheduled to stream into Reliant Stadium for a day of prayer and fasting on behalf of the nation, organizers still are not releasing the full lineup of program participants and the man who initiated the event seems to be backing away from a prominent role.

When Gov. Rick Perry announced "The Response," in tandem with some of the nation's most conservative preachers and organizations, the accompanying spotlight seemed tailor-made for a presidential candidate-in-waiting, particularly a Republican candidate who must negotiate GOP primaries and caucuses dominated by Religious Right voters.

More recently, however, the spotlight has shifted to the extreme views of those affiliated with the event, including the American Family Association and a contingent of religious leaders with far-right political ties. The governor's role seems to have shifted.

Yeah, he'll be hiding somewhere in a luxury suite with the other bigoted bigwigs, maybe counting the collection plates, but this old-time revival is now less about Rick Perry and more about the mess he's made for himself.

"It is unusual to not announce a final lineup of speakers for an event," said Kent Shaffer, a marketing consultant with ChurchRelevance.com, in an e-mail. "It could be spiritually intentional to keep the focus on prayer. It could be politically intentional to avoid media controversy."

With only one other governor — Sam Brownback of Kansas - tentatively scheduled to attend and with approximately 8,000 RSVPs for a stadium that holds 71,000 people, the event is "much less than the Perry people intended it to be and much more than they intended it to be," said SMU political scientist Cal Jillson.

It is much more, he said, because the outsized attention the event has attracted raises the question of whether a politician "who's so pitch-perfect for Texas is ready for prime time on a national scale."

Perry sent an invitation to all the nation's governors, members of Congress, the Obama administration and the Texas Legislature, among others. Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst, who is running for the U.S. Senate, and House Speaker Joe Straus, who is Jewish, have declined. Last week Perry himself said facetiously that maybe he will be ushering Saturday and perhaps will have no official role.

The Mississippi-based American Family Association is paying for the event. The group condemns homosexuality, opposes abortion rights and argues the First Amendment's guarantee of religious freedom applies only to Christians. The Southern Poverty Law Center has labeled the organization a hate group for spreading misinformation about homosexuals.

The group's notoriety and Perry's association with it, along with his focus on social and religious issues, run the risk of marginalizing a presidential run, Jillson said.

"He can get through this comfortably enough, and sometime between the event and the Iowa straw poll announce for president, but there's a real chance for things to take a dive," Jillson said.

Besides the upwards-of-10,000 prayers and fasters, there will be several hundred, maybe a couple thousand real Americans lining Kirby demonstrating the First Amendment rights that the American Family Association believes belong only to them.

HPD and the county sheriff's department are mobilizing for potential confrontation and security purposes, which means a lot of those horse cops, the ones that like to "accidentally" trample people. I'm certain the governor's own security detail -- you know, the one we pay for but the state refuses to disclose the costs of -- has been increased. Media trucks from all over the nation will be creating their own traffic jam. And if any Christians want to sneak a snack before, or break their fast after, they'll encounter some of those evil "Anti-Christians" celebrating their day of Debauchery and Gluttony in the area's restaurants.

If you're out and about down there, count on seeing a lot of screaming back and forth and maybe some shoving. These New Age Bible-thumpers have more hate, fear, and loathing than even a lot of TeaBaggers. I wonder if any of the Christians will get so angry they pull their guns out.

And it would be interesting if any of the old-school hookers decide to work South Main on Saturday, too. Some people say that those Holy Rollers really like to get their freak on when God isn't looking.

Good times. Here's a list of other responses to The Response:

LGBT Texans Against Hate will hold a rally in downtown Houston's Tranquility Park (406 Rusk St) from 7:00-8:00 p.m. on Friday. The keynote speaker is Rep. Garnet Coleman. The rally will also include participation from Equality Texas, Healing Out Loud, Houston GLBT Community Center, Houston GLBT Political Caucus, Houston Stonewall Young Democrats, Out & Equal, and Resurrection Metropolitan Community Church.

The ACLU of Texas and Americans United for Separation of Church and State will host "Family, Faith and Freedom" at Mt. Ararat Baptist Church (5801 W Montgomery Rd) from 7:00-9:00 p.m. on Friday. Keynote speakers will include the Rev. William Lawson, founding pastor of the Wheeler Avenue Baptist Church, and the Rev. Barry Lynn, executive director of Americans United. The event will also include participation from the Indo-American Political Action Committee for Greater Houston, Humanists of Houston, and Congregation Beth Yeshurun.

The Harris County Democratic Party is hosting a Trailblazers Brunch honoring GLBT elected officials and activists in Houston at the Hyatt Regency Hotel (1200 Louisiana St) on Saturday morning. The honorees include Mayor Annise Parker, Councilmember Sue Lovell, Judge Steven Kirkland, Judge Phyllis Frye, Judge Paul Barnich (posthumously), and activist Linda Morales. More information and tickets.

The Travis County Democratic Party is hosting a march and rally named "Rick Perry: Bad For Texas, Worse for Our Nation". The march begins at 10:30 a.m. at the historic Victory Grill (1101 E. 11th St, Austin) and the rally begins at noon in the Capitol rotunda. More information.

And here's just a snapshot of the coverage it's already generated. The Anti-Defamation League, joined by numerous Houston area clergy and community leaders, issued the following statement:

"One of Houston's greatest strengths is its religious diversity. As part of the Anti-Defamation League's Coalition for Mutual Respect, we are keenly sensitive to the fact that Houstonians may pray differently or not pray at all. We cherish the fact that we can pray freely in our own way, because our founding fathers wisely envisioned and provided for a nation grounded in the principle of separation of church and state. This freedom from government imposed religion allows all religions to flourish in our democratic society. It is with this thought in mind that we express our concern that Governor Rick Perry has called for a full day of exclusionary prayer on August 6, 2011. This religious event is not open to all faiths, as its statement of beliefs does not represent religious diversity."

The American Independent: "Amid outrage in his home state, Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback appears to be skipping out on the upcoming controversial all-day prayer event hosted by Gov. Rick Perry and the American Family Association. While Perry invited all 49 other governors to attend the Houston rally, Brownback stood as the only state leader who accepted. The Lawrence Journal-World reports that since June Brownback’s office 'has been quiet on the subject,' and would not confirm his plans, saying only that the governor would be on vacation when the event takes place this weekend."

The New York Times reports on the negative affect 'The Response' is having on Perry's presidential aspirations: "Since he set up the event scheduled for Saturday, however, Perry has become the most talked-about almost-candidate in the 2012 Republican presidential field. But with only 8,000 RSVPs for a stadium that seats 71,500 people, virtually no politicians planning to attend, and a slate of organizers who hold out-of-mainstream views on religious freedom, gay rights and even Adolf Hitler, the event has become a potentially risky gamble if Perry is serious about running for the White House."

Right Wing Watch: "The event is being held at Reliant Stadium, home of the NFL's Houston Texans, which can seat 86,000 people, so obviously organizers had pretty grand plans for this event. A spokesperson for the stadium said they were expecting 30,000-35,0000 to attend ... but with only a few days to go, the number of confirmed attendees stands at about one-tenth of the stadium's capacity."

And CNN: "It's likely not the response Rick Perry was expecting."

Lastly, Texas Monthly's Paul Burka opines on the political consequences of 'The Response': "This could have had a much different ending. Perry could have made the event nondenominational. He could have invited people and clergy of all faiths. But he elected to make it exclusionary -– and not just exclusionary, but reflective of preachers who have expressed some of the most extreme religious views in Christiandom."

More to come.