Sunday "He Said, Xi Said" Funnies

"Greg Abbott Hits Rock Bottom" Wrangle (w/ updates)

When 'sexual assault' is revealed to be "just" sexual exploitation, you know Governor Hell on Wheels is having a really bad week.

The head of @TxDPS reports to Gov Abbott that the initial findings of the Texas Rangers show no evidence of sexual abuse at a shelter in Bastrop #txlege pic.twitter.com/Y9AjOO8gST

— Scott Braddock (@scottbraddock) March 16, 2022

Four employees remain under investigation by Bastrop officials amid allegations they helped girls escape the shelter. The letter says that "there is no evidence that any of the residents at the Refuge shelter have ever been sexually abused or trafficked while at the shelter."

— Tony Plohetski (@tplohetski) March 16, 2022

This story will undoubtedly be updated.

Update:

.@loiskolkhorst asks @TxDPS director Col. Steve McCraw about initial media reports Thurs night that 7 girls were possibly harmed by 9 employee/perps at The Refuge in Bastrop:

LK: That part of the story didn't happen?
SM: No ma'am.

Background:https://t.co/FAEVNJKE5Q #txlege 1/2 pic.twitter.com/MP8IzLW4um

— Bob Garrett (@RobertTGarrett) March 17, 2022

More as it develops.

Gov. Greg Abbott announced Monday that he has replaced Maj. Gen. Tracy Norris as leader of the Texas Military Department following months of criticism over her handling of Abbott’s controversial border mission. https://t.co/alvDWYgjIo

— Texas Tribune (@TexasTribune) March 14, 2022

“We really don’t understand why we are there,” a service member told the Tribune. “We’re essentially mall security for ranches that already have paid security details to protect them.” https://t.co/1nVN9I8IoW

— KENS 5 (@KENS5) March 16, 2022

Can @GovAbbott remove TX guard from the border & send them to RA Sushi and Greenway Plaza to protect TX citizens from permitless carry? The no background ck/no training thing is a FAIL. #txlege #AbbottFailedTexas @momsdemand https://t.co/vJt2CQzHwt

— jane the hand washer (@moderatemama) March 16, 2022

It's snarky but it isn't funny.  I'll take it as a segue to "Cops Behaving Badly".

Crowd clashes with San Antonio police after fatal shooting https://t.co/BdMPefzrCE

— Laredo Morning Times (@lmtnews) March 15, 2022

BREAKING: HPD officer relieved of duty following child porn charges, department confirms#khou11 #HouNews

https://t.co/zwpUSDeisB

— KHOU 11 News Houston (@KHOU) March 15, 2022

Houston police officers fired for fatal Nicolas Chavez shooting to be reinstated, arbitrator rules https://t.co/2fvrEcX1FX via @houstonchron #hounews

— Matt Schwartz (@SchwartzChron) March 14, 2022

Sylvester Turner gave Houston cops a raise just last week in contract negotiations that were kept secret from public scrutiny.

Police contract negotiations are transparent in some cities, with some even allowing public participation.

But in Houston, which spends about $1 billion on policing, negotiations happen behind closed doors.https://t.co/CAPsn6evJI

— Houston Public Media (@HoustonPubMedia) March 15, 2022

And it's not just the cops wearing badges that are the problem.

NEW: After a string of high-profile losses, Harris County DA Kim Ogg is left to battle critics on all sides https://t.co/aecBJLV3xs

— St. John Barned-Smith ⚔️ (@stjbs) March 16, 2022

But county commissioners have decided they're not going to take all the blame from the "tuff on krime" contingent.

Last week, Harris County Commissioners Court took aim at the bail bonding industry saying it was part of the reason for the rise in violent crime. https://t.co/OcSC7NFUuz

— FOX26Houston (@FOX26Houston) March 16, 2022

Last, as Beto (and other people running for statewide office in November who won't get the headlines) declares he will legalize it, a new opportunity for cannabis may be in the offing.

Can #Texas combat the opioid crisis with expanded medical marijuana use? https://t.co/mQRyLsfwaX pic.twitter.com/lHSCvf0and

— KXAN News (@KXAN_News) March 15, 2022

If Abbott's little helpers are going to pass out pill bottles marked as fentanyl, then someone ought to pass them a joint.

Shifting gears to catch up on the latest regarding our elections.

Breaking AP exclusive: AUSTIN, Texas (AP) — AP review shows Texas rejected about 13% of mail ballots, nearly 23,000 total, in first election under new voting law. #txlege Our latest: https://t.co/ZMLKYxTEMP

— Acacia C (@acacia_coronado) March 16, 2022

Of the election officials in a new survey who said they were likely to leave their jobs before 2024, the most common reasons why were that too many politicians were attacking "a system that they know is fair and honest," and that the job was too stressful. https://t.co/ZOEuLbaEYW

— NPR Politics (@nprpolitics) March 12, 2022

JUST IN: Continuing a trend, 5th US Circuit Court of Appeals rules for Texas in three lawsuits challenging the states voting laws.
1/

— Chuck Lindell (@chucklindell) March 16, 2022

Follow the thread for links to the rulings.  Update: More from TXElects.  Kuff also rounded up news reports about mail ballot rejections from the primaries.

Here's a few environmental pieces of note.

The state government needs to create policies for the regulatory framework to make CCUS possible. When this happens, Texas can lead the world and show how to create and use hydrogen for affordable, dependable, and sustaining energy. Read & RT: https://t.co/EZAiBq0nnr #txlege

— Carbon Neutral Coalition (@CarbonNeutral_) March 15, 2022

Went to Houston last week to try to understand how the oil & gas industry is navigating this moment.

Here's my stab at a comprehensive write-up of what I found: vengeful companies using war to insulate themselves against existential transition risk https://t.co/xmxFW6MOfi

— Kate Aronoff (@KateAronoff) March 14, 2022

After #txlege inaction, we have another chance to get this done! Tell @TCEQ you support the petition for a new rule preventing wastewater from being dumped into our cleanest and clearest streams and rivers: https://t.co/SmvFZW3G4t pic.twitter.com/CvFmAuMSFt

— Texas Sierra Club (@TexasSierraClub) March 15, 2022

Well, isn't that cute? Halliburton has solar panels on its silos for fracking sand. There is now an actual frickin' sand shortage because all the oil companies cannot frack fast enough to gouge consumers. pic.twitter.com/Q5ghqxDUBw

— Etaoin Shrdlu (@Shrdlu) March 13, 2022

And the Texas Living Waters Project urged lawmakers to seize the opportunity to transform the state’s fragile water infrastructure.

Here's some social justice items.

Texas is studying its chronic teacher shortages, but experts already have a solution: Pay them more https://t.co/4gQvIxnyCz

— Houston Chronicle (@HoustonChron) March 14, 2022

NEWS: ‘This is the beginning’: President Smatresk meets with protestors, denounces YCT

📝 @starshipalex
📸 Jaqueline Martinezhttps://t.co/kxJlN5eMkE

— North Texas Daily (@ntdaily) March 11, 2022

Was honored to be chosen to do the audiobook reading if this significant, meaningful book by the great Jim Schutze…listen and learn how and things got to be this way in Dallas and why they’re still that way https://t.co/s2WrJBAIbT

— Mike Rhyner (@theoldgreywolf) March 17, 2022

"In total, our team discovered disciplinary actions taken against physicians licensed in Texas spread out over 30 different states — with no record on the TMB website." @KXAN_News @MattGrantKXAN @hueyjayd #patientsafety #txlegehttps://t.co/HcJoWW5pVU

— Texas Watch (@TexasWatch) March 16, 2022

“The city is denying reality.” Houston officials refuse to answer questions by @Dexinvestigates about shoddy property surveys that are creating a huge legal mess for First Ward residents:https://t.co/vPopZcgxb8 #hounews

— John Tedesco (@John_Tedesco) March 13, 2022

Some news of the weird and trivial:

Texas Monthly reports on the booming swinger club action.  The Dallas Observer defends Peggy Hill, as a person and as a parent.

And last ...

The Austin Chronicle eulogized Sister Bobbie Nelson.

Ok y'all I have tried my hand at film criticism.

Genuinely recommend this documentary: https://t.co/4Wx106rVNo #sxsw

— Gus Bova (@gusbova) March 14, 2022

3/12/64 The Astrodome passes a crucial test as the removal of towers that supported the steel dome is complete, proving the structure could stand on its own. On hand were Colt .45s personnel, Harris County officials, Warren Giles (NL president), and astronaut Alan Shepard. pic.twitter.com/v6X4b9JRTo

— Mike Acosta (@AstrosTalk) March 13, 2022

Maerki's Bakery on Congress Avenue in Austin, 1890s. The building still stands. This is what it looks like today:https://t.co/Z56kh9iGi5

Pretty cool! pic.twitter.com/yXpuyWvKVg

— Traces of Texas (@TracesofTexas) March 12, 2022

A Spring Break Wrangle from Far Left Texas

So much to do!  South by Southwest, RodeoHouston, St. Patrick's Day!  So much to watch!  March Madness, spring training baseball (with the hot stove league pots boiling over)!  Why, there's barely enough time to mock our prudish Texas conservatives for all their horrendous conduct.  But someone has to take out the trash ...

#SXSW sharpens focus on #TXLege's culture war on women, parents, voters ...https://t.co/GfBQwKTKFH #SXSW2022 #SXSW22

— Forever in debt to your priceless advice. (@PDiddie) March 15, 2022

‘Stay out of my body’: Lizzo slams Texas abortion, anti-trans policies during Q&A at SXSW Film Festival > https://t.co/AoIBf9BKVq #KPRC2

— KPRC 2 Houston (@KPRC2) March 14, 2022

"We are thinking less about the attorney general and governor — and more about our values, which are all around inclusion, diversity and freedom of choice. We need to stand for our values" - Bottle Rocket CEO#txlege https://t.co/aiUjDNAZxY

— Texas Competes (@TXCompetes) March 12, 2022

In the second rally in Austin in as many days, supporters of gender affirming care for trans youth show up at the Texas Capital.

Rep. ⁦@ErinForYall⁩, a founding member of the ⁦@txlgbtqcaucus⁩, opens it. She says there’s a doc “Mama Bears” in the works. #txlege pic.twitter.com/CUuybqg9SW

— Lauren McGaughy 🌟 (@lmcgaughy) March 14, 2022

Here's a little recap of what's going on in #Texas with the fight for #trans rights. There's a lot happening so this is a thread. 🧵@AustinChronicle has me writing about #trans rights. It's important to me. And should be to you also. https://t.co/fIdjpsZksQ #ProtectTransKids

— Kit O'Connell (They/He) (@KitOConnell) March 11, 2022

Folks gathered at the Texas Governor's mansion today have strong feelings about Gov. Abbott #txlege pic.twitter.com/zNOk04azTA

— Scott Braddock (@scottbraddock) March 13, 2022

Violet Augustine increased her goal of raising $11,000 to $111,000, so she can move her transgender daughter to safety. She fears harassment after Gov. Abbott's directive to investigate families who provide gender-affirming care to trans children.
https://t.co/R4daUZMmIk

— WFAA (@wfaa) March 14, 2022

The battle in Texas to criminalize parents of trans kids started with Jeff Younger.

A few years ago, he was going thru a bitter custody battle with his ex-wife over their child's transition — which he opposed. He took it public and the GOP latched on.https://t.co/rSeJ30NuEp

— Rebekah Allen (@rebekahallen) March 14, 2022

Enough of that unpleasantry.  On to the snark (and the rest).

Pussy Riot at #sxsw: "F*ck Putin" https://t.co/0Xgg2KQezM #SXSW2022 #SXSW22

— Forever in debt to your priceless advice. (@PDiddie) March 14, 2022

A perfect point for #txlege at #SxSW⁩ @WeedMaps Texas may *think* it’s being conservative but it’s failure to act & #FundCriminalJustice only opens the door to dangerous black market wares. Here’s a plan for dealing with cannabis the smart way https://t.co/kryFYC2hHA pic.twitter.com/JQY4129Nba

— Susan Hays (@hays4ag) March 14, 2022

The man brought slabs! Bun B made history as the first Black man from Houston to headline a concert at the rodeo. Congrats! 👏👏 https://t.co/A7aSaZN4jL

— ABC13 Houston (@abc13houston) March 13, 2022

San Antonio's St. Patrick's Day parade ranked one of best in U.S. https://t.co/C4vJ4QELoL

— Laredo Morning Times (@lmtnews) March 14, 2022

The first of our two-part spring road trips series takes you on three different journeys: a kolache trail with two different routes; a drive following the era of Comanche Chief Quanah Parker; and an overnight trip following the historic El Camino Real. https://t.co/Jv8FEsmZ90

— Texas Highways Magazine (@TexasHighways) March 12, 2022

An urbanist's travelogue in America's fourth-largest city. Come for the bbq, stay for the architecture. https://t.co/MCVbxWC244 pic.twitter.com/pipokMJwms

— Salim Furth (@salimfurth) March 14, 2022

I am not sure who did the colorizing on this photo of downtown Dallas in 1942 but it's awesome. Who can tell me what street this is?

Photo by Arthur Rothstein. pic.twitter.com/CQmA0y7dtj

— Traces of Texas (@TracesofTexas) March 12, 2022

Back to the usual grind later this week.

Sunday "I'll Do Anything But That" Funnies

The Legal and Social Justice Wrangle from Far Left Texas

Opening today with the growing crusade by Greg Abbott and Ken Paxton to prosecute Texans for raising their children in a manner of their own choosing.  Those efforts have been blocked for now.

A Texas appeals court sided with the parents of a transgender teenager in a ruling Wednesday, rejecting Attorney General Ken Paxton’s efforts to allow a child abuse investigation to proceed. | via @TexasTribune https://t.co/TG2GcqsMMp

— KUT Austin (@KUT) March 9, 2022

.@MayorAdler proclaims March 9 as Transgender Youth and Family Safety Day. 🏳️‍⚧️ The City stands in solidarity with our LGBTQIA+ community and will protect their rights to seek care + feel physically and mentally safe in our community. pic.twitter.com/IeZ6Rz3fJN

— City of Austin (@austintexasgov) March 9, 2022

Thousands have remained in the shadows following Gov. Greg Abbott’s directive calling for parents of transgender youth to be investigated for child abuse if they support medical interventions. But one family is speaking out against “state terrorism.” https://t.co/W1KhKVZ3KD

— Houston Chronicle (@HoustonChron) March 9, 2022

Texas Lawyers who specialize in LGBTQ family law say the number of families reaching out in fear of potential child abuse investigations is unlike anything they’ve ever seen. https://t.co/LP88XFoNqR

— Texas Tribune (@TexasTribune) March 8, 2022

NEW: The only specialty clinic for transgender youth in Texas closed last year with little explanation.

I obtained phone recordings of hospital executives discussing political pressure they were under to close it, including from Gov. Greg Abbott's officehttps://t.co/B6paZT72re

— Azeen Ghorayshi (@azeen) March 8, 2022

A business alliance of large TX employers like Microsoft and Amazon released a joint statement condemning the AG and Governor's attack on trans kids.

But according to @JuddLegum, 11 of their companies donated $138,000 to Abbott and Paxton's campaigns. https://t.co/zMp3FcCF6a

— Gillian Branstetter (@GBBranstetter) March 3, 2022

This week's #politicalcartoon by @Branchtoon.#Abbott #Paxton #transrights pic.twitter.com/DkaFcdrNYX

— Houston Chronicle Opinion (@ChronOpinion) March 1, 2022

"We realized we wouldn't feel comfortable asking LGBTQ+ voices from the Clubhouse community to come to Texas...and if we feel that way, we shouldn't be there at all," a Clubhouse spokesperson said. | via @NPR https://t.co/MLKjcWjKXW

— KUT Austin (@KUT) March 4, 2022

We are proud to have @TLDEF Exec. Director @AndyMarra on the @SXSW panel "Trans Texans Need Us: Hear From the Front Lines" along with @TransTexas, Charlie Apple, @DiamondStylz of @MarshasPlate, & @jessicashortall. #SXSW2022 #txlege Join us on March 13: https://t.co/hn1iI0XCaY https://t.co/27NloGkcw0 pic.twitter.com/8O6yYEEt01

— Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund (@TLDEF) March 8, 2022

Concern for the burden of Texas teachers has also surged.

This is a joke right? After all that manufactured outrage about CRT and potentially criminalizing educators? Or helping gender challenged kids. Banning/burning books? Why would anyone who cares about kids want to teach in Texas? #txlege https://t.co/B9DXPzchzp

— harvey kronberg (@HKronberg) March 8, 2022

“The average pay for teachers has not increased between 2010 and 2019; it instead decreased from $55,433 to $54,192.”

You’re welcome, task force. https://t.co/G6hcQv8EOF

— Emily Ramshaw (@eramshaw) March 8, 2022

Texas Library Association forms coalition against banning bookshttps://t.co/v2J03VGs6Q

— KXAN News (@KXAN_News) March 8, 2022

ICYMI: A 3rd @collincollege professor has filed a free speech lawsuit against the school.

In this case, the prof claims the school didn't renew his contract after he called for Confederate statues to be removed in Dallas & criticized their COVID plan:https://t.co/d98hZAXx7N

— Kate McGee (@McGeeReports) March 9, 2022

Brittney Griner becomes a secondary casualty -- or perhaps a prisoner -- of the Russian war on Ukraine.  She may eventually be a bargaining chip.

Over the weekend, news broke that the WNBA star, one of the best basketball players Texas has ever produced, has been in custody in Russia for weeks. How that happened: https://t.co/oVQZnB7Diq

— Texas Monthly (@TexasMonthly) March 7, 2022

Abbott megadonor Kelcy Warren's attorney against @BetoORourke has represented Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska, a close associate of Vladimir Putin and a business partner of Donald Trump's former campaign manager Paul Manafort. So, not much different. https://t.co/pLd8BTOhlf

— Scott Braddock (@scottbraddock) March 7, 2022

I may have more about this defamation lawsuit in a subsequent politics Wrangle, or I may just Tweet a few items.  This is the sort of red-blue bantering that simply does not interest me all that much any more, TBH.  I will echo Shells Seas and say that when we start barbecueing the 1%, I'm lining up for a fatty piece of Kelcy Warren's rump.

Let's see what the bad-behaving cops have been up to lately.

Billie Davis was an unhoused Houston man repeatedly harassed by cops. He couldn't pay a few thousand dollars cash premium to buy his release after he was charged with trying to get away from cops. Because he was poor, he was transferred to a for-profit private jail in Louisiana.

— Alec Karakatsanis (@equalityAlec) March 4, 2022

BREAKING NEWS: The sheriff of Dimmit County, Marion Boyd, has been arrested on charges involving stalking, oppression and evidence tampering.https://t.co/PvgpqPyjmA

— News 4 San Antonio (@News4SA) March 3, 2022

Denton police have confirmed that a woman was struck by a University of North Texas police car as law enforcement drove Republican Jeff Younger from a speaking engagement on campus Wednesday night. https://t.co/1kehM5E0rP

— DentonRC (@DentonRC) March 3, 2022

(You miss the Jeff Younger talk?  He didn't get to say much actually.)

ICE quietly collected millions of people’s financial records as part of a surveillance program that fed the information to a database accessed by local and federal law enforcement agencies. https://t.co/RiZkQJLxwy via @Haleaziz

— Adolfo Flores (@aflores) March 8, 2022

BOOM!

Today, the courts sided with our client. A federal court ruling will prohibit the government from using public health authorities, like Title 42, to deport families seeking asylum at our borders. pic.twitter.com/Oy7fNHsS11

— RAICES (@RAICESTEXAS) March 4, 2022

Both the ACLU of Texas and anti-gun death activist Shannon Watts noticed the Border Patrol's fascist actions at Brownsville's Charro Days weekend-before-last.

Scoop: Texas State Bar complaint moves forward against AG Ken Paxton over attempt to overturn 2020 electionhttps://t.co/jM6gbK2pWS

— Taylor Goldenstein (@taygoldenstein) March 8, 2022

BREAKING: Austin officials have settled a lawsuit for $2.95 million from Brad Ayala, who was 16 years old when a police projectile seriously injured him in the May 2020 protests. The city has now agreed in total to pay more than $13 million in protester claims from the munitions. pic.twitter.com/FDp2PS3w35

— Tony Plohetski (@tplohetski) March 3, 2022

Last: H-Town mayor Sly Turner still loves him some po-po.

Someone ask the mayor how much these police raises are expected to cost the city and how we'll pay for it.

Last I heard, the city is consistently strapped for cash because of the revenue cap, and HPD is the city's biggest department so...are we rich now?https://t.co/UoxuYtoUNS

— Jaison Oliver (@oJaison) March 3, 2022

For an in-depth look at why police unions are so powerful, please read my @TexasMonthly profile of former @HPOUTX president Joe Gamaldi. You'll learn that Mayor Turner and nearly every member of the Houston City Council receive union campaign contributions https://t.co/e7JuX1YbwK

— Michael Hardy (@mkerrhardy) March 4, 2022

All eyes are now on the Texas Supreme Court after Mayor Turner doubled down Wednesday in their fight against equal pay for firefighters. https://t.co/h6pUNMPJi3

— Chron (@chron) March 9, 2022

One conservative who behaved badly got his comeuppance this week.

Guy Reffitt, Texan whose son turned him in, guilty on 5 charges from Jan. 6th insurrection https://t.co/NF5Ruv4qEy

— Forever in debt to your priceless advice. (@PDiddie) March 8, 2022

But the fascists aren't letting up.

Meet @MrAndyNgo's new buddies @KeepDallasSafe, who ran a firm called Crowds on Demand using paid actors to manufacture political incidents for corporate clients. More recently they've been manufacturing incidents with Ngo, the master of the craft.https://t.co/4Ybo7c3SMT

— Barrett Brown (@BarrettB) March 6, 2022

A few labor pieces:

Workers at the Starbucks location on 24th and Nueces streets near the University of Texas have formed a union. https://t.co/xLWgvHgHjn

— KVUE News (@KVUE) March 8, 2022

While Kroger's profits soar, their workers are left out in the cold.

This is what bosses really think of the "essential workers" they once lauded! https://t.co/8M07TBEz8f

— Austin DSA (@austin_DSA) March 8, 2022

Healthcare workers in TX are being pushed to our limits, but a new report indicates @HCAhealthcare may be exacerbating the crisis with TENS OF THOUSANDS of unnecessary ED patient admissions: https://t.co/f7qt01WgVW

— SEIU Texas (@SEIUTX) March 3, 2022

When @Gannett’s lawyer stops by the @statesman for a visit…you can bet the @AustinNewsGuild will send a welcoming committee 🦇#keepaustininformed #saveourstatesman #FAIRCONTRACTNOW pic.twitter.com/S5oLTGLWCa

— Madlin Mekelburg (@madlinbmek) March 3, 2022

"It galled me that the Cowboys refused to pay their cheerleaders a living wage, only to pay them off handsomely behind closed doors. That $2.4 million settlement could have covered all the cheerleaders’ measly $15 per game for more than 550 seasons."https://t.co/VLhKIeZKLZ

— Texas Monthly (@TexasMonthly) February 26, 2022

Wrapping up this very long Wrangle with some social justice and injustice items.  A couple of people picked up on the irony of renaming SH288 the Barbara Jordan Memorial Parkway.

The Texas General Land Office discriminated against communities of color when it doled out federal relief funds after Hurricane Harvey, the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development found. https://t.co/sFi06tYSXV

— WFAA (@wfaa) March 8, 2022

Houston is hailed as a national success for fighting homelessness. But the reality isn’t quite as rosy. https://t.co/mvVyYB3qkM via @TexasObserver #HouNews #HTX

— Forever in debt to your priceless advice. (@PDiddie) March 8, 2022

4,164 Texans died from gun violence in 2020.

Yet Senators Ted Cruz and John Cornyn do everything in their power to block change. The #TXleg passes weak gun laws that endanger public safety.

We installed the Houston Gun Violence Memorial to call on their #CourageToAct. pic.twitter.com/70a41PmZhE

— Giffords (@GiffordsCourage) March 9, 2022

Larry Callies says historically white men were cowhands and slaves were cowboys until Hollywood took on the term the in 1920s. https://t.co/0DIzDDPGQK

— KHOU 11 News Houston (@KHOU) March 6, 2022

German detainees in a beer garden in the Crystal City Internment Camp in Crystal City, Texas, back in 1944. Many Texans don't know that, from 1943-1948, the U.S. government operated an interment camp in Crystal City for families of German and Japanese descent. pic.twitter.com/sHDFTfyN6M

— Traces of Texas (@TracesofTexas) March 9, 2022