Sunday Funnies

Perry flack: GOP cannot be "best little whorehouse in Texas"

"You're just a dirty ol' whore, arncha."

Governor Suckseed's political consultant, Rick Carney:

Carney said he agreed the Republican Party needed to attract new voters. But, he added, "that doesn't mean you take your principles and throw them out the door and become a whorehouse and let anybody in who wants to come in, regardless."

Now this is hardly the stuff of legend, especially for a cunning linguist like Rick Perry (remember that he apprenticed for years at Dubya's knee), but as it turns out several "prominent GOP women" -- let me pause to dab the corners of my mouth with my linen napkin and purse my lips tightly -- gasped and fainted at the remark:

"As businesswomen, community leaders and mothers, it is always concerning and disheartening when we see people resort to behavior aimed at belittling women. Therefore, you cannot imagine how appalling it was to see your campaign's chief strategist liken our Senior Senator's primary campaign to 'opening the doors of a whorehouse.'"

Who are these horrified ladies?

Why, glad you asked. They include Denise McNamara of Dallas, Kris Anne Vogelpohl of Galveston, Lisa Nowlin of Lubbock, Rosalind Redfern Grover of Midland, Jacque Allen of Wichita Falls and Betsy Lake and Penny Butler of Houston. Apparently they form the core of the Kay Bailey Resistance Movement. More from Lady McNamara ...

McNamara's letter accused Perry of engaging in "slash and burn rhetoric." And she said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press that it's not the first time Perry's campaign has resorted to name-calling.

"It just shows, to me, a lack of class," said McNamara. "This kind of remark should ostracize social conservatives and people who appreciate civility in politics."

(guffawing)

McNamara, a former national party committeewoman, said Hutchison has tried to refrain from attacking Perry because of his role as Texas' leader during the five-month legislative session that began in January.

"That's about to wrap up," McNamara said, predicting Hutchison will soon move into full campaign mode.

Which no doubt includes watching her carefully peel off her elbow-length silk gloves, adjust her frozen coiffure, and shake her finger seven times in Suckseed's general direction.

Maybe this Republican primary will eventually be entertaining -- beyond that "civility in politics" sniff, anyway -- but we're not quite there yet.

Let's just give Dick this week's Douchie

... and be done with it. Five deferments and "other priorities during Vietnam" vs. Navy SEAL and SERE school graduate. Think I'm going with the soldier.

Happy Memorial Day weekend, everybody. Don't over-grill the steaks, be sure and thank a veteran (like Jesse Ventura, even) and don't shoot anybody in the face.

Stimulus money to be used to repair Governor's Mansion

At least it's a shovel-ready project:

While Gov. Rick Perry is criticizing Washington bailouts, state lawmakers are planning to use $11 million in federal stimulus money to help rebuild the badly burned Texas Governor's Mansion.

Approximately $10 million in state tax money will also be spent on a renovation, which is expected to cost about $20 million, officials said Thursday. A House-Senate committee agreed on the expenditures late Wednesday night.

The mansion was burned in an arson fire last summer.

Perry has railed against federal bailouts and what he called the free-spending, power-hungry ways of Washington. In January, he said Texas was endangered by Uncle Sam's "audacity."

Perry spokeswoman Allison Castle released a short, written statement late Thursday when asked about using stimulus money to renovate the mansion.

"We are continuing to work with lawmakers on the budget," she said.

Secede much?

The governor has been living in a three-story, limestone home with a heated pool, an outdoor cabana and a guest house.

The state is paying some $9,900-a-month in rent while the Governor's Mansion undergoes renovations, records show.

It's just completely within character for the irony to be lost on this guy.