What's wrong with telecom immunity anyway?

This:

Dear United States Senate,

Please pass a bill that gives me immunity from breaking the law. Now -- and this is awkward -- I can't tell you which law I broke or when I first broke it, or the specifics of how I came to break that law. I can't tell you what the results of my breaking of the law have been, and I cannot tell you how long I have been breaking the law. I can, however, assure you that I broke whichever law I broke for a very good reason, which is that President George W. Bush told me to break it.

I can't tell you whether or not George W. Bush had the authority to tell me to break the law, because I can't tell you how I broke the law. So maybe I didn't break the law at all, because George W. Bush says I didn't, but on the other hand George W. Bush lacks the power to declare who did or did not break the law, because it is not for him to say, so I probably did break the law, in a manner I can't discuss.

Anyway, I think you will agree that the only available option is to pass a law declaring that it is OK that I broke whatever law I broke, if I broke it, because if you do not I will be sad and people will be mad at me and possibly try to hold me accountable for breaking the law that I can't tell you I broke.

It is very important to give me blanket immunity for breaking the law, whichever law I broke, for reasons that I am also not allowed to tell you. Please get right on it -- preferably tomorrow. If you have time.

P.S. I am not a crackpot.

Harry Reid is bringing the FISA bill up for a vote today Monday -- placing, as the NYT notes ...

... Democratic senators like Christopher Dodd and Russ Feingold in the absurd position of having to stage filibusters against their own party’s leadership to try to forestall more harm to civil liberties.

And mcjoan finishes:

Reid won't only be going against Feingold and Dodd on this. He'll be going against Daniel Akaka and Bob Menendez--not your average liberal firebrands, but Senators who signed on to that letter opposing telco amnesty.

He's also be going against Senators Biden, Clinton, and Obama, all of whom will hopefully remember their promise to support Dodd's filibuster, if necessary.

It's time for some real leadership in the Senate, for someone to stand up to Bush. This would be a great place to start, and our presidential candidates are just the people for the job.

With the news earlier this week about Nancy Pelosi assisting in the waterboarding of our democracy, I would have to say that I'm at the end of the line with my Democrat Congressional leadership. This FISA bill needs to go down in flames, one way or another.

Or else the Democrats in Washington are going to.

Update (12/15): The vote is now scheduled for Monday. For the next three days I will be calling Democratic Senators in other states requesting their assistance in thwarting this retroactive immunity legislation, since I do not have any goddamned Senators in my state who represent me in Washington.

2007 Texan(s) of the Year

The Texas Progressive Alliance is proud to announce the Texas House leadership team of state representatives Jim Dunnam, Garnet Coleman, and Pete Gallego as our 2007 recipients of the Texan of the Year award.

There may not be three individuals who have done more for Democrats in the state of Texas over the past four years than Dunnam, Coleman, and Gallego. Together in 2007, they led the way for the resurgence of the Texas Democratic Party. They were on the front lines battling Speaker Craddick in the final days of the session, and are now poised to add to the Democratic gains in the House as they continue their roles as co-chairs of the House Democratic Campaign Committee.

Their work together is imperative to the continued progress of Democrats in Texas, but it's their individual efforts that really demonstrate how this leadership team brings out the best in one another for the good of all Texans. Here's a brief highlight of what each of these leaders did over the past year:

Jim Dunnam

Where Democrats had a mere 62 members in the House in 2003, today there are 70, including Kirk England, who announced his intention to switch parties and run as a Democrat in the next cycle. And with the extra troops there was mustered a full frontal assault on Craddick's corrupt leadership, launched by a single question from the Waco Democrat: "Mr. Speaker, what is the process of removing the Speaker of the Texas House?" His mastery of the House rules was incredible to watch.

During the 80th legislative session, Dunnam led efforts to clean up the mess Rick Perry and the Republican leadership made at the Texas Youth Commission. He worked with Coleman and Gallego to lead the fight against expanding tax cuts for the richest 10% of Texans at the expense of health care and education. He passed numerous bills for his district but will forever be remembered for the efforts he made on the House floor, challenging the absolute power of Speaker Craddick.

Garnet Coleman

Coleman is one of the most progressive members of the Texas House. He filed over sixty pieces of legislation, including ending tuition deregulation, overturning the ban on gay marriage, and preventing the construction of new toll roads anywhere in the state of Texas. But beyond those strong policy positions, he successfully passed legislation to expand health care opportunities for former foster children and double the funding for cancer research. He continued his fight to fully restore CHIP -- an effort he's worked for ever since Craddick and his allies kicked hundreds of thousands of kids off their state-sponsored health care beginning in 2003.

Beyond his legislative work, Coleman is the top fundraiser for Texas Democrats and is well-known for his non-stop efforts in supporting House Democrats across the state. He chairs the Legislative Study Group, which received a Silver Star award from the TPA for its policy work.

Pete Gallego

Gallego is the chair of of the largest bipartisan legislative caucus in the Texas House, the Mexican-American Legislative Caucus. He also sits on the national board of NALEO. He was a top lieutenant for Speaker Pete Laney, and his work from that better time allows him to remain one of the most trusted members of the Texas House.

His policy issues are far-reaching and range from helping protect our state's natural resources to preventing those horrid voter ID bills behind the scenes. Gallego also tempered some of the more controversial issues of the session, including immigration and security. He often makes waves quietly inside the Capitol, but his efforts help thousands of Texans from all walks of life.

Together, Representatives Gallego, Dunnam, and Coleman are extremely deserving of our 2007 Texan of the Year award.

A side-effect of my use of Human Post Hormone

NBA, hot stove league, and Mitchell report hap'nins

Sports postpourri. First, from my basketball insider newsletter:

Steve Nash handed his tooth to a trainer after a Carlos Boozer elbow dislodged it and then gave a hilarious halftime interview to the cameras on his way to a 29-point night. Nash finished with six boards, 11 assists and three 3-pointers on a 10-of-12 shooting night as the Suns beat the Jazz. He gave the interview with an exaggerated lisp, highlighting part of his missing tooth, which was fun to watch.

-- The Astros made a big trade yesterday. I think it'll work out OK for them; Troy Patton's stock has dropped a bit over the last year. He projects as a third or fourth starter, though he's not ready for the bigs yet. Luke Scott should start over Jay Payton in left field for the O's, at least against righties, but he may not be more than a one- or two-year solution. Matt Albers has fourth-starter potential but belongs in the pen right now, as he's primarily a two-pitch pitcher. Dennis Sarfate, a waiver claim from the Brewers, emerged as a viable late-game relief candidate at the end of last season; he has, however, a long history of command problems. Mike Costanzo was the strikeout-prone third base prospect the Astros picked up from the Phillies in the Brad Lidge deal.

I'd say the Orioles got about as much as they could for Tejada, and the Astros -- provided they do something in a trade for pitching with Chris Burke, Adam Everett, or Ty Wigginton, or all three -- improved themselves the most with this deal.

Update: Richard Justice seems to have a mixed opinion. And Adam Everett signed a free-agent contract with the Minnesota Twins shortly after this posting.

--Start rehearsing your "Fukudome" jokes now:

The Cubs reeled in another marquee free agent, reaching a preliminary agreement with Japanese star Kosuke Fukudome on a four-year, $48 million deal to be their right fielder. ...

In Fukudome, they have added a needed left-handed bat who can get on base, hit with power, run and play strong defense.

"He's been our target acquisition from day one," Cubs general manager Jim Hendry said Wednesday when the Cubs announced the deal pending Fukudome passing a physical next week in Chicago.

Considered one of the best outfielders in Japanese baseball, the 30-year-old slugger was a key member of the team that won the inaugural World Baseball Classic in March 2006.

If Harry Carey was still alive, there wouldn't be a green leaf on the outfield walls of Wrigley Field this April before WGN lost their broadcast license.

-- The Rocket was allegedly on the juice. More names this afternoon. "It's going to be a rough day in the Bronx," the Bergen Record quotes the source -- a strength coach employed by the Yankees as well as a personal trainer to Clemens and Andy Pettitte.