Sunday Funnies

Good Puppy Academy, Class of 2007

The little black puppy (photo here) has given way to a tan adolescent. When Teddi gets her next grooming, her winter coat and baby fuzz will be gone, revealing a lanky dog; a German Shepard's body and a Chow-Chow's head.

She graduated from obedience school yesterday. Good thing it was a pass/fail course, because I would have graded her out C-minus on a curve.

Bush's "soiled and blood-soaked underwear" and additional bloggerrhea

-- Sean Penn defeated pretend-Fascist Stephen Colbert in last night's Metaphor-Off. This classic debate is one of the most hilarious things ever shown on television. No video I can yet find, but will add it here later. Here we go:



-- Freeper responses to yesterday's Gonzo-palooza:

"I am hoping against hope AG Gonzalez slaps these jerks down... Clinton’s firing of over 90 US attorneys... Gonzales needs to check his tongue the door... the AG is rambling... This is bad... AG is stuttering... Yikes... AG has nothing to loose by starting to kick some serious butt... He’s doing a little better now... I take it back. I’ll have a hub cap full of Marguerita’s please... Poor AG is simply not ready for the bigs... Pathetic... the Clintons... I keep wanting to tell Gonzo to stop talking... I’ll take 3 Rum Runners... This is not his best hearing... Gonzales is obviously a boob... Clinton and Reno... Its like watching someone eat themselves to death... I can’t take any more of this. Gonzales is pathetic... wounded deer in the clutches of wild beasts... GONZALES is getting reamed... this is like a tooth extraction without anaesthesia... Sadly, Shumer’s remarks seem to be correct... Make John Bolton the new AG in a recess appointment, or Ann Coulter... this worse than the a Friday the 13th movie. It is a bloodbath... Clinton... Clinton... Clinton... Is this guy retarded?... Gonzales is doing an awful job... Clinton... W needs to cut his loses... can anybody who is watching this really say that this is the guy we want as AG?... It’s embarrassing. Lights are on but nobody’s home... He is like Miers or Brown... After watching this I wouldn’t want him to handle a traffic ticket for me... Janet Reno... Clinton..."

Will Pitt, after watching the hearings:

I am sometimes motivated to distrust my own internal Outrage-O-Meter whenever the needle pins deep in the red zone. Am I just too involved? Too biased? Is my bottle so filled with this nonsense that small pours into it become flooding slop-overs?

I watched every second of those hearings.

I think that was among the most embarrassing things I've ever seen. I'm ashamed for my country after that. This man is in the line of succession? Egads and gad zooks.

Was it really as spoon-bendingly bad as it seemed to me?

-- Jimmie "JJ from Good Times" Walker and Annthrax Coulter draw the paparazzi like they usually draw flies. I'm so old I remember when JJ was as emaciated as Coulter.

-- "Internet Argument" is another great toon from August J. Pollack that couldn't wait for the Sunday Funnies.

-- Tom DeLay compares himself to the Duke lacrosse players who were falsely accused of rape, and repeats his double-negative: "I haven’t been found guilty of nothing."

Must stop here, because I'm still laughing so hard it's difficult to breathe.

Richardson outpolls "Other" and "No F'ing Clue"

Edwards stretches his lead over Obama to 43-25 in April's survey of Kossacks. Hillary finally pulls ahead of Kucinich, 3-2.

Update (4/18): Jerome has more polls and more analysis.

In other non-shooting-rampage related news ...

-- Go see a movie tonight with filmmaker and Houston native Richard Linklater at the MFAH. He's picked Some Came Running, Vincente Minnelli's 1958 film starring Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and a very young Shirley MacLaine.

-- When the focus shifted from trying to catch drug traffickers to people crossing the border, then sure enough, drug prosecutions went down. Which of these is the real crime? (I realize you libertarians should answer 'neither'...)

-- My old state rep, the art censor, is building a large house in the district. A very large house.

-- Harris County's new judge, Ed Emmett, supports the completion of the Grand Parkway (bad) but sounds like he's opposed to both the TTC -- mostly he thinks it was bad PR -- and rail anywhere except on Richmond (both good, if true). He's not likely to do much about any of this until he faces the voters (and wins).

-- Republican state legislators are playing smoke-and-mirrors with the stem cell bill. Apparently they can only get things like this done when the Democrats aren't paying attention. South Texas Chisme has more on the story, and the Texas Freedom Network has a petition for you to show your support for stem cell research.