Broke Brownback quits

Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback is preparing today to abandon his bid for the GOP presidential nomination, after struggling financially and falling flat in a key test among Iowa Republicans.

Brownback was expected to announce his withdrawal Friday in Topeka, Kan., where he announced his long-shot bid in January. He spent part of today calling supporters to share his decision.

The Christian conservatives, lately in the news for their whining, bitching, pissing and moaning about Giuliani and the other front-walking candidates, just lost their best hope. Sen. Bareback was the most virulent homophobe of the whole lousy lot:

The 50-year-old, two-term senator was a favorite among social conservatives, who appreciated Brownback's firm stance against abortion and same-sex marriage. But even admirers gave him little chance against better known rivals, such as former New York City Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani and candidates with far more money, such as former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney.

But it was really all about the Benjamins:

Brownback's biggest problem, however, was a lack of money.

In the most recent campaign finance reports, released earlier this week, Brownback reported a mere $94,000 cash on hand, far less than any of his opponents. In all, he raised just less than $4 million, compared with $62 million for Romney and $47 million for Giuliani.

In a gamble, Brownback spent heavily to compete in an August Republican straw poll, hoping a strong showing would vault him into serious contention in the state that will vote first in 2008. But he finished a disappointing third behind Romney and Huckabee, and his campaign never recovered. A Des Moines Register Poll earlier this month showed Brownback with just 2% support; Romney led the survey with the backing of 29% of likely Republican caucus-goers.

Farewell, Senator Brokeback. Don't let the door hitcha where the Good Lord splitcha.

One Republican's sophistry on SCHIP

Behold the asshattery of Rep. Steve King (R-Douchesack, Iowa).

Everyone knows, of course, that Bush's SCHIP veto was sustained today by King, 150 other Republicans and two Democrats not to stop the nation's inexorable slide toward "socialized medicine" but because that money would pay for almost three whole months of military operations in Iraq.

And that's much more important than a bunch of poor sick kids.

Cleland v. Rove, 10/26

Let the following serve as a lesson to organizers of the current snoozers that somehow pass for presidential debates:

First, take a controversial learning institution. Say, Regents University in Virginia, founded by evangelical politician and broadcaster Pat Robertson.

Pick two pairs of debaters. Put former U.S. senator Max Cleland and retired Army general Barry McCaffery on one side. Set up ex-White House guru Karl Rove and former Florida governor Jeb Bush opposite them.

Toss in a question: “Should America bring democracy to the world?”

Then let the feathers fly, leaving the preservation of civilization to a single moderator, PBS journalist Charlie Rose.

This will happen on Oct. 26. Witnesses will be charged $40. Splatter sheets will be provided to occupants of the first three rows.

So far as we know, this will be the first time Rove and Cleland have met. Many supporters of Cleland believe that Rove — during Cleland’s unsuccessful re-election campaign — was behind the TV ad that paired the triple-amputeed, Vietnam veteran with an image of Osama bin Laden.

Rove was asked about it as he exited the White House last month. “We’ve got better things to do than write television ads in Senate campaigns in Georgia,” President Bush’s brain said.

So ... who will you be rooting for?