Sunday Not Very Funnies

Famous Moments in History, Reimagined by Centrists (4 of 4) Leave no political cartoonist behind.

The Friday Texas Fold 'em Wrangle

"I’ve always said in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you."
-- Ann Richards

Karl Rove, writing in the WSJ, made himself look prescient with the headline I borrowed.  He's also back to teaching his master class in projection.

From @WSJopinion: The drama in Texas over election reform isn’t really about Democrats fighting to ensure access to voting; it’s about them dividing Americans by race, through fear, for political advantage, writes @KarlRove https://t.co/d9TSBLQDpB

— The Wall Street Journal (@WSJ) August 20, 2021

You're excused for not wanting to read the whole thing, whether because the paywall stops you or your gag reflex does.  Still, for purposes of understanding the modern-day Goebbels in his favorite environment, you might give ol' Turd Blossom a click at his shop.

And yesterday, as if by magic, three Houston Democrats bent their knee (bad pun intended) and let the statehouse have its quorum.

Breaking: After a nearly six-week exodus over a GOP voting restrictions bill, enough Democrats returned to the Texas House today for lawmakers to resume work.

The House then immediately adjourned until Monday. #TXlege https://t.co/vcbptekQnc

— Texas Tribune (@TexasTribune) August 19, 2021

Here's my video of those three House Democrats who just got to the chamber. In a joint statement, Coleman, Walle and Hernandez say it's time to move past "partisan legislative calls" to address COVID-19 surge and help schools. @TXCapTonight #txlege pic.twitter.com/meTbyyHpwe

— Reena Diamante (@reenajade) August 19, 2021

There was considerable dissension in the Blue ranks.

State Rep. Donna Howard, D-Austin, says the three Houston Democrats who returned today did not let the caucus know ahead of time that they'd return today amid Democratic quorum-break. #txlege https://t.co/tmWsHTKbvw

— Taylor Goldenstein (@taygoldenstein) August 19, 2021

@ErinForYall we were literally on caucus calls for 2 hours this morning and none of the defecting Democrats mentioned they were planning on helping the Republicans pass voter suppression bills. Guess what the other defecting Democrats have accomplished by going back—NOTHING! https://t.co/OuXgKt0s3M

— Representative Ana-Maria Ramos (@Ramos4Texas) August 19, 2021

This is how Texas Democrats lose elections. #txlege https://t.co/8FllkZvlCh

— Michelle Beckley (@BeckleyforTX) August 19, 2021

What a bunch of chickenshit, ain't shit @texasdemocrats. Glad y'all had a nice field trip and got some cool pics with AOC or whatever.

....AND FOR WHAT?

A performative trip to D.C. and a non-climactic return like nothing ever happened? Bravo! #txlege https://t.co/G57Z4wjBT6

— Denise Flores (@TheDeniseFlores) August 20, 2021

And while there were questions as to whether a quorum was legitimately present ...

I count 98 green lights. Not enough for a quorum, even with two seats vacant. What's up with that, #txlege? https://t.co/OD96lgWhTe

— Dick Lavine (@dlavine) August 20, 2021

Couple of lawmakers had lights saying present that weren't on the floor. Canales, Lucio, Moody are some of the ones I saw #txlege https://t.co/8rZ5cOpkYn

— James Barragán 🌟 (@James_Barragan) August 19, 2021

The party arguing for “election integrity” just established quorum by voting members present who weren’t on the floor.

Make sense now? #txlege

— Diego Bernal (@DiegoBernalTX) August 19, 2021

... the shitshow must go on.

House is moving on the Senate bill.

Public hearing on SB 1 set for Saturday (again coupled with the bail bill) starting at 8 am. Testimony limited to 2 mins. https://t.co/kp3q8hWTBm #txlege https://t.co/rOzUyxu9yU

— Alexa Ura (@alexazura) August 20, 2021

Who wants to come yell about voting rights & bail reform on a Saturday?

Answer: everyone who can safely get their masked selves to the Capitol.

Don't let the disappointing democrats keep you from showing up and speaking out against this violent agenda. #txlege https://t.co/6hWSKiwBL9

— Katya (@EhresmanKatya) August 20, 2021

Though out of the office until Monday, Dan Patrick does not cotton (another lousy pun intended) to staying out of controversy.

Gov. Abbott blames the spread of COVID on undocumented immigrants from the southern border.

Lt. Gov. Patrick says it’s due to unvaccinated Black people.

You *still* think the voting bill is really about election integrity? #txlege https://t.co/gYyp5YuCbP

— Diego Bernal (@DiegoBernalTX) August 20, 2021

Rep. Bernal has really been spittin' the facts of late.

I could make this post longer with the SCOTX's latest, some Permian environmental bad news, and the usual Republican suspects saying stupid things (like Louie Gohmert's exploding birds, Ted Cruz's book sales, and John Cornyn's US troops in Taiwan), but I got a lot of shit to do, including prepare to visit my brother for what will quite possibly be the very last time.  So the rest will appear in the Tweet feed to the right ... or not at all.