Sunday Funnies

"If you define 'mass shootings' as four or more people getting shot at one time, we've had nearly 250 so far this year. We've only had 260 days! Our mass shooting average is 96 percent. Our mass shooting scores shouldn't be that much higher than our math and science scores. There have been more mass-shooting days than Jewish holidays---and there are a shitload of Jewish holidays."

-- Jon Stewart

Paula Deen was a big butterball of emotion today during her first public appearance since settling the racial discrimination lawsuit that destroyed her career ... and we've got the pics.

Paula appeared in Houston, Texas for the Metro Cooking and Entertainment Show to mark her return ... and got choked up after receiving a standing ovation when she hit the stage.

The 66-year old chef told the crowd she had been wanting her return to take place in Texas all along ... and was just shedding tears of joy.

Down-ballot Democratic prospects, updated

Kolten Parker at the HouChron, behind the paywall, makes the case I made a month ago that everything blue for 2014 hinges on that certain someone.  And also reminds us that even state Sen. Leticia Van De Putte's presumptive bid for lieutenant governor depends on what Wendy does.

But he also names a few new (to me) names as potential statewides.

State Sen. Carlos Uresti, D-San Antonio, said he is considering a run for attorney general.

"Politics is about timing," Uresti said. "And I certainly think it's the right time for the Democratic Party, and for myself as well."

Other candidates being courted by Democrats to make the leap are state Sen. Royce West, D-Dallas, who has more than $1 million in his campaign account, state Rep. Rafael Anchia, D-Dallas and state Sen. Kirk Watson, D-Austin. None returned calls for comment.

Uresti does not stand for re-election to the state senate until 2016.  But West and Watson -- like Davis herself -- are up in 2014, which is to say that they must relinquish thier seats to run for higher office.  The same, of course, for Rep. Anchia (because the House terms are two years).

I am still hoping Sen. Rodney Ellis will run for something -- perhaps against John Cornyn? -- as he does not have to run for re-election in 2014, has the ability to fund a campaign himself, and brings much-needed diversity to the ticket.

So add those names to the 'definitely maybe' category.  Besides the potential team of Davis and VDP at the top, Texas Democrats today have two declareds: Houston businessman Mike Collier running for state comptroller, and former El Paso mayor John Cook standing for GLO.

Anybody know anything else?  A juicy rumor, perhaps?

Update: Go read Socratic Gadfly's observations in the comments -- and an expanded version at his shop -- about West, and by extension, Ellis.  As Texpate reminds, Raffi Anchia stated in June that he was focusing on re-election to the House (and not a Dallas mayoral bid).  So the list of rumored candidate prospects is still barely enough to qualify as a decent rumor.