Palinpalooza: the gift that keeps on giving

--- "So Sambo beat the bitch!" Shocktisayshocked to discover she's Rick Santorum Dick Cheney David Duke in a skirt.

-- Do you think anyone will get to question her about this, or the now fast-tracked abuse of power investigation known as Troopergate, or her ties to the fringe Alaskan secessionist political party before the debates? Even FOX? Doesn't seem likely.

My suggestion for the first question regarding that last: "Nice flag lapel pin, Mrs. Palin, but why does it only have 49 stars on it? And which 'Country First' is it you advocate -- the United States or Alaska?"

The more information that trickles out about this woman, the more horrifying it is to consider her presence a heartbeat away. So in the absence of the McCain campaign's ability to shape her narrative beyond "Miss Mooseburger" -- this will prove to be a critical failure in the post-November 4th analysis, I believe -- the more the rest of us are forced to do so. Howard Fineman:

On the floor and in the hallways of the GOP convention, the sentiment was a combination of aggressive defensiveness about her -- from evangelicals and other cultural conservatives -- to a cautious wait-and-see hopefulness from delegates who found it hard to believe that McCain had chosen Palin with what appeared to be a hurried-up, last-minute vetting process last week.

It was as if the skeptics were saying: OK McCain, we didn't like you that much to begin with, so you had better be right about Sarah Palin. But for the time being, until we hear her speak, we will give you the benefit of the doubt.

Friends of former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney, speaking not for attribution, were caustic. "She is unqualified for the job and everyone knows it," said one.

Whether or not that is true, it's hard to imagine anyone who would be qualified for the raft of personal and political challenges Palin faces. Over the next months, and all at once, a list of the things she'll need to deal with:

• her continuing duties as governor of Alaska
• a legislature-funded investigation into questions of whether she has abused her office in a vendetta against her former brother-in-law, a probe that prompted her to hire a personal attorney
• the care of her fifth child, Trig, born this spring with Down syndrome -- a condition that requires close parental attention and care, especially in the first year of the child's life
• the pregnancy and pending marriage of her teenage daughter Bristol, who is planning to wed the father before Election Day
• learning the routines and rituals of the national campaign trail, which she will be required to traverse on her own plane, with her own staff
• getting a sense of the Lower 48 states, most of which she has never visited
• figuring out how to deal with McCain, whom she barely knows
• handling whatever national press interviews the McCain campaign allows her to do -- and she will have to do some to prepare herself for later events
• prep for the nationally televised vice-presidential debate with Sen. Joe Biden, a legislator with 36 years of seniority, who is personally acquainted with the rulers of nations Palin may never have even heard of

-- Then again, as long as the Corporate Media keep regurgitating the lies she tells, the better off the Republicans will be. Have to watch and see if the Gestapo tactics being used -- which they began implementing in Minnesota this past week -- bully the talking heads into cowering submission.

NSFW Update: Seriously though, how far from reality could this be? We're living Idiocracy. (H/T to that nasty bastard McBlogger for the "Something Awful".)

"My days are numbered"

Harris County Commissioner Jerry Eversole said Thursday that he expects to be forced from office by an FBI investigation into corruption allegations that appears to be centering on the design of his home by a prominent retired architect.

The Precinct 4 commissioner said FBI agents have interviewed many of his friends, some as recently as this week. He said he expects to be called in for questioning soon and would not be surprised to be indicted, though he insists he is innocent.

"I guarantee they can take that information that they've got and the friends that they've talked to and they can make a case on me," said Eversole, who volunteered the update regarding the investigation when asked about recommended ethics changes at the county. "That's why I say my days are numbered. There's no doubt about it."

As the feds close in on him, let's reminisce:

The Harris County District Attorney's office is investigating Eversole's use of campaign funds to pay for collector-quality firearms and a trip to Florida. George Flynn, the office's spokesman, said he could not comment on the probe beyond confirming it was still under way.

The commissioner's $680,000 house in the Heights was designed by Leroy Hermes, whose former firm has been involved with county projects such as the Reliant Stadium complex and a new jail facility. The Republican commissioner said he had the home built in 2003 so he and his wife, who has cancer, would be closer to the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center.

Eversole also was criticized for labeling hundreds of campaign expenses with vague descriptions such as "public relations" and "misc," offering little clue as to what was purchased or who benefited from those purchases. Among his "public relations" expenses was the $6,850 trip to Florida.

After acknowledging long-running problems with his campaign finance reports, the commissioner began explaining his expenses in greater detail this year. He also asked former County Judge Robert Eckels to review his current and past filings to ensure compliance with state disclosure laws.

Eversole's money management problems began early on in his 17-year career as county commissioner. Fourteen years ago, when his questionable expense reports first earned him attention and then legal scrutiny, a Democrat named Jim Lindeman running against him tried to link Republican Eversole to ... Ted Kennedy and former House speaker Tom Foley. That gives you an idea how red Precinct 4 was gerrymandered. First, the Chronic with the executive summary, from the previous link:

Eversole was indicted in 1993 on charges of perjury and unlawful record-keeping related to nearly $90,000 in campaign expenses.

And all the way from October of '94 and the Houston Press, with the details:

(D)espite a counseling session early in his term from the district attorney's office on Election Code rules regarding contributions and gifts, Eversole spent his lavishly endowed campaign account wildly on golf clothes, gifts and even several firearms. He justified the clothing purchases as items to be auctioned off. Asked to explain why the clothes all seemed to be in his own sizes, he allowed that by wearing them he made them more valuable items at the charity events. He regularly submitted monthly credit card tabs to be paid from the campaign account, and included billings for golf greens fees that were paid by others. The spending spree and questionable documentation earned him eight indictments for perjury and false campaign reporting.

Wayne Dolcefino at KTRK deserves most of the credit for digging up the recent dirt on Eversole, and now burying him with it ...

In the last year and a half, Eversole has spent nearly $15,000 just at golf courses and golf stores using campaign funds. On his sworn campaign finance report, he usually calls it simply 'public relations.' "I don't think he bought public relations at a golf shop," said campaign finance expert Fred Lewis.

Lewis has seen lots of campaign reports.

" When you start spending it on things like clothes, books, and Internet at your house, an exercise club, and meal after meal, you're starting to get where you're either on the line or over it," he said.

Jerry Eversole had no opponent last year and isn't up for reelection until 2010. Yet he's spent a whopping $750,000 in campaign money in just 18 months.

Most of it on golf, golf-related apparel and items, and even coffee. So he skated through the thin ice once early on, has never had a respectable challenger since, and now over a decade later has been discovered doing the same thing. Makes you wonder what happened during the years between investigations, doesn't it? More on this from the Harris County Republican Rap Sheet.

So long, Jerry. You had a good run. Sorry about your wife.