In Harris County, DA stands for Dumb Ass

A few samples from around the Tubes regarding the escapades of Harris County's district attorney, Chuck Rosenthal:

As district attorney of a county with a population of four million, more than that of several states, Mr. Rosenthal also presides over the country’s busiest capital punishment establishment, which has sent 100 convicted murderers to their deaths since 1976.

Following in the footsteps of former congressman Mark Foley, it seems like Harris County’s District Attorney, Chuck Rosenthal, forgot emails are forever. Especially those emails you send from your County-owned computer. What part of “open records” do you not understand?? What part of “fidelity” and “adultery” do you not understand?

Dumb, Chuck. Really. Dumb.

What makes us want to up chuck, Chuck, are the mash notes emailed to your former mistress and current Executive Assistant, Kerry Stevens, some of which were printed in today’s Houston Chronicle. ...

This statement from Rosenthal:

Recently some Harris County District Attorney inner (sic) office emails have been released in the media.

I understand that I have said some things that have caused pain and difficulty for my family, my coworkers and friends. I deeply regret having said those things. Moreover, I am sorry for the problems I have caused anyone.

I also understand that sometimes things happen for a purpose. This event has served as a wake-up call to me to get my house in order both literally and figuratively.

Romeo, you’d best take your pants to the tailors and get those faulty zippers replaced. Again.

One of our usually reliable sources in Houston said to watch for Chuck’s resignation announcement. While we agree wholeheartedly that he needs to resign because his actions reflect his lack of personal integrity which; therefore, reflects poorly upon the integrity of his DA’s office, we’ll wait and see. We’re five days away from the filing deadline.

Five days can be an awfully loooong time in Texas politics.

"nonewsisgoodnews", commenting on the story at the Chron:

Why is anyone surprised Rosenthal put his (former???) girlfriend on the public payroll at about double the going rate for her "official" duties? This is the same guy that went to the jail to interview a defendant by claiming he was a defense attorney. The same guy who invited an attorney to bring his client to his office for a "private" meeting, and then planted a "bug" in a clock so that he could listen in to private discussions between the attorney and his client.

His biggest claim to fame was that when the federal building in Oklahoma City was blown up, he celebrated by getting drunk at his desk, and then set off firecrackers in the District Attorney's building. He had a heck of a laugh as terrified prosecutors scrambled down the stairwells in fear of their lives.

But, he is immune to critics. He goes to all Republican party gatherings with a bracelet that says "WWJD"...What Would Jesus Do?" Among the Republican faithful, that bracelet means you are free to do what ever you want.

And finally the translated statement from Rosenthal, courtesy Bay Area John:

Recently some Harris County District Attorney inner office emails have been released in the media. It makes me look like a hypocrite which lately is not hard to do in the Republican party.

I understand that I have said some things that have caused pain and difficulty for my family, like writing an email that said I wanted to kiss my secretary behind her right ear when in fact her left ear is just as luscious. Or wanting to caress her firm supple breasteses. (Ok I didnt write that, but I did think it) I deeply regret having said those things although I had quite a woody when I did.

I also understand that sometimes things happen for a purpose. Maybe this will encourage my wife to leave my sorry ass, or for the Harris County Republican Party to denounce my adulterous behavior and demand my resignation. But I am not going to hold my breath since Jared Woodfill is a big wuss and won't do diddly squat. In fact maybe Jared should resign.

This event should serve as a wake-up call to the voters of Harris County concerning the lack of ethics, intelligence, and Christian family values of the Gross Old hyPocrite party.

Charles "The Horny and Incredibly Stupid" Rosenthal
Soon to be Former Harris County District Attorney

Terrified Huckabee demands immediate border wall construction

The only thing faster than Huck's rise in the polls has been his remarkable talent for shooting himself in the foot:

Mike Huckabee used the volatile situation in Pakistan Friday to make an argument for building a fence on the American border with Mexico and found himself trying to explain a series of remarks about Pakistanis and their nation.

On Thursday night he told reporters in Orlando, Fla.: “We ought to have an immediate, very clear monitoring of our borders and particularly to make sure if there’s any unusual activity of Pakistanis coming into the country.”

Yes, that's exactly what 'we' ought to do, Mike. Double-check the IDs and nationality of every single one of those "illegals" pouring over the border.

On Friday, in Pella, Iowa, he expanded on those remarks.

“When I say single them out I am making the observation that we have more Pakistani illegals coming across our border than all other nationalities except those immediately south of the border,” he told reporters in Pella. “And in light of what is happening in Pakistan it ought to give us pause as to why are so many illegals coming across these borders.”

Wrong again, Huckster:

In fact, far more illegal immigrants come from the Philippines, Korea, China and Vietnam, according to recent estimates from the Department of Homeland Security.

Asked how a border fence would help keep out Pakistani immigrants, Mr. Huckabee argued that airplane security was already strong, but that security at the southern United States border was dangerously weak.

“The fact is that the immigration issue is not so much about people coming to pick lettuce or make beds, it’s about someone coming with a shoulder-fired missile,” he said.

Obviously 'we' had better to go to Orange Alert.

This flip-flop on immigration (coincidentally coming in the wake of Tom Tancredo's withdrawal) surprises and disappoints a LULAC official who once worked with Huck:

Hispanic activists in Arkansas who viewed former Gov. Mike Huckabee as a voice of moderation on illegal immigration say they've been taken aback by the hard-line stance he's adopted.

While governor, Huckabee gained favor with Hispanic leaders by denouncing a high-profile federal immigration raid and suggesting some anti-illegal immigration measures were driven by racism. He advocated making children of illegal immigrants eligible for college scholarships.

Huckabee's Republican presidential rivals have tried to make an issue of the scholarship plan, portraying him as soft on illegal immigration. Huckabee responded this month by unveiling a plan to seal the Mexican border, hire more agents to patrol it and make illegal immigrants go home before they could apply to return to this country.

"He's trying to be tougher on immigration than we've ever seen him before," said Carlos Cervantes, the Arkansas director of the League of United Latin American Citizens. " ... I don't see that he's willing to work with us now."

And also underscores a number of Hucko's embarrassing gaffes (including this hilarious "eastern borders with Afghanistan" mistake):

The sudden emergency in Pakistan and Huckabee’s response come at a time when he has come under increasing scrutiny from opponents for his lack of fluency in foreign policy issues, and the situation in Pakistan appeared to have challenged him.

“We have seen what happens in the Musharraf government,” Huckabee said on MSNBC. “He has told us he does not have enough control of those eastern borders near Afghanistan to be able go after the terrorists. But on the other hand, did he not want us going in, so what do we do?” Those borders are actually on the west, not the east.

Further, he offered an Orlando crowd his “apologies for what has happened in Pakistan.” His aides said later that he meant to say “sympathies.” He also said he was worried about martial law “continuing” in Pakistan, although Musharraf lifted the state of emergency on Dec. 15. His campaign told CBS News that his statement was not a blunder.

Stace awards Huck the Tancrazy. I heartily concur.

Update (12/29): Lone Star Times, my favorite right-wing blog -- seriously -- has more on Huck's foibles that include John Bolton and Condi Rice having to straighten him out.