Who's next at Justice?

Chertoff? Ted Olson? Some lesser conservative star?

I say it could be Orrin Hatch, for these reasons:

1. He can continue to provide cover for the Bushies as the investigations move forward, maintaining that year-and-a-half-head start the criminals still need. Hatch is a loyalist and Bush won't name anything but.

2. A tenure as AG, even a caretaker one, could be considered a capstone to his lengthy career in public service.

3. He can rest easy knowing another ultra-conservative will replace him in the Senate, by appointment and/or special election. Hatch is too old to give a damn about sticking around, hoping for a GOP majority comeback now quite unlikely in his remaining lifetime (and hopefully, for that matter, his children's).

4. No chance of him achieving his greatest ambition -- getting to the Supreme Court -- with a Democratic presidency coming in 2008.

5. A Hatch appointment avoids a bruising confirmation battle; something Bush has never shied from before, but may no longer have the stomach to fight. A Chertoff confirmation is guaranteed to keep stirring the turd, to say nothing of whomever might be named to replace him at DHS.

He has a "wide stance" when he goes to the toilet

That's why his foot slid all the way into the next bathroom stall, touching the foot of a plainclothes officer at the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport.

That is seriously what Senator Larry Craig of Idaho is claiming.

Sen. Craig, a conservative Republican from a very conservative state and one of Mitt Romney's most prominent supporters, was arrested for lewd conduct in June as a result of this incident. He pleaded guilty to the charge on August 8 but the report was made public only today. Craig now regrets the guilty plea, thus the "wide stance" defense. He previously claimed that his outing as a homosexual had "no basis in fact".

And so another Black Monday for Republicans comes to a close. (I don't know about Mike Vick's politics, but Phil Garner's were never in doubt.)

Update (8/28): The Pink Lady channels me, for once.