Edouard "inches", "creeps", "plods", "slogs"...

... even "ambles". In some places along the Texas Gulf coast (probably Jefferson County) he is "pounding" and "hitting".

Some are live-blogging -- zzz -- some are Twittering (this is a sample from yesterday's rehearsal, creativity courtesy Julie P at MOMocrats):

8 AM AM
Woke to screaming wind

8:01 AM
Never mind, it was kids, not wind

8:02 AM
Kids were screaming because they heard the wind

8:05 AM
Gave kids prebought premade preservative and sugar laden scones from store.
& bottled water. B/c we dump health and eco @ first sign of mother nature

8:07 AM
Breakfast didn't last long

8:12 AM
Sugar hit, storm too. Kids and winds are engaged in howling competition

8:14 AM
Will keep you up to date until power goes ou...

10:28 AM
Power's back

11:04 AM
Fish are in the yard, and power's flick...

6:22 PM
Everyone's heading to the beer garden in Clear Lake Shores to swap downed
tree stories!

Obviously it never got this bad. Like the batteries and the MREs, we can always save it for the next one. One last thing, from Congressman John Culberson's e-mail newsletter yesterday (bold emphasis his):

Dear Friends,

Tropical Storm Edouard appears headed our way; and some predictions suggest we could start feeling the effects of the storm sometime after midnight tonight.

After the destruction of Tropical Storm Allison in 2001, Houstonians know that no tropical storm should be taken lightly. While the winds may not be as strong, the rain can be even more devastating.

Here are some tips I follow to keep my family and home safe during hurricane season:

...

Lie on the floor under a table or another sturdy object.

My batshit conservative Congressman, lying under a table in his house, Twittering.

I can easily picture that.