Sunday Funnies

The incomparable Silly Rabbit, with the weekly Talking Heads roundup.

Call me crazy, but...

I don't think it's just a coincidence that: the ⁹11th anniversary of the Iraq War; the fourth anniversary of Obamacare; Twitter's eighth birthday; Republicans' first re-birthday; the start of the NCAA basketball tournament; the end of Fred Phelps; and, the Vernal Equinox, all occurred this week.

If I was a religious person, I'd be building an ark right about now.

Disclosure: I am not a marine biologist, and I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night; I don't claim to know exactly who and/or what is behind this neo-confluence of events, or what it all means.

That being said, it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

My sixth sense is telling me that Barack Obama's explosion onto the scene at the 2004 Democratic National Convention caused a ripple in the space-time continuum, and sent shockwaves through our young Earth.

Everything you need to know

-- The reason CNN can't talk about anything else but the missing Malaysian plane is because it's paying off for them.

The news that wreckage from the missing Malaysia Airlines jet may have been spotted in the southern Indian Ocean was enough to create a surge in news viewing late Wednesday night and, for the moment anyway, stave off potential flagging interest in the two-week-old story.

CNN continued to show enormous audience increases, though as of Wednesday it was no longer topping the perennial leader, Fox News, anywhere in prime time. Fox News had always won in terms of total viewers, but CNN had been doubling its usual audience among the group favored by news advertisers, viewers between the ages of 25 and 54, and topping Fox News in some isolated hours.

CNN still posted greatly increased numbers with that group Wednesday night, but Fox maintained a lead in every hour from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. (It won the ratings for the total day, as well.) CNN’s 10 p.m. hour, which had been doing especially well with the format of asking aviation experts questions texted in by viewers, faded somewhat, dropping behind Sean Hannity’s show on Fox by the biggest margin of the night in the 25-to-54 group, 291,000 viewers to 410,000 viewers.

Perhaps the audience lost some interest when the CNN anchor Don Lemon asked one expert if it was really preposterous, after all, to ask if Flight 370, which vanished on March 8, may have been swallowed by a black hole. The plane, which carried a total of 239 passengers and crew members, took off from Kuala Lumpur in the early hours of March 8, bound for Beijing, and disappeared from ground controllers’ screens 40 minutes later.

I'm weeping for the future.  How about you?

-- Ted Cruz runs a new scam on the conservo-rubes.

“It is time to Draft Ted Cruz for president,” says RedState diarist “razshafer,” and to that end, Raz has established RunTedRun.com, and an affiliated Draft Ted Cruz for President PAC. Raz is, Dave Weigel explains, Ted Cruz’s (now former) regional director Raz Shafer, and not just some person using Cruz’s name to convince conservatives to send along their lucrative email addresses.

Here is part of Shafer’s pitch:

I know there are other candidates who may run as conservatives, but I believe Ted Cruz has demonstrated that he’s the only consistent conservative who will do what it takes to roll back Barack Obama’s agenda. He’s the only one who has the passion, principles, and courage needed to deliver real results for Americans.

I’ve never spoken to Ted about him running for president and I honestly don’t know if he will do it, but I do know he won’t succeed unless freedom-loving Americans like you and me begin organizing this effort now.

Ted Cruz is the people’s candidate and we need to be the ones driving the effort to elect him.
So if you’re ready to be proud of your vote again and you agree that Ted Cruz should run for president, please do three things:

1. Go to RunTedRun.com and sign the official Draft Ted Cruz for President petition.
2. Urge your friends and family to join you.
3. Donate whatever you can to help us spread the word and build support.

My advice, even if you do support Ted Cruz and think he should run for president, is don’t do any of this. It is a waste of your time and you will be exploited. Your name and contact information will be sold. You will have no effect whatsoever on Cruz’s decision to run for president or not. Your monetary donation will have no effect whatsoever on Ted Cruz’s potential 2016 electoral chances.

They'll do it anyway.  Conservatives are sheep for the fleecing.  It would be so cool if the GOP nominated Ted in 2016, wouldn't it?

-- America needs welders.  Houston especially needs technical labor.

-- Obama warns Democrats again that midterm elections are historically bad.

"But in midterms we get clobbered -- either because we don’t think it’s important or we’ve become so discouraged about what’s happening in Washington that we think it’s not worth our while," he said, according to the transcript.

Low Democratic turnout during non-presidential elections is one reason the deck is stacked against the party going into Nov. 4. Obama has repeatedly urged Democrats to focus on state-level races this year even though they're less "sexy" than national contests, and has reportedly offered to stay out of races where his appearance with a vulnerable candidate could do damage.

I talked to some people exactly like this in calling my precinct earlier this month.  In particular, a middle-aged white woman with a Democratic voting history who said she was "taking a pass" this year.  Quote unquote.

No, I didn't ask her why.  You can't fix stupid, and there are plenty more people to help.  "Next," as God might say (if there was a God).

Why did the 500-lb. chicken cross the road?

A. It could do whatever it wanted, because it was also eleven feet long and had five inch claws on its hands.  And please don't disturb it with your silly questions.

-- John Coby found Greg Abbott exposing himself on television.  Ew.

-- Boehner rejects 'bipartisan breakthrough' on jobless aid:

After months of effort, a group of senators from both parties announced last week they’d reached a deal on extending unemployment benefits. Sen. Jack Reed (D-R.I.), one of the lead negotiators, called it a “bipartisan breakthrough.”

And by most measures, it was. The agreement would extend jobless aid to nearly 2 million Americans, without increasing the deficit. It’s a popular, election-year measure, backed by a Senate supermajority, and the compromise is poised to pass the chamber next week.

That House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) announced yesterday, however, that the Senate shouldn’t bother – House Republicans won’t even consider the “bipartisan breakthrough.”

“We have always said that we’re willing to look at extending emergency unemployment benefits again, if Washington Democrats can come up with a plan that is fiscally-responsible, and gets to the root of the problem by helping to create more private-sector jobs. There is no evidence that the bill being rammed through the Senate by Leader Reid meets that test,” Boehner said in a statement Wednesday.

That the Republican leader doesn’t want to extend unemployment benefits is predictable. But what mattered yesterday was the weakness of his excuse.

I got nothing.

-- This is going to be a little rough on you Christians out there.



Sometimes the truth is brutal.  And harsh.

-- Twenty-five years ago, the Exxon Valdez ran aground in Prince William Sound off the coast of Alaska. Even though I worked in their Beaumont refinery in the summer of 1980 before my final senior semester, I never bought any of their gas after that environmental apocalypse.  The permanent loss of my business hasn't slowed 'em down too much, though.

-- And speaking of protests...

A federal judge has ordered the FBI to explain why it withheld some information requested by a graduate student for his research on a plot to assassinate Occupy Houston protest leaders.

Ryan Noah Shapiro, a doctoral student at Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, Mass., filed a lawsuit April 29, 2013, against the U.S. Department of Justice in the U.S. District Court in Washington, D.C.

U.S. District Judge Rosemary M. Collyer issued her order, with an accompanying memo, on March 12.

The FBI, as part of the Department of Justice, controls the records Shapiro wanted for his study of "conflicts at the nexus of American national security, law enforcement and political dissent," the plaintiff's complaint stated.

Houston was among hundreds of U.S. cities where protesters occupied outdoor spaces as part of the Occupy Movement that started in New York's Zucotti Park on Sept. 17, 2011.

"The movement has sought to expose how the wealthiest 1 percent of society promulgates an unfair global economy that harms people and destroys communities worldwide," the complaint stated.

Kind of a big deal, if we can ever learn the truth about that.  Oh, and don't miss reading some of the comments to discover what our local conservatives really think about Occupy.  It's far too late for them to keep it classy; that oil tanker has sailed.

"All bets are off"

Harvey Kronberg, in his weekly Austin teevee appearance.

“We are seeing something none of us has anticipated, and that is the Abbott campaign is on the defensive. First, they had the Ted Nugent experiment... which was supposed to be about the Second Amendment and ended up being about child predators. The second event was the Lily Ledbetter Act, which is about equal pay. They want to talk about process. But the message that is breaking through now anyway is about equal pay for women. If you have a series of additional issues like that that seem to put the Republicans on the wrong side of women, then all bets are off as to how this election will actually turn out.”

Republican women pinch-hitting for Abbott that are saying women are too busy to be concerned about their pay inequality -- or need to be better negotiators -- is just digging his hole deeper.

Abbott has always been a lousy lawyer and an even worse human being, but now it appears his vaunted political instincts are failing him.  The ladies doing the talking for him this week must have been trained by Todd Akin, or maybe Ralph Reed.  I am amazed that Abbott is making these kinds of mistakes because he's never, ever made them in his political career before.  Like Noah and Charles, I didn't believe that Emerson College poll had enough of a track record to be legitimate, but if another one that does reports a similar tightening of the race, there will be a massive surge in momentum to Davis.  Her press shop is now firing on all twelve cylinders, and that -- as much as Abbott's stumbling (is that insensitive to a man in a wheelchair?) -- has moved her campaign forward in the past week.

Abbott's failings in policy and tactics have been clear to those of us who follow these things closely for some time, and now they're getting more attention, such that the low-interest, low-data, low-participation voters might begin to take notice.  None of this addresses the Democrats' historical turnout problem, but Battleground Texas keeps grinding away on that also.

Now if Senate and Congressional Democrats will just stop running away from Obamacare, November prospects might really brighten up.  Here's their clue on how to turn a negative into a positive, courtesy Dave Weigel.  Nancy Pelosi, in Houston yesterday, reiterated the message: run on Obamacare, and run hard on expanding it (and Medicaid).

Texas Democrats report to their Senate district conventions this weekend, and with stinky options like David Alameel and Kinky Friedman as least worst choices looming in the May runoff, Wendy Davis and Leticia Van de Putte are going to have to do the heavy lifting for the fall slate.  It's a good thing they both have years of experience in doing dirty jobs left to them by the men.

Income inequality, debates for the 1%, and abortion clinic bombers

-- Paying women the same as men is hard work, to paraphrase a previous Texas governor (who fell upward).  And the national media is all over it.  Charles beat me to this, but it's worth repeating.

On equal pay, Texas GOP PAC sends a "busy" signal

Houston Chronicle / Siobhan O'Grady

Just one week after Greg Abbott, Texas' attorney general and the GOP's nominee for the state's gubernatorial race, skirted around a question on equal pay, the executive director of the Lone Star State's newest Republican PAC stumbled through her response to a similar question in a television interview on Sunday.

Red State Women Director: Texas Women Too 'Busy' For Equal Pay Law

Talking Points Memo / Catherine Thompson

Cari Cristman, the executive director of Red State Women PAC, was asked in an interview with Dallas TV station WFAA about Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott's (R) position on equal pay laws. Abbott, who is running for governor against state Sen. Wendy Davis (D), previously told the news station that existing law was sufficient to protect women's pay.

Are Ladies Just Too Busy for the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act?

Jezebel / Kelly Faircloth

Salon reports (see next) that this fascinating line of argument comes via Cari Christman, who heads Texas's Red State Women PAC. Local ABC affiliate WFAA asked whether her organization believes Texas needs an equal pay act. This has become an issue in the state gubernatorial race, as Wendy Davis faces off against former attorney general Greg Abbott. In his last gig, he convinced the Texas Supreme Court that the Lily Ledbetter Act-which gives women longer to file gender discrimination claims after leaving a job-didn't alter Texas's statue of limitations.

Head of GOP PAC targeting women: GOP doesn't support equal pay laws because "women are busy"

Salon / Katie McDonough

As Laura Bassett at the Huffington Post points out (see below), Texas gubernatorial candidate Wendy Davis has been making Republican opponent Greg Abbott's record on equal pay a focus of her campaign. As attorney general, Abbott successfully argued before the Texas Supreme Court in a lawsuit brought by a female professor that the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which extended the statute of limitations in such cases, didn't change Texas' state statute of limitations.

Awkward: GOP women's PAC leader says women too "busy" to need equal pay laws

Raw Story / David Edwards

During a Sunday interview with WFAA's Inside Texas Politics, host Jason Whitely told RedState Women Executive Editor Cari Christman that Democrats had accused Republicans of "hitting the panic button" and launching the PAC in the final months before the 2014 elections after gubernatorial candidate Greg Abbott was criticized for campaigning with Ted Nugent. Whitely also pointed out that Abbott had recently said that Texas did not need new laws to protect women against pay discrimination.

Red State Women leader says Texas doesn't need equal pay law

Dallas Morning News / Christy Hoppe

Last week, on the same show, GOP nominee Greg Abbott declined to answer whether he also would have vetoed the equal pay act, called the Lilly Ledbetter Act, named after the federal version of the law. Three years ago, Abbott's office successfully argued before the Texas Supreme Court that federal equal pay protections do not apply in Texas. The 2012 decision determined that a female college professor did not have the right to sue because she discovered the alleged discriminatory pay more than 180 days after she was hired. The Lilly Ledbetter Act provides that a suit can be filed within 180 days of a woman discovering the pay discrepancy.

Head Of GOP Women's PAC Flubs Equal Pay Question

Huffington Post / Laura Bassett

Democratic candidate Wendy Davis has been going after Abbott on equal pay in recent weeks. In addition to dodging the question of whether he supports equal pay, the Davis camp points out, he actively fought against it during his career as Texas Attorney General. Abbott successfully argued before the Texas Supreme Court in Prairie View A&M University vs. Chatha that federal equal pay protections did not apply in Texas, so a female college professor who was paid unfairly did not have the right to sue more than 180 days after the discrimination began.

To quote a really smart woman: "If you have a vagina, and you vote Republican, you are a moron."  I would add: "If you have a vagina, and you don't plan on voting in 2014, then that's the same thing as voting Republican."

-- And just so everyone understands precisely who the Republicans on the ballot answer to, witness the development of a proposed debate between Dan Patrick and David Dewhurst over the weekend, to be held at the 'C' Club in River Oaks.  Except now it's not.  Follow Quorum Report's bulletins, beginning late Friday afternoon...

A LITE GUV DEBATE BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

Dewhurst and Patrick to make their case to some of Houston's business elite

"It's a sign of what kind of government we have," said one observer after hearing the news Friday afternoon that Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst and Sen. Dan Patrick will debate behind closed doors in a room with some of Houston's business elite. 

The debate, first reported by the Houston Chronicle, will be held at the River Oaks Country Club and is being hosted by the C Club of Houston. No press will be allowed.  

Then on Monday morning...

A PUSH ALLOW THE MEDIA TO ATTEND TUESDAY'S CLOSED-DOOR LITE GUV DEBATE 

Patrick tries to pressure business group; Dewhurst says he wouldn't mind if C Club debate is open to the press

Sen. Dan Patrick on Monday asked that the business-friendly C Club of Houston allow the media to attend tomorrow's planned Lite Guv debate at River Oaks Country Club. More than a few eyebrows were raised on Friday when it came out that Lt. Gov David Dewhurst and Patrick have agreed to debate behind closed doors in front of some of Houston's business elite. 

Then, after 5 yesterday... 

PATRICK TAKES A PASS ON CLOSED-DOOR DEBATE IN RIVER OAKS, DEWHURST WILL STILL SPEAK TO C CLUB 
Patrick had asked for forum to be open to the press; Dewhurst will speak to them regardless of Patrick's decision

A spokesman for David Dewhurst indicated the incumbent will appear before the business group, despite Patrik's decision to pull out. "Yes. Lt. Governor Dewhurst appreciates any opportunity to speak to groups of Texans and looks forward to debates and forums that are open to the press in the near future," spokesman Travis Considine said. 

In case you didn't buy a program, challenger Patrick is the Buc-ees populist standing up for the TeaBaggers little guy, and wounded, bleeding incumbent Dewhurst is the elitist grubbing for five- and six-figure checks.  This is the most perfect representation of what the Republicans have devolved to than anything you will ever see.

Wayne Slater at the DMN in his Friday story linked to the 'C' Club's site listing their members, but now the club has pulled it down... which is why I took a screenshot.

Yes indeed, we already knew that was how Republicans roll.

-- Last, the abortion clinic bombers are making a comeback.  I wonder if these terrorists will be prosecuted this time.  Eric Holder, I'm not looking at Greg Abbott.

The Weekly Wrangle

The Texas Progressive Alliance is filling out their brackets as they present the best of the Lone Star State's lefty blogs from last week.  And a big "Howdy" and welcome to our newest member, Egberto Willies, who leads off this week's Wrangle.

Every opponent of the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) should watch the Daily Show’s Aasif Mandvi and his interview of Fox business commentator Todd Wilemon posted at EgbertoWillies.com.

Off the Kuff analyzes the primary performances of Wendy Davis and Bill White.

Horwitz at Texpatriate presents a novel idea to start getting students voting.

WCNews at Eye on Williamson once again points out Texas' unfair tax system, in No one is offering an alternative to the raw deal Texas taxpayers are getting.

Libby Shaw at Texas Kaos reminds Greg Abbott that no means NO: Greg Abbott tries to spin no into yes.

A Fort Bend Republican wrote an article for Houston Style magazine about "Democrat" Kesha Rogers. You can imagine how ridiculous that was. Well, no you can't, because it's even worse than you can imagine. PDiddie at Brains and Eggs called BS on it about five times. But nobody involved bothered to correct the record.

Neil at All People Have Value said we should self-edit our lives in the same way that time has edited the works of the Ancient Greek poet Sappho.  All People Have Value is part of NeilAquino.com.

=================

And here's more from other great Texas blogs.

The Denton fracking ban initiative has exceeded the number of signatures necessary to put the measure on the ballot in November, reports TXSharon at Bluedaze.

Dan Patrick is bad for Texas, but would be particularly bad for Texas education, as Socratic Gadfly observes in sampling and expanding on an op-ed in the Waco Herald-Tribune.

Prairie Weather sounds the alarm for Democrats (in Texas and across the country) as voter turnout levels for the primary are abysmal, and Senate Dems on the ballot this year start running away from the president, his policies, and his appointees.

Stace at Dos Centavos seems a little irritated about President Obama's review of the federal deportation policy.  Not as irritated as he is at the GOP's standing position, however.

Burnt Orange covered Wendy Davis' East Texas tour.

The Inanity of Sanity notes that it's going to be a long hot summer for ALEC here in Deep-In-The-Hearta.

Cody Pogue calls the state's new abortion restrictions what they are: a threat to women's health.

Michael Li at Texas Redistricting charts our civic engagement crisis.  And the Texas Observer's Christopher Hooks amplifies that -- linking to another of Li's posts -- in describing the not-so-democratic party primary system (that both Texas Republicans and Democrats practice).

Texas Watch wants private insurers to pay their fair share before any rate hikes are considered.

Juanita Jean at the World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon predicts Tom DeLay's next career move.

Keep Austin Wonky advocates for using Austin's budget surplus on universal pre-K.

Grits for Breakfast laments the "dystopic no-man's land" created by the RGV border fence.

John Coby at Bay Area Houston recaps the frustrating process of choosing the best electricity provider, and got some ink in the Pearland Journal with an op-ed about the man-made disaster that is the Texas Windstorm Insurance Association.

Lastly, In The Pink explains what the movie "Frozen" is really about.

Sunday Funnies