Sunday Funnies, 'War is Hell' edition

Greens likely to remain ballot-qualified in Texas after 2012

Ballot Access News (bold emphasis is mine):

Texas parties remain ballot-qualified in presidential election years if they poll at least 5% for any partisan statewide race. This year in Texas, the following statewide offices are up: President, U.S. Senate, Railroad Commission full term, Railroad Commission short term, Justice of the Supreme Court seat 2, Justice of the Supreme Court seat 4, Justice of the Supreme Court seat 6, Presiding Judge of the Court of Criminal Appeals, Judge of the Court of Criminal Appeals seat 7, Judge of the Court of Criminal Appeals seat 8. That is ten offices.

No Democrat filed to run for five of those offices. Whenever there is a partisan election in which only one of the two major parties runs anyone, any minor party nominee on the ballot in that election typically polls at least 5%. Because the Libertarians and Greens do have candidates in some of the statewide offices with no Democrat running, it is quite likely that each of those parties will meet the vote test in 2012.

[...]

Posts for which the Green Party has a candidate, but the Democratic Party does not, are Railroad Commission short term, and Justice of the Supreme Court seat 4. Libertarians have a candidate in all the statewide races.

Let's repeat that for emphasis: no Democrat filed to run against Supreme Court Justice (and once-alleged arsonist) David Medina, the weakest possible candidate on the ballot. Really, how stupid is that? Even the Libertarians manage to have a candidate file for every single office.

And after fielding the most qualified Railroad Commission candidate by far in 2010, only Dale Henry -- who ran in 2008 -- filed for TRC in '12, and he chose to run against a well-funded Rick Perry crony instead of an open seat.

Democrats really don't need to be wondering why they can't win a statewide office when they're not even seriously trying to. And they don't need to be blaming anybody but themselves for that.

Update: Neil has more.

Republican Douchebags of the Week

Too many to limit it just to the Great State.

-- Rick Santorum instructs Puerto Rico to speak English in order to become a state. There is no federal law requiring this. Though 30 states have passed laws declaring such. Including Mississippi and Kansas, but not Texas.

-- Speaking of Mississippi, Kansas, and Puerto Ricans: at the NCAA tournament yesterday, the Southern Miss band chanted "where's your green card" at a Kansas State Puerto Rican player during their first-round game. Puerto Ricans are born US citizens just like the folks in Mississippi. Though if we had to pick between the two, that would be easy and fast. (Two words: J-Lo's booty.)

-- Let me simply say once again that I despise Greg Abbott with the heat of a thousand suns and leave it at that.

-- Arizona's own version of the Blunt Amendment declares that birth control is not a good enough reason for women to be taking contraceptives.

Women in Arizona trying to get reimbursed for birth control drugs through their employer-provided health plan could be required to prove that they are taking it for a medical reason such as acne, rather than to prevent pregnancy.

A bill nearing passage in the Republican-led Legislature allows all employers, not just religious institutions, to opt out of providing contraceptive coverage when doing so would violate their religious or moral beliefs.

Keep on digging that hole, GOP.

-- Not content to condemn only women for what he perceives as their sexual depravity, Rick Santorum declares War on Pornography.

"America is suffering a pandemic of harm from pornography," Santorum's official website reads. "Pornography is toxic to marriages and relationships. It contributes to misogyny and violence against women. It is a contributing factor to prostitution and sex trafficking."

The former Pennsylvania senator states that, "as a parent, I am concerned about the widespread distribution of illegal obscene pornography and its profound effects on our culture."

Santorum criticized the Obama administration for turning "a blind eye ... to the scourge of pornography" and for refusing to enforce obscenity laws.

"If elected President, I will appoint an Attorney General who will do so," Santorum writes. "While the Obama Department of Justice seems to favor pornographers over children and families, that will change under a Santorum Administration."

There goes the middle-aged Republican angry white male vote. What's left for him to lose? Not Texas. He's surging here.

My gay friends have to be right: there is a freak inside this guy just crying to be let out.

Texas Greens post 56 candidates for state and local offices

Update: This list is official and up to date, with a few candidates having withdrawn their names from the ballot.

20 candidates in Bexar, 16 in Harris, 20 more across Texas, from Justice of the Peace and Constable to President of the United States. Here's the full list (.pdf) from the Green Party of Texas website. Following I'll list the statewide candidates and those running for Congress in Harris County, as well as state representatives and county offices. I expect to individually profile each of these leading up to November. Hyperlinks associated with specific candidates provide additional information. The Harris County Green Party site details the timing of county and senate district conventions, where elections for contested offices will occur.

US Senate (no incumbent): David B. Collins and Victoria Ann Zabaras, both of Houston

US Representative, District 2 (Ted Poe, incumbent): Mark A. Roberts
District 7 (John Culberson, incumbent): Lance Findley
District 9 (Al Green, incumbent): Vanessa Foster
District 22 (Pete Olson, incumbent): Don Cook
District 29 (Gene Green, incumbent): Maria Selva

Texas Supreme Court, Place 4 (David Medina, incumbent): Charles E. Waterbury
Place 6: (Nathan Hecht, incumbent): Jim Chisholm

Texas Railroad Commission, Place 1 (no incumbent): Chris Kennedy
Place 2 (Barry Smitherman, incumbent): Josh Wendel

Texas Senate, District 17 (Joan Huffman, incumbent): David Courtney
District 26 (Leticia Van de Putte, incumbent): Chris Christal

Texas State Board of Education, District 5 (Ken Mercer, incumbent): Irene Meyer Scharf
District 6 (Terri Leo, incumbent): G C Molison

Texas House of Representatives, District 130 (Allen Fletcher, incumbent): Art Browning
District 131 (Alma Allen, incumbent): Alfred Molison, Jr.
District 147 (Garnet Coleman, incumbent): Deb Shafto
District 148 (Jessica Farrar, incumbent): Henry Cooper

Harris County Sheriff (Adrian Garcia, incumbent): Remington Alessi
Harris County Constable, Precinct 1 ( incumbent): Carlos Villalobos

Photo ID remains Republicans' Holy Grail

You have likely heard the good news.

(T)he Department of Justice told Texas that its new law to make voting harder cannot stand. The bulk of it is that by requiring voters to show photo ID they never had to show before, Texas could disenfranchise between 603,892 to 795,955 people, a disproportionate number of them Hispanic.

As you know, or can imagine, this has again enraged the conservative hive mind that believes golden chalices and unicorns not only exist but are widespread and rampant across the country. CNN, with the liberally biased facts:

"We note that the state's submission did not include evidence of significant in-person voter impersonation not already addressed by the state's existing laws," said Thomas Perez, assistant attorney general.

Wayne Slater:

Several years ago, Abbott announced there was an "epidemic" of voter fraud in Texas and he launched an investigation. But his investigation and subsequent prosecutions failed to confirm any such epidemic. Abbott found 26 cases to prosecute -- all against Democrats, all but one against blacks or Hispanics. Of those, two-thirds were technical violations in which voters were eligible, votes were properly cast and no vote was changed. None of the cases would have been affected by the voter ID requirement.

Waist deep in the Big Muddy and the damn fool says 'press on'.

Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott, who expected the federal government's rejection, said late last week he plans to forge ahead with the lawsuit he filed last month to have the bill implemented immediately. The Justice Department has until April 9 to respond to the lawsuit.

This will undoubtedly be on the agenda at the next national convention of Vote-Suppressing Thugs -- err, True the Vote Douchebags, to be held next month in Houston.

I'd like to say I'm looking forward to attending, but really I'm not.

The Weekly Wrangle

The Texas Progressive Alliance is busy building unbustible brackets as it brings you this week's roundup.

Is there finally about to be an uprising against the legislative hostility towards women we've seen so much of lately? Off the Kuff sure hopes so.

BossKitty at TruthHugger discovered with minimal effort that any group using the words God, Christian, or Jesus has a free ride with the right wing media. Why is accountability off the table if you use those specific words? Rush Limbaugh, blinded by hatred for anything Obama, leaped before he looked at the facts ... and casually acted surprised when the truth was revealed, in Limbaugh Endorsed Christian Cannibals.

BlueBloggin was thrilled that the recent solar activity was only a light show. But because scientists warn that 2012 will experience more frequent solar events, why are the 2012 candidates ignoring this science? Updated: What is a CME and Why Should Presidential Candidates Care.

The Republicans opened a new front in the culture wars in Houston last week, when Pastor Steve Riggle of Grace Community Church suddenly opened fire on Mayor Annise Parker's right to have an opinion on gay marriage. PDiddie of Brains and Eggs has a dispatch from the front line.

For too long we've been told by our elected leaders that our government will be better if we sell it to the highest bidder. WCNews at Eye On Williamson reminds us that only the people can make it stop: Outsourcing at A&M, a microcosm.

Neil at Texas Liberal wrote about the Texas forced sonogram law, and about how this law is state-mandated rape. The facts are going to prevail on this issue. People in Texas, across the nation, and across the world are going to see that Texas has passed a law mandating the rape of some its citizens.

CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme notes that the Nueces County Republicans are just as dirty as the Republicans in the legislature with regard to their redistricting methods.

At TexasKaos, Libby Shaw gets up to date with the war on women and on voters in Texas GOP Policies Flog Poor Women, Health Care and Voter's Rights.

At the Lewisville Texan Journal, Ken Judkins points out that Mitt Romney may have won Super Tuesday but he failed a leadership test.

Bay Area Houston wonders about Judge Sharon "Killer" Keller's $100,000 ethics fine.

Sunday Funnies