Sunday Funnies (ideology recall edition)

(Click for a larger view. Last panel dedicated to my friend Kris.)

Ben and Jerry's flavor suggestions for 43

You may recall that Vermont ice cream czars Ben (Cohen) and Jerry (Greenfield) introduced a brand following the election of Barack Obama called "Yes Pecan!". With another confectionary hit on their hands, they decided to solicit suggestions for an ice cream flavor that would commemorate the Bush administration. Herewith, a listing of the finalists:

- Grape Depression
- Abu Grape
- Cluster Fudge
- Nut'n Accomplished
- Iraqi Road
- Chock 'n Awe
- WireTapioca
- Impeach Mint
- Heck of a Job, Brownie!
- Chunky Monkey in Chief
- George Bush Doesn't Care About Dark Chocolate
- WMDelicious

That loathsome toon from the NY Post, and more postpourri

-- Sean Delonas, the cartoonist from the New York Post who drew the cartoon that sparked so much outrage, has a long pattern of over-the-top offensiveness more suitable to Hustler Magazine ... or maybe the Washington Moonie Times.

-- TIME has a 25 Best Blogs Index, along with some overrated ones. This blog didn't make either list, so I'm not pimping anything here.

-- Cornyn: No investigations of the Bush administration crimes can be undertaken at this time because of the economic crisis.

-- Now it makes sense: the GOP hates unions because they improve the economy.

-- Sharon "Killer" Keller: a Texas judge who had better start asking for mercy:

This is a woman who voted to deny freedom to a man imprisoned for rape even after DNA evidence showed the sperm belonged to someone else. Her argument: He might have worn a condom.

Later evidence provided proof of his innocence even she couldn’t explain away.

This is a woman who, with her colleagues, appointed grossly incompetent lawyers to handle appeals for indigent death row inmates and then said, “Sorry, your client had his chance,” when skilled lawyers later came in to try to clean up the messes.

This is a woman who, a week before Christmas in 2002, voted to deny freedom to a man who under pressure had accepted a plea bargain for a crime that new evidence showed — “unquestionably,” according to the trial judge who heard the evidence — he did not commit.

Sadly, those aren't even the worst of this woman's crimes against justice.

Chief Judge Keller went home early and was called shortly before 5 p.m. by Marty. Richard’s lawyers were having computer problems and wanted the clerk’s office to stay open until 5:20 or so to receive their filing. Rather than forward the message to Johnson as policy required, Keller instructed Marty to tell the lawyers no. The lawyers made attempts up until 6 p.m. to deliver the filing but were told nobody was there. Richard was executed at about 8:20 p.m.

Two days later, the Supreme Court stopped all executions by injection based on the same arguments Richard’s lawyers made. Richard was the only convict executed until six months later, when the Supreme Court OK’d lethal injection as constitutional.

Here’s the stunner: The morning after Richard’s execution, the nine judges had their weekly conference. At the end of it some of the judges expressed surprise that Richard’s lawyers hadn’t submitted a filing.

Cochran even raised the question — hypothetically, she thought — of what would happen if the lawyers showed up after the clerk’s office closed. She said the court should accept the filing anyway. According to witnesses, Keller said, “The clerk’s office closes at 5 p.m. It’s not a policy, it’s a fact.”

Keller lacked the decency or the courage to tell her colleagues about the call she had received.

This "judge" needs to be immediately removed from the bench.

-- Is it possible that Citi and Bank of America still won't make it? Sheesh.

Sir Allen turns up outside DC

Has John Cornyn returned the campaign contributions from Stanford yet?

U.S. law enforcement officials found Texas billionaire Allen Stanford in the Fredericksburg, Virginia, area on Thursday, and served him with a complaint accusing him of an $8 billion fraud.

FBI spokesman Richard Kolko said the FBI acted at the request of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), and that Stanford had not been arrested. The FBI gave few other details.

The whereabouts of the jet-setting 58-year-old tycoon who has luxury U.S. and Caribbean homes, had been the subject of intense speculation since he failed to respond to civil charges filed in Texas on Tuesday.

Stanford, two colleagues and three Stanford companies are accused of a "massive fraud" by the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission.

U.S. federal agents raided Stanford Group offices in Miami, Houston and other U.S. cities earlier this week.

The fallout from the SEC charges against the flamboyant, mustachioed financier and sports entrepreneur has rippled far beyond U.S. borders, prompting investigations from Houston to Antigua and Caracas.

Five Latin American countries have now acted against Stanford businesses, while Britain's Serious Fraud Office (SFO) is monitoring a possible U.K. link after media reports that Stanford's books were audited in Britain.

The Houston Chronicle has a blog devoted solely to the Stanford developments -- Stanford Watch.

What Change Looks Like 2

Run on Antigua banks as Stanford goes on the lam

Anybody called John Cornyn's office yet to see if he knows where Sir Allen is?

ST. JOHN'S, Antigua (Reuters) – Hundreds of people lined up to withdraw money from banks in Antigua and Caracas affiliated with Texas billionaire Allen Stanford, a day after the tycoon was charged with an $8 billion fraud.

The whereabouts of the brash, 58-year-old financier were unknown. CNBC television said he tried to hire a private jet to fly from Houston, the site of his U.S. headquarters, to Antigua, but the jet lessor refused to accept his credit card.

The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission has accused Stanford of operating a fraud centered on the sale of certificates of deposit from his Antiguan affiliate, Stanford International Bank Ltd (SIB).

The scheme has drawn comparisons with the alleged $50 billion fraud by Wall Street veteran Bernard Madoff.

In the twin-island state of Antigua and Barbuda, where Stanford is the biggest private employer, Prime Minister Baldwin Spencer said the charges against him could have "catastrophic" consequences but urged the public not to panic.

Two police officers stood watch at the Bank of Antigua as at least 600 people stood in a line stretching around a street corner, despite assurances from regional monetary authorities that the bank had sufficient reserves.

John Cornyn manages to get involved in every significant Texas-based financial swindle/scandal, yet the brain-dead Texas conservatives continue sending him back to Congress to defraud us over and over again.

All was quiet on Wednesday outside Stanford's Houston office, a day after a raid by federal agents. A man who answered the phone at Stanford's Boston offices but declined to give his name said, "The office is open but we are not doing anything."

Certainly nothing like identifying yourself or closing investors' accounts and returning all their money, eh buddy?

Stanford, who holds dual U.S.-Antiguan citizenship, has donated millions of dollars to U.S. politicians and secured endorsements from sports stars, including golfer Vijay Singh and soccer player Michael Owen.

...

Stanford lived for more than 20 years in the reef-girded island of Antigua, only 9 miles wide and 12 miles long with a population of just 70,000.

He owns the country's largest newspaper, heads a local commercial bank, and is the first American to receive a knighthood from its government. He has homes sprinkled across the region, from Antigua to St. Croix in the U.S. Virgin Islands to Miami.

I would like for John Cornyn to join Roland Burris on the unemployment line ASAP.

Update: From Trail Blazers ...

Sen. John McCain of Arizona was the first major recipient to step forward (and disgorge Stanford's political contributions). An aide said this morning that he will donate his receipts -- $28,150, according to the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics - to a yet-to-be named charity.

McCain was the 3d biggest recipient from Stanford, his employees and his company's political action committee.

No word yet on disgorgement from the others in the top five, including two Texans: Bill Nelson, D-Fla. ($45,900); runner-up, Dallas GOP Rep. Pete Sessions ($41,375); fourth place Sen. Chris Dodd, D-Conn. ($27,500), and Texas GOP Sen. John Cornyn ($19,700).

Gov. MoFo says 'no thanks' to your money

That makes him a minority even among Republican governors, including Sarah Palin, Charlie Crist, and Arnold Schwarzeneggar.

How much more stupid can one man get?

Gov. Rick Perry said Tuesday he’s not sure the state should accept all of its projected share of federal stimulus money — $16.9 billion and counting by preliminary estimates — because of the “mile-long” strings that might be attached.

“In Texas, we actually know it is a good idea to look a gift horse in the mouth. If we don’t, we may end up with an old nag,” said Perry, who has been critical of such federal spending and voiced concern over whether the state could afford federal strings.

“One thing that concerns me is that dollars are going to come into Texas that require us to match those dollars, and then two years from now, those federal dollars won’t be there, but we will be on the hook to pay for those programs going forward,” Perry said.

According to a preliminary legislative analysis, economic stimulus provisions that affect the Texas budget could total about $16.9 billion.

Perry didn’t say which programs he was referring to, and spokeswoman Katherine Cesinger said his staff still is looking over potential allocations to Texas.

But even in Houston, people are finally starting to understand what a miserable failure the man is. One of the top comments from Chron.com readers at the story link is from "RepublicanForChange":

Texas ranks 49 out of 50 states in the number of children who do not have health insurance. Why? Governor Perry rejected billions of dollars in federal health care dollars because of a fear Texas would have to spend more money on children's health care. If Texas had committed those extra dollars, Texas would rank about 40th of 50 states in its health care spending for children, and Governor Perry thinks that is too much.

Governor Perry does not object to the University of Texas and Texas A & M spending a combined 200 million dollars per year for seven Saturday's of football entertainment, but he does object to spending even one more dollar on sick children. Rick Perry has made clear his belief that a child's "Right to Life" ends at birth.

See? Evolution isn't just a theory.

Update: Jason Embry via Phillip Martin reports that Governor 39% is already backtracking:

Gov. Rick Perry said today he will gladly accept federal stimulus dollars for one-time expenses, but he’s not anxious to embrace dollars for recurring state expenses.

“We need the freedom to pick and choose,” Perry told a group of small-business leaders in Austin. “We need the freedom to say, ‘no thanks’ if they’re trying to stick a bill on the people of the State of Texas just to expand government.”