TV coverage of Fast Eddie worse than the storm itself

Ken Hoffman is dead solid perfect:

1. With the possible exception of the new TV commercial with Big Oil whining that they're really making very little money (yeah, right, and Hooters doesn't want you to notice their waitresses), nothing on TV is funnier than our local stations promising calm, reasoned coverage of approaching storms and hurricanes ... and then hysterically screaming, "The sky is falling! Run for your lives! Women, children and weathermen first!"

2. The 10 p.m. news: Channel 11 went to its bullpen and dusted off Dr. Neil Frank as Tropical Storm Eduardo "inches toward" the Gulf Coast. Anchorman Greg Hurst said Dr. Neil would "put everything in perspective" for us. I wonder how Channel 11's chief weatherman Gene Norman feels about Dr. Neil showing up for the big story? It's like Norman quarterbacks the team the whole season, but Dr. Neil is brought out of retirement for the Super Bowl.

3. Channel 13 weatherman Tim Heller predicted winds of 50-60 mph when Edouard touches down. During Rita, Heller looked like a kid who lost his puppy when the hurricane missed us. It would have been his first big story since arriving in Houston. So it was slightly understandable. ...

4. Whoa, Channel 2 just headlined a story "Survival Checklist." Survival? That's a little hysterical, isn't it? The weatherman said the storm surge would be 3-4 feet. That's not life-threatening, that's rad surfing, dude.

5. Do all the stations do a story from the same Home Depot, or do they spread the free plugs around?

6. I'm watching the Astros game live from Wrigley Field. The weather is much, much worse in Chicago. Lance Berkman just saw a lightning bolt and tucked tail and ran into the dugout. He'll never be a TV reporter. No guts, no ratings.

7. (11 p.m.) Channel 11's Vincente Arenas is on Galveston Island. He just held up a gizmo that measures wind speed. It said 8 mph. You know that ceiling fan at the West Alabama Ice House that gently stirs the air? That's 10 mph. ... Have you seen the billboards for McDonald's new Southern-style Chicken Sandwich? The sign says, "available seven days a week, including Sundays." Hey, if you're going to flat-out steal Chick-fil-A's sandwich, right down to the pickles, you might want to show some respect and not mock Chick-fil-A for giving its employees Sunday off.

8. (After midnight.) At the risk of making a prediction that could backfire, especially if Edouard strengthens and causes pain to our area, I'm saying the storm will be nothing but a heavy rain. I like to err on the side of danger. Caution is for amateurs. ... Why don't my neighbors turn off their sprinklers? It's going to pour buckets Tuesday.

I walked the dog about 2:30 a.m. and it was warm, muggy, and as still and quiet as you would expect it to be at two-thirty in the morning. The storm coverage anchors had all turned in at midnight -- saving their sputtering for the 4 a.m. flash report, I presume -- so there was the usual nada (infomercials) on the tube. I surfed the net until I got sleepy again at 5, sliding off comfortably in the awareness that we weren't going to be endangered no matter what the talking heads on my teevee said.

It was a nice day off. I'll take a hurricane like that any time.

Edouard "inches", "creeps", "plods", "slogs"...

... even "ambles". In some places along the Texas Gulf coast (probably Jefferson County) he is "pounding" and "hitting".

Some are live-blogging -- zzz -- some are Twittering (this is a sample from yesterday's rehearsal, creativity courtesy Julie P at MOMocrats):

8 AM AM
Woke to screaming wind

8:01 AM
Never mind, it was kids, not wind

8:02 AM
Kids were screaming because they heard the wind

8:05 AM
Gave kids prebought premade preservative and sugar laden scones from store.
& bottled water. B/c we dump health and eco @ first sign of mother nature

8:07 AM
Breakfast didn't last long

8:12 AM
Sugar hit, storm too. Kids and winds are engaged in howling competition

8:14 AM
Will keep you up to date until power goes ou...

10:28 AM
Power's back

11:04 AM
Fish are in the yard, and power's flick...

6:22 PM
Everyone's heading to the beer garden in Clear Lake Shores to swap downed
tree stories!

Obviously it never got this bad. Like the batteries and the MREs, we can always save it for the next one. One last thing, from Congressman John Culberson's e-mail newsletter yesterday (bold emphasis his):

Dear Friends,

Tropical Storm Edouard appears headed our way; and some predictions suggest we could start feeling the effects of the storm sometime after midnight tonight.

After the destruction of Tropical Storm Allison in 2001, Houstonians know that no tropical storm should be taken lightly. While the winds may not be as strong, the rain can be even more devastating.

Here are some tips I follow to keep my family and home safe during hurricane season:

...

Lie on the floor under a table or another sturdy object.

My batshit conservative Congressman, lying under a table in his house, Twittering.

I can easily picture that.

Edouard headed right at Houston

The Weekly Wrangle

We're making preparations for Edouard here -- a full tank of gasoline, some batteries and extra water -- but there's still time to read the Texas Progressive Alliance's Blog Round-up (for those who aren't in danger of losing their electricity) ...

Last week on Bluedaze , Big Oil threatened TXsharon. In "Big Oil" Threatens Harm to My "Lovelies" and Me she calls out the abuser and includes a new PR plan that will save Chesapeake Energy millions of dollars and help clean up Big Oil's act.

Mike Thomas of Rhetoric & Rhythm is critical of a campaign to knock off Blue Dog Democrats , even if it means electing Republicans, all in an effort to punish Democrats for failing to hew the line on certain progressive issues.

refinish69 from Doing My Part For The Left has always heard that What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas or does it for Pete Sessions?

Burnt Orange Report went on strike last week to raise $1000 for Chris Bell's State Senate campaign. 12 hours later, 15 donors raised $1,075 for Bell and the BOR team is back to blogging.

jobsanger opines about the lack of Democratic leadership from Speaker Nancy Pelosi in Pelosi: Where's The Leadership?, and lets us know the Nanny State is alive and well in The "Nanny State" Strikes Again.

The Texas Cloverleaf is on a strike for change! Help raise money for selected candidates. What do we want? Donations! When do we need them? Now!

Texas Liberal suggests that life is like a harbor where ships come and go.

Off the Kuff calculates how many eligible but unregistered voters there are in Harris County, and compares it to 2004.

Obama came to Houston but only for a few high-dollar fundraisers in River Oaks, a trend sadly that is repetitive of past Democratic presidential nominees. PDiddie at Brains and Eggs had the report, and the total take was $1.5 mill.

Mean Rachel gets a response from Rep. Elliott Naishtat to her modest proposal from last week, and at dinner discovers just how unwired the Yankee in the Texas House really is.

Over at TexasKaos, lightseeker makes the case for a Republican straight ticket ballot, and for the Democratic slate (with video)! It may be the only way to save the Republican party from its present delusional masters!

CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme wonders which will come first -- the death of the Republican Party or a full blown police state. CBT, ever the optimist, predicts the former.

Vince at Capitol Annex notes that Railroad Commissioner Elizabeth Ames Jones is going to run for US Senate if and when Kay Bailey Hutchison vacates her seat to run for governor.

Aimlessness at WhosPlayin got one too many email forwards about "Why Men are Republicans", and decided to retort with "Why Men Prefer Democrats".

McBlogger takes a look at the ability of DHS to snoop on you. And you thought the FISA stuff was bad...

BossKitty at TruthHugger wonders "What is Adrenarche and Why Are America’s Services Sexually Immature?"

Paris Hilton's mother (McCain maximum contributor) objects to ad

Bold is mine:

It is a complete waste of the money John McCain's contributors have donated to his campaign. It is a complete waste of the country's time and attention at the very moment when millions of people are losing their homes and their jobs. And it is a completely frivolous way to choose the next President of the United States.

Oh, there's also this:

Kathy Hilton and her husband donated a total of $4,600 to McCain's campaign earlier this year.

Do you think his campaign will stop the slime now? Nah, I didn't think so either.