Sunday Funnies

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Feith-based intelligence

Marty Kaplan will never work on a presidential campaign after this: "If only Doug Feith had big tits."

More moneyshot quotes this week ...

"I don't want my 17-year-old son to have to pick tomatoes or make beds in Las Vegas."

-- Karl Rove, who apparently didn't get the memo about the robust US economy

"Why are you making these statements?" (vice presidential counsel David) Addington asked White House communications director Dan Bartlett.

"Your boss is the one who wanted" them, Bartlett replied, referring to Cheney.

...

"We're a day late in getting responses to the story," Rove told a staff meeting, according to Libby's notes.

"Get the full story out," Cheney told aides, according to Libby's grand jury testimony.

-- Testimony this week from the trial of Scooter Libby. Addington is the fellow who replaced Libby, and who also has provided the legal opinion that Dick Cheney is above the law.

"I'd like them to stop. They should do a show where torture backfires."

-- Army Brig. Gen. Patrick Finnegan, dean of the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, about the hit television show "24", which routinely depicts the use of torture to extract information to prevent terrorist attacks. Update (2/13): More from ThinkProgress.

"I thought about calling in sick, but my bosses would figure it out pretty quickly. 'Oh, you were sick, were you? I saw your picture. Nice try.'" Besides, "I've been to enough fashion shows to know how fun they are," she said, rolling her eyes ever so slightly. "My first show ever was Heatherette when I was a freshman and Amanda Lepore came out naked, wearing just lipstick. I'm completely spoiled. Every time I see a show now, it's like, 'Really? That's all you're going to do? You just want me to look at the clothes?'"

--eldest Bush twin Barbara, on skipping New York fashion shows because she had to work

Burn vouchers, not coal

The education elites in Texas are preparing another frontal assault on public schools. They had a rally, they've got support from Governor 39% and Lite Governor Dewfus, and the Republicans in the Lege are going to try again to get something done on vouchers. My blog hermanos push back. Capitol Annex:

I double dog dare Leininger to approach some African Americans or Latinos who lived through the Civil Rights Movement in Texas and tell them how vouchers are a civil right. If he comes out alive, I’d love to hear what he has to say.

Burnt Orange (Sam Jones):

Yes indeed; those poor, poor children. I know it must be terrifying for some to think of sending their kids through the public school system. With the failing test scores, prevailing presence of drugs and gangs, and the underpaid teacher force, it's a wonder that any of us went to public school at all...

Texas Kaos (lightseeker):

Texas yearly per pupil spending is $1,239. The schools are supposed to get 60% of that from the state and the rest from local property taxes. The state has consistently underfunded their part. This is one of the reasons for the endless increases in local property taxes. In addition, the state has continually tacked on more and more unfunded mandates on the local districts, further complicating their funding woes.

Charles Kuffner:

It's just a shame that no one ran against State Sen. Kyle Janek, who will be filing a pro-voucher bill, last year. Maybe he'd have met the same fate as some of Leininger's other minions. Some people need the message delivered to them personally, I guess.

South Texas Chisme:

The Texas Public Policy Foundation responds using Manhattan Institute, a conservative think tank, data. These people don't believe in pre-K education.

Hal at Half Empty:

I think it’s time for James Leininger to take stock of his grand plan. He has fewer supporters in the legislature in this session than last, and the vote just isn’t there. Besides that, he has just illustrated for us one of the less obvious reasons why school voucher programs are a bad idea. What if someone pulls the plug on the voucher system, like Leininger plans to do with his program? Private schools will turn out their voucher students by the thousands, leaving them no choice but to go back to the public schools, which will have no choice but to admit them. These will be schools that will have been underfunded for years because the voucher system redirected funds from public schools to private schools.

And another reason to rethink school vouchers? No one wants them.

So my solution is that we gather up all the vouchers and use them to generate the electricity that TXU wants to build coal-burning plants for. Speaking of rallies, "Stop the Coal Rush!" will be the fun one this weekend.

And when we finally run out of those, we can burn James Leininger and his sycophants in Austin, because that natural gas will last for centuries.

Diaper-free, Anna-free edition

The media is simply so fixated on human foible this week that I am forced to turn it off. Here is some news that really matters:

-- A young woman died and you won't hear about her on your teevee. But you ought to. Update: Make that two young women.

-- An interrogator of Iraqis gets paid back with his nightmares:

The lead interrogator at the (division interrogation facility) had given me specific instructions: I was to deprive the detainee of sleep during my 12-hour shift by opening his cell every hour, forcing him to stand in a corner and stripping him of his clothes. Three years later the tables have turned. It is rare that I sleep through the night without a visit from this man. His memory harasses me as I once harassed him.

Despite my best efforts, I cannot ignore the mistakes I made at the interrogation facility in Fallujah. I failed to disobey a meritless order, I failed to protect a prisoner in my custody, and I failed to uphold the standards of human decency. Instead, I intimidated, degraded and humiliated a man who could not defend himself. I compromised my values. I will never forgive myself.

This fellow's war wounds are about the best a veteran could hope for.

-- Dick Cheney was expected to testify for the defense in the trial of Scooter Libby, but now it is believed that he won't, because a cross-examination by Patrick Fitzgerald would likely damage their case beyond repair. Following Tim Russert's testimony an old report surfaced with this quote: "Integrity is for paupers."

This case has revealed the worst about the lies of this administration and the corporate media that protects them.

-- Both the House Sergeant-at-Arms and the White House press secretary have refuted Republican whining about the airplane Speaker Pelosi is to use. Yet they still whine.

-- Lt. Ehren Watada, the first commissioned officer to be court-martialed for refusing to fight in Bush's War, got a mistrial this week. Apparently the judge panicked. And the case will be argued as double jeopardy if a re-trial proceeds as planned.

-- New Orleans residents (the middle class Caucasian ones this time) are bailing out.

-- Ellen Goodman reminds us that global warming may not be able to change the Washington political climate:

I would like to say we're at a point where global warming is impossible to deny. Let's just say that global warming deniers are now on a par with Holocaust deniers, though one denies the past and the other denies the present and future. ...

The folks at the Pew Research Center clocking public attitudes show that global warming remains 20th on the annual list of 23 policy priorities. Below terrorism, of course, but also below tax cuts, crime, morality, and illegal immigration. ...

This great divide comes from the science-be-damned-and-debunked attitude of the Bush administration and its favorite media outlets. The day of the report, Big Oil Senator James Inhofe of Oklahoma actually described it as "a shining example of the corruption of science for political gain." Speaking of corruption of science, the American Enterprise Institute, which has gotten $1.6 million over the years from Exxon Mobil, offered $10,000 last summer to scientists who would counter the IPCC report. ...

Whatever we do today, we face long-range global problems with a short-term local attention span. We're no happier looking at this global thermostat than we are looking at the nuclear doomsday clock.

Can we change from debating global warming to preparing? Can we define the issue in ways that turn denial into action? In America what matters now isn't environmental science, but political science.

We are still waiting for the time when an election hinges on a candidate's plans for a changing climate.

--and something to laugh at: Cheney and Rumsfeld combined means two heads, but still one giant asshole.